13. Chapter Thirteen Lucy
Chapter Thirteen: Lucy
H e’s totally going to kill me.
But it was worth it.
I had no idea chucking a water balloon at Theo Danvers’ head would be so thrilling. It was also oddly cathartic.
Of course, now I’m paying the consequences. He’s got a bag full of balloons and I’m low on ammo—only about three or four left. This was the last thing I expected to happen. I thought I might enjoy the delight of hitting my target and then he’d march away in an angry huff. He is, after all, very good at escaping situations. Especially when they involve me.
Instead, Theo has given chase.
And, crap, he’s fast . My only saving grace is the fact that I’ve been scrambling around these woods for as long as I can remember, since they connect a large portion of the local kids’ houses via backyards. With only the light of the moon and the weak glow of the back porch light to guide my footsteps, I leap over protruding tree roots.
Theo has much longer legs than me, though. Also, I have a feeling that he’s a recreational runner, since he’s catching up to me with far more grace and ease than I expected.
Then, before I can formulate a game plan to loop around and escape via Miss Maisie’s backyard, something cold and wet explodes between my shoulder blades.
I let out a surprised yelp. A rumble of laughter washes over me.
Theo is laughing .
The idea is so preposterous—the idea that he and I might actually be playing right now—that I can’t help laughing, too.
I pump my legs faster, grabbing hold of a tree trunk sticky with sap so that I can rapidly change directions.
There’s a dull thump , followed by a curse, signaling that Theo wasn’t expecting that maneuver.
A giggle escapes me. Then another balloon splatters against a tree right beside me, mere inches from my head.
Theo’s snort of laughter makes my heart squeeze. In a good way. Which doesn’t make any sense at all.
It’s just… I don’t think I’ve ever heard him laugh before. I mean, it’s not like he was emotionless and stoic at divorce camp. I occasionally saw him smiling while hanging around his cabin mates, and I’m sure I overheard him chuckling whenever one of the guys told a joke, but it was never laughter like this. Clumsy and unpracticed, released without constraint.
At this point, Elijah and Josie’s new house is far behind us. If we keep going, we’ll end up in the area of town where elegant cottages and million-dollar vacation homes lurk among the brine-soaked pines.
“Lucy!” Theo calls out. “Where are you even going?”
“You’re the one chasing me!”
Still, I don’t really want to end up on the other side of town tonight, so I make another sharp turn and curve back around in the direction of the house. It doesn’t help that I’m wearing mint green satin, my pale arms and legs bare, because I’m practically glowing in the dark. I can hear the moment when Theo refuses to fall for my trick and easily switches direction.
Suddenly, he’s much closer than I thought. I can feel a wall of warmth at my back, hear the crinkle of the plastic bag full of balloons way too close, and smell the scent of his smoky cologne.
A strong arm wraps around my waist. I shriek before I can choke back the startled sound, but it dissolves into laughter when Theo lets out a half-shout of victory.
And then, with his free hand, he breaks a balloon over the top of my head.
We stumble to a halt together, our legs tangling. I squirm away from him, but he holds on tight. Honestly, I’m grateful for it, because if he let go, I’d probably land on my face in the dirt.
With water trickling over my face, I can no longer clearly see where I’m going. My foot catches on a lump of uneven ground, sending me jerking forward and bringing Theo with me.
I brace myself, preparing to feel the crush of his body on top of mine as we fall to the ground and praying that, at the very least, I won’t have any visible bruises for the wedding tomorrow.
Thankfully, however, Theo is quick to react. He tightens his arm around my waist, plants his feet on the ground, and braces his hand against a branch just above my head to halt our bodies mid-fall. Still, as I try to correct my footing and wriggle away from him before he can pop another water balloon over my head, I nearly careen face-first into the trunk of a maple tree that seemingly comes out of nowhere.
“Can you stay still ?” Theo growls in frustration as I twist to avoid smacking my cheekbone into the bark.
My only response is a squeaked “Oof!” as he whirls me around at the last second and my back slams into the tree trunk with a sharp sense of finality and stillness. The back of my head thunks against the wood and I hiss in pain, barely registering the fact that Theo is pressed against me, his sudden and intense proximity due to his attempt to stop me from colliding with a hard surface twice .
Technically, that makes him my savior.
Despite that, I’m not certain I’m all that safe right now.
