37. Amara
Chapter thirty-seven
Amara
I ’m about to hurl. My stomach churns, and my head’s spinning like crazy, like we’re still in the air. But we’re not. We landed thirty minutes ago, and now we’re on our way to his mom’s house.
I glance over at Nicholas, seeing him focused on his phone, completely unfazed. I envy how calm he is, how he’s always collected, always in control.
“I can feel you stressing.”
“I’m fine,” I mutter, though my white-knuckled grip on the seat says otherwise.
His dark eyes flick to mine, brow arched as he tilts his head.
I exhale, the tension in my shoulders releasing a bit. “Okay, maybe I’m not fine. But can you blame me? You’re not the one about to walk into a room full of strangers who think this—” I gesture between us “—is real.”
He sets his phone down, turning toward me, his gaze sharp. “It is real. At least for the next month. Remember that.”
The reminder that this thing between us is coming to an end in less than thirty days has my heart pumping in my chest.
“What if she doesn’t like me?” I blurt out before I can stop myself.
His brow furrows, and for a moment, he looks almost confused. “She will.”
I shake my head, exhaling. “I know it’s stupid to think about because it’s not like we’re really together, but…” His jaw ticks as I tuck my hair behind my ear. “I really want her to like me,” I admit, quietly.
He drops his phone, his hand cupping my face, as he gazes into my eyes. My stomach flips. I love his eyes . “It’s not stupid. I thought the same when I met your family. I was worried they’d think I wasn’t good enough for you. I wanted them to love me.”
I suck in a breath. He never told me that. He always seems so confident, so sure of himself. I thought he didn’t care about their approval.
“My mom will love you, Amara.” His lips twitch. “Especially since you’re the first girl I’ve ever brought over.”
My brows shoot up. “Seriously?”
He shrugs. “I’ve never dated much,” he admits. “I had a few girlfriends, but nothing too serious.” His thumb moves gently back and forth against my cheek. “You’re my fiancée . It’s different.”
The way he says fiancée makes it sound like it’s fact, not fiction, and it breaks my heart a little. Because in less than one month, I won’t be his fiancée anymore, I won’t even be his assistant. I’ll be nothing to Nicholas, and he’ll forget all about me.
I nod, my throat tight, and close my eyes, begging myself to keep it together. I’ve known the terms of this deal from the start. I’ve been bracing for this, preparing myself. I need to accept that this won’t be my reality much longer. I won’t wake up next to him. I won’t kiss him. I won’t make love to him.
Leaning back in the seat, I stare out the window, doing my best to keep the tears in check.
When the SUV finally slows to a stop, my breath catches in my throat. Holy shit .
The Blackwood estate is massive. The kind of place that only exists in my unrealistic vision boards. The driveway stretches for what feels like forever, decorated with perfectly manicured hedges, with a fancy fountain sitting in the middle.
And the house itself is just as beautiful. White stone with tall windows, and a front door so big, I’m pretty sure it could fit a car through it.
I turn to Nicholas, my brows shooting up to my hairline. “ This is where you grew up?”
He looks over, a smirk on his face. “You seem surprised.”
“A little. I definitely didn’t expect this .” I motion vaguely toward the entire estate, feeling a little out of place in my jacket, barely thick enough for a cold breeze, and my worn-out boots. “It’s stunning.”
He gives me a half-smile. “You want one like this?”
My eyes widen. “What? That’s crazy.”
“It’s just a house. Say the word and it’s yours.”
Just a house . I shake my head, not knowing how to respond. My home was cramped, the walls were too thin, and we were lucky if the kitchen sink didn’t leak. “I’m good. You’ve given me more than enough.”
Nicholas opens the car door and steps out, offering me his hand. It’s become second nature, and I can’t help but wonder what I’ll do when it’s no longer there. The cold hits me as soon as I step out of the car, and I instinctively pull my jacket tighter, the chill nipping at my skin as we make our way toward the front door.
