Chapter 53
SARAH
I cling to him, desperate for more. Slade quietly kicks the door shut and lowers my legs. My toes touch the floor, but his large, muscular arms wrap around me, keeping me close and making me feel so safe. Even in the dark, his green eyes find mine. Attentive. Gentle. Sure.
My heart beats fast with anticipation of sharing everything with him. I’m nervous, but it’s the best kind of anxious tension.
I wasn’t sure I’d ever find myself with a man I care about and trust so much I can’t stand not being with him.
“This can happen now or months from now. My promise isn’t going anywhere.” His voice is soft but ragged.
I fist his shirt, choking out the truth. “This. . .is new for me.” My gaze finds his again. “Being so cared for and allowed to care for you the same way. I didn’t know love could be like this.”
The back of his fingers grazes my cheek.
“I love you,” I whisper. “And as hard as I tried not to, I need you. All the time.”
His forehead falls to mine. “I’m pretty sure I fell in love with all three of you the moment you set foot in my house. I never wanted you to leave. I wanted to be around you all the time. The noise, chaos, and mess. I don’t ever want to be without it.”
I huff a quiet laugh. “You might change your mind when you’re thrown up on, or the kids are screaming because you don’t have the right snack. ”
He shakes his head. “No. There’s no changing this, Sarah. I want it all. Maybe someday we’ll add to the chaos.”
I pull away just a little to look at him. “Yeah?”
He nods, and the intensity I see in his eyes burns through me, sending waves of heat soaring.
I undo one button on his shirt and then another until I reach the end. I push it over his shoulders, and it drops to the floor.
I smile, gripping the hem of his white T-shirt and tugging it up. He pulls it over his head, and I gape at the defined muscle underneath, marked with an intricate. . .lion head that spills over his shoulder onto his chest. It’s beautiful and so entirely fitting.
He stands completely still, watching me take it in. I raise my eyebrows, my tongue pressing to the corner of my mouth. This man has no idea how incredibly gorgeous he is.
I trail my fingers up his inked arms, rippled with veins. “I’ve wondered how far these stretch.”
His hands grip my waist, and he walks me back toward the bed.
“Will you tell me about them?”
“Not right now.” It’s that commanding tone, and it makes me smile.
The back of my legs hit the edge of the bed. “Fine, Bossy Pants.”
He grunts, his hands sliding underneath my cropped shirt and pulling it over my head. He wastes no time stealing my bra with it.
His gaze pours over me, and I spread my hand over his heart, feeling it pound against my palm.
Those long, permanently stained, calloused fingers skim my stomach, moving carefully over each rib.
I suck in a breath, and he watches me.
“I’ve wanted you like this for far too long.” The fierce focus of his gaze tells me just how much he means that.
I sit on the bed, pulling the waist of his jeans that sit low on his hips to bring him with me. The weight of his body settles on top of mine. His blazing skin surrounds me, and his hand glides up my thigh, gripping my hip, his finger slipping under the waist of my leggings .
His mouth hovers over mine, the ends of his hair falling against my face. “You cannot wear these if you want to do anything other than this.”
I run my fingers through his hair, which is as wild as it is sexy. “That so?” I use his words, guiding his mouth to mine. “Seems you’ve been prepared.”
“I only make promises I intend to keep.”
My fingers trace over each defined ab, feeling them flex, but stop before undoing the button on his jeans. “You know, you told me once that at some point, I was going to have to trust you.”
He kisses me achingly slow, moving down my neck to my collarbone, and then swirls his tongue around the most sensitive skin. I whimper as it catches my breath, and he pulls away.
That dimple that has taunted me for months appears, winking at me.
“I think I won you over.” His mouth roams my stomach. “Despite my cold.” Kiss. “Hard.” Kiss. “Bitterness.”
I laugh. “Listen, King of the Jungle.” His gaze lifts to mine. “We’ll have to see how these next few minutes go before the full ruling is in on that.”
“A few minutes, my ass,” he grumbles, but it’s playful and sounds a heck of a lot like love.
I bite my bottom lip as those rough hands climb up my body. He wraps around me, and he rolls, flipping me on top of him. I straddle his hips, and he stares up at me. The intensity and heat I see there send pulses through me.
I lean down and take his mouth, pressing the tip of my tongue to his but pulling away, and he tries to chase me.
I grin. “You’re sure about this, Wildcat? It might be a lot.”
He nudges me with his nose, forcing my gaze to his. “Sarah, you can drive me crazy and run your sassy mouth all you want. I only want to be stuck with you. Just you.” His eyes wander between mine .
