CHAPTER SIXTEEN
ANIKA
The soft tunes of my dad’s favorite Beatles album plays in the room. He’s seated in the corner on an armchair, bobbing his head to the music, perfectly content. We’ve just finished having dinner and Carson and I are currently arguing about who’s going to do the dishes. We’re full grown adults, but I doubt sibling clichés like this will ever be behind us.
“I loaded the dishwasher last time, Bubba. It’s your turn,” I snap, glaring at my brother.
“When did we decide on turns? Loading dishes is your job, Anika,” he argues.
“And yours is what? Sitting on your ass, eating food and getting fat?!”
He gasps dramatically before reaching for his shirt and pulling it up to show me his abs.
“Fat where, munchkin?” he asks on a smirk.
I roll my eyes, “You’re such an idiot.”
“And you’re doing the dishes.”
I cross my arms over my chest and groan softly.
“Daddy, Carson’s being unfair!” I call out.
My brother snorts, “Really? You’re going to play that game?”
“Don’t be unfair to your sister, Carson,” our dad says monotonously.
“Why do you never take my side, father?” he pouts.
“Don’t be melodramatic,” I tell him, laughing as I launch one of the cookies mom made at his head.
It hits the side of his face before sliding down to the ground.
“You’re cleaning that up, Nika,” my mother states, walking into the living room.
She stops to press a kiss on my dad’s cheek and my heart melts at the way he looks up at her. Then she makes her way over to us, her expression stern.
“Loading the dishwasher is barely even work. I can’t believe the both of you still fight over petty things like that,” she chides.
“You’re right, mom,” Carson says, turning up the charm. He throws an arm around my shoulder, holding me in place, “I can’t believe Nika’s asking her big brother to do silly chores like that.”
I push his arm off, scooting away from him, “Dickhead.”
“Anika Cameron. What have I said about using words like that in this house?” mom questions. “Apologize to your brother now.”
The dickhead in question has the gall to grin at me, living it up.
“Mom!” I retort.
No way am I apologizing to him.
“Pri, just let them be. They’re not kids anymore,” my dad interjects from his spot on the chair.
“I’m not so sure about that,” mom replies, eyeing us both.
I sniff, before standing up and moving to hug my dad from behind.
“You’re the only one I have, daddy,” I tell him.
He chuckles, placing his warm hand over my arm and patting me gently. My mother rolls her eyes at us before taking my seat next to Carson, who doesn’t hesitate to pull her closer so she can run her hands through his hair the way she always does.
He’s such a mama’s boy, I swear.
“So how’s the center going, honey?” she asks him.
He sits back up with a sigh, “I feel like there’s a million things to do and not enough time to do it.”
“I drove by a couple days ago and there were a lot of people walking in and out of the premises,” my dad states.
“Yeah, Wolfe hired an army to help us out but still. I’m not sure we’ll be able to make it. Plus with all the people he’s hired, we seem to be hemorrhaging funds on a project that’s not bringing returns yet. It’s not my money, so I don’t care, much. But he should know better, considering their empire was built on investment and managing finances.”
I wave a hand in the air, “I’m sure it’ll be fine. Nathan has more than enough finances to pull it off. ”
Three pairs of eyes swivel to me and I immediately shut my eyes in horror. Fuck, I slipped up.
“Nathan, huh?” Carson asks. “When did you two become so comfortable with each other?”
“We’re not,” I reply flatly and it’s not even a lie.
In the past couple of days we’ve been alternating between cordial greetings and friendly interactions. I have no idea how to act around him anymore. Should I treat him like a boss or a friend? Or maybe like a guy I had sex with and someone my heart is constantly racing in his presence.
It’s a conundrum. One I hate so much.
Of course, my brother doesn’t drop it. He smirks and I hate the look in his blue eyes as he leans forward.
“You never did tell me what happened on that trip you both took. Why did you have to stay the night?”
I want so badly to punch his smug face right now.
“I already told you,” I grit out. “It was raining heavily. And the road to the estate was flooded.”
He rubs a hand over his jaw thoughtfully, “I see, so you spent the night in the same house as Nathan .”
“What are you getting at, Carson?”
“Nothing. Just that you two seems close and I’m wondering what’s going on.”
Does he really have to call me out like this in front of our parents? For fucks sake.
My dad raises an eyebrow in question, “Is something going on, baby girl?”
“No,” I answer quickly. “Absolutely nothing is going on.”
He doesn’t look so sure about my answer but thankfully my mom comes to my rescue.
“The both of you stop hounding her,” she states. “I’m sure Nika would tell us if there’s anything worth talking about.”
She’s only doing that to save me. I can see the questions in her brown eyes as well. All this because I slipped up and said his first name. Urgh .
I hurriedly nod, “Yes. So please change the topic.”
They do so and I let out a breath of relief. I also make sure to shoot Carson a glare, mouthing the word, traitor, at him. All he does in reply is to arch an unconvinced eyebrow.
He’s not going to let this go. And I’m determined not to give him the pleasure of being right. If he gets even a whiff that’s there’s something up between me and Nathan, he’ll never let it go.
