Chapter Thirty-Two
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
Starlet
On Wednesday afternoon, I was summoned to the principal’s office.
I hadn’t slept a wink the night prior. I was physically ill for most of the night, unable to do anything other than throw up everything inside me. Whitney was worried I had the flu, but I was too ashamed to tell her what happened.
I knew she’d hit me with an “I told you so,” and I wasn’t ready to hear that. I wasn’t prepared to hear anything. I was simply terrified about how I’d screwed up my life. Everything I’d been working for over the past few years was about to be wiped away because I decided to fall in love with a man who loved me, too.
As I walked through the halls of the high school, I noticed Milo, and he caught my stare and came rushing toward me.
“What are you doing here? You should be at home, Milo. You shouldn’t be at school dealing with what you’re going through,” I told him.
“I needed to check on you. What’s going on?” he whispered, stepping closer.
“Don’t, Milo,” I softly spoke back.
“You didn’t answer my messages.”
“I can’t do that,” I told him, biting back the tears fighting to fall.
“Star—”
“ Don’t ,” I whispered-shouted. I locked my eyes with his, and instantly, I felt the tears seconds away from falling down my face. His eyes were packed with concern, with care, with the gentleness that I’d learned to love from him. I love you. I love you so much it hurts. “Don’t call me that, Milo. Please. I can’t talk to you. I have a meeting with your uncle.”
“I can come, too.”
“No. That would just make things worse. I knew what I was doing, and I went into it with my eyes wide open. Now I have to face the music. It’s not your fault or your responsibility to deal with this. I have to face the consequences.”
I rounded the corner into an empty hallway. Milo followed me and glanced around before grabbing my arm and pulling me into the janitor’s closet. The same closet I had pulled him into weeks prior when he was wasted.
“Are you out of your mind?!” I whispered, shoving my hands against his chest. “You can’t do this, Milo.”
“I know, I know, shit!” he shouted, raking his hand through his dark hair. “Fuck. I fucked up, Star. I’m sorry. I just…I can’t stop thinking about you and wondering if you’re okay.” He took a step toward me and shook his head. His hand fell to the side of my cheek, and those eyes I loved locked in on mine. “Are you okay?”
Those three words made the tears begin to fall. I shook my head in disbelief at what was happening. I wanted to tell him that I wasn’t okay. I wanted to pull him against me and cry into his shoulder. I wanted him to protect me from the world that was imploding around me. But I couldn’t.
I couldn’t hold him.
I couldn’t touch him.
I couldn’t love him.
What was worse about the whole situation was that I wasn’t the one who truly needed comfort at that moment; it was Milo. He was the one whose world had been set on fire. He was the one who was watching everything fall apart before him. He was the one who needed to be held. To be touched. To be loved.
My body trembled slightly as I stood tall. “I’m going to walk out of here, Milo, and you’ll wait a while to exit after me.”
He grabbed my arm, sending a wave of electricity through my body. “Star, please. Let me hold you for a second.”
I ripped my arm from his touch. “No. No. Don’t you see? This is wrong. It’s been wrong from the beginning, and I allowed it to spiral into this mess. This was a massive mistake, Mi.”
“You think we were a mistake?”
The pain in his voice broke my already shattered heart even more.
“No, of course not. That’s not what I mean.” He was so far from a mistake. He felt like the first thing ever since my mother passed away that felt right. Milo Corti felt like home to me. Yet that still didn’t make it right.
“Do you regret this?” he questioned.
I shook my head and placed a hand against his cheek. “I could never regret you. Even if I tried.” His face tilted slightly, and he kissed the palm of my hand, sending chills through me. I lowered my head. “I have to go meet with the principal.”
“I’ll come with you. We’ll face it as a team.”
“You can’t do that.”
“I can. It’s fine. He’s my uncle. He’ll understand. He’ll—”
“Milo.” I cut in and shook my head. “You can’t fight this battle for me. I have to be a grown-up and accept my fate. I’m sorry. I have to go.” Before he could reply, I slipped out of the closet and hurried away. I didn’t look back out of fear that he’d follow me. Or out of fear I’d crack and rush into his arms. Even though that was all I wanted.
***
My stomach sat in knots as I stood in Principal Gallo’s office. He instructed me to close the door behind me, and I did as he said. He gestured for me to take a seat, and I did that, too. My body trembled as he sat across from me, his desk being the only barrier that separated us.
