Chapter Nine
When I rush through the door of mine and Mallory’s suite, she’s tangled under a blanket on the leather couch with a muscular arm draped over her side and her mouth hanging wide open. She stirs, making me freeze in place as I watch her like a damn hawk. If she wakes up, I’ll be screwed and have to tell her everything – lying to her isn’t an option.
Once I’m sure she’s still fast asleep, I tiptoe down the hall and into the bathroom, then shut the door softly before turning the light on. The brightness hurts my eyes, but I adjust quickly and stare at myself in the mirror. My lipstick is smeared, strands of hair sticking up in odd places, but it’s the clothes I’m wearing that make me groan loudly into the room.
His shirt is hanging low, only a sliver of my thighs showing, and I fiddle with the cotton fabric for a moment while chewing on the inside of my cheek. As quickly and quietly as possible, I step back into the room where Mallory’s sleeping and dig for a pair of pajamas in my suitcase. If she catches me in one of her brother’s t-shirts, I’d never hear the end of it.
I thought things would go slower than this.
This was the plan. Brent is supposed to be helping me gain experience, talk better with men, but I didn’t think he’d make me feel so alive tonight. Even now, as I’m standing in my suite and away from him, my skin is still tingling from his touches. Is it supposed to feel like this?
I wouldn’t know.
The thought has my mind going back to what happened in college. It was what seemed like a magical moment when my ex, Francesco, walked into the coffee shop I worked part-time at, claiming that he had been searching around for me after eyeing me in one of our classes. I later found out it wasn’t that at all.
When I wasn’t with Mallory, most of my time was spent with Fracesco in my dorm room and we’d watch different movie marathons. I’d meet with him in the school library, where we would work together on our class work, and I was beyond proud of him for getting his grades up in the class we shared together.
I had this bright idea that I would get him a cake made – a little over the top for a higher grade, but I was smitten with him and wanted to show that I cared about him – and planned out an entire night for the two of us. Mallory helped me set our dorm up for a night full of action and adventure movies, Francesco’s favorite genre, then left for the night to give us alone time.
At this point, we were together for a few months and I was more than ready to admit my feelings for him. We had been intimate together, he made me smile daily, and I truly thought he was serious about me.
That night, with pizza sitting in front of a makeshift bed on the floor, and a projector shining on our white walls, Francesco walked in and said the most absurd thing I’d ever heard. Apparently, I was part of this elaborate plan to get his grades up so that the woman he truly cared about could take him home to meet her parents.
It turned out I was nothing more than a way to get through the class and show off to this girl’s parents. He never did stay long enough to get the cake I had made for him, and I called Mallory bawling my eyes out. She walked through the dorm minutes later, since she was only a few doors down staying with another friend of ours, and we stuffed our faces with the cake while talking about what a dick he was.
Ever since that time though, I never made it further than the first date with a guy.
Francesco made me feel as though I was nothing. He brought out a side of me I thought was long gone, the one who worried about what she looked like and how she acted around guys. I was brought back to high school, when I had people constantly speaking about my weight – I was always skinny, and I’d constantly get comments about me needing to get meat on my bones – and it was tough to go through.
I swore to myself I’d never let anything like that happen again, and I’ve stood by that.
A loud snore knocks me out of my thoughts and I curse at myself silently, then pull the t-shirt over my head. I grab the brush I left sitting on the bathroom sink before I left for my date, combing through my hair quickly, and head back into the living room slowly. The guy Mallory has in her bed lets out another loud snore, making Mallory stir, and I snort softly.
If he manages to wake her up in the middle of the night, he better run as far away as he possibly can. The one thing I’ve learned about Mallory since becoming her friend is that she is not a morning person. If she has to be awake early, it normally involves a large cup of coffee that she has to lick clean before being her usual bubbly self.
As I climb onto one of the stools sitting in front of the kitchen island, my phone vibrates under my ass and I pull it out with scrunched eyebrows. It’s a random number I’ve never seen before telling me goodnight, something simple, but who did I even give my number to recently? Instead of texting the number back, I sit my phone on the edge of the island next to me and lean forward to rest my head in my hands.
Maybe tomorrow will be a better day for me.
