Chapter 38
The next morning, Lily wandered out to the deck in her pajamas and smiled to see Juliet already out at the end of the jetty, swimming and laughing with Casey.
How much had changed! This time last year Casey had been a stranger and Juliet was so reserved around him.
Now he was part of the family and Juliet was bubbling with happiness.
But. What was Lily to do? For all this change, she felt she had very little to show except for her university enrollment and a squirming kind of agony that the person she most wanted to talk to about it was Dorian Khan.
She squinted up at the cliff house and wondered what would happen when she finally got to speak to him on his own.
And when would that be? This morning? Now?
Ever? She scurried back to her room in search of some equilibrium, but within minutes found herself agonizing over what to wear and had to sit down and give herself a stern talking-to.
What she wore or how she did her hair was irrelevant to anyone’s happiness but her own.
She slipped into the swimsuit on top of the pile, glad that it happened to be her favorite and also happened to be flattering.
And anyway, she might not even get to spend any time with Dorian today at all.
But she hoped she would. How much, she hardly realized herself until she arrived on the deck and saw Dorian striding toward her.
She felt physically sick with anticipation.
Why was it that she used to be so capable of saying anything that came into her mind and yet now she felt like a big wet frog with an empty brain and bulging, desperate eyes? Oh dear.
“Would you like to go for a walk?” Dorian asked, with something of his past abruptness.
“Yes,” Lily declared a little too loudly, and steeled herself.
They strolled up to the north end together in silence.
Lily made sure to keep her distance so their hands wouldn’t accidentally brush.
But with the sound of the water boosting her spirits and no pressure to look at each other as they walked side by side, after some minutes Lily felt safe enough to say what was on her mind.
“I’ve decided to study environmental science next year,” she began, her eyes on the sand.
“Good for you.”
“I want to advocate for places like Pippi. Protect natural spaces from overdevelopment.”
Dorian stayed silent beside her.
“I know what you did for Pippi,” she continued. “I’m really grateful—everyone’s really grateful.”
“They know?”
“Well, they don’t know it was you. Bob-with-One-Dog is taking all the credit for single-handedly fending off Stacy Black and her helicopter. But I’m the one who wrote to the council.”
“Lily, I’m so sorry,” Dorian said suddenly.
Lily glanced at his troubled face. She recognized his expression immediately—the same one she’d so often mistaken for anger or disdain. He was embarrassed.
“I told her from the start Pippi was out of the question. She just got it in her head that … maybe … if you—”
“It’s okay,” Lily said, and Dorian let out a small sigh of relief. “It was quite funny, actually.”
“I wish I could see the humor in it,” he said grimly. “I can’t believe she ambushed you like that, put it all on you—the whole weight of my ‘career’—as if filming at Pippi is going to make or break this film or my career or anything! It won’t.”
Lily heard anger creep into his voice and she was surprised. A year ago, Dorian had seemed much more passionate about his work than anything else.
“She only fought so hard for it because she hates being told no,” he said.
The memory of the times Lily had said no to Dorian hung in the air between them.
“It’s rare for her to come up against someone who can’t be bought out. She’s come to expect that everyone has a price,” he added.
“Then I feel sorry for her.”
“So do I—when she’s not flying around in helicopters harassing people. She’s been treated really badly so many times. What happened with Alex King isn’t even the worst of it.”
Lily felt her stomach sink, as it did every time she thought about Alex. How he had used her mother was unforgivable, and he had done it before and worse.
“I’m sorry, Lily, I hope this isn’t overstepping a boundary, but I know what happened with your mother after she ran off with Alex.”
Lily’s face burned with embarrassment, and fury at being embarrassed when Alex was the one in the wrong.
“Alex called me, told me he was in trouble with the law, blamed your mother. And asked me for money,” Dorian explained.
“We were on his list too.”
“I didn’t help him. Not this time. But I’m sorry for all the times that I did.
I knew what kind of person he was when he showed up at Pippi and I should have told you, or someone, or at least gotten him to leave, then none of it would have happened.
I understand if you blame me; I blame myself too.
Stacy doesn’t want anyone to know what happened, but I could have said something and kept her out of it.
Truth is, I was ashamed of the connection myself. ”
“It’s okay,” Lily interrupted. “It’s over now.”
She didn’t blame him any more than she blamed herself. She wished she’d warned Lydia about Alex too, but knowing her mother, at the time it probably wouldn’t have done any good. But things were different now.
“My mum’s helping with the prosecution,” Lily said, “along with another woman she met at the resort.”
Dorian nodded.
“I’m glad. Let me know if I can help in any way.”
“She can handle it.”
“Yes. Of course.”
A comfortable silence grew between them as they made their way to the top of the north end.
Without looking at each other, they perched side by side on a large rock.
They sat in the quiet relief of apologies offered and forgiveness granted and took in the view spread out before them of sand, water, bushland, and sky.
“So peaceful,” whispered Lily. “The way it should be.”
“Pippi Beach is lucky it has you to fight for it.”
Lily’s stomach tightened.
“I’m sorry, I have to know,” he said. “If you feel the same as you did in LA, then I’ll leave Pippi and never bother you again. I promise.”
Lily turned to look at his soft, vulnerable face. A face that she had misunderstood so many times was finally open to her with just a simple question.
“Please tell me the truth,” he said.
And Lily kissed him. It was a gentle, delicate kiss. They both felt surprise at such a tender moment shared between them so soon, but Lily knew it was right.
“I was so wrong to judge you,” she began, but Dorian cut her off.
“No you weren’t! I was awful.”
“I was worse!”
Dorian smiled at her and it was like the sun melting the last barriers between them.
There was no stiffness or awkwardness and nothing left to hide.
It was the most intense relief she’d ever felt.
The ocean looked bluer, the cicadas screamed louder, she could taste the salt in the air, and she could see her own reflection in Dorian’s dark eyes.
“Can I ask …” He hesitated.
Lily reached out and squeezed his hand.
“What changed?”
She contemplated the question for a moment. Had it really been that sudden? To an outsider, maybe. But she had felt something brewing for a while now. She’d just refused to acknowledge it.
“Maybe I never really disliked you at all.”
“But you were right when you said—”
“Please don’t remember what I said!”
“Arrogant, self-centered, entitled, smug, offensive—”
“No!”
“And then controlling.”
“I’m so sorry!”
“I thought of nothing else for days, weeks afterward. Both times.”
“I was upset.”
“It was the truth. And I needed to hear it. So when Stacy told me …”
“What? That I’m poison to your career?”
“She said that too.”
“And what else?”
He smiled and drew her closer.
“She gave me hope.”
They kissed again and walked back down the beach talking of other, more familiar things. For the first time together, they each felt seen and understood, and a whole new world opened up before them.