Chapter 12
CHAPTER
TWELVE
LINC
We walk silently along the shoreline. It’s more than a mile back to the bungalow, but when I suggest I call the hotel to have somebody pick us up, Tessa shakes her head.
And that’s okay with me. It’s a beautiful evening and we’ve both taken our shoes off to walk on the sand. The moon is shining down on us, the water is gently lapping against our bare feet, and there’s a breeze lifting the end of Tessa’s hair, making it dance against her skin.
I’m still thinking about what she said. No sex in two years. What kind of fucking idiot was her husband to let her go?
Yes, she can be challenging. But in the kind of way that makes me want to work harder. Do better.
If we were living in medieval times, I’d want to prove myself to her so she’d give me her damn handkerchief.
At some point during our walk, she’s let me take her hand. And it feels like a win. Her palm is flat against mine, our fingers intertwined .
I like it more than I fucking should. It’s just holding hands for fuck’s sake.
“Carmichael,” I say, because I’ve noticed she relaxes more when I call her that.
“Yes?”
“How about kissing? Have you kissed anyone in two years?”
“You’re weirdly fixated with the two year thing,” she says. “And no. For the record, I haven’t kissed anybody either. Not the way you’re talking about anyway.”
“Is there another way?” I ask.
“I’ve kissed my daughter.”
Oh. Yeah. For a moment there, I forgot she had a kid.
“What about orgasms?” I ask her. She frowns up at me adorably.
“I’m not telling you that.”
“So yes, you’ve had orgasms.”
“Salinger…” It’s a growl and I love it.
“How often do you touch yourself?”
Her cheeks pink up.
“How can you be so fucking together about work and your kid and everything else, yet get embarrassed by orgasms?” I ask her. “They’re just sneezes to the power of eight.”
“What?” She looks at me, trying not to smile.
“Orgasms are like a powerful sneeze. Seriously. I read it somewhere.” I frown, thinking about it. “Though the ones I give are probably more like thirty times a sneeze.”
“Of course,” she says dryly.
I drop my shoes then take hers and let them fall to the sand, too, before taking her face in my hands. I drop my head until our brows are touching and she doesn’t pull away. Her skin is so fucking soft it’s making me even harder.
Her eyelashes flutter and then I start to throb .
Wait. Why are eyelashes making me hard? They’re just tiny hairs. I push the thought away, because right now my brain is between my legs.
“Carmichael,” I murmur. “I’m going to kiss you now. Unless you stop me.”
She doesn’t move. Just looks at me with those big, wide eyes. And I want them to be looking at me as I make her come.
It’s all I can think about. Nobody but her has made her come for two years.
That’s a long fucking time. An eternity. And yes, touching yourself is good. It fills a need. But coming with somebody else?
That’s heaven.
I want to give her that. I want to have it.
She tips her head up almost imperceptibly. But it’s enough for me to feel the warmth of her breath against my lips. Every part of me is tingling. But I resist the urge to close the gap between us.
I want her to do it.
I want her to want me. The same way I want her.
Her breath hitches. Her head tips back a little more.
Damn it, I can’t wait anymore. That’s it. I lower my head until our lips brush against each other.
And I’m lost in her.
And I don’t want to be found.
TESSA
He releases my face as I kiss him back, his hands sliding down my shoulders, fingers feathering my arms, until his palms curl around my waist. His tongue softly slides against mine as he pulls me against him.
And I can feel just how much he’s enjoying this kiss.
I wrap my arms around his neck, and he grunts approvingly against my lips. I can feel the breeze against my back, his hands sliding down to my ass, pulling me even closer.
Until I’m breathless and needy against him.
He’s an expert kisser. Just the way I knew he would be. His fingers knead my skin, his lips plunder mine. And hot blood rushes through me.
Right to my core.
And all I can think about is how much I need this. His touch, his mouth.
To feel the way he wants me.
He slides his hand down my thigh, hitching my skirt up until his fingers are touching my bare skin.
“Fucking hell, Carmichael,” he murmurs. “Where have you been hiding this body?”
I smile against him. “Shut up and kiss me.”
