8. April 10, 2023
Cherry
“This is ridiculous,” Cherry said in frustration. “I can’t do this.”
“Yes, you can,” Flame assured her. “It will be good for both of you. Maybe it will give you a chance to work out this malarkey once and for all.” Flame smiled as big as the men had earlier as she helped fold and pack the clothing she’d ordered and had rush delivered.
With a sigh of what sounded like jealousy, she admitted, “There is nothing better than a fake marriage, one-bed trope. I love writing those stories the most.”
“You and TB should go. You don’t have to pretend to be in love.”
“Yeah. No. Number one, we don’t know your family friend.
Number two, TB stands out like an ogre in a bar filled with daisies.
Number three, I’m eight months pregnant.
The beach ball here”—she placed a hand on her stomach—“is still kicking my booty almost twenty-four seven. Only thing I can hold down with any certainty is ice cream. Not very honeymoon-ish if the bride is constantly puking.”
Dread welled from the bottom of Cherry’s feet up to her stomach, making it roll, then continued up to the top of her head.
She hadn’t even given a thought to the sleeping arrangements.
Could she possibly convince Zion to give them separate bedrooms?
What excuse could she give since they were posing as newlyweds?
He snored? She snored? None. Absolutely none.
In addition, they’d have to act like a newlywed couple everywhere they went, especially in a place as romantic as St. Lucia. She sat on the edge of the bed and crashed backward, a hand covering her eyes. “Jesus, take the wheel!”
She felt pressure on the mattress beside her. A soft touch on her thigh made her tilt her head up to see the other woman’s back, her head turned in profile.
“Do you love him, Cherry?” Flame asked.
She sighed. “It’s complicated.”
“No, it’s really not. Not if you’re honest with yourself. Let me put it this way. It’s a yes or no question. Do you love him? What if he became seriously ill after you were together? Would you leave him for it, or would you stand by his side, even if he never recovered?”
“I’d never abandon someone just because they became ill.”
“Isn’t addiction considered an illness?”
She remained still, the queasy feeling returning as she anticipated where the conversation was going. “Yes,” she admitted reluctantly.
“What about if something happened to him on a project? What if he died? How would you feel then?”
“Devastated,” Cherry whispered.
“Exactly. I wonder if you wouldn’t feel worse than I would if something happened to TB.”
“But you adore that man!”
“Oh, I didn’t mean I wouldn’t be bereft or that I don’t love him.
I do undeniably love him. But the one consolation I would have is that I had him for a little while, which is better than never.
Right now, the two of you are suffering needlessly.
Think of all the time you’re wasting holding him at arm’s length.
And all over something that, in the grand scheme of things, is essentially all wrapped up in when it occurred. ”
Cherry sat up beside Flame, gripping the woman’s hand in hers.
“You know I don’t feel this way about you, right?
Never once have I looked down upon you. I adore you, and I’d miss having you in my life as a friend.
Please believe me, I would never hurt you intentionally.
But something holds me back from him, and this is what I always seem to latch onto. ”
“First off… I know you hold me to a separate set of circumstances. Do your comments still hurt my feelings? Yes. I can’t deny that. But after a while, I find my Zen and let it go. There’s no point holding onto it. And I’ve never let TB know, so don’t stress there.
“As far as Demon goes, assess whether it’s worth holding onto this irrational fear you have about loving him, because that’s exactly what it is. Fear. The pills are a distraction, and he will give them up, but not until he’s ready. Should you have to be the one who bends the knee? No.
“He strikes me as being a lot like Nemo, and I probably know that man-child better than anyone, except maybe Gem. Both need someone to have faith in them. Someone special to them. You’re Demon’s someone.
” She got up from the bed. “If I could give you one piece of advice, it’s to love him for who he is.
Love him for how he treats you. It’s what I had to do with TB because heaven knows that man is a trial and tribulation some days.
Like that grumpy giant does for me, I know Demon does a great deal for you.
And Gem is not wrong. He’s dying inside. ”
“I’m not sure I’m strong enough to do what you’re asking.”
“And that’s how I know this isn’t really about the pills.
It’s about something else altogether. So, whatever that is, the two of you clearly have something far more serious going on.
” She began unbagging more clothing and packing it into Cherry’s suitcases.
“Okay, you go pack your toiletries, and I’ll finish here.
You’ll have just enough time to get down to the debriefing, and then I’ll have a quick few minutes to say goodbye to TB, and maybe him not being home will help me get this book done before my deadline. ”
Thoughtful of what Flame said to her, Cherry crossed the room to her bathroom and began packing up her makeup and hair products. Packing her carry-on items into her clear travel pouch, she remembered the day they chose Demon for Tribe.