Chapter 19 – Goodbye
Two months passed too quickly. The pandemic persisted but did not reach the levels in their corner of Minnesota that it did in most of the country.
Getaway Lodge had guests but not the usual full-with-a-waiting-list occupancy, which no doubt helped keep the virus away.
When the weather cooperated, Nan and Kirsten served food outside on the stone terrace overlooking the lake.
There was a sign on the front door, MASKS REQUIRED.
Some customers complained, but Jim and Nan made no exceptions.
Comply or leave. They kept Billy and Kirsten on, even leaving them in charge for a quick trip down to Minneapolis to see their first grandchild.
As for cookouts with music, they had several more — enjoyed by everyone, and Robby got feedback on new songs.
He and Grace counted it among their best accomplishments when Kirsten went to Grand Marais one Thursday and enjoyed lunch and cherry pie at the Lakeside.
Though Billy and Kirsten were discreet, it was obvious they were becoming more than friends.
Marie was released from the hospital in late July with a long road ahead due to ongoing fatigue and reduced lung capacity.
Robby continued to help out with the boys, write songs, and reach out to Seth.
And Grace was gaining confidence in her ability to manage both a job and a relationship.
They enjoyed another weekend at the cottage on Minnesota Point.
And then it was two weeks till moving day.
And then it was the weekend before. Grace had asked for a week off from both jobs, the first time off she’d asked for.
Both editors said yes with no questions, just “Enjoy!”
Robby arrived late morning on Friday. Tuesday, moving day, he and Grace would drive to Duluth. The rental house was totally furnished, having been on both VRBO and Airbnb. All they had to do was buy food. Robby’s aim was to keep the move as simple as possible.
Grace was proofreading an interview when he arrived.
It was an unusually warm day for mid-September, and she had the doors and windows — the ones with screens — open.
Mosquito season was all but over, but she didn’t want even one hanger-on buzzing around her head at night.
She looked up as Robby walked in. “I’m almost through.
This is the last piece for a week. Can you believe it? ” Robby smiled. “There’s coffee.”
Robby got a mug and filled it. “I’ll be at the point.
Join me when you’re through?” She nodded without looking up.
He walked down the now distinct path, all the way to the water’s edge.
The lakeshore was lit with fall colors, the yellows of the birches blazing prominently, the maples hinting at the brilliant crimson to come.
One last burst of color before the long, cold winter.
He walked back to the firepit and sat in an Adirondack.
Quite the spring and summer, he thought, sipping his coffee.
It began with the packed end of the tour.
Then, exhausted, he met Grace in an empty Minneapolis airport.
Their relationship had been the defining theme of his summer, aside from almost losing Marie, which had drawn him back into his family.
For the first time in his adult life, music was no longer his sole priority.
“It’s beautiful, isn’t it? We don’t have anything like this at home.
” She sat in the chair next to him. “Jim says it’s going to be a spectacular show this year, and we’ll see colors from here to Duluth, but he’s holding firm to Tuesday.
He says this is the last gasp of summer, we’re in for a challenging winter, and I need to get out of here. ”
Robby looked over at her. His hair was down, thick and black.
He had on cut-offs and an old t-shirt from the Gulls.
He had worn versions of this outfit all summer, so his forearms, lower legs, and face were deeply tanned.
In contrast, Grace’s hair was a tangle of dark red twirls, and her skin, tanned for her but pale in comparison to Robby’s, was dotted with freckles.
She was wearing faded peach shorts, a pale green top, and was barefoot.
“He knows more about it than either of us.”
“Yes. I have no choice, but I hate leaving.” She was looking straight ahead.
“I know this is hard for you. I’ll help any way I can.” He reached out and put his hand with its long, graceful fingers over hers.
She looked at him then. “I hope I’m doing the right thing.”
“I hope it’s the right decision too, but if it’s not, we’ll come up with another.”
“Can we just play this weekend and not think about it? I don’t have much to pack — the food, my clothes, my laptop — and I can do that on Monday.”
So they had fun doing things they had enjoyed over the summer — paddling, laying on rocks, hiking to the waterfall where they made love and were glad to have the sleeping bags.
They cooked out and sat around the firepit.
Robby played, but there was no accompaniment and no harmonies.
Kirsten and Billy were back in school. The closer it got to the end of the weekend, the heavier the shadow of ‘last times’ became, until Grace broke under its weight late Sunday night.
They were in bed, and Robby held her. He’d known this would happen but had hoped not this soon — tomorrow when they started packing or even Tuesday as they were leaving.
He was surprised by the intensity of her sobs.
