Chapter 18
CHAPTER
EIGHTEEN
TESSA
“So is everybody clear on what we need to do?” I ask, looking around the team. We’re all seated around the large oak table in the boardroom of Hampshire PR. There are donuts and coffee and everybody’s in a good mood because we’ve received the official notification that the Exuma contract has been signed by all parties. Which is great, but I need them to concentrate now because winning the contract was easy compared to the work ahead of us.
“Of course,” Gina murmurs, smiling at me. “And I’ll send out a reminder to everybody in an email. With a tracker they need to update daily.”
“Thank you.” I give her a smile because she’s such a life saver. “And remember that drinks are on the business this Friday night.” Roman has already given me the go-ahead to put money behind the bar. I won’t be going but Gina will arrange it, then type up the invoices and make sure everything’s done properly.
I go to shut down my laptop, and suddenly everybody stops talking. The sudden hush makes me frown, and when I look up Linc is standing in the doorway, his eyes on me.
He doesn’t look happy. Which is good, because I don’t need anybody in this room knowing what happened while we were away. He tried to call me a few times over the weekend but with my newfound decision to move on I ignored them all.
Everybody starts to crowd around Linc, the conversation starting up again. But he ignores them, opting to walk over to me.
“Can I have a word, please?” he says.
There’s an edge to his tone that sends a shiver down my spine. “I’m busy,” I tell him, because I’m a coward at heart.
“You’ve just finished a meeting,” he says, his gaze still on my face. “I heard you.”
“You were waiting outside?” I frown.
“I would hate to interrupt you,” he says. And I know in my heart he’s talking about all those ignored calls. And messages. Okay, so there were more than a few. But I’m also kind of annoyed because he doesn’t get to call me like all is fine after radio silence for over a week.
“Give me a minute,” I say. “I need to go to the ladies’ room. I’ll come to your office.”
“Oh no.” He shakes his head. “I’ll come to yours.”
“Yours is more private.” Whatever he wants to say to me, I don’t want my staff overhearing.
“And if I go to mine, you won’t come. So I’ll be waiting for you in your office.”
“Fine.” I sigh. “Whatever.”
I turn to the left, heading for the ladies’ room, while he turns to the right, presumably heading straight for my office. I should have told him to take my laptop, because I’m going to have to put it on the bathroom counter.
Making a note to clean it thoroughly with one of those handy wipes that Gina keeps in her drawer, I set it down and stare at my reflection in the mirror, wanting to silently scream.
Because everything about him feels electric. Like he’s lighting me up after being dark for so long.
He ignored you for days, I remind myself. And that’s all I need to get calm again.
I won’t go through this again. I won’t let myself be second best. I’m way too old to be playing games, even if they do make my blood heat up. I square my shoulders and check my makeup, adding a little more lipstick. Then I wipe it off because I don’t want him to think I put it on for him.
He isn’t in my office when I get back. He’s sitting on the corner of Gina’s desk, and they’re both laughing at something.
“Go on in,” I say to Linc, nodding at my office door. “I’ll be in there in a minute.”
He winks at Gina and she grins back.
“Et tu, Brutus,” I mutter to her.
“Do you mean Judas?” she asks, still smiling as though I just said the funniest quip ever. And she knows exactly what I mean.
“No. I mean the one who stabbed Julius Caesar in the back.”
She tips her head to look at me, still smiling.
“It doesn’t matter. Can I borrow a wipe please? Actually, make that two.” Because I’ll wipe down anything Linc touches when he leaves. I don’t know where he’s been. Meow, I am testy today.
Gina whips out two little packets and passes them to me. “Thank you,” I tell her, then I walk into my office, taking a deep breath.
“Salinger,” I murmur, carrying my laptop over to my desk. I may as well clean it while he talks to me. It’ll give me something to do with my hands. But before I can put it down, he’s taking it from me .
“I wouldn’t do that…” I say and then I trail off. If he wants germs from the bathroom all over him, then have at it.
He opens it up and looks at the screen. “Hmm.”
“What are you doing?” I ask him.
“Just checking to see if it’s working. I wasn’t sure if you had a problem with all your devices or just your phone.”
“Haha.” I take it from him. “And by the way, that was sitting on the counter in the ladies’ bathroom a minute ago. You may want to wash your hands.”
He rolls his eyes at me. “My face was between your thighs last week and I didn’t wash that either.”
My eyes widen. “Lincoln.” I glance at the door. It’s shut, thank god, but I wouldn’t put it past my team to be listening with a glass held up to the door.
“So I’m Lincoln now,” he says. “Not Salinger. Not Linc.”
“Can we stop this?” I ask him, feeling pained. “You’re the one who walked away and didn’t call me. So don’t be an ass about it.”