Brent will likely act as though nothing happened between us, which is for the best, and I hate how wrong it feels. Granted, it also feels wrong that I haven’t said anything to Mallory about what’s going on.
She means well, most of the time, but her constant jokes about how my love life is going is making me feel worse and worse about the trajectory of my life. I want the kids, a loving husband, and us to adopt dogs from rescues because I’m a sucker for the sad animal commercials I used to see growing up. When will I get to that point in my life?
My head spins from the overwhelming thoughts and I sigh into the pillow before looking up at the ceiling. I don’t know why I thought that I’d be able to rush back here, go to sleep, and act as though everything that happened tonight was an amazing dream instead of real. The gears in my head won’t stop spinning.
What is Brent thinking right now? Is he laying in bed just like I am, overthinking everything that happened tonight?
What if he decides I’m not good enough to keep this ball rolling while we are here?
That thought sends my heart plummeting straight to my ass and my stomach churns with anxiety. It would be exactly as it was with Francesco – me not being enough and only being good for his benefit. What does Brent get out of this with me though?
Maybe he’s using my girl-next-door vibe to perfect his image.
How do I know there hasn’t been someone following us around, taking pictures of us together, that Brent approves of when he’s not around me?
“Jules?” Mallory mumbles while still half asleep.
“Hm?”
“Please stop talking to yourself,” she whispers, then silence blankets the room.
A smile tips at the corner of my mouth and I shake my head. How this woman can sleep through her new boy toy’s snores, but wake up to me mumbling to myself – which I didn’t realize I was doing – I have no clue. Before I make things worse, I lift from the chair, walk upstairs, turning into the last room on the left, and point my gaze out the large window ahead once I get inside.
Tomorrow will be better.
I grunt from the pain as my body hits the floor and a soft giggle has me popping an eye open. Mallory is kneeling on my bed with a bright smile on her face like she’s proud of herself, but I glare at her before rising from the floor. “What the hell was that for?”
“You woke me up last night, figured it was only right,” she says with a shrug before making her way into the adjoining bathroom.
It’s unlikely I’m going to fall back asleep, so I smooth my clothes out and follow her into the separate room. While she messes with her hair in the mirror, I lean against the doorframe and I eye her through the mirror with a curious glance. “Good night last night I take it?”
She darts her gaze over to mine, her cheeks heating up at the question, and the sight shocks me. In all the years I’ve known her, men have never been able to get her nervous like this, and it’s odd to see. Are we switching roles on this trip, or what? “It was… something.”
I hum in response and smile. “You seeing him again while we’re here?”
“Maybe,” she says nonchalantly, but the way her eyes brighten at the idea tells me everything I need to know.
“I say give it a shot. It’s only two weeks, what’s the worst that could happen?”
Isn’t that a question I should be asking myself?
Mallory sighs and turns toward me with an eyebrow raised. “Where were you last night so late?”
I should’ve known I wouldn’t be able to get away with walking in at the time I did. It’s not like me. Normally I’m in bed before nine, then waking up at six in the morning to get everything set up for my work day. On the weekends, I use that as my relaxation time but still manage to go to bed at around ten at night and instead wake up around seven or eight.
I’m an early bird, not a night owl.
Last night proved to be very different, but I can’t tell her it’s because her brother’s hands are the best thing to have touched my body in forever. I can’t imagine the laughs she would get out of the admission, or the advice she would try giving me on Brent.
Although she may not follow her brother’s every move, she still stays up to date on most things that paint him in a bad light and that’s how I know she’d have something to say. I’m the innocent one who would end up having her heart broken, just like I did years ago, and she would have to be there to pick up the pieces.
She clears her throat and I snap back to reality, giving her a nervous smile. “Uh, just hanging out by the pool. If someone didn’t take forever, I would’ve been back much sooner.”
Mallory throws her hands in the air and winks at me. “Don’t blame me for the man being amazing in bed.”
Just like that, the conversation comes to a halt and I’m saved from having to lie to her. I didn’t tell her everything, but I technically did go down to the pool and hang out. She doesn’t need to know that I also followed her brother into his room and let him coax me through a blow job right before he made me come harder than I ever have before.
Other men I was with – however small that amount is – may not have bothered to worry about my pleasure, but Brent seemed eager to get it out of me.
How will I possibly be able to face him this morning after leaving the way I did?