36. Mayson
Mayson
I want to be mad at him. I really should be mad at him, he fucking admitted to drugging me.
He’s a deranged psycho that forced his way into my bed.
But more than that, he forced his way into my heart, too.
Somehow, some fucking way. Though, he did more than just force it.
He bulldozed right past every wall I had up and made himself right at home.
Just like he’s seemed to have made himself right at home between my legs with his face buried there while he makes me see stars.
I’ve always heard about guys not wanting to go down on girls, or that they aren’t very good at it.
But not Colin. Of course the asshole is good at it.
He’s good at everything he seems to stick his mind to.
Which is probably why he was able to get me to feel things for him, even despite knowing what he did to me. Despite everything, my heart can’t bear the thought of not being with him. Which probably makes me just as deranged as him, if not more.
That’s exactly how I feel with the way he’s able to easily pull a powerful orgasm from me, and I go boneless at the sensations taking over me.
When he rises, his mouth and chin are coated in my release, and I whimper at the sight. Especially when he licks his bottom lip for more of the taste. I practically melt right off the counter at the indecent sight.
“Are you still mad at me?” he taunts, like he can read my mind.
“Yes.”
“Guess I have to work harder for your forgiveness.”
I try to push him away again as he scoops me back up. “You can’t just win me over with sex.”
“I can’t?” he taunts, carrying me upstairs. “Seems like it’s helping a little bit.”
“Nah, I’m just using you some more.”
He jostles me and I grunt as my stomach lands on his shoulder, knocking the air out of me.
“That’s not as funny as you think it is.” He slaps his hand on my ass and I let out a little growl in annoyance.
“I’m not trying to be funny.”
“Good because we would need to work on your comedic skills if you were.”
“Yeah, well we need to work on your romantic skills.”
That earns me a laugh. “Now, that’s funny.”
I’m tossed down onto his bed roughly, and then he’s on top of me, pinning me with his hips. His eyes are locked on mine. The dark blue is blazing while his hard cock is digging into me, making me squirm.
“What if I apologize? Would that make it better?” he asks. His deep voice seems even deeper, but I don’t know if it’s just my mind altering everything as lust consumes me.
“Not if you’re doing it just so I’ll let you fuck me.”
“If you’re upset about it, then I’m sorry. I did what I had to in order to get you here. I needed you close to me. Fuck the Rites, fuck all the bullshit that goes along with them. They were an excuse to get you close.”
I scrunch my face at his half apology.
“You drugged me .”
“And I’m sorry about that part, but I’m not sorry you’re here. I’m not sorry about anything else between us because I know you’ve liked it. I push, you pull. It’s how we are and it only proves how you’ve been mine for longer than you realize.”
“No,” I deny.
“No?”
“No. That doesn’t prove how long I’ve been yours.”
“You don’t think so?”
“No. It proves how long you’ve been mine.”
I wrap my arms around his neck, pulling his face down to mine so I can kiss him with all the aggression, and emotion I’m feeling without having to say anything else. He groans against my mouth, especially when I wrap my leg around his hip, pulling him even tighter against me.
His tongue plunges into my mouth and I can taste myself on it, which only makes me arch up into him even more.
“I’m still mad. Fuck me like you hate me,” I gasp.
“No.” He thrusts against me just once and I want more. I need more. “I’m going to fuck you like I love you.”
“That’s a thin line for you,” I retort weakly as his lips trail from my jaw, down my neck.
“My love for you isn’t sweet, it isn’t nice. It’s brutal and you may think it’s hate, but it’s not. It never has been. It’s us, and I know your love is the same.” His teeth sink into my skin where my neck meets my shoulder and I claw at his back.
He’s pushing my shirt up, over my head, then latching his mouth onto my nipple, biting and sucking roughly. I can’t say anything back because there’s nothing to say. He’s brutal, and he may be right. That’s how his love is.
And the worst part is he may be right that my love may be the same. Because the fire burning in my chest, the ache that’s there when I’ve thought about not being with him, are pretty telling. But my head hasn’t caught up yet, since it’s turning to mush with every second he’s touching me.
He moves to my other nipple, sucking even harder than he did on the first one, and I cry out.
“It was always going to be me. No one else could give you what you need. No one else could love you the way you need, baby deer.”
Nodding, because I don’t know what he wants me to say. I just need him to fuck me before I lose my mind.
I push his shorts off with my feet, and feel his huff of laughter against my skin, but it doesn’t last long. I manage to get them low enough that I feel his bare cock against me. I buck up to rub against him, and it puts the tip of his raging erection at my entrance.
“Tell me how badly you want me,” he grinds out.
I whine, trying to push him inside instead of saying anything, but he won’t move.
“Tell me, and then you can ride my cock the rest of the night. It’s yours.”
“I want you, please, Colin. Please.”
“That’s my girl,” he buries himself to the hilt in a single hard thrust. I cry out, but the stretch hardly even phases me. I’m so turned on that the only thing I can think of is how good it feels. And how it’s not going to take very long for him to pull another orgasm from me.
“Yeah, I am,” I admit softly as he pulls out almost all the way, but I wrap my legs around him tightly, yanking him back into me .
“Oh fuck, Mace,” he groans, and I smirk, knowing I’ve gotten to him. Even just a little bit.
I may not have been actually using him, but knowing his weakness is me is the greatest information he could’ve given me. I know he’s obsessed, he’s been obvious about that. But it’s confirmed that no matter what, he wants me.
He thinks he loves me.
I moan when he hits a particularly sensitive spot inside me, and I hate that my mind thinks maybe I could love him too.
I should be mad. I shouldn’t ever forgive him for half the things he’s done to me. But I feel like I could make him pay for the rest of his life. The life I could be in. The life I don’t think he will give me a choice but to be in.
For some reason that’s the thought that has my release even closer.
I tighten my grip around him, digging my nails into his back as he fucks me.
Our moans mix together along with the sounds of slapping of skin.
The crude sounds only add to my pleasure as he builds the pressure inside me so much that I’m coming, unable to hold back my screams of pleasure.
Colin groans, barely holding himself up over me as he finds his own orgasm, pushing all the way in and filling me with his release. I do something I never expected to do, I tighten my legs around him, holding him deep inside me as he does.
Our chests are sticky with sweat as we catch our breaths, and I feel like I should hate myself right now. I should question everything that just happened, especially knowing the extent of Colin’s insanity.
But the only thought I have is that I don’t want to move. I don’t want things to go back to how they were before. I want this, and worst of all is I want the man that’s currently borderline suffocating me. I want him more than just physically. I want to be able to give him my heart.
It’s only a matter of time before I do just that.