“I called you all weekend.”
“After a week of nothing,” I point out.
“I’m sorry,” he says. “I should have called you earlier. But I’m trying to make up for it. And you didn’t call me either,” he says and I roll my eyes.
“I’ve been busy,” I tell him. He raises a brow to let me know he isn’t buying it. “Okay,” I continue. “I just don’t think there’s anything left for us to say to each other.”
“What the hell does that mean?” He’s leaning on my desk. Something else I’m going to have to clean. “Didn’t we have the best time in Exuma? And now you’re like this.” He waves his hands at me. “What’s wrong with you?”
“You haven’t exactly been lonely since you left the island,” I counter. “I saw the photograph.”
He frowns. “What photograph?”
“The one of you and your friend in Paris. ”
He blinks, not understanding. And now I’m the one feeling annoyed. With myself mostly, for caring.
“It doesn’t matter anyway,” I say. “I think we can both agree that what happened in Exuma stays there, right?”
“You know that’s Vegas, right?”
I look at him. “And you were in Vegas for the weekend.” Not that I was stalking him. I know because he told me about his brother’s bachelor party.
“Yes. And for the record, nothing happened there either.” He lifts a brow. “Apart from the strippers that I didn’t order and sent away.”
“You were with strippers?” My voice raises. And he immediately clamps his hand over my mouth to stop the office from hearing me.
I pull it away, grimacing. “Your hand is covered in germs.”
“So’s yours,” he points out. “And when did you get to be such a germophobe?”
I let out a long breath. “This is stupid. Can’t we just pretend that Exuma never happened?”
Linc blinks. “Is that what you want?”
My chest feels so tight it hurts. “I just don’t want to deal with drama,” I tell him. “I have so much going on in my life right now. The last few years have been full of it.”
“You think I bring drama?” he asks.
“Yes. And I’m too old for it. I’m not a starry eyed kid. I’ve got a child. A good job. A home that looks like it’s a bomb site. I don’t need this, too.”
His brows pinch as he listens to me. “I don’t understand what you’re saying.”
I don’t either. Not really. “I’m saying that Exuma was…” I sigh. “It was everything. And I’m so grateful for all you did for me. You made me feel special. Made me feel alive.” I give him a watery smile and his jaw tightens. “But you’re a playboy. Yo unger than me. And I have Zoe to think of. I need my life to be stable, secure. Drama free.”
“Are you breaking this off?” he asks, his voice thick.
“There’s nothing to break off,” I breathe. “We’re not an item. We’re just two people that had sex.” Mind blowingly delicious sex.
His expression changes. He looks hurt and I hate it. But I made myself a promise that I’d always be honest. After Jared’s lies, it’s the one thing I can do.
No matter how much it hurts.
He lets out a long breath. “If that’s what you really want.”
“Thank you,” I whisper again. “We’ll always have Exuma, won’t we?”
He blinks, those thick lashes of his sweeping down. “Don’t quote fucking Casablanca to me, Carmichael,” he growls, turning his back to me.
“Linc…” I call out, but he’s already halfway out of the door. He slams it behind him and I take a deep breath.
I should feel better but I don’t. I’ve done nothing but think about this all weekend, and I know it’s for the best. So why does it feel like I’ve just stabbed a knife in my own heart?
The knife gets twisted even harder the following week when a courier arrives at the office with a manilla envelope containing four tickets to the Linebackers concert. I haven’t heard from Linc at all. There’s been no sign of him in the office and I don’t ask anybody where he is.
It doesn’t stop me from feeling sick when I see four all access passes, along with a printout of what time we need to arrive and directions to the stage door at the arena.
“Oh my God,” Zoe squeals when I arrive home and show her the tickets and passes. Her face is pink with excitement. “How many are there? ”
“Four. You can bring two friends. I just have to get them the details before hand.” I received an email from somebody who works with the band earlier. I’m guessing Linc passed on my email.
He didn’t have to do this. He could have be churlish and walked away with the tickets after the way things ended.
But he didn’t. And he’s made Zoe so happy. I need to thank him somehow.
“So they can run a security check, I bet,” Zoe says. “I can’t believe I’m going to meet them. Do you think they’ll let us take pictures?”
“I’m pretty sure that’s part of the meet and greet,” I tell her. I’m so happy she’s happy, I really am. But I haven’t stopped feeling sick since Linc walked out of the office. And it had nothing to do with all the germs I had to clean up.
And everything to do with the fact that I feel like a bitch.
“Can I go and tell my friends about these?” Zoe asks, picking up the tickets again.
“Of course. Who are you inviting?” I ask, only mildly interested because I’ll be the one responsible for them.
