1. Serena
It’s funny how betrayal feels like an ulcer in my stomach, an undeniable burning radiating from my chest and encompassing every part of my body. I feel sick and hot but also strangely cold, as though my blood is frozen in my veins and refuses to pump in time with the rhythm of my heart.
I know that’s scientifically inaccurate, but there’s no rationale for the disloyalty I’m facing.
When I came to Greyson, Dante, and Lincoln’s house with Dylan to hang out with CeCe and Ava for a movie night, I never anticipated that my poor decisions would cause such irreparable damage. After Devin stormed into the house to find me and fought with Celeste’s boyfriend, Dante, the very last thing I expected was for Dylan, my best friend since childhood, to admit to telling Marina that Devin and I slept together.
It’s not that I think I didn’t do something wrong; I did. I messed up. I should have stayed far away from Devin, and it’s something I will regret for the rest of my life.
“You fucked him after we hooked up? You’re a fucking whore, just like he said you’d be once you got a taste of dick,” Dylan seethes. Shaking my head, I feel the tears roll down my cheeks as I stare at the boy I once thought of as my best friend. His gross exaggeration simultaneously angers and hurts me; Dylan and I kissed, but it never went beyond that point. For him to claim that it was anything more is mortifying. I’m about to open my mouth to defend myself when CeCe approaches him calmly, like a warrior ready for peace negotiations. But instead of diffusing the situation, she lifts her right hand to shove his head back by his forehead and uses her left hand to hit his throat with an open palm. Simultaneously, she hooks her right leg around his foot and moves the hand from Dylan’s forehead to his knee, pushing him backward until he crumbles.
Looking down at him, she lifts her leg and positions it over his dick. “Give me one reason why I shouldn’t crush your balls for speaking to Serena like that.” It’s hard to remember that my five-foot-nothing friend is trained in Brazilian jiu-jitsu and can incapacitate a person with little to no effort.
“Fuck you, you fucking bitch,” Dylan wheezes, struggling to speak after she karate-chopped his windpipe.
Before CeCe can respond, Ava’s voice breaks in. “You suck at kissing. And you,” Ava turns to Devin, who’s now slumped against the wall from Dante’s hits. “You’re a selfish lover.”
“Vixen,” Grey grinds out. “Not fucking helping.”
Dante grabs CeCe, wrangling her body behind his and approaching Dylan like an angry wildebeest. Before I can say or do anything, Ava’s arms wrap around me in a tight hold.
“We’ll kill them for you, Rena. You don’t deserve that; you don’t deserve any of this,” Ava whispers, pressing me tighter against her body.
“Wh-why would he do this? He was my best friend,” I choke out, disbelief and sorrow chopping up my words. “I confided in him. I-I told him what happened. I knew he w-was angry, but this?” I say through the tears.
“Serena, are you okay?” Dante asks, coming to stand behind CeCe.
I don’t hesitate to respond. “I just want to go home,” I murmur, dropping my head so that I don’t see the pitying glances on their faces.
“I don’t think that’s a safe option right now. They both know where your apartment is. Why don’t you stay here? Or in my dorm with me?” Celeste asks. Ava responds, probably with something sarcastic, but I tune her out.
“I-I am going to go home. To my mom’s house. I can’t be here. H-he was my best friend. Why would he do this?” I repeat, barely getting out the words. “I-I’m going to call an Uber.”
Ava immediately jumps in, offering to drive me the half hour back home. I protest, but Ava and CeCe keep insisting, and I realize that it’s easier for me just to give in. I feel helpless and embarrassed that my friends witnessed Devin and Dylan’s treatment toward me, that everyone now knows about the greatest mistake of my life, and that I’m now relying on them for a charity ride back home.
Walking away from the circle Ava, CeCe, and Dante created, I walk to the front door and press my body to the wall, trying to make myself as small and invisible as possible.
—
The ride to my mom’s house was silent and tense; not even Ava, who can be clumsy with both her words and her body, attempted to diffuse the tension. But now, less than five minutes from my mom’s house, I break the silence.
“Thank you both. I…” I clear my throat, addressing Greyson and Ava. “I appreciate you bringing me back home.”
Ava turns in her seat, staring at me with her large, dark eyes. “We’re always here for you, Rena. I’m so sorry for what happened back at the house.”
