29. Amara
Chapter twenty-nine
Amara
M y palms are sweating. My whole body is sweating.
The magazine I’m clutching crinkles in protest as I grip it tighter. Modern designs stare back at me from the glossy pages as I flip the page, studying a minimalist living room with a charcoal-gray sectional and a statement coffee table made of dark-stained oak. Too cold. Too impersonal.
I’ve been slowly transforming Nicholas’s apartment, adding little touches to make it feel less like a showroom and more like a real home. A throw blanket here, warmer lighting there, maybe a plant or two to breathe some life into the space. He hasn’t said much about it. I’m starting to think he probably doesn’t even notice… or care.
My stomach twists with nerves as I flip the page once more. The last time I went home was Christmas. Now, I’m heading back with my fiancé.
My fake fiancé.
Lying to my family has never been easy, and this? This lie might be my worst one yet. They gave up so much so I could chase my dreams, and now…
A flicker of movement pulls me from my spiraling thoughts. I glance up, meeting a pair of dark, intense eyes fixed squarely on me, one hand covering his mouth as he studies me.
“What?” I ask, dropping the magazine to my lap.
His lips twitch, and then a small smile curves them. “You’re beautiful.”
Heat floods my cheeks, and for one stupid second, my nerves give way to something warmer, softer. He has this way of looking at me like I’m the only person in the world. It’s infuriating. It’s distracting. It’s also not real .
He arches a brow. “Are you nervous?”
A dry laugh escapes me as I shake my head and toss the crumpled magazine onto the seat beside me. “Are you kidding? I can already picture my grandma and sister lining up to interrogate me. ‘Why did you and Liam break up? Why didn’t you tell us you were engaged? And, oh, my personal favorite… Why did the media call you his assistant when you told us you were a designer?’”
His brows lift. “You told them you were a designer?”
I sigh, breathing out a sigh. “I might have. They gave up everything so I could follow my dreams, and I didn’t want them to know that the only job I could land was as an assistant,” I admit, my voice quiet. “But now, I’ll have to tell them the truth.”
“Or…”
“Or?” I repeat, my brows knitting.
He shrugs, leaning back against the plush couch. “Or you could tell them you work as a designer under me, and the news just got it wrong. It’s not technically a lie. You will be a designer in less than two months. What’s the harm?”
I blink at him, surprised. “That’s… not a bad idea.”
“I know. I’m brilliant,” he says, flashing a self-satisfied grin.
I scoff, rolling my eyes. “How are you not nervous? They’re going to scrutinize you to death. My grandma and sister will ask a million questions to figure out if you’re good enough for me,” I warn him. “She hated Liam, didn’t think he was good enough for me.”
Nicholas raises an eyebrow, looking entirely unbothered. “She was right. Besides, I’m ten times better than your ex.”
A laugh bubbles out of me before I can stop it. No argument there.
“What else is worrying you?”
I shrug, trying to brush it off. “I just don’t want her to realize I was lying to her.”
He pins me with a look. “Amara.”
I let out a sigh, closing my eyes briefly. “I didn’t have the perfect childhood,” I start, glancing at him. “My dad left when I was still a toddler. I don’t even remember him. And my mom… died a few weeks after my seventh birthday,” I admit, my chest tight at the reminder. I haven’t thought about that day for so long, and the reminder is as painful as it was back then. “And after my mom died, it was just me, my sister, and my grandma. She’s the one who really raised us.”
Nicholas stays silent, waiting for me to go on.
I feel the lump in my throat as my gaze drops to my lap, my chest tightening. “I guess that’s why I care so much about what they think. I want them to be proud of me.”
Nicholas studies me for a moment, leaning forward to cup my face in his hands. “They will be. They already are . You’re amazing, Amara, and your family knows it.” He shoots me a reassuring smile. “There’s nothing to worry about, honey.” His smile widens into a grin. “I’ll make them love me. So much so that your grandma will be begging me to marry you for real.”
My chest tightens at his words, and I force a smile, trying to push down the chaos swirling inside me. Somewhere along the way, I convinced myself I could keep this professional. That I could sleep next to him, kiss him, and not let it get messy.
But it’s too late. I’ve caught feelings—hook, line, and sinker—and they’re not going anywhere.
The sound of footsteps in the aisle saves me from spiraling any further. I glance up as a flight attendant approaches. For a split second, I tense, expecting Savannah to appear, but instead, it’s a blonde woman with a sleek bob and a warm smile.
“Good morning. I’m Astrid, and I’ll be your flight attendant today. Let me know if there’s anything you need.”
