Chapter 4
Chapter four
“I attended my first dinner party tonight, and I have decided I hate nothing more in this world. The expected conversation with your dining partner, dancing, or in my case longing to be asked to dance while dreading anyone asking me, and not having Aidan beside me. He hadn’t been invited because he’s Father’s ward, and not our equal.
The whole night, I’d wanted him beside me, and he hadn’t been there.
” – from the diary of Oren Byrne, age fifteen.
Istared at Miss Kiera Quirke and her mother Mrs. Quirke, trying to contain the urge to flee the ballroom and hide in the library. I never loved parties, especially ones my mother had successfully hidden from us by calling it a “small get-together,” but I’d had no intention of facing Miss Quirke.
Miss Quirke had been the woman my parents intended me to marry after I’d become Lord of Sídhetír. That had obviously ended with Aidan claiming the title that was rightfully his. Or at least, I’d thought it had—I’d hoped it had.
We were friends, and I’d always assumed she was like me, not wanting to marry. Perhaps I was wrong? If we didn’t marry, would I be disappointing her as well?
The pulsing stone of guilt throbbed in my stomach and made it churn.
“Mrs. Quirke. Miss Quirke,” I said in a forced tone.
“We’re here too,” Thomas joked as he tugged his spouse toward us.
Georgie grinned, the skin around their brown eyes crinkling in mirth. Their blonde hair was trapped in contrived ringlets on their head while their lean frame filled out the blue jacket they wore. The full skirt flared at their hips in gentle waves.
“Thomas. Georgie.” I greeted them, barely looking away from Miss Quirke.
She had a pleasant expression on her face, which was quite the norm for her.
Her light blue eyes flicked between me and Thomas and Georgie, never settling longer than was polite, but an almost nervous energy sparked in their depths.
When she caught my gaze, she discreetly nodded toward a secluded corner.
I ignored the look as well as the putrid sloshing of my gut.
Her round, cherubic face tightened, making her pert nose wrinkle in confusion.
Or perhaps it was disgust? Was she put off by my cowardice?
“Mr. Byrne,” Miss Quirke said in a pleasingly soft voice. She gently pushed back a brown ringlet behind her ear. “It’s lovely to see you again. It has been far too long. If I were the paranoid type, I would say you were avoiding me. I do sorely miss our talks.”
I winced. I hadn’t seen her, by design, since Aidan became lord.
She looked at Thomas and Georgie. “And it is most excellent to see you, Mr. and Mx. Byrne. I do not believe I’ve seen you since last summer when I was invited to picnic with all of your cousins.”
“Yes,” Georgie replied, loosely holding onto Thomas’s arm. “That was a fun day.”
Every summer, the entire Byrne family would come together, which meant cousins, uncles, and aunts as far as the eye could see. It was always a fun fortnight filled with games, food, and inevitable competition.
“You won the croquet game, if I recall,” Miss Quirke said.
“I did.” Georgie smirked. They were more competitive than anyone in the family. I loathed playing with them, but Nevan and Sevrin took it as a challenge to best Georgie, though they rarely did.
Miss Quirke glanced at me before nodding at the corner again, and my gaze skittered away. I spotted Aidan, and as graciously as possible, I extracted myself from the conversation and sidled up to him.
“Hiding?” he asked, taking a drink of punch.
“Yes.”
Aidan took a single step to the right, blocking me from view. “Why?”
“Did you know she was going to be here?”
“Of course not. I would have warned you.”
I leaned my head between his shoulder blades. Aidan was shielding me as he’d always done, but there would come a time when I’d have to stand on my own.
“You don’t have to marry her, Oren,” Aidan said. “Jonathan and Hester might try, but I will protect you. Though…”
“Yes?” I asked.
“Hester wants to see the rest of you wed. I imagine she snuck the invitation in beneath Cethin’s nose. He barely pays attention to these things.”
“And her pick is Miss Quirke,” I stated.
“Mrs. Quirke is her particular friend, and you, as well as I, have been friends with Miss Quirke our entire lives.”
We had been. I could easily recount the rides and walks we had been on.
Yes, Aidan had been following us to ensure nothing untoward happened, but he’d fallen into our friendship.
We had all played together as small children before either I or Kiera had understood what our mothers were scheming.
I did care for Miss Quirke, but that was where my affection ended.
He continued on, “She gets along with all your brothers. It’s not an unreasonable match.”