The problem now is I really do need to talk to someone about this entire situation. I’m confused as hell and while I’ve tried hard to stop thinking about him, I can’t.
My family’s out of question though.
***
I’m seated at the door steps leading up to my friends’ house waiting for her to get home from work. I’ve been waiting for thirty minutes and I probably should have called her before driving here in the first place but I figured she would have been back home from work by now.
Danielle eventually shows up. She’s completely unsurprised to see me seating in front of her house. Meanwhile I can’t help but arch an eyebrow as she steps out of the car completely barefoot with her heels in hand.
She looks a mess. Her brown hair is in a messy bun on top of her head and I don’t mean the cute type of messy bun either. There are loose curls flying everywhere. Danielle’s always tries to give off to the rest of the world that she’s put together, in control. This is a far cry from.
“What happened?” I ask, rising to my feet and walking towards her and her car. “Were you in a fight? And please tell me you won.”
“Of course I won!” she announces.
Danielle grins before rounding the car to open up the backseat. I watch as she pulls out a box filled to the brim with clothes and bags.
“You should see the other girl,” she smirks. “I was at Fashion gate.”
I exhale a breath of relief, my body slumping in understanding.
“Oh, of course,” I murmur.
“Oh of course?” she repeats questioningly, peering at me. “I can’t believe you forgot it always happens today.”
Fashion gate is a bimonthly event that occurs in Greenville. It’s a place where fashion girlies can get designer outfits, runway clothes, shoes and bags for a discounted price. The event happens at a shopping mall and there are always announcements leading up to her. Hundreds of women show up and it almost always ends in a bloodbath for the best stuff.
I used to have so much fun going to it with Danielle. Until I stopped a couple years back. It just didn’t hold any appeal for me any longer. Which is sad because it used to be such an important part of my life when I was younger. It’s how Danielle and I bonded.
I manage a small smile before reaching for the box in her hand.
“Come on, let’s get you cleaned up inside,” I tell her. “And then you can show me what was so important that you got into a fight over it.”
She nods in agreement before walking towards her front door. She inputs the code, it swings open, granting us access inside. I drop the heavy box on the table in the living room and she’s pretty excited to show me everything she got. We spend the next ten minutes going over her admittedly impressive haul. She managed to snag an incredibly rare Prada jacket, which was what led to the fight in the first place.
I feel an ache in my chest as I watch her with all her clothes. I realize I miss it. Being normal, being myself. I hadn’t realized how many things I’d let go of in the past couple of years. They all used to bring me so much joy.
I guess that’s why I feel so… unmoored.
Danielle must notice the look on my face because she pauses in her show, brown eyes narrowing. Finally she sighs before reaching for the jacket and placing it in front of my face.
“Here,” she states. “You can have this.”
My eyes widen, “What?”
“The jacket, Anika. I’m giving it to you because I’m an amazing best friend and I think you need it as well. A reminder.”
My eyes well with tears. Danielle’s always been great at reading people. I just hadn’t been expecting to be so transparent.
“A reminder of what?” I ask in a soft whisper.
She shrugs, “Of yourself.”
I slowly accept the jacket, placing it in my hand, “Thanks, babe.”
“You’re welcome,” she replies easily. “And no crying. Listen I’m going to go take a shower and change. When I come back please have two cups of coffee made and maybe reheat the brownies in the fridge.”
I immediately sit up in excitement, “Brownies?”
My friend laughs, “Yeah. When I get back, you can tell me all about why you showed up at my house out of nowhere. And I also have one little thing to tell you as well.”
My brows furrow at that, “What?”
“When I get back,” she says firmly.
She leaves the living room, heading inside the house and I spend the next few minutes alternating between staring at the jacket and wondering why I let my life go so much. Eventually I get up to do as she asked.
By the time she returns, I’ve got two steaming cups of coffee and brownies set out on the table. Danielle steps out in a pink robe cinched tight around her waist and a face mask. I shake my head, she can be so extra at times.
“Alright, so what’s up with you?” she questions. “You look like you’re contemplating death by guillotine.”
I smirk, “I’m pretty sure poison would be a much more effective way to go.”
Her face falls, “It’s funny when I say things like that but you don’t get to.”
“Relax, I was joking too,” I say on a sigh. “Seriously, when did you become so uptight?”
“Probably around the time you abandoned your life, making everyone worry,” she mutters. “But that conversation can wait. I’m listening, tell me what’s bothering you.”
“Yeah, I really need to talk to someone and you’re my only option at the moment.”
She rolls her eyes, “Way to make a girl feel special, Nika.”
“No, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just…” I exhale a sharp breath before blurting, “I slept with Nathan Wolfe.”
Danielle’s brown eyes go wide. Meanwhile I feel a sense of relief at saying the words. Now it doesn’t feel so much like a dirty little secret. I relax against the couch, taking a sip of the steaming coffee. It takes a minute for her to process my state.
“You did what?!” she exclaims.
“Yep. I slept with Nathan,” I repeat.