My brows knit together, my gaze flickering to Nicholas. Where’s Savannah?
Nicholas nods in acknowledgment, entirely unfazed. “Thank you, Astrid. I’ll have a scotch.”
“Of course.” She turns to me with the same practiced smile. “And for you, Mrs. Blackwood?”
Mrs. Blackwood . The title catches me off guard, making my pulse jump. I recover quickly, pasting on a polite smile. “Just a coffee, please.”
“Certainly. I’ll be back with your drinks shortly.” Astrid leaves, leaving a faint trail of floral perfume.
I turn to Nicholas, narrowing my eyes. “What happened to Savannah?”
He leans back in his seat. “She got reassigned.”
“Reassigned?” My frown deepens. “I thought she was your personal flight attendant.”
“Not anymore.”
“Wait…” I lower my voice, the realization dawning. “Did you… fire her?”
Nicholas shakes his head, his lips curving into a faint smirk. “I didn’t fire her. I had her reassigned. There’s a difference.”
My jaw drops. “Nicholas…”
The smirk fades as his eyes meet mine. “She disrespected you,” he says simply. “I don’t tolerate that. I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable when we take the jet. She won’t be an issue anymore.”
Heat creeps up my neck, and I glance down at my hands, suddenly unsure of what to do with them. “But I’m not going to be taking the jet once the contract ends,” I murmur.
He doesn’t respond immediately, and when I glance up, his jaw is tight, his gaze locked on me. For a moment, neither of us speaks. He just watches me, his eyes searching mine.
Before I can untangle the mess of emotions swirling between us, Astrid returns, setting our drinks down.
“Here you are. A scotch for you, and a coffee for Mrs. Blackwood.”
“Thank you,” I manage, forcing a small smile as Nicholas nods in acknowledgment.
Astrid disappears again, leaving us in silence.
The rest of the flight blurs by, my nerves simmering as the minutes tick closer to arriving at my nanna’s house. Nicholas remains unbothered, meanwhile, I’m doing my best to keep my leg from bouncing.
When the car finally pulls up to the little white bungalow, a wave of nostalgia and unease hits me all at once. The peeling paint and overgrown lawn tug at my chest, a bittersweet reminder of the home I grew up in.
Nicholas steps out first, smoothly rounding the car to open my door. “You ready?” he asks.
Not even a little . But I force a smile, placing my hand in his as I step out. “Yeah. Let’s do this.”
The door swings open before we even make it up the short path. Annie stands at the door, hands mid-wipe on her jeans, her messy bun frizzing in every possible direction.
“Hey, stranger!” she sighs, enveloping me in a hug that smells like cinnamon and dish soap.
“Missed you,” I murmur, my throat tight as I cling to her for just a second longer.
She leans back, her sharp brown eyes zeroing in on Nicholas. Her gaze sweeps over him, taking in every detail from his perfectly tailored jacket to his absurdly symmetrical jawline. Her brows arch, and a grin tugs at her lips.
“And you must be the fiancé.”
Nicholas doesn’t falter, meeting her gaze with one of his trademark polite smiles. “That’s me.” He offers his hand.
Annie stares at his hand for a beat too long, then shakes it. “Hmm. Handsome and polite. I’ll admit, I was expecting worse.”
“Worse?” Nicholas repeats, his brows lifting slightly, amusement flickering in his eyes.
She waves a hand vaguely. “Well, let’s just say you’ve exceeded expectations. For now.”
“Annie,” I warn, my lips twitching at my sister’s interrogation.
She sighs, stepping aside to let us in. “Come on in. Nanna’s in the living room.”
The moment I step inside, it’s like walking into a memory. Nanna is sitting in her wheelchair, her favorite knitted blanket spread across her lap. When spots me, her face lights up, her smile making the corners of her eyes crinkle.
“Amara!” she calls, her voice full of affection despite the pain I know she’s hiding.
I feel the lump in my throat instantly, but I push it down, forcing a smile as I lean down to give her a hug. “Hi, Nanna.”
“God, it’s been too long.” She squeezes me tightly before rubbing my back.
“I know,” I reply, laughing a little awkwardly when I pull back. “I’m sorry.”
She shakes her head, a soft tut escaping her. “Don’t be sorry. I’m just glad you’re here.” Her eyes flick to my ring finger, and I can’t help but stiffen as she reaches for my hand. She inspects the ring closely, then glances up at me with a raised brow.
“How the hell do you walk around with that thing?”
I feel a flush creep up my neck, but I try to keep my composure as she turns her gaze toward Nicholas, who’s standing behind me.