It reminded him of how she’d cried at the wayside the day he met her.
There was still so much locked away. So much that Grace seemed determined to keep that way.
She wouldn’t talk and they both slept badly.
Monday, she went about packing like an automaton and was abrupt whenever Robby spoke to her. He was near the woodstove. She was walking toward the closet.
“Grace, we have to talk.”
“No we don’t.”
“Why are you acting like you’re mad at me? What have I done?”
She stopped, turned, and looked at him with a blank expression. “I don’t know. I don’t know why I’m acting like this. I don’t know anything anymore. I’m just putting one foot in front of the other to keep going.” She walked off.
He followed her into the closet. She was bending over away from him collecting shoes and other items off the floor.
He looked at her back. “Is it that bad, the thought of moving to Duluth? Moving in with me? Is that not something you have the least bit of positive motivation for? I understand the sadness of leaving here, but why can’t you look forward to what’s ahead?
Help me understand what’s going on, because I don’t. ”
She stood up and faced him. “I don’t know what’s going on. I don’t think it has much, if anything, to do with you. I feel aimless, rudderless . . . a lot like I did before the separation from my ex-husband. It has that same feel. I don’t know why, I just feel this way.”
“You’re shutting down. Overloading. Try to breathe. Step back. It’s not the time to change course now. You — we — will get past today. The days will get good again. You’ll see. You just need to get through this short stretch.”
“I’m not sure I can.”
“What do you mean? You have to. You have to move out.”
“Yes. I have to do that. But you’ve always said if I couldn’t move into the house, there were options. I’m thinking about options.”
Robby felt the bottom dropping out, like a plane suddenly losing altitude, and he couldn’t get to the controls. “You’re not making sense. We’re getting along better than ever.”
“I don’t know. Something’s changed. I don’t know what. Or why I feel this way. But I do.”
“Grace, what are you saying?” Everything seemed to slow down, get thicker. He felt like he was trying to run toward her through thigh-high water.
She could see the anguish in his eyes and hated she was causing it. She couldn’t bear looking at him. “Robby, you’ve got to get out of here. I can’t go with you.” And then her voice broke, and she was crying. “Go now! Please!” She turned away, not bearing to look at him.
She sat down, hugging her knees, at first sobbing, then just sitting there, rocking back and forth.
She didn’t know when he left. When she stood up, she could tell by the light it was late afternoon.
She didn’t feel anything. She just wanted to leave, get out of the cabin, get out of Minnesota, and the only place to go was home .
. . the place she’d waited so long to leave.
***************
Robby drove down the Trail in a blur. Numb.
It had fallen apart so fast. Part of him had wanted to hold her.
Part had wanted to shake her. But the largest part was too stunned to react.
He’d just walked out. He turned right in Grand Marais and left to his house and remembered none of it except calling Billy at the bottom of the Trail.
He didn’t explain and Billy didn’t ask. He just said, “Grace needs a ride to the airport, and I can’t do it. ”
“Okay. I got it, Robby. Where are you?”
“Going to my house.”
“You need me, you call me, anytime. I’ll come right away. And I’ll call Jim now. We’ll take care of the rest.”
“Thanks.”
When he drove up to his house, he thanked God.
Marie’s car was there. She wasn’t working yet and stayed at his house when she needed more rest than she could get at home.
He went up the deck stairs and into the kitchen.
She was in the sunroom, but the door was open, so she heard him.
She stood up immediately and came into the house. He’d stopped next to the island.
“Ohhh God. What’s happened?” He looked at her and shook his head. She came to him, put her arm around his waist, and they walked to the red sofa. They sat there till he could talk about it.
Later that evening, the sun about to set, they were in the sunroom, and Robby agreed to a plan.
Dog was outside on the landing again. He came often for no apparent reason, as if he were just checking.
Marie had decided he would be part of the plan.
She went home for the night and came back in the morning with her suitcase, a collar, a leash, and dog food.
She and Robby packed up and caravanned to the house in Duluth. Dog rode on the seat beside Robby.
Marie stayed in Duluth the rest of that week.
When she left, the house was stocked with food, sheets, and towels.
She, Robby, and Dog had walked the neighborhood countless times.
Dog had been vetted, vaccinated, pronounced to be a 131lb.
, four-year-old male of undetermined breed, and had visited the nearest dog park.
People were hesitant around him, but other dogs loved him, especially a playful, galloping female Goldendoodle named Riley.
The dog park was the one place where Robby smiled.
Marie left Saturday morning, saying she and the boys, including Russell, would be back in two weeks, but she would check on him every day.