Chapter Forty-Four - Michaela
Chapter Forty-Four
MICHAELA
BUTTERFLIES ERUPTED IN MY stomach the second the cab stopped in front of SoHo House Chicago, and they have only gotten more irritated as the elevator doors finally draw open. My feet drag, my body trying to avoid the conversation awaiting me on the other side of the door at the end of the hall. She’s going to have questions, a lot of them. I don’t have the answers — I’m still trying to process it myself. So much has happened in the last two weeks.
I contemplate turning and running when I reach the door, but I can’t. I have to do this. A moment after I knock, the door swings open to reveal Nina with the phone pressed to her ear, “Mic! What are you doing here?”
I chew on the corner of my bottom lip, “I need to talk to you.”
Her smile falters slightly recognizing my tone of voice. “Fossette,” Nina says into the phone before relaying some message in Italian alongside my name. She retreats into the room to grab her blazer from the arm of the couch. “Sì, sì, sì,” she agrees after a moment, “ti amo.” She hangs up and turns to me. “I was about to grab some dinner. You hungry?”
“Nin, I—”
“I have a feeling this conversation is going to call for carbs and wine. Am I wrong?” I swear she can see right through me. When I don’t respond, she nods. “Thought so.”
As the waitress walks away, the pit reforms in my stomach. It feels like deja vu sitting across from Nina, the quirk of her eyebrow beckons me to start the conversation, but I suddenly feel nauseous. I hate the thought of disappointing her more than I already have. Isn’t that why I’m here? To avoid doing just that. “I’m leaving the company,” it comes out as a whisper. I almost don’t hear myself, but I know she does from her sigh.
She swirls the red liquid in her glass. “I wanted to talk to you about that.”
“You decided to go ahead and fire me?”
Nina laughs, “No. No, not firing you. Listen, I love having you work on designs, but Mic, I know you’re not happy. You did a great job with Finn; the change of pace was everything you needed to get back on your feet. I think you’d be happy working full-time at Villa Inc. That’s what Kai and I wanted to discuss in the meeting you postponed. We wanted to offer you a consulting or developmental team position.”
“No.”
Nina’s head tilts ever so slightly like she’s trying to make sure she heard right. “No?”
“I’m leaving, as in everything…DV Designs…Villa Incorporated…New York.”
“You’re leaving New York.” She repeats my statement and her eyes narrow slightly tossing the idea around her mind. “And where are you going?”
The words get stuck in my throat, but I force it out. “Washington.”
Nina takes a long sip of her wine, “What’s in Washington?”
“Nina—”
“Michaela. What’s in Washington?” She annunciates each word perfectly.
“David,” I whisper and half expect her to react, but she doesn’t. Her fingers trace the rim of the glass as she lets his name sink in.
“Michaela…”
“He’s my husband, Nina. I need to—”
“You were in love with Finn not even two weeks ago,” Nina says and I roll my eyes.
“I wasn’t in love with him.”
“We’ll pretend that’s true,” she scoffs. “You expect me to believe you’re happily going back to David because of a stupid misunderstanding with Finn? That doesn’t make sense!”
“Y’all keep telling me I need to grow up, right?” Everyone, including Nina, has been telling me I need to grow up. Consistently late to work? Grow up. Hiding things from everyone about my personal life? Grow up. Sneaking around with my brother’s best friend? Grow up. Everything led back to one thing… I needed to grow up. Running into David seemed like fate working its magic when I was trying to decide what growing up looked like. “That’s what I’m doing. For better or worse, Nina — that’s what David and I promised each other, and the adult thing would be to honor that. This thing with Finn has been—”
“He left you, Michaela!” There’s a small silence after her outburst, and Nina takes it to recenter herself. She takes a deep breath and continues in a quieter tone, “David left you, and he’s been a total dick since. Now he wants to come crawling back, and for what? What is he getting out of this?”
“It’s not like that, he…”
“No?”
“…missed me. Being apart made him realize he was wrong.”
Nina scoffs. “And somehow, you’re back in the same impossible situation as before, except this time, you’re going to do whatever he wants — example, moving to Washington.”
“Being there is the only way this is going to work.”
“Oh, stronzata!” I swear her entire body goes into the eye roll. “That’s bullshit, Michaela, and you know it. You’ve worked your ass off to get where you are. Even if you leave the company, you could get a job anywhere.”
“That includes Washington.”
“Are you going to get a job in Washington?” The question hangs between us. “All it takes is one phone call, and you’ll have a job tomorrow.”
“I don’t need you to do that.”
“But I would.” Nina touches my hand gently. “Michaela, what are you going to do in Washington?”
“I don’t know yet, but I’ll figure something out.”
Nina scoffs and licks her lips. “Why do you have to make all the sacrifices for this relationship to work?”
“He’s making sacrifices, too.”
“Name one.”
My fingers instinctively reach for the metal heart dangling from my neck. What is he sacrificing? I can’t think of one thing. I’m selling the condo. Leaving my job. Leaving my friends. Packing up everything and moving to D.C. I’m doing all of it with the knowledge that my life is about to do a complete one-eighty because that’s what he wants. What he’s always wanted. If this marriage is going to work, Washington is where I have to be. Short term pain for long-term gain. Once the dust settles, I’ll start looking for a job, there has to be something out there that I can do.