“I’m assuming this is the fiancé who gave you this ring?” she asks, a touch of suspicion in her voice.
I can’t blame her for being skeptical. I’ve never once mentioned Nicholas, and now here I am, introducing him as my fiancé.
Nicholas steps forward and gently takes her hand, his smile smooth and confident, the kind that probably seals more deals than I’ll ever know. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Ma’am.”
Her brows lift at the name, and she lets out a small laugh. “Oh, god, please, call me Mary. ‘Ma’am’ makes me feel like I’m a hundred.”
Nicholas chuckles. “Of course, Mary.”
I watch as Nanna’s initial hesitation fades under his charm, and I can’t help but feel a little relieved. I’m so grateful he’s here, I could almost cry.
Nicholas sits beside me, his knee brushing mine, grounding me, even though my nerves are still buzzing beneath the surface.
Nanna shifts in her wheelchair, folding her hands neatly in her lap. Her gaze sharpens, locking onto me, like she can sense the hesitance I’m trying to hide. Her smile softens, but there’s no missing the curiosity in her voice when she asks, “Well, come on then. Tell me how this happened.”
Beside her, Annie raises an eyebrow, leaning forward, her eyes flicking from me to Nicholas, eager for the story.
I glance at Nicholas, my heart racing. “Well…” I begin, the word coming out a little wobbly as I struggle to find the right words. I give a small, nervous laugh, trying to ease the tension. I grip my knee to keep my fingers from fidgeting. “It’s a long story.”
“That’s all right. I’ve got all afternoon.”
My gaze falls to my hands, which I’m twisting nervously on my lap. “Liam and I broke up a couple of months ago,” I start, my voice trailing off. “He, uh… He cheated on me.”
Nanna’s smile falters, her expression freezing. She sits up straighter, her mouth parting slightly. “He cheated on you?”
I nod, keeping my eyes trained on a spot on the coffee table. Saying it out loud again feels like a fresh wound reopening.
Nanna’s voice softens, her concern evident. “Oh, sweetheart. I’m so sorry. I warned you about him. I knew he wasn’t good enough for you.”
“I know. I should’ve listened,” I admit, my voice tight. “He wasn’t who I thought he was. But I’m okay now.” My eyes flick to Nicholas, grateful for his steady presence. “Nicholas helped me through it.”
Nanna’s attention sharpens, her gaze moving to him. “You did?”
Nicholas nods. “Of course. Amara’s important to me.”
Annie leans back in her chair, narrowing her eyes. “Okay,” she says slowly. “But how do we go from you comforting her to being engaged? I mean, it all happened pretty fast.”
“It wasn’t sudden for me,” he tells them, sitting up straighter, his gaze flickering from Annie to Nanna, his expression softening as he continues. “I’ve been drawn to Amara since the day we met.”
Nanna raises an eyebrow, and Annie leans forward, both women now fully invested in his words. And so am I, turning my head to glance at him.
Nicholas shifts his gaze to me, the intensity of his stare making my breath catch. “I admired her from the start. But we worked together, and I didn’t want to cross any lines. I convinced myself it wasn’t the right time, that I’d keep things professional. But…” He hesitates, his jaw tensing before he exhales deeply. “It became impossible to ignore how I felt. The more time we spent together, the harder it was to pretend I wasn’t falling for her.”
His words hit me like a jolt, knocking the wind from my lungs. I stare at him, momentarily forgetting this is all part of the act. The vulnerability in his eyes is too real, and for a heartbeat, I wonder if any part of his words is real.
Nanna smiles, her gaze warm. “Well, it sounds like you’ve found yourself a good man, Amara.”
Her words linger in the air, weighing heavy on my chest. The guilt swirls within me, mingling with the knot of confusion I’ve been carrying since this whole thing started. I manage a smile, but it feels strained, as though I’m forcing it past all the unspoken things I’m too afraid to acknowledge.
I glance back at Nicholas. He’s still watching me, his face unreadable, but there’s something in his eyes that makes my stomach twist.
“Yeah,” I say, my voice quieter than I intended. “I guess I have.”
The sound of dishes being rinsed and set down fills the kitchen as I pass another plate to the drying rack. Annie stands beside me, sponge in hand, scrubbing at a stubborn casserole dish. It’s quiet except for the running tap water. Comfortable. Normal. Or it would be if my chest didn’t feel like it was caving in.
“So,” Annie begins, glancing at me out of the corner of her eye, “how’s work? You must be pretty busy to not tell me you were engaged.”