Grey puts the car in park and turns to look at me. “I never would have invited Dylan if I knew he was going to pull shit like that tonight. I’m sorry, Serena. That was fucked up, and he had no right to start shit. Devin’s a little prick, and I’m not surprised by his reaction, but Dylan? Not fucking cool.”
I smile tightly, thankful for their concern but also mortified that I’m on the receiving end of their pity. “It’s okay,” I offer lamely.
“Hell no, it’s not,” Ava yells, and I wince at her volume. “Sorry.” She lowers her voice. “But it’s not okay. He had no right to judge you, let alone spread your business around like he had a right to it.”
“I know,” I whisper. Reaching for the handle, I open the door. Before I slip out of Grey’s Jeep, I lean over the console and grab Ava’s shoulder. “Thank you, Aves. It means a lot to me that you and CeCe were there for me and stood up for me. I’ve never really had that before.” I look to Grey. “You, too. Thank you and the guys for defending me.”
“Always, Rena. Always.” I remove my hand from Ava, hop out of the Grey’s lifted monstrosity, and shut the door behind me.
The short walk from the curb to my mom’s front door feels like I’m walking the plank in a pirate movie. I look behind me and wave at Grey and Ava, who waited to back out until I made it to the door. Looking forward, I take a deep breath and press down on the handle.
“Mamá,” I call out, stepping over the threshold.
“Serena?” my mother’s voice rings out from the opposite side of our small house, a mixture of surprise and confusion at my sudden appearance. “What are you doing home? I thought you were coming next week?”
Walking toward her voice, I round the corner and see her sitting at the kitchen island, wine glass in hand while working on her laptop. Before the divorce, my mother was a stay-at-home mom; post-divorce, she used the teaching degree she spent four years on and started teaching history at the local high school. Two years ago, she became the vice principal of that same school. Now, it seems as though she never stops working.
“Mu?eca, what’s wrong?” I smile at the endearment. My mother has called me her “doll” since I was a little girl obsessed with baby dolls.
“Nothing. Why does something have to be wrong for me to come home unexpectedly?”
My mother levels me with an assessing gaze. “Did you forget I raised you? I know you, Serena, and how carefully you plan each move you make. Tell me, what happened?”
“I made a mistake.” I wince. “Several mistakes. And n-now everything feels like it’s imploding.” I release the last of my words with a cry, dissolving into silent tears as I watch my mother set her wineglass down and rise from her stool. Walking toward me, she envelops me in a hug, squeezing me into her petite body.
“Come, talk to me, hija.” My mom leads me to the living room and all but pushes me onto the couch. “Are you hungry?”
My stomach clenches at the thought of food. “N-no, thank you.”
“Serena, what happened?”
Throwing my body against the cushions, I let out a heavy sigh. “I slept with Devin,” I state matter-of-factly. “And I made out with Dylan before that.”
I chance a look at my mother and see her eyebrows raised to her hairline. “In the same day? Is this one of those ‘why choose’ things?”
I rear back. “Wait, what? No, of course not. How do you know what those are?”
“I’m forty-five, not dead. Start at the beginning.”
“I feel like I’m in an alternate universe.” I pause, shaking my head. “You know Dylan and I have always been close. A few weeks ago, we kissed; it felt… off. Just not right. I told him I wasn’t interested in anything more than friendship and that I didn’t want to risk our relationship for something that wouldn’t even work out.”
My mom nods. “Okay. How did he take that?”
I think back to our initial conversation. “He was fine with it. Or so it seemed. But that’s not where I messed up. If I just kissed Dylan, we could have worked through it without any major issues. But, when I was at Dad’s a few weeks ago, Devin came over, and we slept together.” I look away from my mother, too ashamed to see her face. My mother has zero tolerance or empathy for adultery, and I’m mortified that I put myself in this position.
Long moments of silence pass before my mom asks, “Are Devin and Marina still together?”
I shake my head. “No, or at least they weren’t. They were broken up when it happened, but I’m not stupid. I knew they’d get back together, but I was lonely and angry that I had to be at Dad’s house just to be ignored for the entire weekend. I knew it was wrong, knew I shouldn’t have done it, but I did.”
“You haven’t been to your dad’s in three weeks. What happened today to upset you?”
I look toward the ceiling and release a sigh. “We were at Ava and CeCe’s boyfriends’ house; Dylan and a couple of other people were there. We were supposed to have a movie night, but Devin came barging into the house, hurling accusations and insults at me, saying that I had told Marina about us. I had a feeling our night together would get out, but I didn’t perpetuate the rumors. I just told Ava and CeCe today.
