Chapter 5 #2
The parlor was filled with all of my family, except Aidan, and it felt lonely without him, though also familiar.
How many family gatherings like this had I missed when Father had pulled me away for lessons or made me review the accounts or the decisions he’d made?
I honestly didn’t know; all I knew was Aidan was missing this moment, and it wasn’t right.
“We should send for Aidan,” I commented.
Father glanced up from the book he was reading, Mother right by his side embroidering, and said, “Aidan is busy, Oren. I know you’re unaccustomed to him not being available to you at every whim, but he has responsibilities now.”
“I know.” It wasn’t that I wanted him, though I did—it was more that I feared Aidan would become isolated from us, and I didn’t want that.
Mother rested a hand on Father’s arm, and he cast her a soft smile—one I’d never seen him give her before. She said, “Aidan will come find us when he has a moment. Besides, with Cethin away, I imagine his mood is quite foul. Best to leave him be.”
I glanced at Thomas, deflating from my parents’ words. As the eldest, he often spoke for all of us and acted as if caring for us was his sole reason for existence. He wore the same frown that was on my face. Thomas, in turn, glanced at Whit, who returned the look.
“Perhaps we should ask him to go for a ride later?” Whit offered before raking his hand over his brown beard.
“I would like that,” Sevrin said, sitting up straighter. “I would love to get a better look at Eibhlin.”
Phineas chuckled before taking a sip of tea. “I don’t believe she’ll like you any better.”
“She won’t,” Nevan said, piping up. He’d obviously heard about the incident in the stable. Unsurprising, as we almost always shared everything with each other.
A face, a human one with deep blue eyes and a wicked grin, floated before my mind’s eye. Well, not everything. I hadn’t shared James, ashamed of what my brothers would think. Not even Aidan knew.
There was a time we would’ve never kept secrets from each other, but that, like everything else, had changed in the last three months.
I rolled over in my bed to stare at the flames.
Aidan had been unable to get away for a ride; he’d had a meeting with the local magistrate on some matter that he hadn’t shared with any of us except Father.
In fact, Aidan hadn’t show his face for the rest of the day, which worried me.
Yes, caring for Sídhetír was important, but so was caring for himself.
If Cethin had been here, he would’ve never allowed Aidan to work the whole of the day or spend it away from us.
Hopefully, he would return tomorrow.
Thoughts of Cethin led me to thoughts of the dark fae I tried my best not to think on too often.
Lord Abnus. His perfect purple eyes haunted me.
I missed him, which was utterly ridiculous, even to my own romantic heart.
I barely knew Lord Abnus, all things considered.
Yes, we’d spent a solid amount of time together when he’d been the representative and I’d been the heir, but he hadn’t spoken much of himself or his interests.
Also, he’d left shortly after Aidan took the mantle.
At the wedding, he’d been polite and the same as always: talking to me, taking tea with me, focusing on me.
But he’d hadn’t exhibited any signs of attraction or that he’d been suffering my in absence, not as I had been without him.
I’d wanted him to ask permission to court me or admit he had romantic intentions toward me—he hadn’t.
After the wedding, he’d left again, not returning.
That was when James had happened.
My eyes closed as another stone of guilt landed in my already-uncomfortable stomach.
James. I’d met him the week after Aidan and Cethin’s wedding, while they were still ensconced in the cottage in the woods, away from all of us.
James had been kind and caring, and he’d looked so similar to Lord Abnus, with black hair, sharp features, and a tall, lanky stature, though James’s eyes had been blue to Abnus’s purple.
He’d also been human; there had been no getting away from that.
However, I’d flirted with him. Me. God, I’d been a sight, but James had found it adorable, or so he’d said.
One week, we spent with each other. I’d snuck out at odd times, everything had been a disorganized mess, and no one had been looking for me.
We’d fucked several times, but each time, I’d imagined it was Lord Abnus.
Once I’d even called for Lord Abnus while James was fucking me from behind.
I’d thought James would’ve been upset, but he hadn’t cared. We’d been convenient bedfellows, nothing more. When James left, I hadn’t cared much. I liked James. He was funny, sweet, and caring, but he wasn’t Lord Abnus. We’d parted as friends, or well, secret acquaintances more accurately.
I hadn’t told Aidan about James, and I didn’t know if I would or not.
I’d slept with James for the wrong reasons, and shame continued to coil in my gut about it.
I’d only wanted James as a way to capture some fragment of Lord Abnus, even a fake one.
Never had I desired a man or woman as I desired the elusive fae.
He’d captured my body and soul so completely I wasn’t sure I’d ever be free of him.
A low moan stole out of my lips at the thought of Lord Abnus, and my cock sparked to life.
Rolling over once again, I snagged the tin Iris had given me and pulled my night shirt up to expose my hardening cock.
I scooped up a generous amount and slicked it over my shaft, biting my lip to keep from groaning.
My cock stiffened the rest of the way. Gripping the base, I pumped upward and cried out.
Clamping my jaw closed, I shuttled my hand over my aching cock. Lord Abnus’s serious face appeared in my mind’s eye as his rumbly voice told me how much he cared about me; that he felt as I did; that he’d always wanted me; that I was indeed his soul mate.
I got more lubrication on my other hand, spreading my thighs, and circled my hole with a single finger. My teeth dug painfully into my bottom lip as I tried to contain the moans that threatened to escape from the shocks of lightning going up my spine.
I pushed the slick digit into the tight pucker of my ass while I continued to pump my cock, pre-cum leaking from my slit.
A second finger, quickly followed by a third, filled my ass as I imagined Lord Abnus hovering over me, pounding into my hole and whispering dark words about how I felt around him in my ear.
Whimpering, I picked up speed. My lower back tightened, and my cock grew impossibly hard as my orgasm began to sweep over me.
When I finally fell over the edge, I came with a stifled cry, calling for Abnus as my fingers never slowed.
Burning hot pleasure filled me as I trembled and shook, ropes of cum splattering my stomach.
I panted, sliding my fingers out with a hiss. The warm glow of release filled me, but it was empty. I wanted Lord Abnus to be here with me. Also, I felt slightly guilty for coming to thoughts of him when he’d never even hinted at an attraction to me.
I rolled over, looking at the fire glowing in the darkness of my bedroom.
All warmth from my release had faded, and the chill that not even the flames could warm had returned.
Quickly, I cleaned my hands and stomach up, then yanked the thick covers over my head and tried to bury all thought in the depths of my mind.