We are chest to chest. Our feet are tangled in the ferns, and our legs are locked together like the teeth of a zipper. The moonlight is barely able to penetrate the dense layers of oak leaves crisscrossing overhead. This part of the woods is thick. I made a miscalculation when I changed directions.
We are both panting for breath. In the distance, I can hear the faint sounds of the water balloon war fading to its conclusion.
He is so close. So close. Even closer than he was when we were locked in that closet together at camp. The tip of his nose brushes against my cheek bone as he turns his face and attempts to jerk backwards, away from me. Except, thanks to the density of the trees, he is thwarted by a wall of pine branches, spiny and sharp and thick.
When he tries to fight through them, clearly just as desperate to avoid being in dark, enclosed spaces with me as he always has been, he nearly trips backwards. I just barely manage to grab fistfuls of his shirt and haul him upright before he collapses to the ground.
For a moment, we stand pressed against the maple tree, trying to catch our breath.
“Are you okay?” he whispers. I try not to shiver at the way his breath ghosts against my temple. “You hit your head.”
“I might have a bump in the morning, but I’m fine.”
“You sure?”
“Mhm.” Then, because it seems like the right thing to say, I ask, “Are you alright?”
“Yeah.”
“Where are the rest of the balloons?”
Theo snorts softly. “I dropped them when you tripped.”
“You mean when you grabbed me?”
“Yeah, that.”
Just like that, this feels like the funniest thing in the world. Here we are, longtime foes, accidentally tangled in the shadows for the second—no, third—time. Why does this keep happening?
I expect Theo to immediately attempt escape again, and I’m prepared to viciously bicker with him as we figure out how to extricate ourselves from this trap.
Instead, he remains still. I lift my face. My eyes have adjusted to the dark just enough to see the faintest gleam of his green eyes in the dark and the subtle glow of his golden hair, which looks more silvery in the night. If I didn’t know that he was such a grouch, he might remind me of sunshine. Or maybe something more like moonlight.
I don’t know how many seconds pass as we simply stare at each other in complete silence. Yet, just like in the basement, he is the one who breaks it.
His lips part, and I tell myself that the only reason I look down at his mouth is because it’s right in my direct line of sight.
“I…” Theo pauses, swallows hard. “I wanted to tell you something.”
I’m suddenly aware of the fact that he’s still touching my waist—one hand resting there as if it’s the most natural thing in the world. I’m shocked to discover that I don’t mind the weight of his warm hand against the cool silk of my clothing. I don’t mind it at all.
Except, this is Theo Danvers . He hates me. Therefore, by default, I hate him. And he hurt my fragile teenage feelings so acutely that I can still recall the potent sting of it twelve years later.
I shouldn’t be so breathless right now. My heart shouldn’t be beating so fast. I shouldn’t be gazing into his eyes, eager to hear whatever words might drip from his lips like honey.
“Oh?” I prompt him.
He nods. “At Camp Hannefort, when we played that game… in Cabin B…”
“Theo, you don’t have to—”
“No, listen,” he murmurs, his voice somehow both gentle and harsh. This man is a walking contradiction, and yet I’m just now realizing how oddly alluring it is. “What happened back then… it wasn’t personal.”
“It’s fine, Theo.”
He ignores me. “I was having a hard time that summer. I mean, I guess we were all having a hard time, given that it was divorce camp, but my point is that I was struggling with some serious anxiety that summer. That, and my teenage angst dial was turned, like, all the way up.”
Did he just make a joke? A chuckle slips past my lips, mostly from surprise. The corner of his mouth quirks up in a tiny smile for the briefest of moments, then he grows serious again.
“The guys practically dragged me to the cabin that night. I didn’t do well with forced socialization. I guess I still don’t, but it was really bad back then. The stuff with my mom… I just really don’t like attention. I prefer to fly under the radar.”
His mom, also known as Daphne Shay. She’s a Hollywood legend. I completely forgot about that.
Suddenly, certain things about him are starting to make a lot more sense. His reclusiveness. His tendency to flinch whenever more than one pair of eyes landed on him.
“I see,” I murmur, because I don’t know what else to say.
“I also have a bit of claustrophobia. Thanks to Dr. Sans, I learned that summer that it’s mostly because I don’t like feeling out of control.”