I freeze for a fraction of a second, then force my shoulders to relax, focusing on folding the dish towel in my hands. “Yeah, I’m so sorry, I had a lot on my mind.”
Annie rinses the dish, setting it in the drainer. “Yeah, I know how busy assistants can get.”
My hands pause mid-fold, the towel slipping from my fingers. I glance at her, my stomach twisting. “Annie, I—”
“It’s fine,” she cuts me off, holding up a soapy hand. “You don’t have to explain.”
I blink, caught off guard. “I don’t?”
Annie shrugs, rinsing another plate. “I get it. You didn’t want to disappoint Nanna. I mean, I wish you would have told me, but I get it. You’ve always been the one chasing big dreams, and you didn’t want her to think you’d settled for less. It’s not like you’re the only one who’s ever bent the truth to protect her feelings.”
I exhale, a weight lifting off my chest. “You’re not mad?”
“No.” Annie’s smile is small but warm. “But you know you can tell me, right? Whatever it is, you don’t have to deal with it on your own.”
The lump in my throat is back, but this time for a different reason. I nod, my throat moving as I gulp. “How about you? How are you doing?”
“I’m good.” Annie grins, her cheeks tinting slightly pink. “I, uh, started seeing someone.”
My eyebrows shoot up, and a genuine smile breaks across my face. “What? Annie, that’s amazing! Who is it? How long has this been going on?”
Annie rolls her eyes, laughing. “Calm down. It’s new. His name’s Derek, and he’s… nice. You’d like him.”
“I’m so happy for you,” I say, nudging my sister lightly with my elbow.
“And,” Annie adds, “I got a promotion at work. I’m making a little extra money now, so you can stop sending me cash every month.”
I frown, my hands stilling on the damp plate. “Annie, no. Nanna needs that money for her medical bills.”
“She’s doing okay, Amara. Really. I’m making enough to handle us both. And you need it more than we do. I can only imagine how expensive it is to live in New York City. You’ve got rent, food, and—”
I shake my head. “I’m dating a millionaire, Annie. I can afford to give you some money.”
A deep voice interrupts us from the doorway. “Billionaire, baby. With a B .”
Both of us turn to see Nicholas leaning casually against the doorframe, a teasing smile tugging at his lips. Annie bursts into laughter, shaking her head as she dries her hands on a dish towel.
She tosses the towel onto the counter and squeezes my shoulder. “I’ll let you two handle the rest of the dishes.”
Nicholas grins, pushing off the doorframe to step into the kitchen. “Your sister seems great.”
“She’s the best,” I say, unable to help the smile that tugs at my lips.
Nicholas steps closer, picking up a plate from the rack and begins to dry it. “You didn’t tell me you send them money to help out your grandma.”
I stiffen for a second before lifting my shoulder in a shrug. “Well, there wasn’t any reason for me to. It’s not your job to worry about your assistant’s personal life.”
Nicholas sets the plate down and moves closer, his hand slipping around my waist, the intensity in his gaze making my pulse spike. “You’re way more than that, and you know it.”
I try to pull away, shaking my head. “Nicholas. It’s not your problem.”
“Make it my problem,” Nicholas says, his tone serious. “I don’t care about money. I care about you . Let me help with your grandma. Let me make sure your sister isn’t overworked. You shouldn’t have to carry all of this on your own.”
I shake my head, a lump in my throat. “Nicholas, that’s… It’s too much. It’s my problem to deal with. They’re my family.”
He moves closer, the heat of his body and his intense eyes making my chest pound. “They’re your family, yes. But they’re important to me now, too. You don’t have to say yes. But I’m going to help, Amara. Whether you let me or not. You’re my fiancée, and I take care of you, that includes your family.”
His words hit harder than I expect. It’s not just about the help, because Nicholas is a kind, giving man, but it’s the way he sees this… my family, as his responsibility too.
I swallow, struggling to keep my composure. “I don’t know how to accept this.”
“You don’t have to know how,” he replies, his voice softening. “Just trust me. Let me do this for you.”
I exhale, my shoulders dropping in surrender. “Okay.”
Nicholas gives me that smile as he leans in again, brushing his lips over mine. It’s slow and soft, his hand still resting on my waist, and the tenderness of it almost undoes me.
When he pulls back, I feel the lingering warmth of his kiss on my lips. I touch my fingers to my lips, trying to steady my breath, but it’s no use when my heart pounds in my chest as he smiles down at me.
I tried to keep whatever is going on between us casual. Tried to ignore my feelings, but it’s impossible to do so anymore.
I’m falling for him.
And all I can think is how much it’s going to hurt when this ends.