We’re halfway down the driveway when the door swings open, and out steps a woman.
Eleanor Blackwood is everything I expected Nicholas’s mom to be. Tall, effortlessly elegant, with blonde hair pulled into a perfect bun that looks like it could never have a single hair out of place.
“Nicholas,” she greets her son, her smile widening as she spots him. “You’re here.”
He smirks at her, leaning in to give her a hug. “Good to see you, mom.”
“And you must be Amara,” she says, her smile growing as her eyes move over me. She shakes her head. “You’re even more beautiful than the pictures I’ve seen.”
I offer her a warm smile, my hand tightening in Nicholas’s. “Thank you.”
“I’ve heard so much about you,” Eleanor continues, smiling at me with a warmth that almost makes me forget how out of place I feel here. “It’s wonderful to finally meet the woman who’s captured my son’s heart.”
“I, uh—It’s great to meet you too,” I stumble over the words, letting out a nervous laugh.
Eleanor’s smile widens, but before she can say anything else, a voice cuts through the air.
“Well, well, well. The infamous fiancée.”
I freeze, and Nicholas stiffens beside me, his body going rigid as he slips his hand to the small of my back.
I follow his gaze to the man now standing in the doorway. Alexander Blackwood.
He’s everything Nicholas isn’t. Sharp angles where Nicholas is smooth, relaxed where Nicholas is controlled, and a cockiness radiating from him that sets me on edge.
“What are you doing here?” Nicholas asks him, his voice sharp.
Alexander grins, and lifts his glass to his lips, taking a slow sip as if he’s enjoying the moment a little too much. “When I heard you were bringing your fiancée, I thought I should see for myself.”
He takes a step forward, his gaze flicking over me like he’s sizing me up. There’s nothing overtly rude about it, but the way his eyes linger makes me want to squirm.
Before I can even react, he takes my hand, pressing a kiss to my knuckles.
“Alexander Blackwood. A pleasure to meet you, Amara.”
I pull my hand back a second later. “Nice to meet you, too,” I reply, pressing my lips together in a smile.
“That’s enough,” Nicholas snaps.
The shift in his tone catches me off guard, and I glance up at him, my eyes widening.
Alexander’s smirk doesn’t even falter. If anything, it widens. “Don’t be so territorial, little brother. I’m just being polite.”
I shift on my feet, unsure of what to do, as the tension from whatever history they share hangs in the air, thick and ready to snap at any moment.
“Okay, boys. Shall we go inside?” Eleanor suggests, trying to defuse the tension between them.
Alexander smirks, his hand outstretched. “Come on in, little brother.” I glance back at Nicholas, catching the tightness in his jaw.
The inside of the house is just as beautiful as the outside, with high ceilings, marble floors, and a sweeping staircase that leads to the second floor, the railings sleek and dark against the light colors of the foyer, with a long crystal chandelier hanging in the middle. The walls are filled with abstract art, paintings and sculptures I can’t even begin to name, and a grand piano tucked in the corner.
Eleanor leads us through the house, showing off room after room as we make our way toward the living room, where the fire crackles in a huge brick fireplace.
“So, tell me about the wedding.” Eleanor grins, her eyes sparkling with excitement as we finally sit down on her plush white couch. “Have you guys decided on a date yet? What’s the guest list look like?” She gasps. “Have you picked out a dress?”
I glance at Nicholas, anxiety twisting in my stomach. We haven’t planned a single thing because… this isn’t real. There won’t be a wedding. I won’t stand at the aisle, gazing into Nicholas’ eyes as I say I do .
But before I can answer, Nicholas speaks up, his arm wrapping around my waist and pulling me a little closer to him.
“We’re still in the early stages of planning. But we want something small,” he begins, his arm curling around my waist. “Just close family and a few friends. In the fall, with the leaves falling and the warm breeze, crisp air. And of course there will be ducks.”
Ducks ?
