17. Jaxon
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Jaxon
The cabin was finally behind us, but the tension wasn’t.
Lila sat in front of me on the ride home, pressed against the window. She was quiet—quieter than I’d seen her in days. Every so often, she’d glance at her phone, her brow furrowing like something on it was bothering her.
It wasn’t hard to guess what was going through her head.
The week had been intense, to say the least. The storm, the close quarters, the nights we’d all spent too tangled up in each other’s orbit.
And now? She probably saw it all for what it was—a vacation fling. Nothing more.
I didn’t like that.
I didn’t want to admit how much it bothered me, but damn it, it did. She was in my head in a way I hadn’t expected.
Lila Harper was complicated and messy and entirely too captivating for her own good… or for mine.
But I wasn’t the only one feeling it.
Ryan had practically been glued to her side since the storm hit. And Colt? I’d seen the way he looked at her too, like she was some wild, untouchable thing he wanted to chase down and claim.
The problem was, this wasn’t just a simple case of liking the same girl.
We were Nate’s friends. His crew. And Lila? She was his sister.
The lines were a tangled, blurry mess, and it was only a matter of time before someone tripped over them.
I leaned back in my seat, forcing my eyes away from her.
This was already getting too complicated.
I didn’t need the drama—not with Nate, not with Ryan and Colt, and definitely not with Lila herself. She’d been through enough already, and the last thing she needed was some messy situation with me adding to her problems.
We might have discussed things, but it was only for that night, right ?
Perhaps we should have been more specific…
But maybe it was time to step back.
Yeah. That was the smart thing to do. The right thing.
Keep my distance, keep it simple. Let her figure things out without me hovering, making it harder.
But even as I made the decision, I knew it wasn’t going to be easy.
I wasn’t the kind of guy to obsess over someone. I didn’t let people under my skin like this. But Lila? She’d gotten there anyway, with her sharp wit and those damn hazel eyes that made it impossible to look away.
I exhaled sharply, running a hand through my hair.
By the time we pulled into Medford, I’d worked out my plan. Simple. Keep it friendly, keep it light, and above all, keep my hands off of her.
I didn’t know how the hell I was going to manage it, but I had to try.
For Nate. For the guys.
And for my own damn sanity.
* * *
The air was cold, crisp enough to burn with each inhale as I took an evening run with Nate, but it helped clear my head.
Or at least it was supposed to.
We ran side by side down the empty streets of Medford, our breaths puffing in clouds of white against the dark sky. Nate was quiet at first, which I didn’t mind. I wasn’t exactly in the mood to talk either.
But, of course, it didn’t last.
“So,” Nate started, his voice breaking through the rhythm of our footfalls. “You notice anything… off with Lila?”
I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye, trying to keep my expression neutral. “What do you mean?”
He frowned, his gaze fixed ahead. “I don’t know. She’s just been… quiet. She barely said two words when I stopped by Dad’s place earlier. She’s usually all sarcasm and attitude, but now…” He shook his head. “Something’s bothering her. I can tell.”
I swallowed hard, keeping my eyes on the pavement.
“She’s been through a lot.” I chose my words carefully. “Maybe she just needs some time to adjust.”
Nate let out a low grunt. “Maybe. But it’s not just that. It’s like she’s pulling back from everyone, even me.” He slowed his pace slightly, running a hand over his face. “I’m her brother, Jax. I’m supposed to help her. Protect her. And I can’t do that if I don’t know what’s going on.”
The guilt hit me like a freight train.
Because I did know what was going on.
At least part of it.
Lila wasn’t just pulling back from Nate. She was pulling back from me, from all of us. And why wouldn’t she? Things had gotten messy, fast.
Too much had happened in such a short amount of time, and now she was probably trying to figure out how to navigate it all.
And here was Nate, completely in the dark, trusting me to have his back.
“You’re a good brother, Nate,” I said, my voice tight. “She’s lucky to have you.”
He shot me a sidelong glance. “Yeah, well, doesn’t feel like I’m doing much good right now.”
I forced a nod, biting back the words I wanted to say.
Maybe if I weren’t so busy complicating her life, she wouldn’t be pulling back at all.
I felt like shit.
The guilt was damn near overwhelming.
Nate’s words reminded me too much of myself. I understood his frustration because I felt the same way every time I thought about my mom. Back when my father was still around, I’d been her protector, her shield. Every bruise, every harsh word… those were battles I’d fought to keep her safe.
Even now, the instinct to protect the people I cared about ran deep, carved into me from those years of trying to hold my family together.
I knew exactly how Nate felt. The helplessness, the guilt, the desperate need to make things right.
“You care about her,” I said, my voice quieter, “and she knows that. It makes a difference.”
He didn’t respond, but the look he gave me was enough. It was a silent acknowledgment, one protector to another.
As we looped back toward the firehouse, the same thought kept circling in my mind, no matter how much I tried to shove it down.
If stepping back was the right thing to do, why did it feel so wrong?