Chapter 31
“Lily!”
“Can I call you back later, Rosie? I’m going to the theater—I’m getting picked up any minute.”
“No, Lily, it’s serious!”
Lily paused, an earring halfway to her ear. Rosie sniffled through the phone’s tinny speaker and Lily recognized her all-or-nothing sobs. She discarded the earring and sat down on her bed.
“What happened?”
“Mum left me!” Rosie howled.
“What?” Lily said sharply. “What do you mean?”
She hoped this was a case of Rosie exaggerating for dramatic effect as she was prone to do, but though Lily didn’t believe in gut feelings, she heard alarm bells sound in her head telling her this was not a drill.
“She’s gone off with Alex! I knew something was going on, but—”
“Wait—Alex King?”
“Yes, Alex King, what other Alex do we know?” Rosie swallowed a sob, then continued.
“He wanted to go to some island and I didn’t want to go so I went to the beach with Florence, and Mum tried to call me but I didn’t pick up and then when I got back they were both gone!
” Rosie broke down into more tears and sobs.
“And now she won’t answer her phone and I hate her! ”
Lily was so shocked she couldn’t see for a moment.
Her breathing was shallow, her heart pounded, and she felt a strong desire to just hang up.
But she couldn’t hang up. She’d have to handle this.
Just like every other disaster that happened in the family, she’d have to be the grown-up and sort it out. Deep breath.
“Okay, Rosie, do you know where they went exactly?”
“Some stupid island.”
“Have you tried calling her?”
“No, Lily, I’ve been shouting across the ocean—of course I called her! I told you, she hasn’t picked up!” And Rosie let out another mournful sob.
“Did you call him?”
“He dropped his phone in the toilet.”
“Is anyone with you right now? Where’s Florence?”
“God, I don’t need a babysitter, Lily. I’m not five years old!”
“I’m only trying to help!”
“You can help by getting Mum back!”
“Rosie, just—” Lily stopped herself and took a deep breath.
The doorbell rang. Oh dear. Lily heard Kitty open the door and Dorian’s voice as he greeted her.
“Hold on, Rosie. I’m going to give you to Aunt Kitty. I’ll only be a minute, I promise. Don’t go anywhere.”
“I can’t go anywhere; I’ve got no money.”
“What, none?”
“She took her card and mine’s maxed out.”
Lily winced as she worked to keep the panic out of her own voice.
“Don’t worry. I’ll be right back.”
“Okay, Lily! Just …” Lily heard the real vulnerability in her little sister’s voice. “Don’t be long, okay?”
“One minute,” Lily reassured her.
Lily caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror as she left her room. She looked terrible. Pale face, shaking hands, sweat on her upper lip, only one earring in. It was a horror show. She took a deep breath and went out to face Dorian.
“I’m sorry, I have to cancel the theater.”
“Is everything okay?”
“Yes, just—a family situation,” Lily responded.
“Anything I can do?” asked Dorian.
“What happened?” demanded Kitty, who had hovered nearby when she saw Lily’s tragic face.
There was no time to be coy.
“My mother and Alex—Alex King—have left Cairns and gone to some island together. Rosie’s by herself. We need to get her home.”
Lily tried desperately not to cry.
“Lydia,” said Kitty through gritted teeth as she took the phone. “Rosie? Rosie, hey, it’s me. Don’t worry, sweetie, it’s going to be okay.”
Kitty wandered down the hall talking soothingly.
“I’m sorry, Dorian,” Lily said. “We’ve got to sort this out.”
It was an invitation for him to leave but he didn’t take it. He glanced past her down the hall to make sure Kitty couldn’t hear.
“Let me,” he said in a low voice. “I’ll get her a flight right now; she can be here tonight.”
“What?”
“Where is she? I’ll get her a car, a private plane.” He whipped out his phone and looked at her expectantly. “What’s the address?”
Lily gaped at him and had a confused thought that she was not being offered what she wanted most.
“It’s okay,” he was saying, clearly misinterpreting her hesitation. “No one has to find out.”
Lily felt her face flush red. “Find out what?”
“About this,” he said, frowning at her. “The money,” he tried again. “Please. I can afford it and—”
“As long as no one knows.”
“I don’t want to cause any unpleasantness,” he said, coldness creeping into his voice, “through a public connection.”
“For me or for you?”
“I’m trying to help,” he said defensively.
“With money.”
“Yes, with money for the moment and then—”
“Well, we don’t need it,” Lily snapped. Dorian’s face reddened, then iced over.
“Thank you. We’re not completely helpless or friendless—or broke,” she added, thinking of her aunts Jane and Elizabeth.
Better to be in financial and emotional debt to them than to Dorian.
Better, even, to go it alone and risk everything than remain so dependent on others.
“I didn’t mean to offend,” he said coldly.
“No. You meant to control.”
He looked like he was about to contradict her but thought better of it. Dorian, Lily had learned, was not a liar.
“I feel at least partly responsible.”
“You’re not responsible for Alex King and you’re definitely not responsible for my family,” Lily said, her anger giving way to a desperate need to make him understand when she barely understood herself.
“I know it’s normal for you, but I’ve never felt in control of my life.
I have to be able to look the truth in the face and deal with it, no matter how bad it is.
