26. Dirty Little Secret
TWENTY-SIX
DIRTY LITTLE SECRET
RYAN
I’m proud of myself. I only wanted to rip Isa out of Coop’s arms a grand total of five times during the entire three-minute song they danced.
That’s lower than I thought it would be.
It’s not that I’m jealous. Well, not for the reasons one might think.
I’m not afraid of Cooper making a move. It’s more that I’m jealous of it not being me.
I want to sweep her up in my arms and twirl us across the dance floor.
But he beat me to it. And if I try to interrupt, I’m afraid it’ll only make this thing between us seem entirely obvious.
So, instead, I’m sitting here at the table by myself while I watch the two of them chat and laugh while he’s the one to twirl her around the room.
They step away as the song ends and I’m about to make my move when I see her make her way through the crowd to her table.
I sigh and drop back into my seat.
Later then. I’ll dance with her later.
Cooper finally joins me, sliding into the seat next to me. “Why are you hiding over here?” he asks, sipping from his water.
“I’m not hiding,” I grumble. “I was going to dance with Isa, but it seems someone beat me there.” I shoot him a knowing look.
He shrugs and flashes a smile at me. “You snooze, you lose, Fletcher.”
I roll my eyes. “It’s fine. I’ll get the next one.”
His eyes trail over to the dance floor before he tilts his head that direction. “It seems someone else has beat you to that honor.”
I whip around in my seat to find her dancing with Jamie now. “Motherfucker,” I curse under my breath. Cooper chuckles and I turn my glare on him. “Shut up, Lennox.”
I turn back to watch her sway to the music.
She’s gorgeous. I can’t seem to be able to pull my eyes off her, like she’s a magnet.
The dress accentuates all her curves, and I want to run my hands along them.
Her cheeks are rosy and eyes sparkling. She’s happy.
I so rarely see her let go like this in public moments and she deserves to be able to.
I narrow my eyes when I catch the slightest shimmer in her eyes. Are those tears? She smacks Jamie’s shoulder, but I can tell it’s a playful gesture. Leaning forward in my seat, I watch as she dabs her fingers beneath her eyes so as not to mess up her makeup.
That motherfucker made her cry.
I’m out of my seat in a blink and make it all of two steps in her direction before a voice comes over the sound system to announce it’s time for dinner.
God dammit.
Dinner drags by. But I suppose that’s largely due to the fact that there’s another thing I’d much rather be doing right now than sitting here suffering through a catered dinner of dry chicken and steamed vegetables that are a tad undercooked.
And of course, once dinner is finished, they roll straight into it with speeches and the silent auction items. Because why wouldn’t they.
After what feels like hours, but must have only been one, the music kicks back on and the dance floor reopens.
“Fucking finally,” I mutter under my breath as I pop out of my seat.
The guys chuckle at the abruptness of my departure but I don’t even care. I’m a man on a mission at this point.
Isa’s eyes connect with mine across the room, and I slightly tilt my head in the direction of the bar. She dips her chin in a barely perceptible nod.
I linger at the end of the bar until an arm brushes against mine as she sidles up next to me. Turning my body to face her, I lean my elbow on the bar top. “Can I buy you a drink?”
She tilts her head and smirks. “Isn’t it an open bar?”
I chuckle. “Got me there.” I hold out a hand to her. “How about a dance then?”
“I don’t see why not,” she says with a shrug, placing her hand in mine. Sparks crawl over my skin at the contact.
I guide her out onto the dance floor as the music shifts into Bruno Mars’s “Risk It All”.
There’s a flash of panic in Isa’s eyes when the song processes.
Her eyes flit around the room, presumably looking to see if anyone is paying us any attention.
She relaxes the slightest bit once she determines it to be safe enough.
“Did you bribe the DJ to play this when you finally got me to dance with you?” she tries to joke, but it comes out tense.
I crack a half smile at how fitting the lyrics are to our current situation.
“Believe it or not, that was pure coincidence.” I pull her a little bit closer, needing her to be near me.
Her body loosens further as we sway to the music.
I drop my mouth beside her ear. “We’re being careful. You don’t need to worry.”
She shimmies her body a bit, shaking off her nerves. “I know, I know. It just feels strange to be so close in public like this. Makes it feel like there are all these eyes on us. People whispering in the shadowy corners.” She lets out a breath.
“I don’t have a reason to stick around any longer. Wanna get out of here?” I ask.
The relief washes over her face in a wave. “God, yes please.”
We once again had to pull some sneaky spy shit to leave the gala. She got in the car and then we had it pick me up a block down from the venue.
I’m starting to get really sick of this whole sneaking around. But I know it’s what we have to do if Isa wants to keep her job.
Back inside the safety of my apartment, I slump down into one of the bar stools and release a defeated breath. Isa kicks off her heels and saunters over to me, straddling me on the chair with her arms looped around my neck.
“I’m sorry we left early,” she says, flashing me an apologetic smile.
I shake my head. “It’s no big deal. I usually hate those kinds of things anyway. At least this way I get to spend some time with you.” My hands fall to her hips, giving them a gentle squeeze.
She narrows her eyes, trying to read me. “Ryan, is everything okay?”
I let out a sigh. “Yes? No? I don’t know, Isa. What are we even doing anymore?”
She reels back, shocked, but doesn’t make an effort to move from my lap. “What do you mean?”
“What is this? Are we hooking up? Is it more than that? How long will we have to sneak around for?”
“Ryan, you know why we have to sneak around,” she says, voice soft and hesitant.
“No, I know.” I blow out a frustrated breath. “I just wish we didn’t have to do it forever.” I drop my forehead to hers and close my eyes, breathing in her scent. The coconut from her shampoo. The floral from whatever perfume she picked for tonight. It soothes something in me.
“Ry?” I pull my head back to meet her gaze. “I was kind of hoping I could have one of those titles you spoke about earlier…” She trails off, a blush starting to climb her cheeks.
I lift an eyebrow. “Oh yeah?” I tighten my grip on her hips and pull her closer to me.
“Which one is that? Wife? Because I’m sure I can arrange for a car to Vegas.
We can have Elvis marry us before the night is over.
” She drops her forehead to my chest as she laughs.
I place a finger under her chin to tilt her face back up to me. “Or was it girlfriend?”
Her eyes flare at the word. “That one,” she whispers.
“You wanna be my girlfriend, firecracker?”
“Yes.”
“You want me to be your boyfriend?” I ask.
She nods. “More than anything.”
I flash her a smirk that turns her eyes molten with desire. “Whatever you want, Isa. It’s yours.”
She brings a hand to my cheek, and I lean into the touch. “It won’t be forever,” she says softly.
“What won’t? You being my girlfriend? Because I sure as hell hope?—”
“No,” she cuts me off, laughing. “The sneaking around. We only need to wait until the end of the season.”
“The end of the season,” I repeat.
“Yeah. After the season is over, I won’t be working with the team anymore. Might not even be back with them for next year if I get my promotion. Which would mean I’m not in violation of my contract. So really, we just need to make it until then. Which is when again?”
“The end of October,” I answer. “If we go all the way to the World Series.” It’s a simple enough plan. The timing makes sense and puts her in the best position for her job. But fuck. October? That feels like a lifetime away.
She blows out a breath. “Okay, so three and half more months. We can do that, right? We’ve already made it this far.”
I tug her close so I can tuck her into my body.
“Yeah, we can do that.” I say, but the words taste sour on my tongue.
I can’t help but wish we didn’t have to hide this.
Hate that I can’t just shout from the rooftops that I’m in love with my girlfriend.
It makes her feel like a dirty little secret when she’s anything but.