Chapter 22 #2
“Too soon?” Scott asks, and I press my lips together, not giving him an answer. “It is too soon. I’m sorry.” Embarrassed, he walks out back, and I feel bad for making him uncomfortable.
I turn to Ash. “Was that mean of me?”
“Nah, Scottie’s got thick skin, he’ll survive.”
“I hope you’re right. We’re only just learning how to become friends again.” I take a breath then change the subject. “Anyway, what are you doing here? Missing me already?”
“You know it… and you left your bag at mine. I’m guessing you need it.”
“Oh God, I didn’t even realise it was missing,” I confess. “I’m just not the full can of beans today,” I say, rubbing my make-up free eyes. I couldn’t coordinate my hands to put anything on my face this morning. “Thanks for bringing it over. You didn’t have to.”
“Any excuse to see you.”
I bite my lip, head tilted to one side with excitement in my stomach. I’m momentarily taken back to our school days and remember how badly I fancied Ash back then.
“Pack it in you two. I’m not feeling the whole third wheel vibe today,” Scott says when he reappears. Ash was right. If I had upset him with my silence earlier, he isn’t showing it now.
“I’ll leave you to it before Miss Lee gives me a piece of her mind,” Ash says, looking around for my boss.
“Oh, you don’t need to worry. You’re one of her favourites,” Scott says.
“Yeah, I’ve noticed that too,” I chime in.
“I can hear you lot, you know,” Rosie shouts. “I don’t have favourites, although Ashton can’t help it if he was one of my best students.”
I lean over the counter and whisper, “Told you. Now who’s a teacher’s pet?”
Scott smirks and Ash holds up his hands. “I can’t help it guys. It’s like a gift.” Ash takes a few steps backwards, still talking but heading for the exit. “Coming to practise with me tonight?”
“Wouldn’t miss it,” I answer. “Pick me up at 6pm?”
“Can you meet me there? Bernie wants to start at 4pm. He’s booked extra rehearsal time
since we only have three days to go.”
“Will do. I’ll get there as soon as I can.”
“Done.” He gives me a wink, one that far exceeds Scott’s—which is how it should be. Scott is my brother. A fact I’m slowly coming to terms with.
“He’s really into you, you know,” Scott says while we watch Ash leave.
“I hope you’re right, Scott. I’m banking my future with him; I just hope we survive this next year. It’s going to be tough.”
“With the separation?”
“With everything. Being away from him, going back to uni, thinking about…oh, you don’t want to know.” I’m suddenly conscious I’m probably confiding in Scott too much. We’re still not quite at friends’ level, never mind brother and sister, but I have to say, his response is kind of caring.
“Hey, you can do it. Ash has had a thing for you for so long, he won’t screw it up now, I know it.”
I have to ask him, “And are you okay with everything now? You know, you’ve got over the whole school crush thing…you don’t see me like that anymore, do you?” I’m buttering a massive loaf of bread, so I don’t have to make eye contact.
“I’ve been fine with it for a long time, but then I’ve had longer to get used to this…you know, you and me, being related.”
I screw up my nose. “Yeah, I’m still finding the whole thing weird.”
“But you’re coming to terms with it?”
“I suppose so…I mean it will take a little time.”
“Hmm, I guess,” Scott says then cocks his head to the side. “Spoken to your mum yet?”
“Christ no. Honestly, Scott, you have no idea what a nightmare she is.”
“I do have an idea,” he smiles half-heartedly while putting the cheese and ham on the slices of bread I pass to him. I forget he’s a victim of our parents’ actions too.
“Yeah, of course you do.” I sigh, “Sorry. It’s just I don’t want to confront her, not yet anyway. I’m not ready to think about our parents’ part in this, do you know what I mean?”
“I think so, I suppose I’ve already faced up to them being together because I had to; otherwise, it would eat me up and spit me out. Do or die if you like.”
“You know, I think you’ve coped amazingly.”
“And you will too. Give it time.”
“I want to concentrate on Ash and me first. I’ve got all the time in the world to confront my mother, but I don’t know how long I have left before Ash goes away.”
Scott continues to add far too much cheese on the sandwich he’s making. I assume his mind is wandering, until he says, “Can you do me a favour?”
“Sure, anything.”
“Can you call your mum and try to talk things through because believe me, we don’t know what’s around the corner.”
I feel like the worst person in the world. How could I be so callous; forgetting Scott had lost his mum way before her time. “I am so sorry. I wasn’t thinking.”
“Don’t be. Sometimes it takes something so brutal for you to realise what’s really important in life.
” Scott shakes his head, still mindlessly adding cheese.
“You know, despite everything, Mum never wanted me to tell anyone about what happened. She was worried people would think badly of my dad. Stupid I know, he was in the wrong, but she loved him, probably too much.”
