9. Chapter 9
Chapter 9
Juniper
M y stomach was in knots. It shouldn’t have come as a surprise that Rachel got sick. This was her first real winter, ever, so it was only a matter of time before her immune system realized it didn’t know what the hell was going on or how to handle the increased likelihood of colds spreading around. I hadn’t gotten a cold in ages, thanks to spending the bulk of my time alone, but I wasn’t worried about catching it myself. The moment she told me, I grabbed some zinc for both of us—as a preventative for me and to shorten her cold—and I became mindful of my vitamin C intake.
But I was worried about her. There were too many horror stories of winter colds turning into something more fatal for my liking, and I’d spent enough time in a hospital for the two of us. I wouldn’t wish that on her, or anyone, not even the people who betrayed me, and thus I detested the most.
As I stared at my tincture bottle on the kitchen counter, I zoned out. I must have been standing at the counter for far too long—the process typically only took a few seconds—because Sasquatch stared up at me expectantly, eyes wide and curious why I was still there, staring at the bottle and not actually taking my morning dose.
Sasquatch nudged my right leg with his snout. It snapped me out of my train of thought. “Thanks, buddy.” I tilted my head to the right, then to the left, letting it crack each way.
I went through the motions after that: a quick stretch, strapping Sasquatch into his vest and then making our way out the door. Bounding straight for the mailbox, Sasquatch was unbothered thanks to his fur and boots. He was smart enough to know our routine by now. Even with several layers to keep warm, the chill cut right through my clothes.
Before I moved into the ski lodge, my mailbox was in the bottom row of a shared box. If I gave Sasquatch the key, which I’d retrofitted onto a stick so he wouldn’t accidentally swallow it, he could unlock and open it, hand me the stick, and then retrieve my mail with minimal slobber.
Now, the mailbox was a normal, singular box made of lacquered cedar wood with a vintage ski on either side of the post. The red flag and the wood popped against the snow surrounding us. Since I didn’t need to bend over and risk hurting my back, I didn’t need Sasquatch’s help to fetch the mail anymore. But I could tell he truly loved it, so whenever I opened the box, I let him jump up to grab it in his mouth to hand to me.
“Thanks, bud.”
I shuffled through the mail as we walked back to the lodge, and I saw some misplaced for Edgar. The Elk’s Head had its own box, but occasionally, the mail people decided it was close enough. At least I was on my way there anyway to pick up the order I requested he whip up.
Not for me. For her.
Maybe I’d died and a much kinder soul had taken over my body.
Since I wasn’t in the mood to potentially bump into any customers at The Elk’s Head, I went in through the back, cutting through the kitchen to reach Edgar directly. Through the window, I could see only one couple seated at a table against the back wall.
The cook and server didn’t acknowledge me as I made my way through the kitchen, just the way I liked it. Edgar was in the back with a pen between his teeth as he reviewed some paperwork. He chuckled and shook his head when he saw me.
“I’m getting you a hair net for Christmas,” he said by way of greeting.
“Sorry. I’ll call OSHA on myself if it makes you feel better.”
“You’ve got it tied back today, so you’re passable. Here.” He placed the to-go bag on an empty counter space near us. “How’s she faring? She’s much nicer than you, so Mia and I miss her.”
“For fuck’s sake, Edgar, it’s been two days.”
“And you acted like someone pissed in your cereal all day Friday and yesterday.”
“Yeah, well, maybe Sasquatch did.”
“Yes, the highly trained service dog relieved himself in your cereal bowl. How believable.”
I rolled my eyes as I grabbed my wallet and paid. “Thank you. Keep the change.” Then, I dropped his mail on the counter. “Also, not to add to your stack, but this was in the mailbox for you.”
“Thanks. Before you go, I’ve seen some reporters swarming around. I’ve even had a few morning crews come in for breakfast now and then. They think I’m stupid, but I know they’re not here for the food.”
I huffed. “Wonderful.”
“With it getting closer to opening? Don’t be so surprised. I reckon it’s a good thing, but I know you hate the news like my daughter hates spiders. One of them even emailed me this morning about the lodge. I ignored it, but I think the local news has caught wind of the fact you own the place now and they really want an interview.”
I frowned. “Who told them?”
“Nobody, I reckon.” Edgar shrugged. “Property records like that are public. Someone probably saw the lodge got picked up, got curious, and then saw your name.”
I sighed. “Shit. Everyone wonders why I’m an asshole until they read an article about me. But I’m used to them forgetting I’m an actual person with feelings and a right to privacy at this point. They’ve pestered me my entire life, and they’ve been like fucking roaches ever since the accident. I finally thought I’d shaken them off.”
He offered me a sympathetic smile. “My daughter would read all those tabloids about you and I’d just tear ‘em up. Always thought they were unfair to you.”
I appreciated his solidarity. “I’d offer her an autograph, but it’s probably worth fuck all these days.”
Edgar laughed. “On the contrary, but I’d never ask that of you.”
“Wait, on the contrary?”
“Buddy of mine asked if it was true if you worked here. Said he’d pay hundreds for your signature. He collects baseball cards and all sorts of other sports memorabilia. There’s a whole market for that, you know.”
“Oh. Joy.”
“If the lodge ever gets strapped for cash, you could always sign some goggles and peddle them out there.”
If it weren’t for the shit-eating grin on Edgar’s face that let me know he was joking, I’d have walked right out. “Yeah, and I’ll kiss babies on the forehead while I’m at it like I’m the God damn Pope.”
“Are you leaning on Rachel? You should be.”
I nodded. “I’ve been putting this part of it off, but yes. Once I’m ready, I’ll let her kick things into high gear.”
