Chapter 10 #2
“Thank fuck, I felt like a prize dick for a minute.” Then I remember she mentioned her grandparents were abroad. I just assumed they were on holiday.
“They kept this house in case they didn’t settle. They also wanted me to have a base when I came home.”
I follow her into the familiar living room.
We stayed here after Cal’s accident with the lamp post, except then, the place was totally un-lived in.
Now, there’s a TV in the corner which I didn’t notice before.
Still, I’ll never forget her grandad’s pretty awesome record collection and sound system in the display cabinet.
Another addition to the room is a single photo of Cal with her grandparents.
I recognise them but not the person standing to her left. She must be her mum.
We round the dark red sofa which sits in the middle of the room. Cal nudges the small white square table with a rug underneath out of the way with her knee, so we sit at the same time, but our hands stay linked.
The photo jolts my memory back to when her nan would drop off Cal in a large Volvo. I’d see them leaving here some mornings if I was passing at the right time. “What about your Mum?”
“What about her?”
“Isn’t she around?”
She huffs out a laugh. “She moved to Edinburgh last year to be with her man.”
“Cool. Do you like him? The new man, I mean.”
“I’m not really into spending time with them.” I don’t ask what happened or where her dad is. As far as I knew, he was never around. “So now you’re here, all alone for the summer.”
“I am.”
“That’s a shame,” I scoot over, pulling her close as something inside me kicks in.
She shouldn’t be on her own. What if something happened to her?
In fact, something already happened on the day we met up again.
After she bumped her head, she said there was no one to call.
She’s so alone right now, all I want to do is take care of her.
“What are you thinking about,” she asks as her head lays against my chest. My chin rests on the top of her head as I cradle her against me as close as possible.
“Just you and the fact you’re on your own, not just here but generally.”
“Don’t feel sorry for me, Ash,” her voice sings.
“I’m used to it.” She sits up, her beautiful eyes shining.
“I have my friends and Rosie is like a mother hen.” Her hand falls to my thigh.
“Hey, want a beer. I have some in the fridge.” She gets up, not waiting for an answer when all I want to do is scoop her up and tell her I’ll keep her safe.
But I can’t. I can’t guarantee anything right now because of fucking Dani Hill and her stupid fucking ideas about how fans will react and not being distracted from the music.
Surely it should always be about the music and not who’s performing, but what do I know. All this stuff is new to me.
Cal arrives back, two bottles of Stella in hand, and a glowing smile across her face.
Listening to her talk about her family makes me realise how totally independent she is, despite whatever feelings of protection I have towards her.
I know she can handle the truth, so it wouldn’t be fair of me not to tell her what’s happening with the band.
This girl has the sunniest outlook I’ve ever come across, which is why I decide to open up.
I think she might handle it better than I’m doing right now.
“Cal, can I talk to you about something?”
Her brows raise together. “Sure, something up?”
“You could say that. It’s about the band.”
“Have you agreed to sign with Bernie?” Excitement takes over her tone.
“We have a solicitor looking over things, but the record label threw in a few last-minute thoughts and to be honest, it could affect you and me.”
Now her brows knit together. “In what way?”
I take a deep breath, sit forward, holding the beer bottle with one hand and nervously peel the label with the other.
“I won’t have a lot of time to spend with you.
Not for the first year or so. They kind of expect us to put personal relationships on hold.
” Her eyes widen. It looks as if there’s a lump in her throat too. “They expect what?”
“Yeah, shit, right?”
“Can they ask that of you? Surely how you handle your personal life is your call,” she says, now sitting forward with me.
“It is, but I’ve been asking around. Remember Tyler Rogers from school?”
“Uh, huh,” she nods.
“He got signed last year with President Records. They have a similar thing, and he said it’s not unusual in the industry when you first start out.”
“So…” Her eyes dart to her hands.
“Look Cal, I know we haven’t been seeing each other long—”
Her hand falls over mine, stopping me from pulling at the label. “Is that what we’re doing? Seeing each other?”
“We have spent a bit of time together in the past couple of weeks. I was hoping we’d become something more than friends. Am I wrong?” I feel like the Calla obsessed sixteen-year-old all over again.
“No. You’re not. A little more than friends is a good way to describe us,” she says, squeezing my hand.
“The thing is, it looks as if my choices are limited.”
“In what way?”
“I’ve got decisions to make, which also affect my family.
My parents have been having problems for a long time now—years, actually.
Things got so bad; Mum turned up on my doorstep last week.
She’s finally left my dad. I’ve been putting her up for now, but I can’t see an end to it.
Mum can’t afford to get a place of her own, so it’s up to me to help.
I’ve got to look after her Cal, and right now my only option to make sure I can, is to accept what Election are offering; then I can give her everything she needs. ”
“I had no idea. I’m sorry, Ash.” Her other hand rubs over my back while her head dips to catch my eyes.
“I see your mum around, you know. She always looks so proud and strong. I can’t imagine her putting up with anything she wasn’t happy about, but then, you never really know what goes on behind closed doors. ”
“She probably doesn’t feel so strong, Cal. My dad is a difficult man to live with; he makes her miserable. He’s never treated her with the respect she deserves, and despite everything, she soldiered on. I just want to make her life better.”
“Then you have your answer. No questions,” Cal says, her mouth smiling although her eyes don’t follow suit.
I shift in my seat, one leg over my knee and hold my ankle, sitting sideways to face her.
Placing my bottle down, I take her hand in mine and play with her fingers.
“I don’t know where this leaves us, and if I didn’t have Mum to consider, I’d tell them to stick it, or at least have more negotiating power. ”
She huffs out a laugh. “Hey, don’t worry about it.
” Her hands now thoroughly cup mine. “You know what Ash, even if it was the case, I couldn’t ask you to give up a lifetime opportunity for me.
Our time together might be cut short, but we’ve had fun.
Even before you got the offer, we knew things between us couldn’t be long term.
At least, not right now.” She huffs, “I was always going to finish my degree, and you were either finishing uni or pursuing your music. If we were going to have something together, it could only ever be for now.”
“Maybe in your head, but it wasn’t what I was hoping for,” I confess honestly.
“Perhaps it’s time you looked at it that way. If you’re prepared to, we could still have our time, Ash. We could still have everything we want.”
Cal could be right, but the thing holding me back, more than anything else, is the thought of one day soon, saying goodbye.