36. Sadie
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
Sadie
The pounding on the door jolted me awake.
I shot upright, my heart slamming against my ribs, panic flooding my veins before I even knew where I was. My breath came too fast, too sharp, my fingers fisting in the scratchy sheets as I struggled to orient myself.
Not home. Not safe. Alone.
Another bang.
I flinched. My pulse roared in my ears, my skin cold and clammy despite the suffocating heat of the room. My mind scrambled through possibilities, each one worse than the last.
Owain?
No, he couldn’t know where I was. He wouldn’t have found me this fast. But what if he had? What if blocking his number hadn’t been enough?
What if running hadn’t been enough?
I swallowed hard, forcing myself to breathe. I needed to move. I needed to run.
But then…
“Sadie!”
The voice hit me like a freight train.
I knew that voice.
Another thud against the door—not violent, not threatening. Desperate.
“Sadie, open the door.”
Kai.
My body sagged with the realization, my lungs squeezing so tight I could barely breathe.
They’d found me.
Oh god.
I pressed a hand to my mouth, trying to swallow the sob clawing up my throat. I had told them not to come after me. I had begged them to let me go. And still…
Still, they’d come.
“Sadie, please.”
Samuel’s voice this time, rough and low, a pain that struck me hard.
A tremor ran through me. My legs felt weak as I swung them over the side of the bed, my bare feet hitting the thin carpet.
I barely remembered getting here, barely remembered collapsing into this stiff, unfamiliar bed, but now all of it rushed back at once… the storm of emotions, the choking fear, the weight of my past pressing down until I couldn’t breathe.
And then, I had run.
I thought I had to. I thought I didn’t have a choice.
But they had followed.
My chest ached so fiercely I pressed my palm against it, like I could physically hold myself together.
I stepped forward.
Another knock, gentler this time.
“Sadie… it’s me,” Kai said again, softer now, barely more than a breath. “We just want to talk. Please, let us in.”
I hesitated, fingers hovering over the flimsy motel lock. My throat burned, my vision blurred, the war inside me raging so violently I thought I might shatter from the force of it.
But I wasn’t alone.
Not anymore.
My fingers shook as I slid the lock free and twisted the knob.
The door opened.
And there they were.
Kai. Samuel. Adam.
All three of them standing in the dim, unnatural light of the motel hallway, drenched in exhaustion, in worry, so raw it made my breath stutter.
Kai’s eyes met mine first, dark and filled with so many things I didn’t know how to hold.
Then Samuel—jaw clenched, hands curled into fists like he was holding himself back from grabbing me.
And Adam, who looked like he hadn’t taken a full breath since I left.
I stepped back before I could stop myself, the door widening just enough for them to enter. They didn’t hesitate.
Kai was the first one through, his movements tense but careful, like he was afraid I’d bolt if he wasn’t cautious. Samuel followed, his sharp gaze sweeping over me.
Adam came last, quieter, softer, but his eyes—God, his eyes—were warm and aching and full of something I didn’t think I deserved.
The door clicked shut behind them. And suddenly, the room felt too small.
Too full.
Too much.
I wrapped my arms around myself, stepping back until my knees hit the edge of the bed.
“You shouldn’t have come.” My voice was barely more than a whisper.
Kai’s expression tightened. “You really thought we wouldn’t?”
I swallowed, looking away. I had hoped, for their sake, that they wouldn’t. That they’d let me go, let me make this easier.
Samuel sighed, scrubbing a hand over his face.
“Jesus, Sadie.” His voice was rough, full of frustration, making my chest ache. “Do you really think so little of us?”
“No,” I said quickly. “It’s not that.” I forced myself to meet their eyes, one by one. “It’s me. I can’t… I’m not…”
My throat closed up, my chest squeezing like it was caught in a vise.
They waited.
They always waited.
I sucked in a breath and tried again.
“I don’t deserve this. Any of this. You. A family. A future.” My hands trembled where they clutched at my arms. “I don’t know how to hold onto something good without ruining it. Without…” I shook my head. “You deserve better. You deserve someone who isn’t so… broken.”
Silence stretched between us, thick and weighted.
And then…
“No,” Kai said, his voice like steel. “I’m not letting you do this.”
My breath caught.
