Chapter 41
41
CARRIE
I can barely hear Luke above the sound of the helicopter that’s now so close, it’s bringing down something like a hurricane of wind, dirt blowing up from the ground around us, as if we haven’t had enough of late.
‘I can’t hear you!’ I shout to Luke, despite being less than a yard away from him.
I don’t know what I was expecting but I didn’t expect this week to end like this. Rushed. Too quick. Unplanned. It’s not like I knew what I would say to him at the end of this week. What I would have said at the beginning of the week versus now are probably quite different, yet neither would be fully correct or true to how I’m feeling.
Because I’m feeling like I am glad that Joe manipulated me into being here.
Like I don’t hate Luke anymore. Quite the opposite.
Like I miss him already and I’m standing right in front of him.
But also… like it can’t count as serendipity if Joe arranged our meeting after all these years. It wasn’t the universe sending us a message, or even chance.
And I don’t know how I’ll feel when I get back to New York. What I’ll say to Rachel, how I’ll explain this. What Callum and my mom will think if, after all the hours I’ve spent down about Luke leaving me previously, I tell them I want him back.
Closure . That’s what Callum told me after I slept with Luke.
It was just closure.
I’ve worked hard to set the record straight and get my life and career to where they were just a week ago.
But when Joe just whispered in my ear that the one thing money can’t buy is true love, my mind went straight to Luke.
Luke yells his words again, leaning closer to me as the helicopter descends to the helipad. ‘I said, can I bee too en I get pack to New York?’
I glance to the fast-whirring propellers, to the door that’s opening and the pilot who’s giving a thumbs-up signal to Joe.
‘I can’t hear you!’ I virtually scream in order to be heard.
Then Luke is looking at my mouth, and I’m staring at his, and I’m willing him to kiss me but I’m also reticent because Joe Hettich is right across my shoulder. So I thrust my arms around him and he squeezes me tightly against him.
Then we part and all I can think is, That’s it. That’s how this ends. It’s how it has to end because… because… because of my job.
I’m running to the chopper with one bag as Luke jogs with my suitcase and hoists it inside. My job? Is that it now? Is that all that stands between Luke and me and potential happiness?
At some point, I’ve climbed inside the helicopter and someone has put earmuffs on me and strapped me in and I’m staring out of the window as the helicopter starts to rise. I don’t need to wipe my cheek to know that a silent tear is rolling down it.
We’ve explained the past away. We’ve apologized to each other for our mistakes.
Luke holds up a hand from where he stands in front of the others down below. I press my fingertips to the window, wishing I could touch him.
Now, he’s running back toward Joe and taking something from him and there’s a voice in my headphones saying, ‘Carrie, Luke is on the radio for you.’
Then…
‘Carrie? Can you hear me?’ It’s Luke’s voice and I’m being handed a radio from someone in a seat opposite me, who’s demonstrating for me to hold down a button on the side as I speak.
‘Luke?’
‘Carrie, I’ve thought about what I was going to say as you left all day and I— Damnit, when it came to it, I just froze.’
I exhale, my words breaking. ‘Me too.’
‘We could have died this week. I could have seen my last sunsets here with you.’
The thought of that makes my tears fall harder.
‘As if seeing you wasn’t enough, the disaster we’ve been through this week has shown me that life’s too short to not at least try to be happy.’ The image of him is blurring now, shrinking to the size of an ant as my ride moves away from Charithonia. ‘I don’t know how many sunsets I have left, Carrie, but I know that I want to spend as many as I can with you.’
His words catch on my next breath. I know exactly what he means because I’ve had the same thought this week, more than once. I squeeze my eyes shut, willing myself to be rational, not emotional. To remember what’s real, off this paradise island, away from Hurricane Isabel. ‘I know, Luke.’ I sniff. ‘But you’re my client. I’ve worked so hard?—’
‘No, Joe is your client. Hettich is your client.’ His words are urgent. I wish I could see him but he’s gone. All I see is the island and tropical waters surrounding it. ‘I’m just some guy who works for them, Carrie. Some guy who is crazy in love with their tax advisor.’
In love? My eyes shoot open, landing on the woman opposite me, the one who strapped me into my seat and handed me a radio. The one who is smiling at me as she hears every word of my conversation.
‘I wish that were true, Luke, but we’ve been here before. I’ve been here before. We risked everything and it went badly.’
The woman’s smile fades.
‘Not this time, Carrie. Because my head is straight this time. I know exactly what I want. What I’ve wanted for the last seven years. Longer. Before I even knew it.’
‘Luke—’
‘That’s you. Only you. I loved you from the moment I was born; I just hadn’t met you yet. So if you tell me the only way for us to be together is for me to walk away from Hettich, then, Joe, I quit.’
I hear Joe in the background, clearly now with no sound of propellers around them. ‘Didn’t like working with you anyway,’ he shouts, making me giggle.
‘I’ll do whatever it takes to make this work,’ Luke says, and I can hear the sincerity in his voice.
‘Including having no money?’
‘I don’t need money. I’m in love with a woman who earns plenty of it.’
I laugh this time. ‘Couldn’t you have told me this before I took to the skies?’ I tease, unable to keep the smile from my voice.
I hear Luke’s amusement. ‘Tell me I can see you when I get back to New York and I promise to tell you to your face. I promise to tell you every day for the rest of my life how much I love you.’
‘Okay.’
‘All right now.’
I’m giggling and smiling so wide, my face aches. ‘So I’ll see you in New York next week?’
‘It’s going to be the longest week of my life.’