CHAPTER FOURTEEN
ANIKA
Alcohol makes me bold. Stupidly bold. But as Nathan’s lips land on mine, I can’t even find it in me to feel bad. Because it feels right. Nothing in my life has felt right for years. But this does. All the feelings he manages to incite in me feel good. A part of me knows that with a man like Nathan, it’s possible that these feelings will inevitably turn to pain, but I’m okay with that.
I crave it even. I’ll take every feeling he has to give. As long as I get to feel alive like this again.
Nathan claims my mouth with a ferocious passion. It feels both familiar and all too consuming. His hands are still on my waist, somehow light and possessive at the same time. I savor the kiss for as long as I can. The press of his lips against mine, the slight hitch in his breath, the way he smells.
When his tongue slips into my mouth, I welcome it with a sharp exhale. He draws me even closer, molding our bodies together. It’s too much and not enough. I run my hands over his chest, desperate to feel more of it. But then suddenly, the contact breaks.
He’s shaking his head as he pulls away from me. We’re both breathing heavily and I’m trying to understand why he put an end to such a good thing. I peer at him, his eyes that seem much darker than usual, his creased shirt. I watch as he runs a hand over his mouth, blowing out a breath before looking towards me.
The hint of regret in his eyes has my heart dropping.
“Anika,” he says my name gently, almost like a caress. “This isn’t a good idea.”
I press my lips together, my eyes never leaving his. He’s right that this isn’t a good idea. But he’s also wrong
“Why not?”
He doesn’t reply. He simply shakes his head before running a hand through his hair and I realize I’ve probably missed my chance to feel the thick brown strands and see if his hair is as luxurious as they look.
“Okay,” I whisper. “I’ll leave.”
Best to get out while my dignity’s still intact. I’m not about to beg the man to continue kissing me. Even though I’d really, really like it if we could pick off where we left off. I start to walk out but I feel a hand reach out and wrap around my wrist from the side, stopping me in place.
“We’ve been drinking,” he states.
“So?”
His hand is still holding my wrist and I distractedly wonder if he’s aware of the fact that his thumb is swiping back and forth across my pulse.
“You’re not thinking clearly, sweetheart. You’re inebriated and-”
I move backward so I’m standing in front of him once again, looking into his eyes,
“Don’t tell me what I am, Nathan. Sure, I had a few drinks but not nearly as much as you. So I guess I should be asking you if you’re thinking clearly,” I challenge.
He looks almost sad as he says, “It’s almost impossible to think clearly whenever I’m around you, Anika.”
His words take my breath away. The low guttural tone of his voice, the hungry note in his eyes. All of it. I step close to him, my voice low as well, my heart pounding as I dare to be brave.
I’ve done a lot of scary things in my life. Heart stopping, dangerous activities like sky diving and swimming with whales in the ocean. But I’m not sure anything I felt then comes close to how I’m feeling in this moment.
“I want this, Nathan,” I tell him, “I am in complete control and I want this. I want you.”
I push a stray strand of hair away from his forehead. His lips are parted and he’s staring at my hand, following my movements, his eyes not meeting mine.
He swallows roughly before speaking.
“Anika, I can’t give you all the love you deserve in the world.”
It stings a little, but I understand where he’s coming from.
“That’s okay. I’m not asking you to do that. I’m just asking you to give me tonight.”
And just like that, it’s like a switch has been flipped. His eyes somehow becoming softer and hungrier at the same time. I suck in a sharp breath when he yanks on my wrist pulling me closer.
“Don’t say I didn’t warn you, sweetheart,” he states, grinning wolfishly and then he’s kissing me again.
I glide my hand over the back of his scalp and slide my fingers through his hair, which feels amazing and perfect. There’s no tongue as we kiss, no urgency at first. It’s exploratory, soft and sweet. When I pull away for a second, I find his gaze on me containing so much raw, palpable heat it steals my breath away.
He wraps a hand around my neck to pull me forward before his mouth crashes over mine again. And suddenly all bets are off. There’s nothing exploratory anymore. It’s just pure hunger. His tongue thrusts into my mouth in a deep, punishing stroke. A moan is wrenched from my lips, one that he swallows greedily.
“Fuck you taste so good,” he whispers against my lips. “I knew you would.”
My heart is pounding in my chest. A part of me can’t believe this is happening right now.
