Chapter 14 #2
"Just what?" Jae-won asked softly, crouching down so he was at eye level with me, his face inches from mine.
This close, I could see the worry lines etched around his eyes, the tension in his jaw, the way his whole body was trembling with the effort of holding himself back.
This close, his scent enveloped me completely, and I felt stronger than I had in hours.
"I'm scared," I admitted, the confession tearing itself from somewhere deep inside me. "I'm still so scared. Not of you. Not anymore. I'm scared I waited too long. I'm scared I wasted so much time being afraid when I could have been getting to know you. All of you."
"You didn't waste anything." Jae-won's voice was gentle but firm, his dark eyes holding mine with an intensity that made my breath catch. "You're here now. That's what matters."
"You read my letter," I realized, remembering what I'd written to them, the vulnerability I'd poured onto the page. "You know about my mother. About why I was so scared."
"We all read it." He reached out, his hand hovering just above my cheek, not quite touching. "And we all understood. What happened to your mother was terrible. But you're not her, and we're not him. We would never—"
"I know." The words came out stronger than anything I'd said so far, fueled by a certainty I hadn't known I possessed. "I know you wouldn't. I've known since the letters. Maybe even before that. I was just too scared to believe it."
"And now?" Jae-won asked, his voice barely above a whisper, his dark eyes searching mine with desperate hope.
"Now I'm starting to believe it," I said simply.
"That you're not what I was afraid of. I believe my mother's story doesn't have to be mine.
I believe that breaking and completing are opposite things, and I've been making myself sick trying to avoid a future I invented based on someone else's trauma. "
Something shifted in his expression — relief and hope and something fierce that made my heart stutter. A sound escaped him, somewhere between a laugh and a sob, and his hovering hand finally made contact with my cheek.
The fifth bond exploded into existence.
Deep indigo — vast and powerful and overwhelming — crashing into place beside the other four. I felt it lock into my chest, felt it settle into the spaces between my ribs, felt the fifth flower bloom on my mark with a sensation that was intense and consuming.
Five bonds.
Five incomplete bonds.
But for the first time, they weren't tearing me apart.
With Jae-won touching me, with his scent surrounding me, the bonds pulsed in something closer to harmony.
Still incomplete, still aching, but no longer at war with each other.
My body still reacted to the overload — my back arched slightly, a high-pitched whine escaping my throat as the new bond settled into place.
The world went bright at the edges, then dim, my consciousness wavering under the weight of five connections all demanding attention at once.
"Keira!" Jae-won's voice, sharp with concern, cutting through the haze. His hands were on my shoulders now, steadying me, keeping me upright. "Stay with me. Look at me. Focus on my voice."
I tried. Blinked hard, forcing his face back into focus. He was so close, his scent everywhere, and I realized with distant wonder that I didn't want to run. Not even a little.
"I'm okay," I managed, though my voice came out thin and reedy. "Just... a lot. Five bonds is a lot."
"I know." His voice cracked slightly, his hands gentle on my shoulders. "Can you stand? We need to get you home. The pack is waiting. Being around all of us — it'll help. I can already feel it helping, can't you?"
He was right. Even just his presence was making a difference. The fever that had been burning through me felt less intense. The bone-deep exhaustion was still there, but it wasn't quite so crushing.
"Yeah," I admitted, surprised by how true it was. "It does help. Being near you."
"Then let's get you to the others." Jae-won's arms wrapped around me, lifting me off the bench like I weighed nothing at all.
His heart was pounding beneath my ear — fast and hard — and his scent surrounded me completely, thunderstorm and rain and something underneath that smelled like safety.
"The nest is ready. We've got food and water and everything you need.
You just have to let us take care of you. "
Home, my omega sighed, the word resonating through both of us with a longing I couldn't fight anymore. Pack. Safe. Finally.
"I wanted to stay," I whispered, my head resting against his chest as he started walking. "I was going to stay. I wasn't running. I just... ran out of strength."
"I know," Jae-won said softly, his arms tightening around me. "We all know. And now you don't have to be strong alone anymore. That's what pack is for."
"The others," I murmured, exhaustion pulling at me now that the crisis was passing. "Are they worried? I didn't answer their messages for so long..."
"They're worried sick," Jae-won admitted, a hint of wry humor in his voice despite everything. "Min-jun is probably stress-cooking enough food to feed an army. Tae-min's been pacing a hole in the floor. Hwan hasn't stopped checking his phone. And Jin-ho's been so quiet it's actually terrifying."
A weak laugh escaped me. "I'm sorry."
"Stop apologizing." His voice was gentle but firm. "You reached out when you needed help. That's not something to apologize for. That's something to be proud of."
I let my eyes drift closed, too tired to keep them open, trusting him to carry me wherever we were going.
The five bonds pulsed in my chest — still incomplete, still aching, but steadier now.
More stable. Like they were finally beginning to believe they might actually get what they'd been reaching for.
"Jae-won?" I murmured, already half-asleep.
"Yeah?"
"Thank you. For finding me." His arms tightened around me, and I felt him press a brief kiss to the top of my head — so quick I might have imagined it.
"Always," he said quietly. "We'll always find you, Keira. That's what soulmates do." Then there was nothing but the steady rhythm of his footsteps, the warmth of his arms around me, and the five bonds in my chest pulsing together for the first time.
Not complete.
Not yet.
But together.
Finally, impossibly, together.