Chapter 23
Gage
Despite my best attempts, I’d somehow been sucked back into modeling.
Once again I was in jeans and a basic T-shirt—black this time, because that was all I had clean. Logan had dressed similarly, only on him, the black T-shirt hugged him in all the right ways, and he looked delicious.
Or I could have been projecting now that I knew what was underneath the clothes.
It had been only four days since I’d spent the night with him.
I still felt a little…It was hard to describe.
It was like Logan had opened a door I hadn’t realized was an option?
I mean, yeah, I’d offered to bottom, but I hadn’t expected to like it.
I’d thought if there was ever a chance of me being willing to try, it was with Logan.
I’d never expected the experience to rock my world. He’d robbed me of sense, of words, of anything but sensation. I’d been completely lost in him, vulnerable yet safe in a way I’d never been with anyone. Ever. I’d never felt freer or more seen.
I still rode that emotional high, trying to put it into this new framework I’d been given, and Shanice and Ami wanted me to do suggestive poses with him?
Was this some form of punishment?
Logan, on the other hand, was looking around at Shanice and Ami’s setup. They had the usual array of light boxes, drop cloths, props, et cetera. Logan’s hair hung loose around his shoulders and I hadn’t shaved, at their suggestion.
Girls liked beards, apparently.
Or at least these two did.
Almost accusingly, I muttered, “You look entertained already.”
“This smacks of roleplay,” Logan explained, still looking around with interest. “And that’s one of the things that drew me so strongly into DnD.”
This now made much more sense.
Ami clapped her hands. “Done! All right, gentlemen, assume your positions.”
Since she had the movable wall set up, I figured that was first. “Who do you want pinned?”
“Actually, can we do it both ways? I have a scene in my head where your character pins the other, just to turn the tables.”
“Ah-ha.”
Logan’s eyes bounced between the two of us, an inquiring look of What now? on his face.
“This is easier to show than explain.” I seized him by the hips and turned him. “I’m going to back you against the wall. Give ground, okay?”
Logan’s lips pursed for a moment. “You realize I have ornery in my DNA and that’s going to be hard to manage?”
“Why do you think I’m asking? Fifteen seconds, and we can reverse it.”
He shrugged as if to say Yeah, fine.
I glanced at Shanice, but she was already behind the camera and giving me a thumbs-up.
Showtime. I backed Logan up against the wall, or tried to.
He frowned but gave way, and you could tell he’d forced himself to move.
This position was supposed to be done using intimidation factor alone, but yeah, Logan wasn’t the type to be intimidated.
When his shoulders hit the wall, he grinned. “I don’t think this is working.”
I laughed. It certainly wasn’t.
“Sorry, I guess I’m not in character?” Logan offered a contrite smile to the camera.
Ami rubbed her mouth, clearly trying not to laugh. “We might have to scrap that scene, Shanice.”
“It was hysterical watching them try, though.” Shanice backed away from the camera for a second, grinning at us over it. “I know from experience that trying to do this with Gage won’t work much better.”
“Stubborn is also in my DNA.” I shrugged because that was the truth. “This barely worked with Asher, and that was only because Asher’s more easily intimidated.”
“Right, so let’s work with your personalities instead of strict poses. I feel that might be a better route.” Ami pursed her lips, eyes narrowing as she thought hard and fast. “Gage, what’s a little trick that softens Logan instantly?”
Logan snorted, amused. “Not sure if I have one of those.”
Oh, he did. Funny how he didn’t seem to realize it.
I gave Shanice the look of Man the camera! and she immediately ducked back into position. For this to work, I couldn’t give an obvious setup. I turned, subtly positioning myself so I faced Logan more directly.
He quirked a brow. “What?”
With gentle fingers, I smoothed back some of the hair covering his ear and leaned in, slow and deliberate. Just so I could place my lips on the skin right under his ear. I heard his breath catch, felt him sway a bit more into me, and knew I had him.
I also heard the camera going off like mad.