It wasn’t, but I didn’t want it. A face floated through my mind’s eye. Sharp cheekbones, purple eyes, gray skin with purple undertones, and shoulder-length black hair. Lord Abnus of the Night Court.
When I’d been the heir, Lord Abnus had been the representative from the Night Court, who presented the court’s offers for being granted access to the gate.
He’d never tried to trick me or force me to choose them, but rather, he’d listened.
There was a small nook in the library that we’d often sat in, drank tea, and talked, his arm propped on the arm of the wingback chair as his eyes never deviated from my face.
The look had been enough to send my heart into my throat.
Even I was incredulous about how much I missed him, but it didn’t alter the feelings of longing in my heart to see Lord Abnus again.
Gathering my courage, I stepped out from behind Aidan.
I had to stand on my own two feet. Lord Abnus wasn’t a possibility.
I had to release my unrequited affections, which was easier said than done.
Visions of him haunted my dreams and even my waking hours.
My romantic heart demanded Lord Abnus was special, but he didn’t feel as I wished him to.
Dark fae instinctively knew who their mates were at first sight. Cethin had known the instant he saw Aidan and had claimed him, marking him with a tattoo.
Lord Abnus hadn’t done that with me.
I wasn’t his mate.
There was a chance Lord Abnus was uninterested in finding his fated mate. That was possible, wasn’t it? Not every noble dark fae had to want to find their soul mate, right? But even if he didn’t, that didn’t mean he possessed a tenderness toward me.
Aidan hooked his arm through mine, and I smiled for the support. We headed back toward the group, and Mrs. Quirke cornered us instantly.
“Lord Byrne, Mr. Byrne.” Mrs. Quirke was a woman of stout stature with broad shoulders and a ramrod straight back that spoke of her uncompromising personality.
Even her hair, in its strict bun, wouldn’t dare defy her.
Her dark green dress, perfectly in line with the fashion of a matron of her standing, wasn’t marred with even the slightest wrinkle.
It was as if the universe arranged itself in order around this woman, and she certainly acted like it.
“Mrs. Quirke,” Aidan said, “it must be called a pleasure that you can join us tonight.”
“The pleasure is all mine. We’d expected an invitation earlier for another matter,” she said in an obvious hint and added a wink in case it wasn’t enough.
I didn’t dislike Mrs. Quirke, but nor did I care for her.
She wasn’t rude or mean-spirited, but she was opinionated in the worst way.
If you didn’t agree with her, she would attempt, by all means of persuasion, to convince you of her way of thinking.
And her way of thinking was that I should marry her daughter.
“Had you?” Aidan asked, keeping a steady hand on me. “I can hardly force myself to think of why.”
“Indeed.” Mrs. Quirke said to me, “You have not visited us, Mr. Byrne.”
“It has been quite busy of late,” I replied weakly. I cast about for a distraction and found a convenient one in Nevan. “Oh dear, Mrs. Quirke, you have often espoused the opinion of too much cake being quite bad for one’s health, and I believe Nevan has taken a third piece.”
She whipped toward my older brother, who was indeed eating a piece of cake. Whether it was his third piece, I knew not.
Mrs. Quirke gave a short nod and walked across the room with the stature of one entering a battle they knew they’d win.
“Clever,” Aidan remarked. “Cruel, but quite clever.”
I smiled, and Aidan gave me a returning one.
During dinner, I was seated between Aidan and Phineas, which I knew hadn’t been the original seating plan because Mother frowned fiercely for all of one moment before she collected herself. Miss Quirke tried to catch my eye, but I studiously ignored her in favor of the meal.
When dinner turned into dancing, Cethin claimed Aidan’s hand, scowling at everyone, and I fought an eyeroll.
Cethin never allowed anyone besides family to dance with Aidan.
I tucked myself behind a rather large potted plant, glad Sevrin had asked Miss Quirke to dance before she could come to me, but the look she’d shot my way definitely had me cringing.
Once the light music started, Phineas playing the jig, I crept out of the ballroom and went straight to the library, hiding in my favorite corner.
I sat in my usual wingback chair, and my eyes focused on the one next to me. It was empty, but I wished it wasn’t. I wished Lord Abnus was right there beside me, his eyes on me, expression blank but not uncaring, and a steaming teacup in his hand.
Perhaps when I was at Wellington, the ghost of Lord Abnus would no longer haunt me.