Chapter 25
25
After delivering these words and feeling the relief that came with having got them off her chest, Lucie was all set to turn on her heel and walk away from Miles, but something about his expression caused her to stay.
His face seemed to soften, his shoulders sag, and he looked her in the eye with an almost pleading expression.
‘What’s up?’ she heard herself ask with much more sympathy than she had expected to use.
Miles didn’t exactly run his hand through the recently applied hair, but he sort of felt and patted it in an exasperated way.
‘Look… I’m sorry,’ he began. ‘There was a lot going on in the final months of… well, the business, the divorce… and I may have lost track of some of the details. I honestly didn’t realise you were still paying that card… I thought, God… Well, I don’t know what I thought. There are still a lot of payments and bills going out. Things are far from sorted out. But obviously you shouldn’t be paying that bill.’ He looked appropriately embarrassed. ‘So give me the details when you’re back home and I’ll take it over.’
‘Thank you…’ She paused, totally surprised by how quickly he’d climbed down over this and wondering if there was anything else he wanted to add.
‘And what about the office block?’ she prompted.
‘It’s registered overseas,’ he admitted, ‘under a different holding company. The reason I kept quiet about it was because it was financially under water when we split and would have added another ￡300,000 or so to our debts if they’d come for that too.’
‘Right… So are you wanting me to thank you for your amazing financial acumen?’ was her heavy-on-the-sarcasm reply to this.
‘No… no, of course not,’ Miles said. ‘Not after everything I’ve put you through. But that office block has come good. It’s back in credit and we should sit down and work out what share you should get of the rent going forward.’
‘Probably half,’ Lucie said, determined to stand up to him.
‘Yes… probably half.’ Miles seemed to agree without any big debate. ‘You know, the funny thing is that I asked everyone I could think of to lend me money so I could keep paying the loan when it was in the hole… I literally went through all my contacts, even my old address books. Two people came through for me and one was Clark Patterson, remember him? Your old work colleague… I only met him once or twice back then…’
A jolt of nervous tension shot through Lucie at the mention of Clark’s name.
‘He’s done well,’ Miles went on. ‘Runs a big architectural and building development company now. He hadn’t heard from me since before we got married, but he heard me out, saw the opportunity and put up the cash. He’s here, by the way, you should say hello.’
‘Oh… yes… right…’ she said vaguely, hoping she’d covered any sign of her feelings.
‘So, yes, Lucie, I’m sorry about everything that happened and I will square up with you, I promise,’ Miles said.
‘Thank you. I’m sorry too,’ she added. ‘And, honestly, I am glad you’ve found someone to be happy with.’
There, she’d said it and she meant it. Surely that was enough talking with Miles. Surely she’d done her bit and they could both head back to the party.
Miles paused. He seemed to be thinking and choosing his words carefully, considering what he should or shouldn’t tell her, then he said, ‘I do love Jacasta…’
‘I’m happy for you,’ she said, but a little coolly. Really, she wasn’t the one who could gush over this.
‘But she’s so young,’ he added, looking somewhat unhappy at the thought.
‘Yes… she is.’
‘She wants a baby.’ He shrugged. ‘I’m really not sure about all that… and I hate her taste in music. No offence to Deva, but that song…’
Lucie couldn’t help a small snort of a laugh.
‘And oh my God, the influencer life,’ Miles complained. ‘This whole wedding. It’s pretty much a business expense, all done for the clicks and the affiliate links to buy stuff.’
‘Oh…’
‘She makes me feel very old sometimes,’ he admitted. ‘I’ve got to look good, tanned, with the hair and the teeth. I’ve got to go jogging. I’m even wearing’ – he looked properly embarrassed now – ‘man Spanx under this suit.’
Now Lucie laughed.
‘Man Spanx? I didn’t even know they existed, but I’m all for equality,’ she joked. ‘And they’re working. You’re looking pretty trim.’
Miles pinched at his side, pulled the fabric away and it made an audible twang as it snapped back into place.
‘She’s got you under the thumb, Miles. I am delighted for her. I’m sure it’s doing you a lot of good,’ Lucie said, feeling a burst of amusement.
‘I’m only allowed to drink at the weekend,’ he added with a shake of his head. ‘Anyway, how are you doing?’ he asked. ‘Really? Not the airbrushed answer.’
She took a steadying sip at her glass. ‘Getting it together,’ she began. ‘I won’t stay in the flat forever, but it’s good to be close to Dad.’
‘And how about him? How’s it going?’ Miles asked with such a sympathetic tone that she felt her eyes tearing up.