“Ready for what? If you’re waiting to be in the right headspace, forget it.” He shook his head as he started preparing some eggs for the morning. “Believe me, if I waited until I was emotionally ready to do anything, I’d be stuck in bed all day, staring at the ceiling.”
That sounded familiar, but I wasn’t about to admit that out loud.
“Let her do her job and take the leap,” Edgar said. “You’re the name, but she can be the face of the lodge if you really want.”
“I don’t want anyone to be the face of anything. Especially if they connect her to me. Even since retiring, I’ve still managed to end up on these weird listicles of the hottest single male athletes. Rick sends them to me every time, no matter how much I tell him I don’t care. The scrutiny she’d face simply for existing in the same building as me… I don’t even want to imagine it.”
“How protective of you. Who are you, and what have you done with Juniper Hart?”
“You know, I asked myself that same question this morning.”
“So, when are you going to ask her out?”
“I’m sorry, what?”
“You heard me.”
“She’s my employee.”
“So? I see the way you look at her,” Edgar said. “Don’t think I don’t notice whenever you two come in here for breakfast, giving each other heart eyes when you think the other isn’t paying attention. And not for nothing, but your average boss doesn’t nurse a sick employee back to health.”
For the sake of my argument, I maintained my composure. “We’re friends. I’m worried about her. That’s all.”
“Are you friends, or are you coworkers?”
I scoffed. “Both, I guess? Is that a problem?”
“No, no. If anything, you further reinforced my point.”
“Being friends with a coworker is one thing, Edgar, but taking her out is a whole other ball of wax.”
“You’re not denying my claims, you know.”
“Yeah, because I’d prefer it if you don’t spit in my food.”
Edgar barked a laugh. “I will anyway. Extra flavor for my favorite customer.”
“Oh, great! Just how I like it.”
“So, why not?”
“I’ve seen how dicey shit can get when you date a coworker. Allison went out with this girl for a while who also had Rick for an agent. It ended up in a disaster and shit was awkward forevermore. And not for nothing, but after my last girlfriend turned out to be a backstabber, in more ways than one, I’m not exactly ready to jump into the sack with anyone.”
“When did you break up?”
“About four and a half years ago.”
“Oh, come on, Juniper. Give me a break. Besides, Rachel doesn’t strike me as the type.”
Edgar was right—these were nothing more than excuses based on the walls I’d built and had no interest in tearing down. It felt like Rachel was climbing them without even realizing it, inching her way closer and closer to the depths of my heart. I wanted her to bulldoze right through them. Another part of me wanted to build them higher.
“It’s for her own good, anyway. Scrutiny, remember?”
“Whatever helps you sleep at night. Tell her I said I hope she feels better and I hope she enjoys her pancakes.”
“Do you spit in hers, too?”
“No, no. Just yours.”
I shook my head as I grabbed the bag and turned to leave. “Excellent.”
When I reached Rachel’s room, I knocked on her door three times with two knuckles. I heard footsteps shuffling before Rachel answered. Her baggy gray sweatpants rested on her hips low enough, when paired with her long-sleeved T-shirt, it revealed a sliver of soft midriff. My eyes trailed to it as I felt overwhelmed by the desire to run my fingers across her bare skin, curious how she’d feel to the touch.
“Juniper! Hey!” Her voice was almost muffled by the disposable blue mask she wore, covering her face below the eyes. After a few days, it felt good to hear her voice again and to see her up and about, and I forced myself to look at her face before I let my thoughts trail off too far. She looked paler than usual, but that sparkle was still in her eyes, acting like a spotlight for all of her expressions.
“How are you feeling today?”
“A lot better compared to yesterday. Thank you again for helping me out.”
“Get some rest today, too,” I said as I held up the bag in my hand. “I brought you breakfast from downstairs, including plenty of fruit for vitamin C.”
“Thanks.” From the way her eyes squinted as she took it, I could tell she smiled. “I’d invite you in, but I don’t want to get you sick.”
I nodded once. “Understandable. Take all the time you need to feel better, okay?”
“I should be good to go come Monday. But I appreciate that a lot.”
“Did your fever break yet?”
“I took my temperature this morning. Finally under 100.”
“That’s a relief. Do you need anything else? I can take you to the doctor or call one out here if you need it.”
“Thank you, but it’s seriously no biggie. I’m probably at eighty percent. What’s got you so worried?”
As I shrugged my shoulders, I shifted my weight onto my other leg, causing my right hip to crack. “These winters can be brutal if you try to go it alone. People die, Rachel, and I’d much prefer it if you didn’t.”
“It’s just a cold.”
I smacked my lips, feeling embarrassed. She was right, but a part of me couldn’t help the lingering fear. I wished I had an answer for her other than an anxiety that crept up at the mere idea of a near-death experience. Maybe this was some residual effect of the snowboarding accident.
But I definitely wasn’t ready to unpack all of that, especially as I stood in her doorway, staring at her brown hair that sat in a messy bun on top of her head. I realized I’d never seen her without makeup until now, and also she didn’t even need it with her naturally wide eyes. Maybe it was because she wore a disposable mask, but I saw everything in her gaze: curiosity, reassurance, and something I couldn’t identify that made me simultaneously shrink and want to reach for her.
Not only was I unwilling to unpack my anxiety, but I was also not about to unpack my attraction to her as she recovered from a cold. So, all I said was, “Great. Let’s keep it that way.”
I could have sworn she smirked beneath her mask. “You know, I’d almost think you gave a shit.”
I raised a brow. “Don’t push your luck.”
“But it’s so much fun too!”
I chuckled. “If you need anything, let me know. I’ll send Sasquatch.”
“Give him a big ol’ kiss for me.”
A part of me wanted to roll my eyes, but I refrained so as to not give her the wrong idea. “I’ll save you the honors for when you’re feeling better.”