EPILOGUE
March
‘The front page?’
‘The actual front page?’
‘Oh my God! Cover girls!’
Niamh, Laura and Deirdre are raising their glasses of champagne and hooting as I hand them each a copy of the April edition of Northern People .
No, I did not know that sneaky devil Grace Adams was planning on putting us on the front cover. She’d kept that to herself. Maybe I should’ve guessed when she had insisted on a professional photoshoot back in January, and we had been treated to hair and make-up when we arrived.
She invited me into her office earlier today to get my hands on the magazine ‘hot off the press’. I should’ve realised, perhaps, that’s not normal practice either but look, I’m learning. This is all still very new to me.
‘Now, I don’t want you to be mad,’ she’d said when I arrived and I immediately told myself to take a deep breath and not let my thoughts immediately spiral to some unholy place as is my usual habit. Dead-dog-gate being the perfect example.
‘Why would I be mad?’ I asked.
‘Well, personally, I don’t know. I wouldn’t be mad if it were me.’ Looking very shifty indeed, she’d handed me a copy of the magazine and I had gasped.
Right there, on the cover of the special edition to mark forty years of Northern People , were my friends and me, grinning widely, arms all linked together, with the strapline, ‘Welcome to your fabulous forties!’ across the cover.
I gasped. We looked good. Real. Not airbrushed beyond recognition. I was grateful for that. But good.
‘The cover?’ I’d asked, eyebrows raised.
‘It’s such a good piece, Becca. It speaks to all us women, no matter where life has taken us. It’s a positive representation of life as you age, without ignoring the challenges that come with it. Peggy is over the moon about it. Truly. She said to tell you that you’re welcome any time to go back.’
‘That’s very lovely of her. She’s a real star.’
‘She is,’ Grace said. ‘But so are you. This inspired me to sign up for the next retreat. And talk to my own friends about reclaiming our fun selves again. My friend Daisy and I have already booked for Paris. We’ve always wanted to go but never did. I read this and thought, “We’re not putting this off any longer.”’
I smiled. No, I grinned. I felt like I had just been given the biggest, brightest Star of the Week certificate at primary school assembly.
‘The girls will die!’
‘They seem like so much fun,’ Grace said. ‘When you manage to get your regular meet-ups going, let me know. I wouldn’t mind trying them out myself.’
I’d nodded. ‘I will. We will. We’ve lots of ideas and we’re just pulling them all together now.’
‘Great! I can’t wait to hear the details.’
* * *
I had practically floated out of her office and had FaceTimed Conal as soon as I reached my car.
‘I am going to enjoy telling everyone my girlfriend is a cover star,’ he’d said with a grin, ‘I might tear off the cover and stick it up on my bedroom wall with Blu Tac.’
‘You’re an eejit!’
‘Yeah, but you love me,’ he’d replied, and I smiled. Because I do. I do love him and he loves me too. I don’t doubt it. I don’t question it. And he’s helping me start to believe that I do deserve to be treated well.
My mother and Mrs Bishop have said they will buy a copy in every shop they find it in. I’ve made them promise not to make Uber trips just for that reason.
‘I’ll do what I want,’ my mother said. ‘I’m allowed to be proud of my daughter, you know.’
I think we both cried, though we did our best to pretend it was just allergies.
I haven’t shown Adam or Saul yet. The boys are coming home this weekend for a break. I’ll show them then. If I see them. Adam and Jodie will be joined at the hip. Adam can’t wait to get home in time to accompany Jodie to her next hospital appointment, after which they are planning to start shopping for some of their baby essentials. Whereas Saul is bringing a friend back to show him the sights and sounds of Derry. I’ve not met this friend, who goes solely by the nickname of Wigan, before. I’m told he’s ‘great craic’ and that he and Saul are going to seek out digs together once Adam moves back. It’s very reassuring to see Saul make new friendships, and to know that he will have people to rely on without the safety net of his twin on hand.
For now, though, I’m toasting my girls and it feels so lovely.
‘Sixteen-year-old you would be proud,’ Laura says. ‘That’s a big one ticked off the list. Published in a glossy magazine. So what’s next? Marrying David Duchovny?’ She raises an eyebrow.
‘I have my own real-life David Duchovny, don’t you know,’ I reply, and she makes fake sick noises. But I know she doesn’t mean it. She’s delighted for Conal, and for me.
‘Well, since we’re celebrating,’ Niamh says, ‘I might as well let you in on my news.’
We all look directly at her, knowing that she has been deciding what she wants to do about her no longer fulfilling career.
‘I’m going back to teaching,’ she says.
‘What?’ I am confused. Very confused.
‘Only until next year. I’m going to look at the early retirement pathway, and while I’m still teaching I’m going to do some learning of my own too. I’m going to train to be a yoga and wellness instructor. Particularly focused on women.’
‘Oh, wow!’ Laura says. ‘That’s amazing.’
‘It is. I’ve already been putting some feelers out. I’ve been speaking to Peggy, actually, about what I want to do. I want to do whatever I can to support us all, particularly through menopause and beyond. Sixteen-year-old me didn’t have that plan in her letter because she was daft as a brush, but me now – that’s what I want for myself. To feel as if I’m making a difference and not just getting buried under admin or being terrorised by Year 11.’
I am so incredibly proud of this woman. ‘You’re amazing,’ I say.
‘You really are,’ Laura echoes.
‘Since we’re making announcements,’ Laura says, ‘would you mind if I added to the list?’
‘The more the merrier,’ I say.
‘Good!’ she says. ‘Well, I’m taking the money from the sale of Mum’s house and I’m going back to school too. Deirdre has been giving me a little guidance behind the scenes. I didn’t say anything before now because I didn’t know if it would be doable, but it looks like it is.’
‘Back to school?’ I am incredulous. The Laura I know did not particularly like school the first time. She couldn’t wait to be done.
‘Women’s Studies,’ she says. ‘I’m going to study my passion for a bit, and because I can for a while. There’s enough money to cover my loss of earnings for a few years, so I’m going to prove to myself that I can. I know I don’t need to. I’ve done well enough without it. But I think Mum would approve. And I know I want to.’
‘Oh, Laura.’ I feel suddenly emotional, thinking of her taking on such a challenge.
Glancing down at the magazine cover again, at our smiling faces, I think I can’t wait to see what comes next.