Pulling back, I looked first at his face, and his eyes were a bit glazed before he sharply focused again.
“That,” he said, words a bit garbled, “was not cheating fair.”
“Don’t have a switch, huh?”
The look in his eyes promised retribution for my teasing and gave me warm tingles. Couldn’t wait.
“Working with couples is so much better.” Ami’s voice had a dreamlike quality. “You’re so natural with each other.”
Shanice shot us a gamine grin. “Don’t worry, I’ll send these to you later.”
They might live as my phone’s wallpaper for a while. Just so I could further tease him.
“Logan, question for you. Can you lift Gage?”
We were practically the same size, and while I knew he was strong, I wasn’t a lightweight by any means. “I doubt—”
“Sure,” he said, cutting me off.
I froze. Sure? Eh, what? “Why are you so confident?”
“Well, I’ve picked up my friend in an emergency, and he’s way bigger than you, hon. If I can lift Nate, you’re going to be easy.”
Then, without even a by-your-leave, he swooped in and picked me up in a princess carry.
I scrambled, wrapping my arms around his shoulders for balance, huffing, different emotions warring in me.
On the one hand, surprise was right there at the top, because holy hell, he was absolutely correct.
This wasn’t even much of a strain for him!
On the other hand, being held was kind of uncomfortable. I felt displaced in the air.
“Gage, bear with me another second,” Shanice begged. “Drop your head to his far shoulder so your face is hidden.”
Eh, okay. I did as bid but that didn’t feel comfortable either. Clearly I wasn’t the damsel in distress type.
“Okay, good!” Ami said. “Logan, you can set him down.”
“Naw, I like him up here.”
He was clearly getting payback for earlier, but two could play this game. I blew a raspberry against the side of his neck. Logan busted out laughing, almost dropping me, but he did set me back down.
I had a feeling Shanice had also caught those actions on camera, but that was a fun picture I’d like to have.
“What else is something you’d naturally do?” Ami asked.
“Well, I mean, we’d have to go outside for it, but I did bring my bike?”
They both lit up at Logan’s suggestion, which made sense. They’d dubbed him biker god.
“Outside!” Shanice said the word like a call to the battlefield.
Ami immediately grabbed a reflector screen.
Apparently, we were moving this outside.
By eight o’clock that night, they finally said they had enough shots to work with. I hauled Logan back to my house, escaping while the escaping was good.
We’d had an early dinner before the shoot, but I wanted munchies after being in front of a camera’s lens for hours. So I offered as we came in through the front door, “Beer, popcorn?”
“Beer definitely. You hungry?”
“Just feeling snacky.”
He followed me into the kitchen, but his phone rang and he answered it while accepting the beer I handed him. “Heya, Nate. Whazzup?”
Oh, same Nate who he claimed he’d had to lift?
“Yeah, man, I close on it Monday. Party?” Logan tilted his head like he wasn’t sure where the GPS was taking this conversation all of a sudden.
“What do you mean, party? Oh. You got me there, man. It absolutely should be celebrated. Where? Yeah, sounds perfect. No, my day manager has it covered, I can do a Sunday. Hey, uh, want to meet my boyfriend? Yeah, that boyfriend. Why you acting like I got multiple men on the line?”
I threw popcorn into the microwave, but I paid close attention to Logan’s conversation. What was I being volunteered for?
“Sure, sure, what do I bring? Hardy har har, aside from Gage. All right, sounds good. See you there. About noon? Cool.”
He hung up, staring at the phone with a perplexed look. “Well, Gage, wanna meet my friends on Sunday?”
“Sure. Only fair, since you already met mine. What’s that look for?”
“It’s, uh, my friends heard I’m closing on the building, and they want to celebrate. I just…didn’t expect that.”
I sensed insecurities lurking. “Why wouldn’t you celebrate it? Sweetheart, you’ve worked yourself into the ground for years to be able to buy that building. You’ve sacrificed, dreamed, saved—all to have a place of your own. That’s absolutely worth celebrating.”
