32. Mayson
Mayson
I need a fucking hazmat suit to walk into my own room with the sweat soaked clothes that have officially ruined my bed. I don’t even want to go near them, let alone touch them to move them anywhere.
Colin’s always keeping me on my toes, but I feel like I’ve officially gotten whiplash.
He wants me, but he also wants to drive me crazy.
He wants to lock me away in my tower so no one can see me, but he wants me to be around for the party tonight.
He challenges me to date that Garrett guy, but whisks me away from the situation.
Then there’s the fact that he yanks me into his bed every night and fucks me until I can’t breathe. But the next morning we go our separate ways. We aren’t a couple. We aren’t admitting any feelings. We’re just fuck buddies…I guess?
Then why does the thought of that make my stomach cramp? I hate myself for the tinge of pain because that makes me feel like my heart is becoming involved and I refuse for that to be true. I can’t fall for Colin, regardless of him being my stepbrother or not. It’s because it’s him .
I don’t know what he has planned for tonight, but whatever it is I’m sure I’m not going to like it. And whatever ends up happening I’m sure somehow, someway I’m going to end up in his bed.
I can hate myself later for it.
I end up gathering my comforter up, balling Colin’s nasty clothes in it so I don’t have to touch them.
Of course, I don’t throw them in the laundry when I bring them down to the washer.
I dump them on the floor, and toss my oversized blanket in the machine.
He can deal with his own shit because I’m not his maid.
His bedroom door is still closed when I head back to my room, and I wish I could lock myself in here. I also think about how funny it would be if I were able to lock him out of his own party.
Now there’s an idea for another time.
I text my team group chat telling them to come over because if the guy’s team is going to be here, I’m not about to face them all alone. Plus having my friends around makes it easier to deal with Colin and his bullshit.
As I’m getting ready I hear voices downstairs, and I know the chaos is about to begin. I pull my long hair up in a ponytail, not because I know it drives Colin crazy. Nope. It has nothing to do with him at all.
Liar.
“Are you decent?” a familiar female voice asks from the cracked door.
“Would you care if I wasn’t?”
Anja bursts in. “Nope.”
She’s followed by Maeghen, Chelsey, Blake, and Lucy.
“Do you know how hard it is to find outfits that go with green hair?” Lucy flops onto my bed in annoyance.
“You can pull off anything and you know it.” I roll my eyes because she could have any hair color, or no hair at all, and would still be gorgeous. She’s just mad the color wasn’t her choice.
“Yeah, well I got him back so it was worth it.” She smiles.
“I’m really glad Luca has gone easy on me.” Chelsey shakes her head and we all glare at her.
“Some of us definitely haven’t gotten it easy,” Blake grumbles and I nod in agreement.
“Do you know the reason for the impromptu party?” Maeghen asks and I just shake my head.
“Does Colin ever need a reason? Other than to piss me off?”
“Oh yeah, I’m sure that’s what he’s been doing, right?” Anja gives me a look.
“Yeah, what else would he be doing?”
“Uh, fucking you senseless?” She chuckles, and everyone mumbles in agreement.
“Oh please, like you all haven’t had sex with someone you didn’t like before?”
They all pause before murmuring agreements.
“Besides, it doesn’t matter. I’m just using him to get through these next few months. Then the Rites will be over, the season will be done, he’ll graduate, and that’s it.”
“That’s my girl.” Anja raises her hand up for a high-five. “Hit it and quit it.”
I chuckle. “No shit. It’s Colin . It was never going to go anywhere.”
Yet when I say the words, the stupid pang in my stomach is back and maybe I need to see a doctor about it. Because there has to be something medically wrong. In no way does it have to do with anything else I may or may not be feeling for Colin.
Because I’m not feeling anything other than disdain.
I can’t.
Blake brought a flask full of vodka that we’ve all shared while we hang out in my room before heading downstairs. As the music gets louder and more voices appear we decide we should probably join.
That, and we ran out of our own alcohol.
