Chapter 13
SLADE
“Do you have your own tools?”
His leg bounces, continuing to avoid all direct eye contact.
“Nah, man. Aren’t those provided?”
I rest back in my chair. “How would you go about changing a timing belt?”
The kid’s eyes flick to mine and then dart away as he twitches. There’s silence except for the sound of the compressor.
I cross my arms over my chest. “You able to pass a drug test?”
That has him popping out of the chair. “I don’t need this.” He charges out of my office door.
I stand, following him out. He swipes an arm across the counter, sending the cup of pens flying. He rips the door open, and it slams shut.
“Another one bites the dust,” Trig sings, taking a drink from his water bottle.
“What’d you say to piss this one off?” Carson pulls the air hose around the front of a van.
I pick up the pens scattered over the floor, ignoring their comments.
“All right. That’s it.” It’s Wind’s voice this time, but in a dry-ass tone I’m not sure I’ve heard before.
I set the pens back on the counter, and Wind approaches with his hands on his hips .
“It’s been a week. One whole week of this. Any more of your passive aggressiveness, and I’m calling Alex.”
I lean against the counter, crossing one ankle over the other.
If he thinks that’s a threat, he needs to think again.
I wish Alex were here. We understand each other.
There’s no need for talking when we want to keep it all locked up inside until we’re ready to face whatever it is.
Plus, she’d have these cars moving in and out twice as fast.
“We can’t handle much more of this kind of environment. It’s hostile and unfit for constructive work. It’s mentally unhealthy conditions.”
I cock my head to the side. “Hostile?”
Trig screws the cap on his water bottle. “It’s worse than usual. I mean, we’re used to you barking orders and making demands, but this . . .” He swirls his bottle in a circle. “Mopey, calm, only moderately irritated state is alarming. We don’t know how to work like this.”
“It’s depressing to watch.” Wind scratches his neck. “Millie says you’re emotionally detaching.”
I hold very still, keeping the explosion of laughter that wants to tumble out along with a long string of foul words.
It’s been a week since I’ve seen Sarah, and, dammit, I can’t quit thinking about her. I miss our morning rides together, and I hate that. I want my mornings to go back to being routine and simple, where the only person I worry about is myself.
I might be a little quieter than usual. But I’m just keeping to myself and trying to figure out what to do about Sarah.
Or really, the thoughts and feelings she’s stirring that I haven’t experienced in a very long time.
Maybe ever. It’s itchy and uncomfortable, and I’m trying to block it all out because I know these morons will read into it and want to dissect every last detail.
I’m not doing that. So, I’ve kept my mouth shut and worked, needing to drown it out.
Carson checks the pressure on a tire and stands. “It’s enough, man. We’re calling an intervention.”
“You are?” I scoff.
They stare at me .
“Yeah,” Carson confirms. “We’re finishing up here and going for beers. Any more of you like this,” he points the nozzle at me, “and we’ll be running for the door like that kid. It’s weird, and this shit has got to stop.”
Wind claps his hands together. “Let’s go. Wrap this up, so we can get Slade’s head out of his ass to see the sun is peeking out after years of darkness and shining too brightly for him to handle.”
“What the hell? I’m not a groundhog.”
Wind’s eyebrows shoot up, and his eyes widen as he turns away.
They work while I figure out how to avoid discussing anything with them.
An hour later, I climb out of my truck in Crusin’s parking lot because if I don’t, these ladies will show up at my house, which would be worse. Krissy would get involved, and Brandon would have his glass to the wall, listening to the absolute bullshit this little show-and-share will entail.
I just need to get in, drink my beer while I appease these dickheads, and get out.
I don’t want to talk about feelings or depression or avoidance or any of the other big-ass words Millie is feeding Wind.
I want to go home to my quiet house, where I don’t have to listen or think about anything.
Mostly, the woman across the street who somehow wiggled her way right underneath my decorated skin.
I tug open the door, and the bar is quiet for a Friday night. I spot the table where my friends sit, already laughing and sipping from their bottles.
“Glad you showed. You knew if you didn’t, we’d find you.” Carson tips his bottle back, hiding a grin like he knows this is taking every bit of my limited patience.
I pull a stool out, and Wind hands me a beer from the bucket. “Here. This will help.”