His eyes met mine, and for a second, he seemed overwhelmed, the look in his eyes that of a lost child. “Is it? I thought stuff like that was taken for granted.”
“Absolutely not.” I had a feeling his bastard parents were behind this attitude, and I mentally aimed a kick in their direction.
“When we finally got done renovating our office, we threw a massive party, had friends and family from all around join in. It was tremendous fun but also an acknowledgment of how hard we’d worked.
Logan, there’s nothing wrong with celebrating your success. ”
“I know, I’m not saying otherwise.”
Yeah, my encouragement didn’t have the impact I wanted. I worded it differently and tried again. “Don’t chase success so hard that you forget to take joy.”
My words stopped him dead in his tracks. He paused, right there, and slowly lifted his head to look at me. “Take joy. Is…is that what I’m doing? Forgetting to actually enjoy what I’ve worked to achieve?”
“Seems like it. You wouldn’t be so flummoxed over a party otherwise.”
“Ha! You’ve got me there.” His brows furrowed into a pensive line.
“Damn, maybe I need to call my therapist back up, work through that. I just realized this is very much a holdover from my upbringing. If I got good grades or a trophy from a sport, that was expected—the least of what I should be doing—and I was always kind of ignored no matter how well I did. I think the only one who ever celebrated me was Grandma.”
It wasn’t enough to mentally aim kicks at his parents. I started wishing other things for them instead. That they’d perpetually step on Legos, their noodles were always soggy, and their steak was always burned to a crisp. May they be as miserable as they deserved for the rest of their lives.
“Fortunately”—I drew him in closer, hugging him to me—“you’re surrounded by people who love you to bits and want to celebrate your wins.”
“Yeah.” His voice sounded a touch hoarse as he leaned in, resting his forehead on my shoulder. “Fortunately, I have the best friends in the world, and a boyfriend to give me a gentle slap on the back of the head when I need it.”
“Was that what my words were? A gentle slap to the head?”
“Felt like it.” He sighed gustily and settled in harder. “Some cages don’t have bars, you just carry them around in your head. Your advice kicked one of the bars out.”
“Good. I’m glad it helped.”
“In that case, I’m definitely going to party it up on Sunday.” His head came back up, and this time his smile was tender. “And show you off. Finally found me a man who’s a keeper, and I’m going to show the world how much I appreciate you.”
“You taking joy with me, eh?”
“Yup.”
The strength this man had awed me, his ability to recognize where his issues were.
Look at him, he wasn’t even letting it slow him down.
He’d just bulldozed past the insecurity, not letting his hang-up from the past drag him under.
I felt sure adjusting his mindset wasn’t easy, and he’d likely need therapy to work through the issue more, but he was game to.
“You amaze me,” I murmured, carding my hands through his hair, just because I knew he loved the sensation. “You don’t let anything hold you back. Not shitty parenting, not mistakes, nothing.”
“As someone once said to me, the best advice in the world is to go on. All advice, at its root, boils down to those two simple words. It stuck with me. I’m not interested in dwelling on things that made me unhappy the first time.
I’ll work through it, or around it, but I’m not wallowing in the past.”
Resilience. That was what he was—resilient. I thought that was also in his DNA, along with the stubbornness. Thank god for both. Otherwise, I doubted I’d ever have met him. He’d have been as fully lost to darkness as Cooper was now, and our paths would never have crossed.
I kissed him, soft and gentle, and felt him smile into the kiss. “Thank you for being you.”
“My line, Gage,” he said hoarsely. “That’s my line. Thank you for being you. You take me as I am, shortcomings and all.”
“Just don’t try to princess carry me again and we’ll be fine.”
He busted out laughing. “You really hated that, didn’t you?”
“It felt soooo uncomfortable. I do not get why girls like it. I think I prefer picking people up over being picked up.”
“I’ll remember that for next time.”
“Wait, why is there a next time?”
“We’re not going to do more photoshoots? I had a blast.”God help me.