“Holy shit. You mean the grumpy billionaire that’s been gallivanting around town acting like he’s too good for everyone else?”
“He’s not so bad,” I mutter. “He just has terrible social skills and a lot of trauma from his childhood, I think.”
“Oh so now you’re defending him?” she questions amused. “Damn, you must really like him.”
“Hold up, I never said I liked him. I said I slept with him. Once or twice,” I add, my mind flashing to that night and everything we did. “Okay, maybe three times.”
Her lips part in shock. I blow out a breath, honestly I feel much better now. Like I’ve confessed my sins to a priest.
“All in one night?” Danielle questions curiously.
I nod in answer.
She lets out a small whistle, “Damn.”
“Anyway, I’m in a huge dilemma here.”
“What do you mean by dilemma? You obviously like the guy.”
“No. I simply slept with him,” I correct. “That doesn’t mean I have feelings.”
“Awn, you’re in denial,” she says on a laugh. “It’s cute. I’ve known you for over a decade, Anika. And you’ve never had casual sex. Ever. Once you like someone it’s a done deal. You’re a nester, sweetie. You dated your ex for seven years, remember?”
I appreciate her not using his name. He’s the like Voldemort to me right now. He who shall not be named.
“Dany, you have to help me,” I moan. “I can’t like him.”
“Why not?” she laughs. “His personality could use some work but he’s hot as hell and rich. I see no problems.”
“We’re the problems,” I tell her. “The both of us do not work. Plus, I’m not even sure he likes me.”
She frowns, “Then why did he sleep with you?”
“I don’t know. Sexual tension. We’re both attractive people. It just happened.”
That’s a lie. I know he likes me. Nathan at least has some feelings. Although I don’t think they’re strong. And he would never act on them, the same way I can never do the same.
“This situation seems really complicated,” Danielle notes.
“How do you think I feel?”
She leans against the couch, her expression thoughtful.
“So what do you want to do, Nika?” she questions softly.
“Under normal circumstances, I would have blocked his number, stayed the hell away from him, done my best to avoid him but I can’t do that. He works with my brother and I also work with him. We see each other every day and he’s also decided to stop being an asshole so it’s a little hard to-” I pause, struggling to find the words.
“What?” Danielle jumps in. “To stop imagining how he looks naked? I bet he’s super ripped and has a huge dick.”
I feel myself blush, “Don’t be a perv, Dany. What I wanted to say is that it’s a little hard hate him. To not see him as human. To not care for him.”
“Oh. You’re in a really deep, huh?” my friend says softly.
“Maybe, I don’t know,” I shrug.
We both fall silent for a little bit before I finally say, “I just have to hold out for a little bit though. Nathan’s going to leave eventually. After the center opens, he’ll go back to his city and I’ll be free. Getting over him will be much easier when he’s not everywhere I turn.”
“I’m not so sure about that,” Danielle retorts. “If he leaves, all you’ll be filled with is regrets.”
My eyes narrow in question.
“Anika, what happened to that daring firecracker who jumped off a cliff without any fear?”
“She died,” I reply, avoiding her gaze.
“No, she’s still in there somewhere. That girl was amazing. I love that girl. And you’re still her. I know you are.”
I feel my chest ache. If I’m being honest the only time I’ve felt like that girl in the past couple of years has been when I’m around Nathan. I think about what he said that night we played the game.
You deserve every single thing your heart desires. All the love the world has to offer.
Those words were profound. But they also left me feeling hollow. What if there’s no one to give me that? What if he ends up being the only one I want?
“I’m scared,” I whisper, my tone vulnerable.
Danielle shifts forward to pull me in a hug.
“I believe in you, okay? And I have complete faith that you’ll come back. Just take little steps towards it Start with Wolfe. Stop trying to avoid him. If he makes you feel good, then you can enjoy that. You deserve to be happy, Nika. Although I still don’t get what you like in that hard ass.”
“He’s actually kind of a nerd,” I say on a laugh. “He listens to music like Beethoven and he loves Shakespeare.”
She blinks, “That is not your usual type for sure. Apart from the hair, he’s like the complete opposite of Edward.”
I wince at the sound of his name, “Dany, can we not talk about him? I’d like to go on pretending he doesn’t exist.”
“Yeah, that’s going to be a little hard to do,” she says sympathetically.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, Edward’s back. In town. He arrived earlier this week.”
I swear I feel something start to ring in my ear at that news.
“He’s back?” I question, my tone hard. “What happened to him chasing after his dreams and playing music for the world?”
Danielle snorts, “You didn’t truly believe he was going to be successful?”
“No, I hoped he’d fail so bad he would never show his face back here again.”
“Well, sorry sweetie. But he’s back in town. And I know he’s going to come find you.”
My hands curl up into a fist, “I’d like to see him try.”
Blaming Edward for everything that happened to me would unfair. And I would never let him have that much power over me anyway. I’m responsible for what I’ve become no him. But he did play a part and I’ll never forgive him for that.
A part of me is just really scared, that I won’t be as strong as I hope in the face of a man I gave so much of myself to.