“I don’t know yet,” she admits. “I’m going to let them audition for them. If they want to come meet the band they’ll have to impress me first.”
“Zoe,” I say, a warning tone in my voice. “That’s not a nice way to treat your friends.”
“I’m joking.” She rolls her eyes as she stands up and blows me a kiss. “I’d never treat my friends like that.”
No, she wouldn’t. But I did. I think I’m getting a headache.
LIN C
“Why are we getting drunk again?” Brooks asks me as the server comes over and pours another glass of G. Scott Carter’s finest whiskey into our glasses. I motion at her to leave the bottle.
Because I want to sink myself into oblivion tonight. I’ve spent another week in Europe – London and Rome this time, sorting things out for Roman. Staring at my phone and wanting to call her. I saw her today for the first time since our argument in her office. She was in a meeting and I could see her through the glass windows of the boardroom.
She didn’t see me.
“Because it’s been a long day,” I sigh. “And I don’t want to go home alone.”
“As flattered as I am,” Brooks says, lifting his glass. “You’ll still be going home alone. Or at least not with me.” He looks around the club. Even though it’s early in the evening, it’s full of Manhattan’s finest. Rich men, beautiful women.
And us.
There’s a blonde in the corner who keeps looking over at me. Our gazes catch as I down my glass of whiskey, letting the liquid burn my throat.
I pull my eyes away. I’m not fucking interested.
And isn’t that one for the books?
“So Vegas went well,” Brooks says, as I pour myself another glass.
“Uh uh.”
“Apart from the escorts.” He grins.
I finish up my glass of whiskey and put it on the table, saying nothing.
“Well this is scintillating conversation,” Brooks mutters, crossing his legs. “Why don’t you go hit up that killer blonde? She can’t take her eyes off you. Then I can go home and get some sleep.”
“You’re supposed to be cheering me up,” I tell him.
“How? You won’t tell me what’s wrong even though you’ve had a face like thunder ever since we walked in. You won’t talk to anybody else. And that,” he says, pointing at the bottle. “Is gonna cost you five hundred dollars when you could have drunk one of your bottles at home for free.”
The music changes and I wince. The fucking Linebackers. This song is everywhere right now and I hate it with a passion. The blonde is swaying to the sound of the lead singer – Ryker – telling the girl that he’ll never settle down.
Wise fucking man.
“I got tickets to see this band later in the week,” I tell him. My voice is slurring. Shit, I’m more drunk than I thought. I swallow another mouthful anyway.
“The Linebackers?” Brooks asks. “Oh yeah, you did something with their music, didn’t you?”
They provided the soundtrack to an advert I was involved in. “Yeah. But I’m not going.”
“Why?” Brooks looks like he’s going to laugh. Which is all I need. I took care of this kid since the day he was born. I’ve spent my life protecting him.
I’m just gonna need him to return the favor tonight.
“Because she’s going.”
My brother lifts a brow. “Oh this is getting interesting. Who is she?”
“Tessa Carmichael.”
“Right.” He smiles. “The woman you went to Exuma with?”
“How do you know about that?”
“Group chat,” he says. “Myles mentioned you’d taken the trip with some woman.”
“I didn’t see it.” I frown.
“Because you flounced out of it after Holden got all pissy with you when you were in Exuma.”
“Did I? Can you invite me back in?” I ask.
He holds his phone up. “Done. So let’s go back to the subject. You and this Tessa chick… ”
“She’s not a chick,” I tell him. “She’s a woman.” Every single inch of her. I won’t let him dismiss her like she’s not important. Because she’s important in every way.
His lip curls. “I bet she is.”
And now I’m annoyed because he’s paying attention to her. Christ, I’m need some sleep. The combination of jet lag and expensive whiskey isn’t making me feel good.
“She thinks I’m full of drama,” I say, stumbling over the last word. It comes out half formed.
Brooks burst out laughing. “Of course you are. But women throw themselves at you anyway. Like that blonde over there.”
I follow the line of his stare. Yeah, she’s still looking.
And for a minute, just a minute, I consider going over to talk to her. To make me feel better.
But then that’ll prove Carmichael right. Because I’ve definitely decided she’s Carmichael. She hates my guts again for some reason.
I liked it better when she liked me. Really liked me. When she came on my mouth and my dick and my fingers.
“Linc?” Brooks says.
“Huh?” I open my eyes, not even realizing I’d closed them. But I’m so damn tired. Of everything.
“You have company.” Brooks says, tilting his head my way. The blonde is standing next to me, looking down at me with a smile on her face.
“Hi,” she says. “I’m Sapphire.”
“Of course you are,” I reply. “But no thank you.”