I sigh heavily. “I remember that old man. He was too smart for his own good. Thanks to him, I’ve been carrying around the knowledge that my lighthearted approach to life is actually just emotional flippancy employed as a defense mechanism. If I act like nothing matters, I won’t get hurt. At least, that’s the goal.”
Theo blinks in surprise. “Oh.”
“That’s what he said to me. Verbatim.”
“Yikes.”
“I know. He’s probably right, though.” And I’m definitely sharing way too much information right now. Also, we’re still practically glued together. Warmth rises to my cheeks, and I’m grateful that it’s too dark for him to see them flush. “Anyway, we weren’t talking about me.”
“Right.” Theo clears his throat. It’s an effort not to drop my gaze down to his throat, and the long line of his neck. The smooth skin. His understated, masculine scent.
What is wrong with you? I snap at myself.
I’ve always known that Theo was handsome. It was a fact. Undeniable. Like how the sky is blue and the grass is green.
Now, however, in this moment, he is suddenly so much more than merely handsome.
“So, yeah,” Theo continues, clearly feeling awkward as he chooses to look over my shoulder at the tree trunk instead of down at my face. “That was a very stressful situation for me. Especially with the way everyone was laughing and pointing at us, making such a big deal out of it.”
“Well, we did famously fight with each other practically all summer.”
Theo shrugs. “I know. I guess I can’t blame them. We were all just kids. Anyway, when we were stuck in that closet, the reason I didn’t just go through with it and get it over with isn’t because I was repulsed by you or anything like that. It’s just… I was having an anxiety attack the entire time.”
I stare at him, trying to piece together the details of that night. He was rather tense. And, like, dead silent. As if he’d completely shut down. I thought it was nothing more than anger and disgust at being trapped with me.
Now, I see how selfish that was of me.
“I’m sorry,” I breathe. “If I had known, I would’ve…”
Theo shakes his head. “You don’t need to apologize for anything. I just felt like you should know that. Now. Even though it was years ago. Because I don’t like the idea that you’ve spent all this time believing that I was horrified by the prospect of kissing you. I wasn’t, for the record.”
For some reason, I laugh. “But you hated me.”
“Hate is a strong word,” he replies. “You annoyed me. But you also made me feel quite jealous.”
“ Jealous ?”
“You were so good at being around people. You were friends with everyone. It’s like it was all so effortless for you, being tossed into a vat of emotionally traumatized kids for the summer. Also, no offense, but you were kind of obnoxious.”
I snort. “Yeah, I know.”
“Anyway… I would have kissed you.”
My heart stutters. “What?”
Theo frowns slightly, as if he’s deeply concentrating on choosing the right words. Or maybe he simply hates that he’s admitting this out loud.
“Not because it was part of the game,” he clarifies. “But because I really did think you were pretty. Kissing you wouldn’t have been something I had to force myself to do. I think I… liked you. Deep down.”
At last, he meets my gaze. My mind plummets back in time to when we were sixteen and seventeen, glaring at each other across rooms. I remember that a significant amount of my mental energy was spent paying attention to him, and I told myself at the time it was because I wanted to avoid him at all costs, but I also recall how handsome I thought he was. I thought he was the cutest boy at camp, if not for his bad attitude. Not that I ever admitted that to anyone.
And when that bottle he spun landed on me, I can’t deny that I remember exactly how it felt to have an excited thrill race down my spine. At the time, I had never been kissed. It’s not like I had been saving it up for the right person, either. It just… hadn’t happened yet. Simple as that.
I remember thinking that I should have been grossed out at the prospect of Theo Danvers, of all people, being my first kiss. I was so confused. So annoyed. Plus, everyone was herding us toward the closet, acting like this was the grandest event of the decade.
Then, Theo refused to even touch me. He crammed himself into the furthest corner of the tiny closet so that he could prevent the slightest brush of our awkward, bony teenage bodies together.
I’d been so offended. So horrified.
So heartbroken.
When I came home to Mermaid Shores, I had to do whatever it took to erase that memory from my mind. To overpower it with something else. I wanted to get my first kiss over with as soon as possible. I didn’t want to feel that sickening thrill and crushing disappointment again. So, I chose someone nice enough. Friendly enough. Cute enough. And Eric was willing and eager, as most teenage boys tend to be.
Even so, it took me a long time to forget about Theo Danvers.
In fact, I clearly never truly forgot about him at all.