My head stayed down as I fumbled with my fingers. My nerves were at an all-time high, and I still felt nauseous even though I hadn’t had a single thing to eat in over twenty-four hours.
He didn’t say anything for a while, making me feel like he was waiting for me to take the lead.
I couldn’t manage to look him in the eyes as I sat across from him. “Principal Gallo—”
“How did this start?” he cut in.
My head rose, and I met his stare. “Excuse me?”
He removed his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose. “The situation between you and my nephew. How did it begin?”
I swallowed hard, debating how truthful I should’ve been about the whole situation. Then I realized it truly didn’t matter. The truth was all I had, and no matter how I told it, it would still result in the same outcome. So I gave him every piece of the story. “We met at a college fraternity party before I began student-teaching here. We…” I paused, feeling a bit of embarrassment hit me. “We connected.”
“You slept with him,” he dryly stated.
I nodded. “Yes, sir.”
His brows knitted as he clasped his hands together. “And then you showed up and noticed that he was a student here?”
“Yes. Exactly.”
“And so you continued doing what you did at said party.”
“No,” I shook my head. “Not at all. For a long time, I set boundaries with him. It was strictly professional, and well, then, well, I, well, he, well…we…” I began stuttering over my words. Unable to untangle my jumbled thoughts. Before I could push out another syllable, the door to his office flung open, and Milo shot into the room, shutting the door behind him.
“It’s not her fault,” Milo barked at his uncle, rage shooting through his words. Or perhaps it wasn’t rage. Maybe it was fear of what would happen to me. I felt bad for that, too. For making Milo worry about me when his whole world was up in flames.
“Milo, you were not invited to this meeting,” Principal Gallo said. The vein in his neck was popping out, making me more and more nervous about the intensity of his emotions on the subject at hand.
“No, fuck that, West. Come on. You know this is bullshit,” Milo shouted. “She’s too good at what she does to be punished for—”
“For what?!” Principal Gallo whisper-shouted. “For screwing around with a student? With my nephew?! You can’t be serious right now, Milo. I have a job to do, and I need you to leave my office so I can handle this now.”
“She saved me,” Milo blurted out. His eyes glassed over with emotions as he stared at his uncle, leaving all of himself right there in that office. He was raw and real as he spoke. “I didn’t want to be here anymore,” he confessed. “I didn’t want to exist. I was dying, Weston, and she saved me. She saved my fucking life. So don’t do this to her. Don’t ruin her life because she chose to save mine.”
“Milo. Leave my office,” Principal Gallo ordered.
Milo stood tall. “No.”
“Milo. Leave. Now,” he repeated.
“No.”
“Mi—”
“I’ve lost everything,” he said as his voice cracked. “I’ve lost everything, West. I can’t do this, okay? Please. I can’t lose her, too.”
And just like that, my heart shattered into a million pieces for the one I loved.
I went to place a hand on Milo’s arm but stopped the moment I saw the principal’s stare follow mine. I didn’t touch him. I couldn’t touch him. “Milo, please go,” I whispered as my voice cracked. “Please. Everything will be okay.”
Milo’s eyes softened with confusion as he studied me. I was thankful for him trying to stand up for me at that moment, but I knew I had to stand on my own. Life was about choices. I’d made my bed, and now it was time for me to lie in it. I couldn’t have Milo trying to lie beside me in the mess I’d made.
He blinked a few times toward me before turning toward his uncle. “If you ruin her life, I’ll never forgive you.”
“It’s not his fault, Milo,” I swore. “It’s not his fault.”
I thought that was what pained Milo the most, because he knew it wasn’t his uncle’s fault. Milo and I made choices. We made decisions that we shouldn’t have made, and now we had to deal with the consequences of said decisions. There was no one to blame except for ourselves.
After he left the room, shutting the door behind him. Principal Gallo somewhat deflated in his chair as he pinched the bridge of his nose. “He shouldn’t have even been in here. This was supposed to be between you and me, Ms. Evans.”
“I know, but he came because he knew I’d be here,” I whispered, staring down at my shaky hands. “He came because of me.” The realization of that settled in for me as I sat in that chair across from the man who held my whole career future within his hands.