Oh my god. He’s describing the exact wedding I’ve always dreamed of; the intimate gathering I told him about months ago.
My brows furrow in confusion as I glance up at him, my heart thudding as I wait for an explanation, but Nicholas glances down at me with a smile. Right . Of course. He’s simply pretending we’ll have a future together. I manage a tight smile as I swallow back the rising ache.
Eleanor’s expression softens, her eyes glistening. “Your father would have loved to see that,” she adds. “He would have been so proud of you, Nicholas.”
Nicholas's hand flexes around my waist as his shoulders drop. I can only imagine how much that must have meant to him.
But then, Alexander’s voice cuts through the moment as he lets out a scoff. “Dad coddled you too much,” he says, shaking his head as he leans back in his chair.
I glance at Nicholas, watching the tension tighten in his jaw. “He gave me what he thought I deserved,” Nicholas replies, his tone colder than I’ve ever heard it. “I worked beside him day by day. You, however, did whatever you wanted, whenever you wanted.”
“Boys,” Eleanor interjects, trying to diffuse the brewing tension. “Let’s not do this now. We have company.”
Alexander rolls his eyes. “You always think you’re the one who worked the hardest. Always the golden boy, huh?” Alexander slaps his hand down on the table, the force making me jump. “I deserve that position.”
Nicholas stands up suddenly. “You deserve nothing,” he snaps. “You’re lucky I even gave you the position in L.A. Without me, you would have been on your own. I gave you a lifeline, and you’ve done nothing but disrespect me.”
There’s a beat of silence where neither of them says anything, but I can see the fury in their eyes.
Finally, Nicholas glances at his mother, his expression softening a little. “Excuse me, Mom. I’d like to show Amara upstairs.”
Eleanor gives a small nod, her smile apologetic. “Of course, darling.”
Nicholas takes my hand as we make our way to the stairs, his grip tightening. Once we reach the top, he pushes open a door and steps into what I assume is his childhood bedroom.
I follow him inside, my eyes widening when I glance around. His room is different than I expected. Expensive, sure, but there’s something oddly comforting about it. A few soccer jerseys hang on the walls, trophies are lined up neatly on a shelf, and posters cover every inch of space above his bed.
I wander over to the shelf, running my fingers lightly over a framed photo of a younger Nicholas, grinning with a group of boys, all wearing the same soccer jersey.
“I didn’t know you played soccer,” I say, trying to fill the silence.
Nicholas lets out a sigh, rubbing the back of his neck as he steps closer, his eyes following mine. “I told you,” he says quietly. “You don’t really know me.”
I turn to face him, raising an eyebrow. “I know you a little,” I tease, though curiosity bubbles inside me. There’s still so much I don’t know about him, about his past, the person he used to be.
He groans, and then, before I even have a chance to react, his forehead presses against mine. His eyes are dark and unreadable as his pulse thumps against mine.
“If I wasn’t so messed up over my brother…” A rumble erupts in his throat. “I’d bend you over my bed and fuck you.”
My breath catches in my throat as I wrap my arms around his neck, leaning into him. “What’s going on between you two?”
Nicholas pulls back slightly, his jaw tightening as he glances away. He’s silent for a beat, and I brace myself for him to shut me out.
But then he lets out a sigh. “Alexander thinks he deserves the CEO position just because he’s the oldest,” he says, frustration lacing his words. “He’s trying to sabotage everything, trying to make the board think I’m not fit to run Blackwood Hotels. He wants it all, and he’s willing to tear me down to get it.”
My stomach sinks at the thought. “That won’t happen,” I tell him with certainty. “Everyone knows how hard you work.”
Nicholas looks at me, the hardness in his expression softening just a little. Without saying anything, he steps closer, removes one of my hands from around his neck, and kisses the back of it. It’s so soft, so unexpectedly gentle, it catches me off guard. Slowly, his lips move up my arm, inch by inch, kissing my skin before they finally find mine.
