Epilogue
EPILOGUE
TESSA
Later that year…
Mariah Carey’s voice echoes through the apartment, promising that she doesn’t want a lot for Christmas, as I slowly blink my eyes awake. The bed is empty apart from me, and I roll over to look at the time.
Damn, it’s nine o’clock. And there’s so much I need to do. I sit bolt upright. How the hell did I sleep through my alarm?
When I get downstairs I see two familiar heads facing the television. There’s some kind of air fight going on between dragons, and Zoe groans as one of them dies and falls down to the ground.
“That’s not fair, I taught you that move,” she says.
“You snooze you lose,” Linc tells her, putting down the controller. “Alright, it’s time to wake up your mom.”
“One more game,” Zoe says. “Please?”
“You can keep playing,” I tell them. “I’ll make the coffee. ”
On hearing my voice, Linc turns around to look at me. His hair is mussed up, and he’s wearing the t-shirt that Zoe bought him with ‘Bonus Dad’ written across the front. We opened our gifts yesterday on Christmas Eve – European style, as Linc called it – because Jared will be picking Zoe up any minute and taking her to his folks’ house for a few days.
It's been four months since Zoe and I moved in. We reached a good rhythm fairly quickly. Linc and I share most of the chores, though he insists on keeping his cleaner which I insisted on paying half for.
We all take turns cooking. Even Zoe’s learned how to make a few mean pasta dishes.
And he’s even gotten used to dealing with Zoe’s hormones. And mine, too, when it comes to that. Our periods are pretty much in sync these days, so when one of us begins I tend to send him an SOS.
And he comes home with bags of candy and comic books for Zoe. Plus cannolis for me.
I make sure he knows how much we appreciate him.
Since Zoe’s going to be gone for a week, Linc and I decided to take time off work and enjoy a short vacation. Just the two of us. Our bags are packed and we’re due to leave at lunchtime. I’m so excited for some alone time with him it’s not funny.
I start up the coffee machine, putting in an espresso pod for Linc, followed by a decaf one for me. Then I froth up the milk while I watch Linc let himself get beaten by Zoe.
I love the way he only does it occasionally. He never lets her win all the time, but he always seems to know when it’s the right moment to step back.
Watching the man I love be the sweetest step dad to my daughter makes everything inside me ache in the sweetest of ways.
We eat breakfast and then I send Zoe to grab her bags. The buzzer rings right as she’s leaving her bedroom. Through the crack in her door I can see it’s a typical teenage mess. When she’s back from her trip I’ll make her tidy it up, but for now I’m choosing my battles.
“Come here,” I say to Zoe, as Linc goes to open the door to Jared. They’re not exactly friends but they tolerate each other for Zoe’s sake. I hug her tightly, pulling her against me. “Be good,” I tell her. “And have fun.”
“I’d rather be coming with you,” she grumbles.
“No you wouldn’t. There’s going to be a lot of PDA going on.”
Public Displays of Affection. The teenager’s worst nightmare.
“Ugh.” She looks up at me. “Thank you for a great Christmas.”
“Thank you for celebrating it early with me.” I kiss her cheek and hug her again, then I pick up one bag while she picks up the other.
Jared is standing in the doorway. Linc is standing in the hallway, his arms crossed.
“Hey Dad,” Zoe says, handing him her bag.
“Hey Zo.”
She turns to Linc. “I guess I’ll see you after New Years.”
“Yeah, you will.” He hugs her and she hugs him back hard. “Have a good time. And if you need us, call.”
“I won’t.” She winks at him. “I don’t want to disturb your PDAs.”
“Tessa.” Jared nods at me.
“Hi. Merry Christmas,” I say to him.
“And to you.” He takes Zoe’s other bag from me. “You ready?” he asks Zoe. “We gotta get a head start on the traffic.”
“Yeah. I’m good.”
She blows me a kiss and the two of them head down the hallway to the elevators. I stand and watch until they step inside and then I gently close the door.
“You okay?” Linc asks, his eyes wary .
I take a deep breath. No parent likes spending Christmas Day without their kid. But it happens all over the world. “Yeah,” I say. “Do we need to go, too?”
“Another half an hour,” Linc tells me. “Come here.” He reaches for me, his fingers sliding between mine, then pulls me against his body. Cupping my face with his warm palms, his eyes catch mine.
“Next year you get her for the whole holiday,” he reminds me.
“She’ll be fifteen. And a bigger pain in the ass.”
He laughs. “I know you don’t mean it.”
No, I don’t. I ache for her.
But then I’ve been aching a lot this month. In all kinds of ways. “We should enjoy this,” I tell him. “This is our last Christmas just the two of us.”
“Until Zoe decides she has better things to do than spend time with us.” He grins.
“No.” I shake my head slowly. “We won’t be alone then, either.”
“Why not…” He slowly trails off as realization replaces the frown lines on his face. “What?” he asks, his eyes searching mine. “Are you?”
“Pregnant?” I whisper. “Yes.”
A huge grin pulls at his lips. “You’re kidding me.”
“No, I’m not.” We made the decision a few months ago to stop using birth control. Because yes, my doctor couldn’t find any fertility problems, but I’m still heading toward my late thirties. If we want a baby, we needed to do it soon.
“How long?” Linc asks, staring at my stomach like he can’t believe his baby is in there.
“Six weeks,” I tell him. “So we have a while to go.”
“When did you find out?”
“Yesterday.” I’d suspected for a few days, but with the holiday season and getting ready for us all to leave the city I’d finally gotten around to taking a test on Christmas Eve morning while I was cooking the ham. “I wanted to tell you when we were alone. I hope that’s okay.”
“It’s more than okay,” he says, looking at me tenderly. “It’s everything.” He looks down again. “Can I touch your stomach?”
“There’s nothing to feel, but go for it.”
So he does. And as his palm splays out against my stomach there’s a look of wonder on his face. “Eight months,” he says. “And then we get to meet her or him.”
“Yes.” I nod.
When his lips touch mine I feel the emotion in his kiss. His arms wrap around me, pulling me closer until our bodies are pressed together.
“Are you happy?” I ask him when our kiss finally ends.
“So damn happy you wouldn’t believe,” he tells me. “Even though you spoiled my surprise.”
“You have a surprise?” I ask him, blinking. “Don’t tell me you’re pregnant too.”
He starts to laugh and it’s a beautiful sound. Putting his hand in his pocket, he pulls out a little box. It’s dark red and velvet and I have to swallow hard because I think I know what’s inside it.
“I was going to ask you in Exuma,” he tells me. “In our cottage.”
“Ask me what?” I say softly, even though I think I know. Because I want to hear him say it. Because I know what my answer will be.
He slowly opens the box and the most beautiful sapphire ring is inside. It glistens beneath the lights of our apartment.
“Tessa Carmichael,” he says, his voice clear as he suddenly drops to one knee in front of me. “You and Zoe are the loves of my life. You’ve made me feel complete. And now this little one is added to the mix and I’m so fucking happy I think I might combust.” He leans forward to kiss my stomach. “Will you do the honor of becoming my wife? ”
My eyes are shining as I reach for him, because I feel complete, too. He makes everything better by just existing. I can’t imagine my life without him.
I thought that love was scary, but it’s the lack of it that I hate. He’s taught me to live again, to love again.
To have hope where I thought it didn’t exist for me anymore.
“Yes,” I tell him, feeling like I’m about to explode with happiness as he stands and kisses me softly, sliding the ring onto my finger. “Yes, please. I can’t think of anything I’d rather be.”
Thank you for reading!