I want to ask why he didn’t invite Millie to moderate story hour, but I don’t for fear he might actually say she’s coming. I like Millie. She’s nice and sweet, but I don’t need her nose in whatever will go down here tonight .
I rest my arms on the table and sip my beer. If these fools think I have anything to say, they’re wrong.
Carson sets his beer on the table. “Pull your phone out.”
My eyes meet his, wondering if that bold tone is directed at me.
“Come on. Pull it out.” He waves his fingers at me.
Trig and Wind stare me down as if they think I’m actually doing anything they say.
“If you don’t, we’ll text Krissy and call Alex. She said she was free tonight.”
“Have you all lost your damn minds? What do you need my phone for?”
“It’s time to grow a pair and message her.” Trig leans forward, resting his forearm on the table. “Come on. We’ll hold your hand.”
“Who?” I play dumb. They are trying to call me out, but I’m not budging.
“Shit.” Wind throws his arms in the air, his hands landing on the table, rattling our bottles. “See, we should have just shown up at his house. Then, we could have made him walk across the street and knock on her door.”
I lean back, crossing my arms over my chest. “You can’t make me do anything. I don’t know what in the hell this is all about, but I’m two seconds from being done here.”
“Fine. Have it your way.” Carson pulls out his phone and taps the screen.
The ring blares from the speaker, and my gaze skirts the surrounding area to make sure everyone is far enough away not to be disturbed by their shenanigans.
“Hey, guys.” Alex’s voice comes through the speaker. “How’s it going?”
“Not good,” Wind says.
Lex laughs. “Is he there?”
“Yeah, he’s here.” Trig’s dumbass smirk creeps across his mouth.
“Give him the phone,” Alex demands, and Carson extends his phone to me.
I glare at him and take it, leaving my stool and heading outside where I can talk without the gossip girls eavesdropping.
“Hey,” I say, putting the phone to my ear and pushing out the door into the peace and quiet.
“It sounds like you’re having fun.” Her underlying amusement makes me want to groan.
This is just what I need—five minutes outside, not talking to Alex about anything in particular, so I can go back in and tell these assholes goodnight.
“I’ve been meaning to call and see what you’ve been working on.”
“Not much. Mark’s schedule is insane, and with the girls, it’s difficult to get any time in the garage.”
“How are the girls?”
“Peyton and Ellie are happy being two and getting into everything. Bree is starting to talk about boys and makeup, and Mark is about to lose his shit over it.”
I chuckle. “Tell him good luck when the boys begin texting and calling.”
She pushes out a breath. “I’ll have him call you. You know I’m no good at this girly stuff.”
“Well, settle in. It never ends.”
There are a few beats of silence, and I know what’s coming. I exhale slowly, waiting.
“So, you want to tell me what’s going on with you, or is this something we’re not talking about because it’s a big deal and lots of feelings are involved?”
“Nothing is going on.”
She laughs. “Ok. Sooooo, your withdrawn and less-surly mood is a sudden behavioral shift that has nothing to do with the beautiful woman across the street to whom you secretly gifted new tires and brakes?”
Those narks.
I run a hand over my face. “No. And the tires weren’t new. She’s too smart for that. They’re ten percent worn. ”
Silence. I check to be sure we’re still connected.
My shoulders ease down, and I glance up at the sky. “She. . . I think money is tight. She has two kids, and her tires were down to the wear bar.”
“Grandpa Cal would be proud of your ingenuity and generosity.” I hear the smirk attached to that comment.
I learned from the best. Cal would have done the same damn thing.
“I seem to recall you asking me not all that long ago when enough is enough. I also believe it was you who told me it was time to quit running and hiding and finally go after what I want.”
I huff out a laugh. “This is in no way the same thing. You’d been pining after Mark for years.”
“But I was scared, and so are you.” She drops that there and lets it dangle as if I might bite. Not happening.
She continues. “A lot is changing. Krissy is moving out, the garage is exploding with business, and there’s a beautiful woman who might have finally cracked your hardass I-don’t-need-or-want-anyone state.”
My jaw clenches. “She hasn’t cracked anything. I gave her a ride to work and helped her out a few times. It’s nothing.”
