20. Melodies Gentle Push #2
“When Dad broke his leg, I called in Rusty and Dane, and we sat right there at the bar and talked about what was working and what wasn’t.
I worked with them so that they could have time off when they needed it.
I’ve been feeding alone for months and still have time to go out with the girls and get what I need done, without feeling like I’m burning the candle at both ends.
Bo has been an immense help, but why can’t he see me for who I am?
Why is it that I’m Tyler's little sister, or Rick and Melodie’s girl?
Why can’t everyone treat me like Falon?” I close the dishwasher and start it.
By this time, Mom has a sad, knowing look on her face.
“I didn’t realize we did that, honey,” she says, twisting her ring around her finger. “I thought we were protecting you. I didn’t realize we were belittling what you were doing. I’m sorry, honey. I just thought that if you had a man who helped you, then you could be you.”
“But I am me, and I am doing what I want. What twenty-three-year-old can say they own a working ranch free and clear, and are renovating the house of their dreams? I make enough from ranching to support me and the renovation, and if you and Dad looked at the business account, you would see I’ve helped you guys, too.
Enough that if you wanted, you and Dad could take that cruise you’ve been talking about for the last five years. ” I pat her hand across the counter.
“Wow. I was trying to guard a little girl, and here you are all grown up and doing it all on your own.”
I nod, and she wipes at her eyes as tears start to fall.
“Now that we’d done the heavy, how about you tell me about the dinner you and Bo had the other night. Sitting at the table by the window at Will’s. Were you two on a date?” She smiles all big and totally knowing.
“As if you didn’t know. The pie from Mrs. Winslow, the quilt from Janet, and the errands that led us to Will’s. Seems like you and half the town are playing cupid.”
“Who, me?” She places a hand to her chest.
"Yes, you!"
"I don't do the whole matchmaking thing." She starts turning her ring around her finger again. "I'm just sitting here." She takes a sip of coffee. "Watching my daughter try not to smile every time that man says her name."
I look at the desert I made. Oreo ice cream cake.
"How are you really?" she asks. “You and Bo?”
I look up, and she isn't smiling anymore. She is just my mom, asking.
"Good," I say. "Really good." I pause. "And scared."
"Of Bo?"
“No, Tyler."
She nods. She's been waiting for that one, too.
"He's going to come home," I say. "Eventually, and he's going to have something to say about the two of us. And I don't know if he and I will survive it."
“You and Bo?”
“No, Tyler and me.”
She is quiet for a second. Then: "Did I ever tell you about Tom Hitchens?"
I rack my brain. "No."
"Tom Hitchens," she says, settling back in her chair, "drove a red truck and played guitar badly and with tremendous confidence." The corner of her mouth goes up. "I was dating him when I met your father."
I stare at her. "I didn't know that."
"There's a lot you don't know." She raises her eyebrows. "The relevant part is that my sister Clare liked Rick first. Had liked him for two years. When your father asked me to dinner, I almost said no because of Clare. I’d broken up with Tom a few weeks prior, and Rick had been waiting."
"What happened?"
"Clare was furious." She winces. "Six months where she barely spoke to me. It was the hardest thing I'd ever done in our family." She pauses. "Then she met Gerald Patterson at our wedding. They've been married twenty-seven years. She calls me every Sunday."
I laugh. How had I not known this?
"Tyler loves you," she says. "He loves Bo.
He's going to be angry, and he's going to say things he'll have to apologize for, and it's going to be rough." She meets my eyes. "But your dad and I will be there. We both know what it’s like, and we have both seen the way you and Bo have skirted around each other for years. The two of you deserve a chance; don’t let Tyler stop you. If he loves you, he’ll understand.”
My throat gets tight.
"You're not Tyler's little sister to Bo," she says.
"You haven't been for a long time." She looks around the kitchen, at the shelving I built, the chandelier light coming through from the entryway, the mean I’d made, the table I'd set for four, because that's just what it was now.
"You're a woman who's been holding everything together quietly for a long time.
" She looks back at me. "It’s about time we see it for what it is. You're showing your true colors.”
I blink hard.
Outside, I can hear Dad's voice carrying from the back yard and Rowdy barking at the squirrels.
Mom reaches over and squeezes my hand once. Then she picks up her fork and goes back to her cake. How did moms do that? Say the right thing at the right time? It was like a superpower that only moms had.
The back door opens, and Dad and Bo come in. Dad goes straight for the coffee and the cake I’d already cut and plated. Bo looks at me across the kitchen.
I smile at him.
He smiles back and nods.
Mom says nothing. Which, from Melodie Williams, said everything.
Later, after they'd gone and the dishes were done, I sit on the porch steps with Rowdy while Bo locked the barn. He comes across the yard in the dark and stops at the bottom of the steps.
"Good night?" he asks.
"Really good night."
He sits down beside me, placing his hand over mine. The stars are out, the big Montana sky stretching out above us, stars you didn’t see in the city shining overhead.
I think about Clare calling every Sunday.
I think about Tyler coming home.
I think about my mother's voice: You just be you.
I lace my fingers with Bo's on the step.
His fingers fold through mine.
Bo leans over and kisses my forehead, a favorite of mine.