“Wouldn’t you rather do this somewhere more comfortable.” His thumb is rubbing against my outer thigh, making every part of me clench.
“I don’t know…”
“I mean kiss. In private. We’re not going to do anything you don’t want to do.”
My eyes lift until our gazes are locked. And I nod because yes, I want to kiss him again. Preferably horizontally. My body aches to feel the weight of his.
We’re not going to do anything you don’t want to do.
I’m not sure if that’s a threat or a promise.
It takes us ten more minutes to get back to the cottage. Linc carries both our shoes, practically marching us along the beach like we’re in boot camp. Every now and again, he looks at me and smiles .
And my body flutters in response.
When we climb up the steps to our room, I can feel my heart thumping. When we get inside, I don’t know what’s going to happen.
Liar. You know exactly what you’re doing.
“You still with me?” Linc asks as he unlocks the door. He’s still holding my hand. I don’t know if it’s because he suspects I might run again, or if he’s trying to reassure me.
Maybe both. And I get it. It’s been more than a decade since I kissed somebody new. And I’m scared. I really am. If I stop this now, I know he’ll understand. Or at least I hope he will.
But I don’t want to stop it. I’m too fired up. So I try to push the fear away, though I’m not as successful as I’d hoped.
“I think so.”
He drops our shoes, pulls me inside, and closes the door behind me, turning around so I’m sandwiched between his body and the wall.
“That’s not good enough,” he murmurs. “I need a yes, Carmichael.”
“Are you going to call me Carmichael when you’re inside of me?” I ask him. The words surprise me as much as they shock him. Did I really say that?
Yes. Apparently I did.
“Am I going to be inside of you?” His voice is low as he looks at me.
“I think so.”
“Then why do you look so scared?” He sounds genuinely concerned.
“I’m not scared I’m just… you know.”
“I don’t know. I need you to say things. Vocalize them. I don’t want to mess this up. So you’re going to have to tell me.”
I take a deep breath. “Can we see where this goes?” I ask.
“Yes, we can do that.” He dips his head until his lips are touching my neck, just where it curves into my shoulder. “Is this okay?” he murmurs against me.
“Yes,” I breathe.
He kisses his way up, finding the sensitive spot just beneath my ear.
I start to giggle.
His lips curl against my skin. “Are you ticklish?”
“A little.”
“Where?” He runs his fingers down my side. I don’t laugh this time. “Not here,” he says.
“Nope.” I like the sensation though. Every time he touches me it’s like he’s trying to learn the lines of my body. How to make me feel good.
“I’m just going to have to kiss you all over then,” he says, standing up until he’s towering over me again. I look up into his eyes and feel a little giddy at the intensity in them.
I have to grab onto his arms to steady myself.
And yes, I squeeze them a little. Because he has the best biceps. I never knew that arm muscles could be attractive on a man but every time I see Linc in short sleeves I feel like he’s melting my insides.
His mouth captures mine again, and I sigh against his lips. Why have I waited so long to kiss somebody?
Because you didn’t want to kiss anyone until Linc.
A little danger alert sounds inside of me but I ignore it.
I’ve spent the last two years doing everything by the book. Being the good parent while Jared went off for a rerun of his youth. And I don’t regret it. I don’t regret anything I’ve done for Zoe.
But she’s not here. This won’t hurt her.
“Stop overthinking,” Linc murmurs, sliding his hand down my back. His palm cups my behind and squeezes causing me to arch into him.
“I’m not. ”
“Yes you are. You went all stiff on me.” His gaze softens. “And I believe that’s my job.”
I giggle again, because it’s impossible not to when he’s around. Despite the nagging deep inside me, I know that he’s not going to hurt me. Linc likes pleasing people.
It’s his superpower.
And right now I’m the beast in his sights.
His lips are soft, barely there as he brushes them against mine again. His hand moves up, his thumb gentle as he strokes it against the underside of my breast, before the pad presses against my nipple.
The sensation is so strong I jump in his arms.
“What was that?” he asks.
“I just… nobody’s touched me there in a while.”
He squeezes his eyes shut, looking almost pained. “Nobody’s touched you anywhere in a while,” he says as though reminding himself of the fact. “Fuck.”