‘He’s not got long…’ she managed. ‘Which is incredibly sad. Because I’ll really miss him.’ She swallowed and blinked hard because she didn’t want to break down in front of Miles, because then he’d have to put his arm around her and that would probably make everything worse and she just didn’t want that scene here in front of potential passing guests.
‘I’m really sorry,’ Miles said gently. ‘I always liked your dad.’
‘He doesn’t like you,’ she said, mainly to take herself from the verge of tears.
Miles put his hands up. ‘Deserved,’ he said. And he followed this up with, ‘And what about Zoe? She’s doing OK, isn’t she? Seems to have picked a nice guy.’
‘Have you met him?’
‘No… but she keeps telling me it’s going to happen.’
‘He’s coming here, tonight. Last-minute change of plan. Wants to be with her and… meet the family…’ Lucie didn’t want to spoil her daughter’s news. ‘I think they’re making good plans together,’ she said.
‘Well… I know you might not want this straight away, but can we try our best to be friends? For Zoe’s sake and for our sake too.’
‘Yes, Miles. You sort out the credit card bill and my share of the office block payments and we can definitely work on being friends.’
He held out his hand for her to shake.
As she took it, he said, ‘Nice to talk to you, Lucie. And thank you for all the good years.’
That gave her an unexpected lump in the back of her throat.
‘Yes, well… Congratulations, Miles, I hope you and Jacasta will be very happy. Just be honest, be open. That’s all that matters in the end.’
He gave her a long look. She wasn’t quite sure what to read into it – regret, sadness, relief, annoyance, nostalgia – maybe all of those things, because she felt them all too.
‘Enjoy the evening,’ he said.
‘Yes… you too.’
Her phone in her hand buzzed with a message, and when she looked down it was Zoe:
He’s here! Come to the front of the house!
And now, with a jolt of excitement, nerves, expectation, she made her way to finally meet the man that Zoe had chosen.
As Lucie passed through the garden, she saw Deva and tapped him lightly on the arm.
‘Want to come and meet Rafi with me?’
Because it seemed perfectly right that after their adventures together Deva should be there too.
‘Of course,’ he said, so together they walked out of the garden, through the beautiful building and out to the wide, lit-up driveway at the front.
There, a taxi was pulling away and a tall, slim, young man, dark-haired, Middle Eastern looking, undeniably handsome, all suited and booted with a backpack and a small suitcase was walking towards Zoe. She was hurrying, as best she could in her pink kitten heels and heavily pregnant state, towards him, arms out, calling his name.
As they reached each other, they didn’t hug and kiss; instead, they held out their hands and took hold of them and looked into one another’s eyes. Then, to Lucie’s surprise, Zoe began to kneel.
‘Oh my God! She’s going to propose,’ Lucie whispered to Deva.
Rafi was laughing and trying to pull Zoe up, but when it was clear she was determined and not going to budge, he went down too, so they were both kneeling right there in the dust and gravel of the driveway.
Words were exchanged and smiles and laughter and, judging by Zoe’s eye wiping, also tears.
And then they kissed and hugged over the top of her bump.
‘Well… what do we think of that? Looks like they’ve both said yes,’ Lucie murmured, feeling quite weak-kneed at the emotion of it all. She might be a fifty-two-year-old divorced woman, but she certainly hadn’t forgotten how it felt to be young, optimistic, full of love and full of hope that everything would turn out wonderfully.
‘That is very nice…’ Deva said. ‘He does look like a super nice guy, but my A-dar is picking up the vibes…’
‘Your what?’
‘My A-dar, my autistic radar… The way he holds himself, the hints of overwhelm, touches of awkwardness… I can’t quite describe it to you. I just get the vibes, even from here. And from what she’s said about him, of course. It’s a spectrum,’ Deva added when he saw the anxious look on his aunt’s face. ‘Best to know you’re on it and learn how to manage yourself rather than thinking you’re just “weird” and don’t get people and can’t seem to do anything right.’
‘You think Rafi is autistic?’ Lucie spluttered.
‘We prefer “neurodiverse” these days, and honestly, it is everywhere. Where do you think the expression “black sheep of the family” comes from? Almost every family has a bit of neurodiversity going on. As I say’ – Deva gave a shrug – ‘best to know. Best to figure yourself out and learn the tools of the neurodiverse trade. And on that note, I really need to retreat to my room, get my headphones on, the tunes on, process the last hour or two and chill. Say congrats to them from me…’
‘Yes, of course…’
Just before he turned to go, Deva had one more question. ‘Auntie L?’