My heart beats in double time as I melt into his kiss, a soft moan leaving my lips. He pulls back just enough to speak. “God, I’m so happy you’re here with me.”
His words hit me in the chest. “Me too,” I whisper as he kisses me again.
He pulls away a few seconds later, his hands lingering on my waist. “I’ll be right back.”
I nod, and he turns to leave the room. My gaze returns to his jerseys, and I can’t help but smile at the young, carefree version of him frozen in time in the pictures.
“My brother left you alone?”
I gasp, turning to find Alexander leaning against the door, shaking his head with a smirk. His eyes skim me from head to toe, his gaze lingering in a way that makes my stomach churn. “He should know better than that.”
I’ve heard of Alexander, talked to him plenty since he always calls the office, but being in the same room with him is a different story. My stomach churns as he lazily swirls his drink, his eyes locked on me with a look I can’t quite decipher.
“Nicholas will be right back. He just went to get something.”
He hums, nodding as he pushes off the doorframe, walking toward me. “So, what’s it like being engaged to my brother?”
“It’s… nice,” I reply, the uncertainty creeping into my voice. I don’t even know how to answer him, especially with the way he’s looking at me.
“Nice,” he repeats, his tone dripping with amusement. “That’s quite the endorsement.”
I stiffen, but before I can respond, he leans forward. “You seem too sweet for him, you know.”
“I—”
“He can be…” Alexander pauses, his gaze searching mine as if he’s trying to gauge my reaction. “Intense. Boring. A workaholic. Way too fucking controlling. Are you sure you’re up for that?”
I suck in a breath as he takes a step closer, my hands pressing against Nicholas’s dresser. “I can handle it,” I tell him, narrowing my eyes. “What I can’t handle is you invading my personal space.”
His smirk returns, darker, dangerous. “Feisty. You’ve got my brother wrapped around your little finger, huh? What’s he promised you to go along with this? A raise? A promotion? Or is it just his cock you’re after?” He tilts his head. “Tell me, and I’ll sweeten the deal.”
“I’d rather die than go anywhere near you.”
He laughs, leaning in closer, his fingers grazing my cheek lightly. I turn my head, shuddering at his touch. “You know, if you ever get bored of Nicholas, and change your mind—”
“Alexander.” Nicholas’s voice cuts through the room, and Alexander steps back, slowly… unbothered. Nicholas enters the room, setting a bottle of white wine and two glasses on the dresser. “Get the fuck away from her.”
“Relax.” Alexander raises his hands, a smirk on his face. “I was just getting to know her.”
Nicholas doesn’t respond, his eyes sliding to mine. The muscles in his jaw ticks as he stares at me. “Amara, come with me.”
He doesn’t give me a chance to respond before he’s guiding me out of the room, his touch on my back heavy.
Once we’re in the hallway, I finally gather enough courage to speak. “How much did you see?”
“Enough,” he says, his voice cold and clipped.
A breath catches in my chest. “Why didn’t you say something?”
Nicholas stops in his tracks and turns to me, his gaze locking with mine. “I wanted to see how you’d handle it.”
My eyebrows lift in disbelief. “You think I would take him up on his offer?” Is he out of his mind? Does he really think I’d want his brother when I’m madly in love with him?
He doesn’t respond immediately, but his eyes soften just a little. “It wouldn’t be the first time.”
I shake my head. “I would never. You know that, right?”
He finally relaxes, his hands slipping around my neck, pulling me closer. “I know.” He leans in, his breath warm against my lips. “Why don’t you go downstairs? My mom keeps grilling me about you.”
I let out a small laugh. “Really?”
He nods. “I fear she might like you more than me.”
I nudge his chest, shaking my head. “That’s not true.”
Nicholas chuckles, leaning in to press a soft kiss to my forehead, his thumb gently tracing my jaw. “I’ll be down soon. I promise. I’ve just got to take care of something first.”