Chapter Nineteen #2
Forcing myself to exhale, I make a noise loud enough to pull Giles’ eyes up from where my jeans are open and to my face.
His eyes have changed colour again. They’re darker, and the green flecks seem to have swollen and taken over the blue.
It’s like they’ve transformed from the surface of the sea to the depth of the ocean and I suddenly feel like I’m drowning in them.
“Are you okay? Do you want me to touch you? To suck you?” he asks, his voice husky and rough.
I’m nodding before I’m realising that’s what I’m doing.
I came here full of determination and focus.
I wanted to explore the feelings I’ve been having.
I wanted to test the attraction I’ve felt grow and grow for Giles.
I wanted to see if it was something more than a new silly hyperfixation or a mid-life crisis.
And I do want all those things. But as I look down into his ocean eyes, I realise there’s something I want more.
Giles. I want Giles.
I want this big, burly man with his endlessly kind eyes and a frown of concern that deepens as I keep him waiting for my answer.
Bringing a hand to his head, I comb my fingers through his short hair and his eyes close at the sensation.
“I want you to touch me, and fuck, yes, suck me,” I say and I shift my weight so my butt is off the bed. Smiling slowly up at me, Giles pulls my jeans down.
Moving my hand to pull down my boxers with the jeans that Giles has yanked off my legs, he looks up and flashes me a stern look.
“No,” he says with the slightest pout. “Not yet.”
“Are you telling me you give head with underwear still on?” I say, only half-joking.
“I’m saying again that I want to go slow.”
“Slow,” I repeat. “I hardly do anything slow. Apart from run.”
Giles laughs heartily as his gaze drops back to my crotch and his hands are on my thighs again.
“Remember to stop me if it doesn’t feel good.”
“I will.”
And then he does the last thing I expect.
He buries his face in my groin and sniffs, inhales, consumes my scent.
His nose pokes through the cotton of my boxers and against the sensitive skin that lines the crease where my leg and hip meet and he pushes further into me as he takes in another deep inhale.
Thank God I showered and the Tube wasn’t a total sweat-fest.
I’m about to ask Giles if he likes what he smells but then his hand moves under his neck and brushes up against my cock.
I nearly jolt back but manage to stop myself from jumping.
For all the many times I’ve fantasised about this happening, about Giles’ big hands on my dick, I suddenly feel unprepared for the reality.
But as both of his hands spread against my inner thighs, I tell myself to calm down.
I tell myself to not worry about the fact that I’m not yet fully hard – a fact that has more to do with my nerves than anything else – and I remind myself that I can stop this at any time. Giles told me so, at least twice.
But I don’t want Giles to stop. Especially not when he uses his palms to push my legs wider apart and he inches closer to me, taking up the space he creates.
Leaning back a little, he looks down and then up at me again.
“Okay?”
I nod. Words feel too difficult. Maybe because, like there often are, there are just so many thoughts bouncing around my head.
Does he expect me to be hard? Does he want me to be hard?
Will he like my penis? What if he takes one look at it and changes his mind?
What if he changes his mind after licking it?
Maybe I taste bad? Did I eat any fruit in the last twenty-four hours?
Isn’t that what you’re supposed to do for oral sex?
Oh, God, does Giles swallow? Will he swallow me?
Am I supposed to come? We didn’t talk about that…
Shit, there’s so much we didn’t talk about and Giles was trying to talk but I shut him down because I was so eager and now I’m not eager. Now I’m just very, very scared and…
“Marcello?”
My attention snaps back to Giles. “Yeah?”
“You look like you went somewhere, in your head.” Giles’ brow crinkles questioningly.
“Yeah, I kinda did.”
“Care to share?” Giles sits back on his heels but keeps his hands on my inner thighs, the gentle pressure surprisingly soothing.
“Do you like to swallow or spit?” I blurt.
To his credit, Giles barely blinks before replying. “I don’t mind swallowing.”
“Okay, but if you don’t like my… flavour. You don’t have to.”
“Noted. Anything else you want to ask me?”
“Do you… Do you enjoy giving head?”
Giles’ moustache quirks as a wide smile stretches across his mouth.
“Very much,” he says and warmth instantly floods my groin, so much so that I wonder if he can see my dick swell in my boxers. I can certainly feel it.
“Okay, that helps.”
“I promise you, Marcello. I’m not doing anything I don’t want to do.
” He holds my eye contact and I believe him.
And I am pleased. My shoulders fall from my ears and I feel my weight sink into the bed a little more.
The endless questions quieten down and I’m back in the room.
Back with Giles who’s looking at me like he really is exactly where he wants to be.
I bring my hand to his head again, happy to see his eyelids fall once more as I run my fingertips across his scalp.
“Then suck my cock, Giles,” I tell him with every expectation of him laughing off such a direct order, but Giles’ eyelashes flutter, his mouth falls open and his hands twitch on my legs.
“Do you like that?” I ask him. “When I tell you what to do?”
“I do,” he says shyly before clearing his throat. “Not that that’s exactly ideal for sex lessons when I’m supposed to be the teacher.
“Hmm,” I muse. “I could still tell you what I like. And I could maybe do it in a sort of… bossy way. Would that be okay?”
Giles lifts up off his heels, eyes shimmering and eager. “Yes, that would be very okay.”
“Okay,” I say and make a pleased humming sound and lean back a little with my hands on the bed.
“Say it again,” Giles says as his thumbs stroke my skin, just shy of where my boxers end.
“What?” I say, teasing because I’m almost certain I know what he wants me to say.
“What you want me to do,” he prompts.
“Take my dick out of my underwear and suck it,” I say, surprised my voice is as low as it is. “And suck it good.”
Giles stays still long enough for me to get a quick glimpse at his pleased smile but then he moves. He leans forward. Eyes down. Hands up to the waistband of my boxers. And the tip of his tongue swiping across his bottom lip.
I can’t remember anyone ever looking so keen to suck me off and I plan on treasuring this, should I never have it again.
I will do my best to stay out of my busy thoughts and focus on Giles who is pulling my boxers down my legs like he did my jeans and discarding them like they’re something offensive.
And then… oh, fuck, then he wraps his hand around the base of my dick and squeezes. Hard. So hard I close my eyes and bite my lip as my head falls back.
“Oh, no, Marcello. Open your eyes,” he orders.
I do.
“This is part of your lesson. You have to pay attention. I want you to watch this. I want you to watch me take this big dick all the way into my mouth and down the back of my throat.”
Oh. Fuck. Yes.