I unbutton his jeans as his hands grip my ass. “Well, fair warning, you’re gonna want to be extra careful with how often you wear your bossy pants.”
______
I lay with my head on his bare chest, listening to his slow, steady breaths. I slide my leg over his, wanting to be as close as possible. I’ve never felt more at peace—just lying next to him, actually believing it all might really be ok.
I trail my finger over Newton’s Law, scrolled across his forearm.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.
The law might only apply to the physical world, but there was a time when it felt true about my life.
With every stroke I took, it seemed there was an opposing force pushing against me, holding me down to keep me from taking another.
All I wanted was to reach the shore, where the storm wasn’t raging.
I was so tired of living in survival mode, barely holding my head above water, lost and so damn tired of treading, never getting closer.
But I think I see now that, sometimes, we just have to keep fighting the current and pushing through, no matter what stands in our way or how difficult that next thrust forward might be.
We have to keep believing that eventually, we’ll hit the sand where we can bathe in the sunshine.
If we’re lucky, we might find someone there to lie beside us and soak up all the goodness that’s been waiting.
Maybe it’s just like Slade said, it’s the hard road I had to take so that it would lead me here. To him.
“So, you got this one when you were accepted into the engineering program, but what about this one?” I move on, tracing the dark vine that crawls and wraps around his forearm.
His chest rises with an inhale and falls. “My mom’s name was Ivy. She was. . .beautiful and smart, but she had a difficult life. Her love was suffocating at times, but she sacrificed everything for Krissy and me. Always put herself last.” He pauses. “I wish she could’ve seen herself the way I did.”
I set my chin on his chest to look at him. “Sometimes, we can be so desperate for love we’ll spend our whole lives begging someone to love us back, just settling for what little they’ll give us.”
He brushes the hair out of my face, his fingers tracing through it and down my back. “You didn’t.”
“I could have. It’s easy to be convinced you can’t live without someone when you have nothing. Slade, I was so scared. I spent years thinking that’s all I deserved, blaming myself for the choices I made.”
“You were never to blame.”
“No, but sometimes, life just sweeps in and leaves behind a person you no longer recognize, and the only thing you’re left with is a load of lies you can’t help but believe are true.”
I spread my hand flat across his chest, feeling his heartbeat.
“Your mom loved hard and well.” I press up on my elbow to look at him.
“It’s the only way you turned out like this.
Beautiful. Smart.” I inch closer. “Kind. Gentle.” I brush my lips against his.
“With a scowl that is ridiculously appealing.”
His hand cups the back of my head, and his mouth captures mine. He kisses me long and slow, my body sliding on top of his.
When I need air, I pull away, pressing my lips to the intricate lion head. “I want to know about Mufasa.”
“You can’t name him.” His soft, deep voice rumbles.
I glare at him. “That’s not fair. I knew you were all roaring lion.”
He rolls his eyes, and I smile, resting between his legs with my cheek on the exquisite artwork. “I got it right after she died, when everything fell apart. It represented what I vowed to be. Brave, strong, loyal. . .wise. I never wanted to be blindsided again.”
I stare at him, recognizing the scars of remorse in his green eyes. The same ones I bear.
“You know, I’ve wondered if maybe we have to go through hell in order to actually appreciate what comes after. ”
His eyes linger between mine. “It’s taken me a long time to get to the appreciative part.”
I squint one eye at him. “Yeah, but if you hadn’t taken so long, we wouldn’t be here.”
His mouth runs over my cheek. “I’ve been thinking the lion needs an update.”
I twirl the end of his hair around my finger. Twice. It can curl around the tip of my finger twice, and it feels like a privilege to get to be the only one who knows that.
“Oh, yeah. I think he’s pretty perfect.” I kiss the skin covered by the exquisite lion that represents everything he is.
His teeth graze my jaw and neck. “His eyes.” I feel a little nip.
I pull away, tilting my head to inspect the fierce animal.
Slade’s rough fingers run up and down my spine, making me shiver. “One brown and one blue.”
My gaze snaps to his.
“I’ve never seen anything more beautiful in my entire life. I couldn’t look away. Not that day you walked into the shop. Not now.”
I blink, my eyes filling with so much love I can’t breathe.
“Sarah, you see me the way no one else ever has.”
I crawl forward, wrapping my arms around his neck. My throat burns, but I smile through it. “That’s pretty permanent.”
His eyes travel between my watery ones. “Yes. I promise to love you the best I know how.”
I nod, unable to speak. “Me, too.”
He kisses me lightly, rolling us. He stares down at me. “Just go easy on me.” A sexy smirk curls at his lips, and I laugh.
I shake my head, hooking my legs around his back. “Never.”