“Exactly.” Nina reaches for her phone. I hadn’t even realized it had been vibrating between us. She checks the name and contemplates answering before double-clicking the side button setting it upside down. “Look, if you want to throw away everything you’ve worked for to be with someone ready to throw you away like a doll he was tired of playing with, be my guest. Don’t expect the rest of us to be happy about it.”
“I can’t just walk away, Nina.”
“Two weeks ago, you were on the road to divorce. You were dating Finn. Finn Sheffield . A man who doesn’t open up to anyone. Who helped you grow out of the rut you’ve been stuck in. Now, you want me to believe you’re going to live happily ever after with the man who put you there? Who has been treating you like shit for the last five months! Over a fucking engagement ring and selling your condo.”
“He’s my husband,” I sigh unable to look her in the eye. “You should understand what that means.”
She swirls the red liquid in her glass, “David is no better than Brina.”
“Oh, please. That’s a little unfair, don’t you think?” It was unfair. David didn’t cheat on me. He didn’t date any of my exes. He wasn’t a terrible person, he just liked things a certain way. There’s nothing wrong with that. Nina likes things a certain way, too.
“Did you know he was dating someone else, too? Someone named Karina Miller.”
Of course, he’d run back to her. Karina was his high school sweetheart, the girl he always went back to when things didn’t work out with any of his other girlfriends. She’s the girl his mother wanted him to marry. It doesn’t surprise me he’d run back to her. I pinch the bridge of my nose, “Nina, for the love of God, Please tell me you didn’t have him investigated.”
“Something seemed off.” Nina shrugs nonchalantly. Of course, she doesn’t see an issue with it. She never does. “Michaela, they’ve been together practically since the day the divorce was filed. Don’t you find it a little weird he was dating someone else until he asked you to get back together?”
Yes.
“No.”
Nina shakes her head, “You’re smarter than that, Mic.
“Nin, I—”
“Michaela—”
“You’re not listening to me! Nina, it doesn’t matter what you say, I’m doing this. I’m giving this another shot. I owe it to my marriage, to David, to me.”
“You’re running away. You’re scared of what you had with Finn, so you’re choosing to—”
“Nina! Damnit!” I interrupt her, and it comes out harsher than I mean it to, but fuck…she’s not listening to me. Taking a deep breath, I massage my temples an ache beginning to form between my eyes. “I love you. I appreciate everything you have done for me, but for the sake of our friendship, you have to let me do this.” I sigh and meet her unwavering stare as she swirls the glass on the table between us. “You have always been there for me, making sure I don’t fall on my ass, protecting me. You gotta let me make my own decisions or mistakes. Whatever this is, you have to let me do this. I need to prove to myself, to you, to everyone, that I can be grown up.”
She starts to say more, but stops and downs the rest of the wine her glass in one sip. “Fine,” she says. “If this is what you really—”
“It is.”
“Then I support you, regardless if I agree or not.” Nina stands from her seat and goes to the bar mumbling something along the lines of needing another drink.
“I need this to stay between us,” I say stepping through the front door of SoHo House. “I don’t want this getting around, not yet. And, if you tell Nick, he’s going to tell Josh, and Josh is going to tell—”
“I thought you were going to be to be an adult about this,” Nina says a few steps behind me. When I turn around, the knot in my stomach lessens noticing the smirk on her lips. She’s teasing me.
“What will you tell Nick when he asks why I showed up in Chicago?”
“That you missed me, duh.”
“I have missed you.” It’s true. I do miss her. I didn’t realize how much until recently. Nina and I have been friends for ten years, and before the move, we were together almost every day. We have barely seen each other since I moved to New York, and when we do, it’s usually work-related. Sure, we grab dinner afterward, but it hasn’t been the same.
“At least you’ll be a little closer in Washington.” A black SUV pulls up to the curb. I’m grateful she was loaning me her car for the trip back to the airport. I was not looking forward to the cab bill out of downtown. Her features are more serious when she turns back to me, “I promise I won’t say anything, only if you promise to do it as soon as the wedding is over.”
I nod accepting her terms. I couldn’t ask anything more of her. A silence falls between us and that knot forms in my stomach again. “Nin, I’m doing the right thing, right?”
“I can’t answer that for you, Michaela. Only you can decide what’s right for you.”
“But—”
“Are you having second thoughts?”
Yes.
“No,” the lie rolls off my tongue easier than it should. But, isn’t it normal to second guess a decision like this? To be afraid of the unknown.
“Then, I’d say you’re doing the right thing.” She greets the driver before turning back to me. “Everyone is going to have something to say about this, Michaela,” she warns. “Regardless of what anyone thinks, you have to do what is best for you.”
“And do the grown-up thing at the same time.”
“The grown-up thing,” she shakes her head with a soft smile. “Oh, Mic. I love you, even when you get on my last nerve.”
“I love you too, Nin.”
“Good, then don’t bring David to my wedding.”
I laugh, “Wasn’t even an option.”