“You have no idea, sweetheart. Just how much I’ve thought about kissing you,” he says softly, his lips pressing down on mine before releasing again. “Tasting you. Not just these lips. The ones down here as well.”
Oh God. My core throbs as he places his palm over my pussy.
“These shorts are in the way,” he mutters disappointedly.
“You can take them off,” I suggest, feeling reckless.
Nathan smirks, looking at me through dark eyes.
“Take them off and do what, sweetheart?” he questions.
“Whatever you want.”
He quirks an eyebrow, “Now, that’s a dangerous proposal. Get on the bed, Anika.”
I do as he asks immediately, lying right in the middle of the bed and trying not to act as nervous as I feel. Vulnerability spreads through me but there’s something calming about the way Nathan looks at me. It’s soft, filled with longing and passion. Like he’s trying to reassure me.
“Relax, baby,” he says softly.
I focus on the ridges of his chest. His toned abs. All that working out he does is honestly a blessing. He has to be the sexiest man I’ve ever seen. He climbs onto the bed, like a panther on a prowl. And I’m his next meal.
“You’re so beautiful, sweetheart,” he mumbles as he reaches for the helm of my shorts, pulling it off.
The look on his face is priceless when he sees I’m not wearing anything underneath.
“No panties,” he asks hoarsely.
I shake my head, “I was going to sleep after talking to you.”
“Well trust me, we’re going to do anything but sleep now,” he promises.
His eyes never leave mine as he starts trailing kisses up my legs. I squirm when he presses one to my inner thigh, feeling desperate. I need his mouth on me, I need to feel something and yet someone I’m feeling everything all at once right now. He’s barely touched me and I’m already on the brink.
“Tell me, Anika. Does this feel good?” he asks.
I can feel his breath against my pussy. His fingers grip my hips, holding me in place.
“You can do better, Mr. Billionaire,” I urge.
He chuckles and I feel the sound running through me. “As you wish, sweetheart.”
Chills roll up every surface of my body when his tongue breaches my center. I can’t believe he’s about to eat me out right now. Edward hated to do it. And I’ve never come from having a man’s mouth on me. But Nathan’s different. He’s so wildly him and I don’t think I’ve ever been as attracted to anyone as I am to him.
I can already feel myself close to exploding with that one touch. His hand flexes against my skin like he can tell my thoughts aren’t fully here. I stop thinking as soon as he flicks and twirls his tongue through me, glazing over my clit but not staying long enough.
I groan, reaching down to tangle my fingers in his thick dark hair. I come alive under his touch, hungry for everything he has to give. Then his fingers latch onto my clit and he sucks the soul right out of my body.
My other hand continues to grip his hair while I fists the sheets with my other one, trying to keep a grip on reality. It’s almost like I’m transported to another dimension. Nathan’s fingers join his tongue, pumping in and out of me. I can hear my slick wetness amidst my cries of pleasure echoing in the room.
Mr. Simmons’ room is on the other side of the house. Robert on the other hand is a few doors down on the hallway. It’s highly likely he can’t hear anything but I’m too far gone to care if he does.
“Oh God, yes,” I moan. “Right there.”
He hums in acknowledgement, but I can tell he doesn’t even need the direction. He rises to the challenge and adds another finger to the delectable torture before sucking my clit even harder. My vision starts to blur with every press of his tongue and I feel my body tightening.
“Nathan, I’m going to come,” I warn him, my voice barely a whisper.
I’m not even sure he hears, but then his hands tighten against mine and his pace increases. I scream as my orgasm hits, spasms going through my body. Nathan continues to fuck me with his tongue through it, holding me in place when I almost buck off the bed.
My limbs go soft as the rush of pleasure begins to ebb. When it does, I push myself up. Nathan smiles, his lips wet with my arousal as he looks up. I run my dingers through his hair, tugging to pull his head up to mine.
“That was amazing,” I tell him.
He grins, “Sweetheart, you haven’t seen nothing yet.”
And then we’re kissing. Our tongues tangle together and his palm dances over my ribs, lifting the shirt I’m wearing up. I lean away to allow him take it off completely, breaking the kiss for only a second. He rubs a thumb over my breasts which are still encased in a sports bra.
My core stirs, despite the fact that I just came. Nathan’s lips trail against my cheek. He kisses my ear and I lean back as he continues moving down my body. I shiver when he sucks a particularly sensitive spot on my shoulder. I moan as he continues the assault, reaching for my breasts. I reach down to take the bra off and then I’m completely naked, vulnerable in front of Nathan Wolfe.