Principal Gallo stayed quiet for a moment. His eyes were heavy with emotions, and I couldn’t figure out what exactly he was thinking. I couldn’t figure out where his mind was going, and what he was about to say to me.
All I knew was that he, too, was going through the motions of grief, trying to figure out what the next proper steps were to take. He was drowning just as his nephew had been.
“I’m sorry,” I said to him, shaking my head slightly. “I’m sorry for all of this. I mean that from the bottom of my heart, Principal Gallo. I am sorry for it all.”
He cleared his throat, still not looking toward me. “Perhaps we should follow up with this conversation next week. Until then, please keep your distance from the school. I’ll be in touch once everything is handled. Also, please keep your distance from my nephew. He has enough going on in his life. Your involvement isn’t going to make anything easier for him. Trust me.”
I heard his words, but my heart didn’t want to listen. Because in the middle of Milo’s storm, he still showed up for me. What kind of monster would I be to not do the same for him?
“I won’t stop seeing him,” I confessed.
Principal Gallo raised an eyebrow. “Excuse me?”
“I know how this looks to you, Principal Gallo. I know how unprofessional it is, and how awful of a human being you think I am, but I am in love with your nephew, and all I can think about is how he doesn’t deserve to be alone. I’ll step down from finishing my teaching degree. I’ll pivot directions, seeing how I tainted my character, but I do not regret a second of what happened between Milo and me—”
“Starlet—”
“Wait, let me finish. I know you are here to tell me why this is wrong, and why I screwed up, and I want you to know that I see all of that. I get it, and I accept blame, but Milo means the world to me. He means more to me than anyone ever has before, and I cannot leave him. I cannot let him go. He’s the best part of my days. Even when he’s sad and broken, he’s still so good. And I want to be that for him, too. I want to be his good. So go ahead. Tell me how awful I am. Tell me what a shame of a human being I have showcased myself as…but please know that this thing between him and me is real. It’s the realest kind of love I’ve ever felt, and I’ll never apologize for that feeling.”
Principal Gallo’s brows lowered. “Are you done now, Starlet?”
I nodded. “Yes. I think that’s it.”
He removed his glasses and sat back in his chair. “Good. Now it’s my turn.” He stared at me with such an authoritative look. As his mouth parted, my fears of what words he’d create grew more and more. Then he said, “Stay.”
“I’m sorry, what?”
“Understand that this isn’t me as the principal of this school, this is me as an uncle. I’ve been with my wife for forty years. Longer than both you and Milo have been alive. Milo’s parents were together thirty-some years. My sister Ana and I both lived epic love stories with our soulmates. We’ve lived love stories that people would make movies about. I didn’t understand when I first saw you two together. Hell, I probably didn’t understand up until you said no to me. Maybe I still don’t understand, but I saw it, Starlet. I saw what you two have, so all that I ask from you is that you stay.
“My nephew is drowning, and I haven’t been able to figure out how to help him in over a year. Nothing seemed to work, and I was at my wits’ end. Then you showed up, and everything began to shift. He laughed more when he came to my office. He smiled more, too. I didn’t think that I’d ever see him do those things again. Now, I realize why he was able to do those things. It was because of you. You brought Milo back to life, Starlet. So please…stay with him. You’re saving his life.”
I took a deep breath and released it slowly. “I think he’s saving mine, too.”
“I hope you understand that I cannot allow you to keep teaching here. If anyone else received wind of you and Milo…”
I nodded. “I understand.”
“But I won’t report you. We’ll come up with a reason for your teaching semester to come to an end.”
“Thank you, Principal Gallo.”
“No. Thank you, Starlet.”
***
Later that night, I pulled up to Milo’s house with my duffel bag in my hand. I rang his doorbell as my heart skipped a million beats. My mind was spinning at a rapid speed as I waited for him to come to the door, yet the moment he did, the moment he opened the door and stood in front of me, everything slowed down.
I found my grounding.
I found my peace.
He leaned against the doorframe. His eyes were bloodshot, and he looked exhausted. “Hi.”
“Hi,” I whispered. I gave him a small smile. “Okay?”
He sniffled a bit and pushed out a smile and nodded. “Okay.”
I crashed into his arms, and he pulled me in tight, holding me as close as he could. I refused to let him go, too. I’d stay in his arms as long as he needed.
“Okay,” he repeated, resting his chin on the top of my head.
Okay.