“That’s so sad.” I touch Scott’s arm, and it’s the first time we’ve made eye contact in a while.
“You know, she didn’t want me to tell you at all. Mum was so scared our family would be the talk of the town. She carried a lot of worry on her shoulders, yet Dad didn’t seem that bothered and was free from all this shit.”
“It’s not fair, that’s for sure.”
“Whatever you two are gossiping about, stop it now. Mr White has been waiting for his cheese sandwich for the last 10 minutes,” Rosie pipes up behinds us.
Admittedly, I didn’t notice her there and I’m pretty sure Scott didn’t either.
Rosie puts her arm around both our shoulders and brings us into her side.
“Save the heart to heart for later. I get it kids, but we don’t want to upset the locals.
They are, after all, our bread and butter, so to speak, when the visitors have gone home.
” She taps our shoulders, then heads out the back again.
“I better get this wrapped up,” Scott says, his mouth twitching into a brief smile.
I just nod and smile back. It’s weird how I see Scott in a completely different light. I feel for him, and I’m sorry for what his mum went through. She had a lot to deal with. I hope, at some point, I get to hear about the happy times they had. She sounds like she was a lovely lady.
Scott and I work like demons, dancing around each other all day and what with Rosie’s niece, Scarlett, helping with the washing up and Rosie on main meals, we’re quite the team. We’re so busy, in fact, I don’t realise my hangover has lifted, and I’m feeling pretty good by the end of the day.
Once we’ve cleared and hung up our aprons, I’m so ready to hit the sack, but I promised Ash I’d watch the band practice. My legs are about to crumble under me if I take another step, but a promise is a promise.
“See you guys tomorrow,” I shout as I’m about to leave.
Scott is taking the last of the rubbish out when he offers, “You’re going to the warehouse studios, right?”
“Yeah. The band are rehearsing there tonight.”
“Well, if you hang on a minute, I can give you a lift.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah, no problem. I’ll just get rid of these,” he lifts up the two black bags he’s holding.
Rosie looks over to me, her brows raised. She knows this is a bit of a breakthrough.
Once Scott has collected his stuff from inside, we walk to the back of the café side by side.
I cross my fingers, hoping our conversation won’t be awkward once we’re on our way.
“This is me,” he says light heartedly, pointing at the black Mini and opening the door on his side.
Thankfully, the awkward silence I was dreading doesn’t materialise.
Scott asks about my uni, then explains his plans after the summer and how he eventually intends to take a carpentry course.
The job at Rosie’s was only ever meant to be temporary, anyway.
I had no idea he was interested in learning a trade, but then, I’m still getting to know him and learning to like him.
We reach the warehouse in less than 10 minutes, but he’s saved my legs for sure. It would have taken me another 10 and then some on foot. Before I leave him, I have something I need him to know.
“Listen, Scott, I don’t want to go on about it, but the issues I have with my mum; they’re complicated. At some point, I will call her, I promise you, but I need you to know something first.”
“Go on,” he says with a questioning look.
I take in a deep breath. “It’s just, I don’t want you to think I don’t appreciate what you said to me earlier; about not knowing what’s around the corner. I get your point, but you have to understand, not all mums are as special as yours was. Some don’t want to accept they are parents at all.”
Scott sighs before he says, “I just want you to realise we don’t have as much time in this world as you like to think, but on the other hand, I also want you to be comfortable asking your mum.
If you’re not ready for her answers, then don’t do it.
” We sit in silence for a second then he grins.
“I’m still getting used to the whole brother thing.
Maybe I’ll hold back on the advice for now. ”
I smile towards him before getting out of the car and walking around to his side. When I get there, his window slides down. “Thanks for the lift, Scott.” I cup my hand on his arm now resting on the open window. “And thanks for the chat. It was good.”
“Yeah, it was,” he says looking pretty happy.
I wave as I say goodbye and head into the warehouse. When I get to the door, I’m surprised Ash is already holding it open for me.
“Where did you pop up from?”
“I needed a breather—good timing,” he half-smiles.
“You okay?” I ask, sensing something on his mind.
“Just nervous.” Ash pulls me into his arms and holds me there. “But I’m already feeling better now you’re here.”
“Hey, you’re going to be amazing.” I pull back and smile as the back of his finger brushes softly over my cheek.
“What would I do without you, Cal?”
“Luckily, you don’t have to find out.”
“You sure about that?”
I look at him side-on. Why would he say such a thing? “I’m positive.”
“Okay then,” he says, offering me his hand. Our fingers link, and while Ash guides me into the vast open space, I can’t shake the feeling, something has spooked him. I just have no idea what it is.