46. Chapter 41
Idon’t know what a nervous breakdown is supposed to feel like, but I think I’m having one.
The thought that my father was doing all this, is too much to absorb. He’s been using his company—my future company—to funnel money, what I can only assume are payments for what he’s doing at the lodge. He is granted so much money every year, but then he pays out so much too. And He’s been using Cora and me to help him hide his sick, evil games.
The last few hours spin in my head and I can’t seem to focus on anything. All I can see are the images of bodies. Blood and gore that would make horror movie directors grimace.
And it was all my father’s doing.
And me too.
I hid the money he was collecting.
Cora too.
What will she do if she ever finds out? She can’t know.
Reaper spent the last few hours showing me the information they acquired, but refused to tell me the source. Files upon files with my signature, my numbers, my fucking contracts hiding his action in membership fees, or fake sales. I knew he was doing bad things, but not this.
Never this.
Glancing around the room, my eyes land on the box and head falls to the table. I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to focus my whirling thoughts.
I didn’t know.
Any of it.
There’s a part of me that’s so angry at them. Instead of kidnapping me, scaring Cora and me, they could have just told me. Shown me the files. But even as the thought springs to my mind, I know it’s not true. I never would have believed them. I was so blinded by my father’s drive to make me like him, by my craving to have his approval, I would have thought all this evidence was fabricated to take my father down.
Who would believe their parent was capable of the level of depravity I saw in those pictures?
No one.
Certainly not from a loving father who protected me to the point of imprisoning me. Reaper and the others needed me to see that they were more than just mean men hired to kidnap me. I needed to see them be kind to Cora. I needed Cora to tell me about my father and then and only then would I be ready to believe them when they showed me.
I have a feeling this was all planned. Every minute detail to get me on their side.
But to do what?
I don’t know because Reaper left me here over an hour ago and I can’t even think straight to guess at what they want. Because they want something. There’s a reason they did all this.
Revenge.
Maybe.
My heart picks up pace, imagining Cora’s face when she thought she was going back.
Blood is thicker than water.
My mother was wrong.
Rune may be my father, but Cora is mine.
“Tiny Thing.”
I jerk at the sound of Breaker’s voice behind me, but don’t turn around. When I don’t move, I hear him walk up, then feel his large hand land on my shoulder.
“You’re not screaming,” he says. “Or cursing or crying.”
I shake my head.
“You’re processing.”
“Screaming and crying won’t change what—” I swallow around the bile rising in my throat. “Reaper showed me. I heard Cora.”
It’s not like I don’t want to scream and cry. Tear at my hair and skin. But I shed enough tears hours ago and Rune doesn’t deserve any more of my tears. And I don’t want to cry anymore for Cora. She’d hate to see me crying, and besides, tears won’t change what happened. She doesn’t need my sadness. Cora needs my anger. My fucking rage. Cora needs my thirst for vengeance.
For the first time, I truly understand Reaper. Viper. Breaker. Striker. My father killed their brother.
They want revenge. They want Rune to pay for taking something from them. Something valuable that they loved.
I want to hurt him for hurting Cora. For destroying my trust and cutting away at my best friend and my life support after my mother was killed.
For hurting the woman I love.
My father….
No. The man I called my father, the man he pretended to be, would never do this.
Runeis a liar and thief. He’s lied to me most of my life. He stole Cora’s innocence. The same man who would come tuck me in at night, kiss my cheeks, and whisper promises to always protect me, was murdering people for sport. Then, after promising to protect Cora, was forcing her to fuck him. Forcing an innocent woman to bend to his will, all while keeping me trapped so that no man would do to me what he was doing to her.
The man who hunted those people? He doesn”t deserve any tears.
Than man deserves….
My breathes seize.
I sit upright, running my fingers through my hair, squeezing at the roots. My mind flashes on all the meetings we attended. The chain of hotels along the west coast we just purchased and all the money Cora and I hid. My stomach twists.
Cora and I have always known we were hiding criminal activity, but I justified it, telling myself Rune wasn’t that bad. Not like the gangsters in movies. He was my father. He had a good heart even if it was broken after my mother died.
I convinced myself Rune was a good man, deep down, despite knowing he wasn’t.
I’m no better than him.
The images Reaper showed me flood my mind again.
He made me a part of this and I let him. It doesn’t matter that I didn’t know.
“You’re spiraling.” Breaker’s voice centers my thoughts and I suck in a breath. The chair to my left scoots out, legs grating across the floor. From the corner of my eye, I see his massive frame sit next to me. “Come here.”