I don’t want you to save me.” I want you to support me, she added in her mind, but she knew it was too late for that.
There was silence as they both recognized the uncrossable gulf between them. Naively, she’d thought it was possible to bridge it. But it was glaringly obvious: Dorian lived in a different world and as long as she felt powerless within it, they would never be able to meet on equal terms.
“I see. Good luck, then,” he said, and turned on his heel.
Lily couldn’t do anything but nod as she shut the door behind him.
She stood a moment, listening to his footsteps and the sound of the car door opening and closing.
The engine started up, surged, then receded as he drove off to join the hum of the rest of the city.
How odd that they had ever been thrown together. She knew it would never happen again.
She turned back to face the reality of her reckless, selfish, and utterly suburban family, involved in a fresh disaster that wasn’t even much of a surprise. Thank goodness she was with Aunt Kitty.
Together, Kitty and Lily transferred Rosie some money, booked her a flight back to Sydney, and arranged for her to spend the rest of the holidays with Juliet.
Rosie accepted the arrangement without complaint.
It seemed that a week of cruising the backpackers’ hostels and bars of Cairns had not been as liberating as she’d hoped.
“Florence is being a cow,” she sniveled.
Lily thanked Kitty and promised to pay her back somehow.
“Don’t worry about it,” Kitty assured her. “It’s not the first time I’ve had to bail your mum out. Mostly to keep Lizzie and Jane from knowing the worst. But God, Lily, how are we going to keep this under wraps? How old is this Alex King anyway?”
“Twenty-two,” Lily confessed miserably. “And that’s not the worst of it. He’s done this before.”
“What?”
“Hooked up with women for—I don’t know. Money.”
“Well, Lydia hasn’t got any.”
“She probably told him she owns the house.”
“What was she thinking?”
They didn’t have to wait long to find out. Lily’s phone rang. It was Lydia.
“Guess where I am,” she crowed. “I don’t even know, ha! But it’s paradise. You know the beach at Pippi; well, this is a million times better, the sand is so soft and white it squeaks.”
“Mum.”
“And the trees are so—I don’t know. Everything’s green. Moist.”
“I’ve spoken to Rosie, Mum.”
“It’s not messy like Pippi.”
“Mum? Rosie? Remember your fifteen-year-old?”
“Oh God, yes, stop nagging. I know, that’s why I’m calling. Honestly, it’s the last time I ever go anywhere with her; she was absolutely miserable from beginning to end.”
“You left her in a hostel in Cairns with no money, Mum.”
“That’s what she wanted, that’s hardly my fault!”
“She didn’t want to be stranded.”
“Well, I didn’t want to stay there. I know it might not mean much to her or you or my bloody judgmental sisters.
I know you’re listening, Kitty, hi, by the way, go ahead and tell Lizzie and Jane, I don’t even care.
And you know why? Because I’ve found love.
For the first time in my life. And that is the most important thing and I deserve it too! ”
“With Alex King? Are you serious?”
“Now, I don’t want to hurt your feelings, honey, I know you liked him, but there are some things about men and women that you’re too young to understand.”
“MUM! He’s twenty years younger than you!”
“See? There you go. Exactly what I knew you’d say, there’s no point in talking to you about this—”
“And he’s done this before. He’s using you.”
“Oh right, you know everything, do you? As per usual. Well, let me tell you, Miss Hang-Around-Movie-Stars, I have plenty to offer and Alex is giving me exactly what I need right now. I am the center of his world and he is everything to me and after all I’ve done for you and Rosie and everyone else, with no help, single parenting, dealing with mental health issues and an emotionally abusive ex—yes he is—I deserve some time in the sun.
Yes I do. So you sort yourselves out and call me when you’re ready to be supportive because I don’t have to take this from you.
I’ve got a wedding to think of. You heard. We’re getting married. Suck on that.”
Slam.
If it was possible to slam a mobile phone down, Lydia did. Lily stared at Kitty’s horrified face.
“Did she say … married?”
“She said married.”
The two of them sat for a minute and contemplated all the ramifications of that word. Tears sprang to Lily’s eyes.
“It’s okay, sweetie,” Kitty soothed. “You know what your mum’s like. She won’t do it. You know she loves you, right? You and your sister? You’re everything to her.”
Lily believed this was true. But Lydia didn’t always act like it.
And right now she was acting as though the only worthwhile person in her life was Alex King.
How frustrating that Lydia could fall for someone like that!
But then Lily had fallen for him too. She remembered with some shame how safe and special she had felt in the glow of his smile.
She’d dressed for him on New Year’s Eve, scanned the crowd for him, and drooped when she realized he wasn’t there.
How could she have let such a lizard have any effect on her at all?
But she couldn’t blame herself for too long.
Her own sense of shame soon gave way to indignation and anger.
Alex King had played her, just as he was playing her mother right now.
It was low stakes for him. But for Lydia and so many other people Lily knew, a life without romantic attention was no life at all.
Somehow the world was always working to convince women that men were their only ticket to happiness.
Lily thought of her own father, whom she had met exactly twice since he bailed on them when Rosie was born.
Handsome, energetic, fun to be with. Alcoholic, unreliable, then completely absent.
Why, why, why would Lydia risk going through all that again?
But deep down she knew why. Because Lydia, like everyone else, just desperately wanted to be adored.