“Is that a problem?” I ask him.
“Only for my dick. It’s kind of enticing, you know?”
My brows dip. “What do you mean?”
“The thought of touching you for the first time. Of reminding you how pleasurable this can be.” His lip quirks up. “With another person.”
“What are you planning to do? Give me a presentation?” I tease. “The full PowerPoint experience.”
He starts to laugh. It’s like he realizes I need a moment to catch my breath. “I’ll start with my health status. Clean at my last checkup. You?”
I lift a brow.
“Okay, so you’re clean, too.”
“I mean, it’s been two years. And of course I had all the tests after Jared…” I trail off. What’s the protocol for mentioning your ex-husband to the guy you are pretty much throwing yourself at ?
“Jared’s a fuck up. And he’s not going to be mentioned in this room again, okay?”
Ooh, he actually looks annoyed. That’s interesting.
“Works for me.” I nod solemnly.
“Good.” He smiles at me. “Want to take a bath with me, Carmichael?”
“I thought you said you were clean,” I say and he rolls his eyes at me.
“I am. But I want to see you naked and I figure wet and naked is even better.”
And that’s when I realize, that he’s going to see everything. The stretch marks on my stomach. The ones on my breasts. I’m pretty sure every muscle in my body tightens, and not with pleasure.
Yes, he’s seen me in a bikini. And yeah, I’m kind of average for my age. But holy schmoly, I’m probably the oldest woman he’s ever been with.
“Maybe we should just go to bed,” I say, my voice small.
He’s silent for a moment. I feel his gaze on my face, but I can’t bring myself to look at him.
“We don’t have to do anything, you know that, right?” he asks.
“I know.” I nod. “I just…”
“What?” There’s a frown in his voice.
“I’m scared.” There, I’ve said it. He wanted me to say how I feel. But I don’t feel any better. I feel like an idiot, because he’s almost certainly going to laugh at me.
But miracle of miracles he doesn’t. Instead, he looks almost sad when I finally gather the nerve to glance at him.
“What the fuck did he do to you?” he asks.
“What do you mean?”
“The man who won’t be mentioned,” he continues, softly stroking my hair. It feels good. I close my eyes and let the sensation wash over me. “I don’t know what he did to you to make you feel like you’re not the most beautiful woman on this fucking island, but you need to know you are, Carmichael. You’re gorgeous and you should know it.”
I look up at him, and there are tears in my eyes. “I’m not twenty-five.”
“Thank fuck. Because I’m not either.”
Oh god, this is stupid. I should be under him right now. In the throes of passion. But instead a tear begins running down my cheek.
“Oh fuck.” He brushes his thumb against my skin, scooping the tear away. “Don’t let him ruin this for you. Hasn’t he done enough?”
“I’m sorry. I…”
“You don’t need to be sorry. You don’t ever need to be sorry.” His voice is soothing. “I just hate that he’s made you feel this way.”
“Have you ever made a woman feel this way?” I ask him.
“I try not to,” he says, honesty radiating from him. “My mom, when I was younger. She watched my dad leave her for somebody else. It was hard.”
My stomach tightens. “I’m sorry.”
“I hated seeing her go through that. Promised myself I’d never do it to anybody else.”
I let out a ragged breath. How did I not know this about Linc? How did I not realize just how sweet he can be?
“I’ve had a few longer term relationships,” he tells me. “But we parted amicably.”
“And shorter term ones?”
“I always make sure we both know what we’re getting into.”
I blink. “So what is this?” I ask him.
His lip curls up into a smile. “What do you want it to be?”
“I don’t know.” I frown. “I just… I wanted this. Want you.”
“I want you, too.” His voice is still so soft it’s like a feather. “ But not if it makes you cry. I’m not into sleeping with weeping women.”
That makes me laugh and he smiles. “Let’s take the pressure off this. I’ll pour us a drink, you go run the bath. Get in and get relaxed, then call me when you’re ready.”
“What if I’m never ready?” I ask, more to myself than him.
His eyes catch mine. “No pressure, Carmichael. I’ll still hug you all night no matter what.”