He stepped closer, his dark eyes burning into mine.
“I’m not letting you push us away because you think you aren’t good enough.” His jaw clenched. “I lost you once. I will not lose you again.”
My chest ached. I wanted to believe him. But?—
“You’re wrong.” Samuel’s voice was quieter but no less firm. He took a slow step forward, his hands slipping into his pockets, his gaze locked onto mine. “You think you aren’t worthy of love, but you are. You always have been, Sadie.”
I shook my head. “You don’t understand?—”
“I do.” His voice softened, but the certainty in it didn’t waver. “I see you, sweetheart. I see how hard you fight. I see how much you love, even when you think you don’t deserve to. And you do. You deserve all of it.”
My throat tightened so painfully I could barely breathe.
Then Adam moved.
He didn’t say anything, not at first. He just stepped forward and cupped my face in his hands, his touch gentle, reverent. When I finally looked up, his eyes were shining, filled with such adoration it made my head spin.
“You’re ours, Sadie.” His voice was soft, full of quiet conviction. “And we are yours. If you let us be.”
Everything inside me shattered.
A sob tore from my throat before I could stop it. And then I was moving, collapsing forward into their arms, and they were right there to catch me.
Kai’s arms wrapped around me first, strong and steady. Samuel’s hand pressed against my back. Adam’s fingers slid into my hair, holding me like I was something precious.
I broke apart in their arms, and they held me together.
Kai held me so tightly I could feel his heart pounding against mine, as if he were afraid I’d slip away if he let go. Samuel’s hand was on my back, his warmth sinking into me. Adam pressed his forehead to the side of my head, his breath soft against my skin.
For a long moment, none of us spoke.
But then Kai broke the silence, his voice full of emotion. “I love you, Sadie.”
I squeezed my eyes shut, gripping onto his shirt.
“I’ve always loved you,” he went on, his voice unwavering.
“And I know I messed up before. I let you go when I should have fought for you. I won’t make that mistake again.
” He pulled back just enough to cup my face, forcing me to look at him.
“I need you to hear me, baby. I’m not walking away from this. From you.”
My breath shuddered out of me. “Kai?—”
“I love you, too.” Samuel’s voice came next, softer but just as sure.
“I love your fire, your kindness, the way you care so damn much, even when you try to pretend you don’t.
” He brushed his knuckles against my cheek.
“You make me want to be better. And I don’t ever want to live in a world where you aren’t beside me. ”
My fingers curled into his shirt. I felt like I couldn’t breathe, like the weight of their words was pressing into my ribs, squeezing at the fragile and aching part of me inside.
Then Adam shifted, his lips brushing my temple.
“You already know,” he murmured, a quiet smile in his voice.
I turned my head slightly, my forehead nearly resting against his.
“You already know how I feel,” he repeated, his thumbs stroking gently over my arms. “I love you, Sadie. Completely. Helplessly. Irrevocably. I will love you every day for the rest of my life if you let me.”
I let out a shaky breath, overwhelmed. “I?—”
“You don’t have to say it yet,” Kai said softly. “If you’re not ready.”
Adam nodded, his touch reassuring. “We’ll wait for you.”
I closed my eyes. My chest ached with everything they were offering… love, acceptance, a place to belong.
A family.
The word lodged in my throat, terrifying and wonderful all at once.
I could still feel the echoes of my own fears, the ugly voice in my head whispering that I would ruin this, that I wasn’t worthy. But standing there, wrapped in their arms, I realized something.
I wanted this.
I wanted them.
I wanted to be brave enough to love them the way they deserved.
I swallowed hard, my hands shaking as I reached out, gripping Kai’s shirt with one hand and Samuel’s with the other. I turned slightly, pressing my cheek against Adam’s chest.
“I want this,” I whispered. “I don’t know how to do it, but I want this.”
Kai exhaled, like he’d been holding his breath.
Samuel kissed the top of my head. “Then we’ll figure it out together.”
Adam tightened his arms around me, his warmth seeping into my bones. “We’ve got you, Sadie.”
I let out a breath, my body slowly relaxing into theirs.
Maybe love wasn’t something I had to earn. Maybe it was something they were already giving me, freely and without hesitation.
And maybe I could learn how to accept it.