I pause because she knows this nothing feels like something, and I don’t want it to. She sits tight, waiting for me to admit it.
I surrender to the one person who will get it. “She’s . . .different.”
“You know, it’s ok if you liked doing those things for her or if you even miss doing them.”
I roll my eyes, my breath creating a cloud in the cold air. “I don’t miss shit. I’m getting back to my regular schedule.”
“All right,” I hear the annoyance roll through the phone.
“Listen, you can deny this all you want. Hell, I denied needing and wanting Mark for eight years. There’s a reason this chick has you moping around.
It tells me she’s different in the best way because there hasn’t been a woman who’s made you do a double-take in.
. .well, ever. So, you need to quit being afraid and pull yourself from your sullen, depressed state and see what could be.
You are too good a man, Slade, to reduce yourself to a life of self-imposed isolated loneliness. ”
She takes a breath. Alex is a woman of few words until she’s not.
“It’s been long enough. Krissy is a grown woman, and it’s time, man, for you to get a life.
The one we both know you really want.” She calls me on my shit and then lowers her voice.
“Take it from me. What’s on the other side of fear is so worth the risk. ”
My stomach squeezes tight, pushing my beer upward at just the thought of seeing what could be and losing everything I want to call mine.
I hear one of the girls begin to cry.
“I’ve got to go. Hang in there. Be patient with the guys. They love you.”
I grunt.
“Oh, and Slade, just ask her out. I have a feeling it’ll be ok.”
She hangs up before I can shoot her confidence down.
I watch my breath billow in the air for a few long seconds before heading inside to the blabbermouths.
Alex isn’t wrong. I closed myself off from the possibility of a relationship long ago.
If I’m honest, it’s not because I don’t want one.
It’s just that you can give your entire self to someone, make plans, see the future, and then have it all ripped right out from under you as if none of it mattered at all.
I am afraid. I’ve been there and have absolutely no intention of ever being that fool again.
Inside, I slide back on my stool, and all laughter and conversation instantly die as three pairs of eyes settle on me.
I hand Carson his phone.
“So?” he asks as if I’ll give him even the tiniest nugget of information about what Alex and I talked about.
“The girls are doing great.”
Their heads fall back toward the ceiling with simultaneous groans, and I want to smile, but I hold it back.
“Are we ordering food or what?” Their gazes land back on me. “If not, I’m going home. I have things to consider.” It’s all they’re getting .
One side of Trig’s mouth lifts as Carson’s arms cross over his chest.
“I knew it! I knew she’d get through that thick skull,” Carson says as if he just won a bet.
“She didn’t do shit.” I adjust my hat and grab a menu.
“Ha.” Wind claps Trig and Carson on the back. “He’s back, boys. Now, we can help you adjust to life outside the cave.”
“I’m not adjusting to anything. Nothing changes.”
Carson’s eyes peek at me out of the corner. “Yeah, right. You can be as sweet as you want to the girl next door, but to us, you'd better be the asshole you’ve always been.”
“That won’t be hard.”
Carson throws his arms out to the side. “Man, it’s about time. You’ve got to make room for the things you want. If you keep shutting everything and everyone out, you’re going to push all the good out with the bad.”
“I’m not making room for anything.”
They all grin. “Hell yeah, you are. It might take time, but we’ve got you, man.” Trig smacks my back.
“It’s like a garden, bro,” Wind says. “You’ve got to plant the seeds. Give it time and room for love to bloom.”
The three of us look at Dr. Love.
“What in the hell?” Trig says, a beer halfway to his lips. “Are you snorting rose petals and packing a bow and arrow?”
The top of Wind’s cheeks turn red above his beard, but he shrugs it off. “Millie has all these books about love languages and shit. There’s good stuff in there. From what I can tell, these doctors know what they’re talking about.”
We all laugh as the waitress takes our order. I relay mine, and Carson lifts his chin at me.
“I’m proud of you.”
“You all have lost your damn minds if you think anything is changing.”
They glance at each other and then back at me .
I exhale. “I’m only thinking about it.”
They cheer, raising their beers before taking a drink.
Alex is right. It’s been a long time, and I’m scared. I’m scared to even think about spending time with Sarah or anyone. So, I’ll give it time and just see what happens.