Breaker pats his thick thigh. During those days of feeding me, I’d sat on his lap so many times that the thought right now shouldn’t flood me with heat. My eyes fly up to his face and his mask. That first night, I thought they were wearing costumes. Just four men out for a raunchy night and Cora and I were the lucky girls they had in their sights.
But they lied to and manipulated us.
“Come sit, pretty thing,” he says. “Talk to me.”
“So you can lie to me some more?”
His fingers curl into his pants, but he pats again. “When did I lie?”
My brows furrow. “Asks the man who wears a mask to hide his identity and kidnaps and murders people.”
“If you are trying to tell me that withholding information is the same as lying, you wouldn’t be entirely incorrect,” he says and pats his leg again. “But we never looked you in the face and lied. We withheld information until you were able to handle the truth. That’s protecting, not lying.”
My shoulders droop. They lied by omission. They fed me information slowly. Giving me tidbits because they knew the scope of this would ruin me. If anything, I’m the liar. I’ve lied to myself my entire life. I worked for a ruthless man and was letting him mold me into a version of himself. I watched him grow powerful and rich and wanted the same things.
I told myself I did. I don’t want that now. All the things I wanted in life feel so unimportant now. The only thing that matters is keeping Cora safe.
And stopping Rune.
Breaker grips my wrist. I’m pulled forward, slightly too rough, and he places me on his lap. I settle down, expecting his erection, but just feel his thick thigh and him pressing his mask to my shoulder. He takes a long, slow breath. These men and the whole smelling thing.
I don’t hate it.
I don’t hate any of them.
I don’t think I ever did.
“You can’t tell Cora,” I whisper, my eyes gravitating back to the box. “It’ll kill her to know. She’s not ready.”
“I won’t,” Breaker says, running a hand up my back, his fingers moving over the dips in my spine. “None of us will until you give us the okay.”
I nod, relaxing under his soft touch.
When did this happen? That first week after they took us, I was so alone, so starved for any interaction. Then I had their attention on me so much for those few days that I liked being with them. Then they left us alone after I got Cora back and I wanted them around.
Now…
Now I have it and I want even more.
“You were supposed to be a mission,” he whispers. “A job. We weren’t supposed to care if you were scared or confused.” He breathes out a heavy sigh, warming my shoulder through my sweater.
“You took me, intending to turn me against my father,” I say for him.
I feel him nod.
“Yes. We were to take you, manipulate you, fuck with your head a little, force you to help us by any means, and that was it. You were supposed to be nothing. Just a hot cunt to have some fun with and convince to follow along with everything we said. But we fucked up.”
I try to shift to face him, but he doesn’t let me. He presses his cheek to my back. Out of all of them, Breaker has seemed the kindest. Not quick-tempered. He laughs. He takes part in whatever Reaper asks him to do, but he’s not cruel. If anything he’s felt the safest out of all of them.
“By fucking us?” I guess.
He chuckles. “By caring that you cried.”
It seems insane, but I get what he’s saying. I was supposed to be their target. They were supposed to be my captors, and instead they saved my best friend from a sick, cruel man. They manipulated my affection, yes, but they ended up earning my trust.
If someone took Cora, hurt her anyway, I’d want to kill them, too. Those first few days, I was too scared to be furious with them. Then, when I knew she was safe, I was just angry that we were apart.
But I understand now why they wanted to steal me, and hurt Rune by never giving me back. By turning me against him.
Now, the fact that they are going against whoever hired them to begin with means everything they’ve said is true.
They want me. Us.
They didn”t want to force me. They wanted to earn me they way they did Cora.
I flash on Reaper’s dark glare. His hands on me edged with violence but turning tender at the strangest moments. He hated me that night in the club. He hated me when he took us.
But I didn’t feel that hate when he came barging into the room and I haven’t felt it since. I wonder at what point he stopped despising my existence. Maybe he never really did. Maybe none of them did.
“Breaker,” I whisper, looking over my shoulder and meeting his pale eyes.
I wish I could see his face. I cup his jaw, feeling the hard curve under his mask. The urge to lean in and kiss him until that dark expression leaves his ice-blue eyes makes me want to rip his mask off to I can taste his lips. But I don’t because I understand why he’s still wearing it.
I’m not ready to show him everything there is to know about me, either.
His hand lands on top of mine and I say the one thing I know will break away those shadows in his eyes, “I’m hungry.”
He leans back, gaze dropping to my mouth, and I swear, one day I’m going to see that smile under his mask and I know, deep in the pit of me, it’s going to shatter my heart.
“Then let’s get my pretty, Tiny Thing, something to eat.”