Downstairs, I don’t immediately see Colin and vow not to seek him out. I’m sure his eyes are going to be on me even though I don’t want them there. I stick close to my friends as we navigate the crowd of people that have overtaken my house.
Mads is quick to steal Blake away, and she doesn’t immediately call out for help so I figure she’s okay with it. I want to get out of the stuffy house, and step out into the backyard. The cool air instantly feels so much nicer, but then I see him.
“Oh shit,” Maeghen says, seeing what I am.
Colin is in the hot tub, but of course he’s not alone.
He’s shirtless with only that fucking chain around his neck.
The one I’ve had bite into his skin while we’ve had sex.
Right now some girl I don’t recognize is toying with it while she’s talking to him.
Of course it’s not just them, there are several women in the hot tub, and they’re all looking at him like they’re about to know what it feels like when he’s holding them down and fucking them.
What he does to me.
Every night.
Yet, right now he doesn’t even see me or the fury I’m sure is evident on my face.
“Want to kill him?” Maeghen asks, and I shake my head.
“No. He just wants to get a reaction from me.” I know that’s what this is, but I can’t help the way I do want to kill him. Every time he’s gotten mad another man has looked at me. Every time he’s gotten mad at me for talking to another man.
And this is what he’s doing?
Fuck. That.
I walk over, doing my best to hide any emotion, keeping my head held high as I approach.
“How’s the water?” I ask no one in particular.
The girl playing with Colin’s chain gives me a disgusted look. “We’re full.”
I smirk. “Looks like it.”
“Nah, we have room for one more, babe.” He pats his lap. “Right here.”
“Darn, you know I would love to, but someone has taken away all my swimsuits.”
“You don’t need them, we’re all friends here.”
I see the girl narrow her eyes at me.
“Friends? Is that what we are?” I ask my stepbrother.
“What else would we be?” He lifts an eyebrow.
“I would never consider you a friend,” I sneer.
“Come on, Colin. Let’s just get out of here.” The girl tries to entice him, but he isn’t even paying attention to her.
“Yeah, Colin, why don’t you get out of here? I can find plenty of fun for myself for the night.”
His jaw clenches, and I know he doesn’t like the thought of that. Good.
I start to walk away, but I hear splashing, and then a very strong, very wet body is behind me, pulling me back against him and I’m lifted off my feet.
“Let me go,” I screech, trying to fight him off, but he doesn’t.
Instead, he carries me into the hot tub, fully submerging me with him and I try to push away because my clothes are now completely soaked .
Some of the girls get out of the water, making sure to loudly express how annoyed they are. But when Colin turns me around in his lap, his eyes are blazing. I try to push at his shoulders, but he’s not letting me go.
“I would never consider you a friend either.” His mouth crashes onto mine. I almost forget where we are and the amount of people around. The way he’s kissing me is so intense everything else seems to fade away.
It doesn’t seem real, especially when I give into it, kissing him back.
My fingers sink into his hair, and pull the strands roughly causing him to groan.
His hands grip my hips, and pull me onto him so I’m straddling his lap.
Our lips don’t part from each other. Colin’s tongue invades my mouth as he pulls me even harder against him.
I can feel how hard he is against me, even through my soaked pants.
“Um what the fuck?” A snarky voice sounds from somewhere close by. I break away from Colin’s lips, but he just moves to run them along my neck, nipping the skin and then soothing it with his tongue.
“I think the message is pretty clear. You can leave,” I tell the girl that’s still sitting in the water for some reason.
“Aren’t you like siblings?”
Colin lifts his head, his hand on my ass is keeping me completely plastered against him. “Yeah, we are, so you should probably leave so we can have some family bonding time.”
I laugh, even though I shouldn’t. He’s so sick, and it’s wrong. But dammit watching the snarky bitch’s face curl in disgust as she has to climb out of the hot tub embarrassingly makes it worth it.
“You’re gross,” I tell him, our lips less than an inch apart.
“You like it.” His mouth is on mine again, and dammit, I do like it.