It’s terrifying.
“Hey,” he murmurs, placing two fingers on my chin to tilt my head up so I’m looking at him. “You’re perfect, okay?”
He reaches for my breasts, fondling them in turn, “These breasts? Gorgeous.”
“And these nipples,” he groans before reaching down to take one hard erect nipple into his mouth.
My eyes fall shut in pleasure. I hold on to the base of his neck as he sucks both nipples, taking his time. I’m writhing beneath him, desperate for his cock.
“Nathan,” I moan. “I want you to fuck me.”
For some reason, that seems to give him pause. He stops sucking my tits to look up at me.
“Unfortunately, sweetheart, I don’t have a condom right now.”
Normally, I would be disappointed, call it a night. But the idea of ending things here has my stomach dropping. I don’t want this to end. Especially not when we might not have this again.
“I’m on birth control,” I inform him. “I never miss a shot.”
He arches an eyebrow thoughtfully and I wish I could tell what he’s thinking.
“I’m clean,” I state, thinking that his reason for hesitating. “I haven’t had sex in forever.”
“No, that’s not it,” Nathan says, gently running his fingers on my cheek. “I trust you, sweetheart. It’s just being forever for me as well. I haven’t been with anyone like this in a while.”
“Oh,” I murmur.
I hadn’t been expecting that. I figured with the way he looks and who he is, women would be throwing themselves at him left and right. But it’s pretty clear he really doesn’t allow anyone in. It makes me curious about why. I want to open up his head and reach inside, see all the things he’s hiding, figure out what causes him so much pain.
“We don’t have to if you don’t-”
“I’m going to stop you there, baby,” he interrupts. “I want this. More than you know.”
He stands, getting off the bed and I’m scared he’s going to leave but then he reaches for the buckle of his jeans. I watch as he takes down off, slowly, giving me a show. I memorize every piece of skin that’s made visible to me. And when he takes off his boxer briefs, I swallow at the sight of his cock.
It’s massive. And my heart thunders with the knowledge that it’s going to be inside of me.
“Relax, sweetheart,” Nathan says gently. “I’ll be gentle.”
My eyes narrow, “I don’t want you to be gentle though.”
He smiles, “Okay then. I’ll fuck you hard, so hard that you’ll be screaming my name.”
Yes please.
His fist raps around his thick cock and he jerks it a few times. I lick my lips as I watch him, entranced.
“Turn around, Anika. Hike your ass in the air,” he commands.
Oh God. I swallow before turning around, facing the headboard. I feel the mattress lower from his weight. It’s more intense this way, when I can’t even see what he’s doing. But I can feel him.
He runs a hand over my ass, exhaling softly.
“Damn.”
He runs his cock over the wetness of my pussy, swiping up and down and pressing against my aching clit.
“Nathan,” I moan impatiently. “Fuck me.”
“Say please.”
“Oh come on, don’t be an asshole now,” I grit out.
He chuckles, “It’s just one word, Anika. Please.”
Electricity crackles through me when he fingers my clit. My entire body grows alight with need.
“Okay fine. Please,” I cry out.
He sinks into me almost immediately. It’s a tight fit and I moan out of discomfort as my body tries to accommodate his huge length. I grip onto the headboard desperately. Nathan waits patiently until the discomfort fades, until all I feel is the pleasure. I push back, taking in more of his cock to urge him to continue.
He does, pulling back before thrusting into me again. Our bodies throb together. Skin on skin. I take his full length inside of me the second time around.
“Fuck,” Nathan breathes.
My thoughts exactly.
“You feel so amazing. So hot and tight,” he praises almost incoherently.
I love that. I love that I’m driving a man like Nathan crazy. He picks up the pace, thrusting inside of me faster. I take everything he has to give, pushing my hips backwards. He wraps a hand around my stomach, pulling me closer as he keeps his promise. He fucks me so hard that I can’t think straight.
I’m coming before I even realize it, feeling my eyes roll into the back of my head.
“Oh God!”
As soon as I come, Nathan flips me over so he’s on top of me now while he continues to thrust into me. I take back what I said about him fucking me from behind being intimate. Looking into his eyes is so much more.
“Nathan,” I whimper as the sound of our skin slapping against each other fills the room.