‘Yes?’
‘Will you take me back to Brive? To the convent?’
‘Yes, of course. I am going to spend one day and night at my beach hotel, so we’ll go on Monday. And we’ll visit Fikru and Pete too.’
‘Perfect. Turns out my mum, if she’s still talking to me, has booked us to stay on here for three nights before we fly home. So Monday is perfect. Thank you. And I can take the train back from Brive, so you can carry on driving. In fact, I want to take the train back from Brive.’
And with a swish of Chanel lace over the gravel, Deva strode towards the front door.
Lucie stood where she was. She thought Rafi and Zoe might want some moments together before she approached them. In fact, she decided to take out her phone and snap a few pics of them from a distance. Here they were, beautifully dressed, beaming with happiness at one another in this gorgeous, floodlit driveway. She held her phone steady and snapped a few frames.
Then, hand in hand, Zoe and Rafi turned and began to walk towards the house, catching sight of her as they approached.
‘Mum! Hello, meet Rafi, my lovely fiancé!’
Everyone dissolved into smiles and laughter at those words.
‘Hello, Rafi, and huge congratulations to you both!’ Lucie said.
Rafi held out his hand for her to shake as Lucie cast her eyes over him and tried to work out everything she could from just looking at this man who was about to join her family. Tall, handsome, quiet, gentlemanly, he didn’t look entirely at home in that dark suit and white shirt, but he didn’t look entirely uncomfortable either. He’d picked a nice tie, she saw, navy blue with a subtle white dot pattern. It was a bit mumsy, but she couldn’t help noticing that his shoes were well made and spotless. All this spoke to her of a man who cared about the details, someone who knew how to look after himself and would help to look after both Zoe and their baby.
He had a nice smile. And he felt like a quiet presence, but not as shy or uncomfortable as she’d maybe suspected. He seemed like a grown up, his own man, when she’d expected a troubled computer geek, someone Zoe would have to care for and cajole and rescue. This was all promising, very promising.
And Zoe, tucked in under his arm, radiated sheer happiness.
‘This is lovely, lovely news,’ Lucie told them. ‘I am so happy for you both. Are you going to announce it here? Let everyone know?’ she asked, knowing that for now, all those other questions – When? Where? Before the baby is born? After? Could wait until the couple had spent some time thinking them through.
Rafi and Zoe exchanged a look before Zoe said: ‘No! Absolutely not! We’ll tell Dad tomorrow, no stealing any limelight from his big day. I think we should just go in, say hello and maybe have a dance, Raf… Are you up for that?’
Rafi smiled, shrugged and looked at Zoe as if he couldn’t possibly refuse anything tonight.
‘OK, lovebirds,’ Lucie said, ‘you lead the way.’
So there was Lucie, holding a fresh glass of something. The waiter had pressed it into her hands. It tasted strong, a vermouth-based cocktail, she guessed. Woosh, it seemed to travel straight to her head. Maybe for some people the night was still young, but she was beginning to feel about one thousand years old and as if she doubted she could last another ten minutes here in this marquee. She pulled up a chair at a deserted table and for a few moments sat alone, sipping at the drink. The lights were dim and people were mainly dancing close, like Zoe and Rafi over there, or talking in little huddles away from the speakers.
Her eyes were drawn back to the dancefloor – Miles with Jacasta, Rafi with Zoe, other couples she had known during her married life, who’d managed to stay close, stay together. Oh no, she couldn’t help thinking to herself, I’m going to be that faded middle-aged lady who sits alone on the sidelines at parties, feeling a bit sorry for herself… feeling that the glory days are all behind her.
She decided she shouldn’t do that.
She should get out of there, with the remains of her cocktail, into the garden and either find someone interesting, or at least amusing, to talk to, or go and admire some artful arrangements of lighting and flowers. Maybe she should take an upbeat selfie and post it on her Instagram account. Maybe she should take that upbeat selfie and post it on Tinder… or whatever the singletons were using these days.
Another swig of cocktail, then she set a smile on her face, tried to shrug off the lonely faded-lady thoughts and stepped out of the tent and round to the quieter part of the garden along the side, where she’d seen some tables and chairs set out earlier.
Out here, it was full of flowers and pretty, dimly lit with fairy lights and small lanterns on the tables. Quite beautiful really. At first, she thought no one else was there. Then she saw there was one lone man, sitting at a table, a single glass on the tabletop beside him. He turned his head at her approach, almost as if he was waiting for her.
And it was Clark.