“Devin and Dante, CeCe’s guy, ended up trading punches, and it was a bloody mess. Dylan admitted, in front of everyone, that he told Marina because she had a right to know what happened. H-he said such horrible things, Mom,” I say with a sob, burrowing my face in my hands.
“Shh. It’s okay, Serena,” my mom soothes, rubbing my back as though I’m an eight-year-old with a bellyache and not an eighteen-year-old harlot.
“I-I was the other woman, Mamá.”
“No,” she says sharply. “You made a bad judgment call, Mu?eca; I won’t lie to you. But you are not the other woman if they were broken up. Should you have slept with that boy? Probably not, but only because he didn’t respect you or the gift you gave him.”
I’m about to respond when my phone vibrates in quick succession, signaling a phone call. Pulling it from my pocket, I check the caller ID and groan when I see my father’s contact information on the screen.
“Serena, do not answer—” I cut my mom off by swiping on the icon and bringing the phone to my ear.
“Hi, Dad.”
“Of all the selfish, irresponsible, reckless things you could have done, you did this? You slept with your sister’s boyfriend? How could you be so cruel, Serena? Your sister is a goddamn mess because of your actions. Have you no shame?”
“Dad—”
“It’s your mother; she poisoned you against your family, and that’s why you did this. After everything I’ve done for you. I provide for everything, including that hobbit hole your mother calls a house. I’m ashamed of you. You need to get over here now and make this right, or I’ll—”
My mom yanks the phone out of my hand, preventing me from hearing the rest of my dad’s tirade. “How dare you speak to my daughter this way, Stephen. Instead of asking her what happened, checking on your daughter to make sure she was safe and well, you verbally attacked her and accused me of poisoning her against you and your disgrace of a family. Your mother would be ashamed of you, Stephen Castillo.”
She pauses, listening to his response. Her face quickly morphs from disgust to outrage the longer she listens. “Contigo se confirma la teoría científica de que un humano puedo vivir sin cerebro.” You have confirmed the scientific theory that a human can live without a brain. “No, I will not put my daughter back on the phone to be subjected to your abuse. How—” My mother is cut off, her lips pinching together. “You and your wife are both assholes that can rot in hell,” she yells before hanging up.
I choke on my saliva, a mixture of laughter and tears momentarily halting my speech. “Did you just tell Dad he and Brandi can rot in hell?”
“Yes. You are not going there, Serena.”
I search her face. “What did he say?”
She just shakes her head. “It doesn’t matter what he said. He doesn’t provide for you, I do. You provide for yourself. You have a full-ride scholarship, and your housing is covered through the scholarship. I pay for this house; it’s just his stupid name on the mortgage. I will sell this place before I allow him to take one more damn thing from us.”
“Mamá,” I start, but she shakes her head.
“No, this is not up for discussion. You will not be subjected to his cruelty. You made a mistake, but you are not a bad person. You are his daughter. He seems to have forgotten that.” Handing my phone back, she grabs my shoulders and pulls me into her body. “I’m sorry that this happened to you and that you lost people in the process. But remember, Mu?eca, if they were supposed to be in your life long-term, they wouldn’t have done this to you. Isn’t it better to find out their true character at your age than in ten, twenty years from now?”
I shrug against her body, sniffling. “I don’t care about Devin; he’s always been an asshole, and I was just lonely. But Dylan? I-it just hurts. He was my best friend, and now? It’s like I-I don’t even know him.”
“Shhh, he’s not worth your tears,” my mom soothes.
Pulling back, I look up at my mother’s beautiful face. Her warm honey complexion is clear, not a trace of makeup marring her skin, and her dark brown eyes are pained, as though she feels my anguish just as deeply as I do. She offers a sad smile, her full lips barely pulling at the corners.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Of course,” she answers immediately.
“I didn’t feel any spark—any connection—with Dylan or Devin. Is it possible I’m defective?” I feel like an idiot for even asking the question. But shouldn’t I have at least felt something?
My mom tsks, grabbing me again. “Your body just knew what your mind didn’t: both of those boys were not worthy of you. One day, you’ll meet someone who sees you as their whole world and will make your life, your happiness, their priority.”
Despite my mom’s wisdom and her reassurance, I can’t help but think that she’s wrong.