Chapter 25 #2
"I decided to try." I corrected, because the distinction mattered, because I needed him to understand the difference.
"It's not like I woke up one day and was magically okay.
Every morning I have to fight the urge to retreat, to overthink, to sabotage myself.
But I'm trying. Because the real me is snarky and weird and cries at dish soap commercials, and if that's too much.
.." I shrugged, aiming for casual but probably missing by a mile. "Then it's better to know now."
"It's not too much." He said it immediately, with a certainty that made my chest ache, his voice firm and unwavering.
We sat in silence for a moment, the weight of the conversation settling between us like something tangible.
Then Jae-won leaned forward, his elbows on the table, his expression shifting to something more serious, more intense.
"Can I tell you something?" His voice was low, meant only for me, his dark eyes holding mine with an intensity that made it hard to breathe.
"Depends on what it is." I managed, my heart rate picking up at the shift in his tone, something electric sparking in the air between us.
"I've been pack alpha since I was twenty-two.
" He said it simply, like it wasn't a confession, like it wasn't a window into something he kept hidden, his fingers drumming absently on the table.
"The previous leader — the one who debuted with us — left after our first year.
Creative differences, the company said. In reality, he couldn't handle the pressure.
So they looked at who was left and decided I was the best option. "
"That's a lot of responsibility for twenty-two." I said it softly, imagining a younger Jae-won suddenly thrust into a position of leadership he hadn't asked for, carrying a weight no one should have to bear alone.
"It was." He agreed, his jaw tightening with old memories, shadows passing behind his eyes.
"I made mistakes. A lot of them. But I learned.
I had to. Four people were counting on me to get it right.
" He paused, something vulnerable flickering across his features, a crack in his armor.
"The hardest part wasn't the decisions. It was learning to hide the doubt.
A pack alpha can't show weakness. Can't admit he doesn't know what he's doing.
Can't let anyone see that he's terrified of failing the people who trust him. "
"That sounds lonely." The words slipped out before I could stop them, heavy with recognition, heavy with understanding.
"It is." He met my eyes, and I saw something there I hadn't expected — a reflection of my own isolation, my own carefully constructed walls, the same loneliness I'd carried for years.
"I've spent six years being the strong one.
The certain one. The one who always has the answers.
" His voice dropped lower, rougher, raw with honesty.
"I don't always have the answers, Keira.
Sometimes I'm just guessing and hoping I'm right. "
"Then we have something in common." I reached across the table and took his hand, feeling his fingers interlace with mine, warm and strong and steadying. "I've been faking certainty my whole life. Turns out I'm not very good at it."
"You're better than you think." He squeezed my hand, his thumb tracing patterns on my palm, the touch sending shivers up my arm. "The fact that you're here — that you're trying, that you're letting us see the real you — that takes more courage than anything I've ever done."
"I don't feel courageous." I admitted, my voice small, barely more than a whisper. "I feel terrified. Constantly."
"Courage isn't the absence of fear." His eyes held mine, steady and certain, anchoring me in place. "It's being afraid and choosing to try anyway."
We returned to the dorm as the afternoon light turned golden, warm rays slanting through the windows like honey. But instead of joining the others, Jae-won led me down the hallway to his room.
It was the first time I'd been inside. Like his office, it wasn't what I expected — warm tones, soft lighting, more books than furniture. A large bed dominated one corner, neatly made with dark linens. Everything was organized but not sterile, lived-in but not messy.
"I wanted privacy for this." He closed the door behind us, the click of the latch sounding loud in the sudden quiet, and I felt the energy in the room shift — becoming charged, electric, heavy with possibility. "The others will understand."
"Privacy for what?" I turned to face him, my heart hammering against my ribs, my back pressing against the wall behind me without conscious thought.
He moved toward me slowly, deliberately, each step measured and intentional, his eyes never leaving mine.
He didn't touch me, but he placed his hands on the wall on either side of my head, caging me in without actually trapping me.
I could duck under his arm, could push him away, could leave if I wanted to.
I didn't want to.
"I've been holding back." His voice was low, rough, vibrating through me like distant thunder rolling across mountains.
"With the others, I've been careful. Measured.
The pack alpha setting an example." He leaned closer, his breath ghosting across my cheek, cedar and storm filling my senses until I couldn't think straight.
"But I'm tired of holding back with you. "
"Then don't." The words came out breathless, barely a whisper, my whole body trembling with anticipation.
"It's not that simple." His jaw tightened, control warring with want in his expression, muscles flexing beneath his skin.
"I could make you submit. Right now. One word, one command, and your omega would bow to me.
" His eyes darkened, something primal flickering in their depths, ancient and powerful.
"But I won't. Not ever. Not unless you ask me to. "
I shivered — not from fear. Something entirely different. Something that made heat pool low in my stomach and my knees go weak.
"I want to kiss you, Keira." He said it like a confession, like a prayer, his voice strained with the effort of holding himself back, the tendons in his neck standing out with tension. "But I want you to ask for it. I want you to choose this. Choose me."
The power dynamics clicked into place in my mind. He had all the control — physically, biologically, in every way that mattered. But he was giving it to me. Putting the choice in my hands. Proving that he would never take what wasn't freely offered.
"Kiss me." I said it clearly, deliberately, holding his gaze without wavering. "I'm asking. Kiss me."
Something broke in his expression — relief, want, triumph all tangled together, his composure finally shattering. Then his mouth was on mine, and I understood why the others had saved him for last.
Jae-won kissed like a thunderstorm — overwhelming, consuming, impossible to escape.
His hands left the wall to grip my hips, pulling me flush against him, and I gasped at the contact, at the heat of him pressing into every inch of me.
He swallowed the sound, his tongue sliding against mine, claiming every part of my mouth like he was staking a flag.