He grunts in reply, perspiration gathering in his forehead as he keeps up the pace. I’m not sure I’m even breathing as I take everything he has to give. He presses a kiss against my lips, it’s wet, sloppy but still manages to take my breath away.
The pace turns more frantic and I can tell he’s close. He reaches downward, his fingers blushing over my clit.
“You’re going to come again, sweetheart,” he asserts in a murmur.
And he must be attuned to my body because a few more seconds of him rubbing against my clit has me detonating. His cock surges, twitching and throbbing. We’re a tangle of moans and taut muscle as he comes inside of me with my name on his lips.
He shuts his eyes in the wake of the orgasm. And I close mine too. When I open them again, he’s pressing a kiss to my cheek before sliding off me and falling to the bed at my side.
My heart is racing fast and the ceiling in the room is still a little blurry. I stay still, looking up and trying to get my bearings, to compose my thoughts. Reality starts to crash back soon enough. The implications of what we’ve done. What I have to do next.
Nathan’s silent beside me as well. I guess he’s also thinking about it. Very slowly I start to sit up, looking around the room for my clothes. A part of me doesn’t want to leave this, the comfort that comes with being close to him, the overwhelming closeness that I’m suddenly feeling. But I know I have no choice.
“Hey, where are you going?” he questions.
When I look at him, there’s a frown on his face, his eyebrows arched.
“Leaving,” I reply with a nervous smile. “This was fun and all but I’m really beat and I need to sleep.”
“You don’t have to go.”
My heart clenches at that statement. Because it’s a lie. If I don’t leave on my own, he’ll leave me and I don’t think I could handle that.
“I have to though. We only had this one night and that’s fine. We got it out of our systems. Now we can move on. Or wait-” I smirk, my gaze critical. “Don’t tell me you’re suddenly in love with me or something?”
He rolls his eyes, “Slow down, sweetheart. All I’m saying is that the night’s not over yet. It doesn’t have to be,” he points out.
I hesitate, biting down on my bottom lip as I consider what he’s saying. He’s right, it doesn’t have to be over yet. But the longer I spend here with him, the more I become attached.
“So you’re suggesting I sleep here?” I question, needing some more clarification.
He nods, “If you want to.”
“I’m pretty big on cuddles,” I inform him.
“I’ll live,” he says on a smile.
It’s the smile that does it. Makes me let my guard down completely. I exhale a soft breath before nodding in agreement.
“Okay. I’ll just use the bathroom for a second and I’ll be back,” I tell him, “Also I’m sleeping in my shirt.”
“It’s all yours sweetheart.”
I turn back around so he doesn’t see the blush on my cheeks and the stupid smile on my face. He also looks way too good lying on the bed naked with his hair completely disheveled. A part of me wants to climb right back in and go for a ride this time.
But I restrain those thoughts before I’m asking for much more than one night with him. After washing my face and peeing, I return to the room. Nathan’s on his feet and I notice he’s pulled on his boxers. His eyes darken as soon as they land on me, resting on my breasts for a couple of seconds before moving lower.
I definitely should have put on the shirt before entering the bathroom.
“Anika?” he says tentatively. “How tired are you, really?”
I feel heat rushing through me, both at the tone of his voice and the way he’s looking at me. My stomach lights up the feeling spreading through me and settling between my legs.
Still I go for casual. Or as casual as I can, standing naked in front of a 6 foot2 man that could wreck my entire being. Physically, mentally and figuratively.
“That depends. What are you offering?” I ask teasingly.
He strides towards me, each step making my heart beat even faster.
“I was hoping you’d be up for me rocking your world one more time,” he states, finally reaching me and wrapping his arms around my waist.
I grin, way more comfortable around him than I should. Seriously, what the hell is going on with me? With us?
“How can you be sure you rocked my world the first time around?”
He arches an eyebrow, “Your pussy clenching around my cock twice as you came was a pretty good indication.”
Fuck. I really, really like it when he talks dirty to me like that.
And I know he can tell, judging by the smirk on his face.
“Fine,” I murmur.
“Please, tone down the excitement,” he says dryly.
I grin before leaning upward and wrapping my arms around his neck.
“The night’s not over yet,” I whisper, right before my lips land against his.
Soon enough he’s kissing me senseless and nothing else matters. Not who we are or where we’re from. Everything else grows quiet but me and him.
And I’ve never felt more alive.