Chapter 17
17
CARRIE
It feels odd stripping down to a bikini in front of my client but since everyone else is doing it – not to mention it would look wholly ridiculous were I to jump in the sea fully clothed – I peel my dress over my head, then follow the others down to the concealed swim platforms at the back of the boat.
The children are first into the water – Noah and Toby jumping in, the other two being guided and carried by Ella and Alisha, Sanza inside a rubber ring. There’s a yell of ‘Cowabungaaaaaaaaa!’, then an almighty splash as Joe does a running bomb into the water from the dive board on the fly bridge. I try not to notice his rainbow-striped Speedos that couldn’t be flattering on anyone, though I do chuckle when he asks Henry to hand him a Mexican sombrero, which Joe places on his head, much to Noah’s amusement.
As I watch Joe front crawl to share the joke with his aspirational, gorgeous family, I realize Henry has moved to my side.
‘He’s always like this,’ he says, dipping his head in the direction of Joe.
‘It’s admirable to be able to work as hard as he does and remember to enjoy life,’ I say.
I witnessed my parents work incredibly hard to give me the very best platform they could to build my own life and career, but my childhood often felt cash rich and time poor. My parents stayed together, through years of bickering and misery, to save for my future, rather than making happy memories.
I shake my head, no longer laughing, and I don’t know why I tell Henry, ‘I wish I could take a leaf out of his book.’
I almost threw away everything my parents gave me once.
I cringe when I realize that Luke has stealthily made his way close behind me too, and I can only guess he heard my moment of… self-insight? Weakness? Either way, I don’t like it. I don’t want him to feel like he knows anything about me. Maybe he did seven years ago. Today, he’s nobody to me. A total, complete, utter?—
Why must he keep being topless around me? Stupefying me with his naked, obscenely attractive torso?
Whoa . Proverbial slap across the face.
I need to cool off, shake him off, remember what he did to me, how he left me.
I also happen to like the way Henry is looking at me in my bikini. For some peculiar reason, he seems to be interested ? Even if that is true, the feeling isn’t reciprocated, despite his good looks and kindly flirtatious manner, but I do like the confidence boost he’s giving me. It’s diminutive, but I’ll take any enhancement to help counter the ever-present feeling of rejection I have when I’m around Luke.
Screw him. I could be fanciable.
I’m standing on the edge of the platform, building up to jumping in the water, suddenly hyperaware of my posture as I turn to smile at Henry.
Luke makes a show of checking his watch. ‘Are you going to dive in, Carrie?’
Yes, actually, I am. All grace, all poise. I lift my hands above my head, suck in my tummy, stick out my butt, bend my knees slightly and?—
‘Or are you too scared to commit?’
Me?
What the actual fuuuuuuuuck…?
Oh God, the pain hits my torso like a truck has been dropped on my stomach as I slap, tummy first, off the concrete ocean.
Shitake, shitake, shitake.
That absolutely effing killed.
That dick.
That smarmy…
I surface from my blunder, trying to wear it well and pretend that my entire upper body is not in agony, only to find Luke near peeing his board shorts, he’s guffawing so loudly. His hands are on his knees and he’s folded forward.
‘Are you okay?’ Henry asks, clearly fighting his own amusement.
Damn it, I thought he was in my corner. Now the only guy to flirt with me since, like, 1993 is mocking me too.
‘Totally. Why wouldn’t I be?’
I can barely breathe. It. Hurts. So. Bad.
I take deep breaths, my back to the boat and the others already in the sea, treading water that I can appreciate is gorgeously warm as the pain of my belly flop begins to recede.
When eventually I start to feel more human than peanut brittle that just got whacked by a sledgehammer, I turn back around to face the catamaran, where Luke is standing on the edge of the dive board, bouncing gently. Then, arms up, torso pulled delectably taut, he propels himself into the air, summersaults, knees tucked to his chest, then straightens and dives like a bird after fish into the ocean, barely making a splash.
‘What an absolute di—’ Suddenly a rubber ring with a contented child and its mummy are at my side. ‘—plodocus.’
Ella laughs. ‘Don’t worry, Sanza isn’t properly talking yet.’
I put a hand across my mouth. ‘Sorry. I know you guys are close. I don’t mean to…’
Well, actually I do mean to badmouth Luke, I just wouldn’t have done it in front of Ella, in an ideal world, where belly flops and insanely egotistical men don’t exist.
‘We are. He’s like the sibling I never wanted, though.’ She chuckles warmly. ‘He’s spent a lot of time out here with us, especially when…’ She looks at me in a way that makes me feel like she’s considering her next words. ‘He’s had low times.’
I wonder if she means after he got divorced. It makes sense now how he and Alisha would have met. I wonder how long they’ve been together. They seem to play off each other, as if they’ve known each other forever. If I didn’t hate Luke, maybe I’d even think their banter is sweet.
The conversation also reminds me that I did once – through other connections – see that Luke was working in the Caribbean for a while, in one of the big accountancy firms that has offices out here. Not that I wanted to see that information, and I tried my best not to, but that would have meant disconnecting from most people in the Finance world on LinkedIn.
‘Show me two siblings who don’t also think the other one is a diplodocus sometimes,’ Ella adds.
I’m still laughing with her when Luke front crawls past us, fleetingly throwing me a wink that, in turn, makes me want to throw up in my mouth.
When he gets to Alisha, he pops up on her shoulders and dunks her under water and I think maybe that belly flop has done lasting damage to my insides because they really feel tightly knotted, twisted and contorted.
I spend the next hour swimming, snorkeling, feeling like an idiot for not being able to drive a sea scooter and hold my breath underwater at the same time, and dipping in and out of conversations with the others. Oh, and ending up in a splashing war with Noah and Toby, who only relent when Luke – much to my annoyance – saves me by sending them both a tidal wave.
There are moments when I forget I’m here for work, that there’s a huge storm brewing and very possibly heading our way in forty-eight hours, and that I’m not part of this group. It feels nice to feel part of something more.
I’ve never had loads of friends. Growing up, I never felt like people got me. Until Luke. It was as if every corner of me somehow fit his sphere when we spoke. The allure of him was more than looks or chemistry; it was something I couldn’t place, and less resist. Then it was gone and I was a square in a round world again.
If only Callum and Eddie could be here and I weren’t trapped in paradise with the man I despise more than anyone else on the entire planet.
When we’re rounded up to get back on the boat, I hang back, floating around on a noodle until everyone else is onboard. I might as well savor it because I’ll be flying home as soon as Joe confirms the plane for me tonight.
Reluctantly, I swim up to the platform and climb the metal steps. At the top, I follow Henry’s feet up to his outstretched arm and take his hand as he helps me up.
‘The shower’s just there,’ he says, inclining his head.
I nod. ‘I remember.’
As the crew prepare to set sail, I close my eyes and lean my head back under the shower, rinsing the salt from my body and hair.