This wasn't gentle. This wasn't careful.
This was six years of control finally unleashed, and I was drowning in it.
My hands found his chest, his shoulders, the back of his neck, pulling him closer, needing more. He growled against my lips — actually growled, the sound rumbling through his chest — and lifted me like I weighed nothing, my legs wrapping around his waist automatically.
"I could devour you." He groaned the words against my throat, his mouth hot on my pulse point, his hips pressing me into the wall. "I've wanted to since the moment I saw you. Since the bond triggered and I felt you become mine."
"Then devour me." I gasped it out, past caring about dignity or restraint or anything except the feeling of him against me, consuming me.
He pulled back just enough to meet my eyes, his own wild and dark, barely human.
"Not yet. Not until you're ready. You just stopped running…
and I want to keep it that way." He pressed his forehead to mine, both of us breathing hard, our chests heaving in sync.
"But I will scent you. I will make sure everyone knows you belong to this pack. To me."
"Yes." The word was out before I could think about it, pure instinct taking over, every rational thought burned away by his presence. "Yes, do it."
He lowered me to my feet, his hands sliding up my arms to my shoulders, then to my jaw, tilting my head to the side with gentle pressure. I felt his nose trace the line of my throat, his breath hot against my skin, making me shudder.
"Right here." He pressed his lips to the spot just below my ear, right over my bonding gland, his voice a rough murmur against my skin. "The claiming spot. Where a bite would go, if we were completing the bond."
"I know what it means." I breathed, my voice shaky but certain, my hands gripping his shoulders for balance. "Do it anyway."
He made a sound that was almost pained, low and guttural, then his mouth closed over the spot and he began to scent me properly.
The sensation was unlike anything the others had done.
The wrist, the temple, the hand, the nape — those had been intimate.
This was claiming. Possession. I felt his scent sinking into my very blood, marking me at a cellular level, making me his in a way that couldn't be undone.
The bond blazed in my chest, joining the others, completing something that had been waiting to be finished.
"Mine." He growled the word against my throat, his teeth grazing the skin without breaking it, possessive and primal. "Ours. Pack."
"Yours." I agreed, my voice wrecked, my whole body trembling against him. "Pack." He worked his way across my throat, scenting every inch, his hands holding me steady when my knees threatened to give out. By the time he finished, I was boneless against him, completely overwhelmed.
"There." He pulled back, satisfaction blazing in his eyes as he surveyed his work, something triumphant in his expression. "Now everyone will know exactly who you belong to."
"Five alphas." I managed, still trying to catch my breath, my mind fuzzy with sensation, with the weight of what had just happened. "I belong to five alphas. That's insane."
"That's fate." He corrected, pressing a soft kiss to my forehead, his tenderness a stark contrast to the intensity of moments before. "That's the bonds choosing what they choose. That's five people finding one person who makes them complete."
"Do I make you complete?" I asked it quietly, something vulnerable in my voice, needing to hear the answer more than I wanted to admit.
"You make us possible." He cupped my face in his hands, his thumbs brushing away tears I hadn't realized had fallen, gentle against my cheeks.
"Before you, we were a pack. We worked well together, cared for each other.
But something was always missing. A balance.
An anchor." He met my eyes, his gaze steady and certain, unwavering.
"You're that anchor, Keira. You're the piece we didn't know we needed. "
I didn't know what to say to that. So instead, I stepped forward and wrapped my arms around him, burying my face in his chest, letting him hold me together.
He held me without question, his arms secure around me, his chin resting on top of my head.
We stood like that for a long time, his heartbeat steady against my ear, his scent surrounding me like a shield.
"Thank you." I said it into his shirt, my voice muffled but sincere.
"For what?" His hand stroked up and down my back, soothing and grounding, the motion repetitive and calming.
"For waiting." I pulled back just enough to look up at him, my eyes still wet, emotion thick in my throat. "For not pushing. For letting me come to this in my own time, in my own way. For being last so the others could go first."
"I would have waited longer." He said it simply, like it was an obvious truth, like there had never been another option, his voice steady with conviction. "I would have waited forever, if that's what you needed. The pack alpha goes last. It's how it should be."
"You might regret saying that." I managed a small smile, trying to lighten the moment, my voice still rough. "I'm told I'm very stubborn."
"I'm told I'm very patient." He matched my smile with one of his own, his eyes crinkling at the corners, warmth softening his features. "I think we'll manage."
When we finally emerged from his room, the light through the windows had turned to the deep gold of evening, painting everything in amber.
The others were gathered in the living room, their conversation cutting off as we appeared.
I knew they could smell it — Jae-won's scent all over me, concentrated at my throat, marking me in a way that the others hadn't matched.
I saw the recognition in their eyes, the satisfaction, the relief.
"About time." Hwan broke the silence first, his voice warm with approval, his eyes bright as they traced the mark on my neck, a knowing grin spreading across his face. "We were starting to think you'd keep her in there forever."
"Don't be jealous." Jae-won's arm settled around my waist, possessive but not restrictive, pulling me into his side. "You all had your time."
"We're not jealous." Jin-ho spoke from his spot by the window, his voice calm but his eyes soft as they met mine, something like peace in his expression. "We're complete."
I looked around the room — at Hwan's sunshine smile, Jin-ho's quiet intensity, Tae-min's bright hope, Min-jun's gentle warmth, Jae-won's steady presence at my side. Five alphas. Five bonds. Five pieces of something that finally felt whole.
"So." Tae-min bounced slightly on the couch, unable to contain his energy, his grin threatening to split his face in half. "Does this mean you're officially ours now? Like, for real? No more running?"
"No more running." I confirmed, and meant it with every fiber of my being, the words settling into my bones like a vow. I wasn't running anymore, I would face everything head on…even if there was still a small voice that told me that this could be a mistake.