I swallow back the unfamiliar knot of nervousness forming in my throat. I’ve never felt like this around a man before. Never. Not even the few that I’ve casually dated over the years. I always thought feeling like this—fluttery and warm and dizzy—was a mere myth. Love was a myth. Or, at the very least, whatever love was… it wasn’t worth the misery of potentially losing it.
I take a deep breath and tell him the truth.
“I think I liked you, too.”
I’m almost certain that time stops. The rising moon pauses, hovering among the stars with bated breath as it peers down at us. The crickets chirping throughout the woods go quiet in an effort to hear us better. Even the ocean in the distance seems to quiet her raging waves.
“You…? What?” comes Theo’s reply.
I don’t know what to say, so I merely shrug. His hand is still on my waist. In fact, I’m almost certain he’s tightened his hold. Maybe without realizing it.
Then, his gaze lowers to my lips.
I can’t make sense of what’s about to happen. I’m supposed to despise this guy. He’s the thorn in my side, a ghost from the past returning to haunt me.
Despite all of that, I think I want to kiss him.
I lean into him slightly.
A sudden snap echoes to our left, freezing me in place. A branch breaking underfoot.
“There you guys are!” shouts Eric with a booming laugh that pierces the night and shatters the moment.
Theo yanks himself away from me, and this time the pine trees relent. He stumbles backward a few steps as Eric approaches.
“Everyone was wondering where you went,” he explains, seemingly unbothered by witnessing us tangled in a questionable and compromising position. Either that, or he’s very good at keeping his true thoughts off his face. “I swore I saw you run into the woods, though, so I volunteered to hunt you down. You guys okay?”
I force a smile. “Yeah, Eric. We’re fine. I just, um, tripped over my own feet. Theo was helping me.”
Theo is silent, frowning at Eric.
Eric shrugs, still grinning. He jerks his chin at Theo, his hands shoved casually in his pockets. “Hey, man. Theo, right? I didn’t know you and Lucy were friends.”
When Theo doesn’t say anything, I answer, “We’ve known each other for a long time.”
“Ah, just like us, then!” Eric, clearly not picking up on the tension of the scene, keeps talking as the three of us start heading out of the woods. He smacks Theo lightly on the arm as if they’re old friends. “Lucy and I met when we were teenagers.”
“That’s nice,” Theo grinds out.
I bring up the rear behind them, glancing between the two of them and trying to figure out why I feel so strange and naked now that Theo’s touch is gone from my waist.
Eric leans toward him conspiratorially, tossing a wink over his shoulder at me. “In fact, I had the honor of being her first kiss. It was fate, I think. I mean, Lucy was away at camp all that summer, and then I ended up leaving town not long after she got back. We almost missed each other. Of course, we haven’t seen each other since then, but it’s a good memory nonetheless.”
“How… nice,” Theo replies.
Is that the only word he can think of? Nice?
My stomach flips at the thought of him putting two and two together. If Eric was my first kiss, right after camp ended, that meant Theo was actually almost the first boy to kiss me. Not that those things really matter in the grand scheme of things. But those firsts are always more cemented in your memories than the ones that follow. First kiss. First love. Blah, blah.
Eric continues chattering all the way back, telling Theo all about that summer without any prompting. I almost want to tell Eric to stop talking just to put Theo out of his misery, but I hold my tongue. Both of us are silent.
When we emerge from the woods, practically everyone is soaking wet. Eric is immediately distracted and wanders off, and I swear I hear Theo breathe a sigh of relief. Over by the porch, Josie and Elijah are kissing each other goodnight. The girls are gathering by the back door, preparing to head back to the slumber party. The boys are diligently picking up the remnants of the broken balloons scattered across the dark lawn.
Theo turns to me. “Goodnight, Lucy.”
I open my mouth to respond, but nothing comes out.
For the first time in my life, I’m speechless.
What happened between us back there? Was he really about to kiss me? Or was that a figment of my imagination? The lingering tendril of an old memory?
I’ll probably never know.
Theo sees something in my expression that causes him to frown.
Before I can figure out what to say, he walks away. I stare at his retreating form while his words echo in my head.
I would have kissed you. I think I liked you.
Someone knocks their shoulder into mine, jostling me out of my muddled thoughts. Mabel is standing next to me, one eyebrow lifted in a silent question.
I simply shake my head at her and head toward the porch to collect my cousin before her husband-to-be tries to whisk her away for the rest of the night.