Chapter 13
Chapter thirteen
“I have decided I hate conversation. Mother has been attempting to educate me on proper small talk, and it’s quite boring.
I would rather speak truthfully, rather than worry about making pleasantries.
Though, I must confess, I can only seem to comfortably speak in front of my brothers and Aidan.
” – from the diary of Oren Byrne, age fifteen.
It took me one quick look to ascertain that Nevan and Neil hadn’t waited for me. Apparently they considered Lord Abnus enough protection. I hardly wanted to pound on Mr. Kelly’s door and demand to be let in, so I gestured to the stone bench in Mr. Kelly’s garden.
“If you would open the gate for me, Mr. Byrne?” Lord Abnus asked.
I frowned for the barest moment until I recalled that iron burned fae. Lord Abnus couldn’t touch the wrought-iron gate. I opened it and waved him through.
“Thank you,” he said.
His warm gaze sent a shiver down my spine and a flush to my cheeks.
I followed him into the garden, our feet crunching on the hard snow, and to the stone bench.
The bench had been cleared, allowing us to sit with ease.
It was chilly, no doubt turning my nose a rather unattractive red, but it wasn’t cold enough to drive me inside and away from Lord Abnus’s side.
I shifted on the cold stone, and my thigh brushed his. I stilled at the contact, a zing of awareness shooting through me. I peeked at Lord Abnus, and he was utterly motionless, his hand fisted in his lap. I wanted to take one of his gloved hands within mine, but I held off.
“It was kind of you to come with us on this visit,” I said to break the strained silence that had formed between us.
“I told Lord Byrne I would keep you all safe while he was gone.”
“Is that the only reason?”
He glanced at me; a slight smile played on his lips. “No.”
Warmth suffused my stomach. Sweet Lord, I hoped I was one of the reasons he’d come.
“You are engaged to Miss Quirke,” Lord Abnus said, his eyes facing the frosted window across from the bench. The frost turned to ice and coated the entire thing, spreading and growing to spread over the side of the house.
“No. I am not.”
“I believe you’re lying to me.”
“Just because I’m human, rather than fae, doesn’t mean I’m lying, Lord Abnus.”
He glanced at me.
“I’m not engaged to Miss Quirke. Yes, when I was the Heir of Sídhetír, Miss Quirke was the leading candidate of whom I was to marry. But no offer of engagement was extended, and nor do I intend to ask her. I do like Kiera,” I said.
Lord Abnus frowned, his features harshening as if his glamour was slipping, which made the corner of my lips quirk.
“I do care about her, but I don’t want to marry her. I never have. She was merely a convenient option and a most proper choice.”
“Then why is her mother under the illusion of your coming nuptials?”
I chuckled. “Because Mrs. Quirke is unable to let go of an idea once she has latched hold.”
“I see,” he remarked.
I stared at him, but he continued to watch the ice grow along the side of the house. “Perhaps,” I started, “it’s for the best.”
“How so?”
“I’m going to university in the spring, and I might be away for some time.”
A tremor went through Lord Abnus, so subtle that I questioned my own eyes. He asked, “So you are going?”
“Yes.” I pulled my hat off to run a hand through my hair before shoving it back on. “I’m terrified.”
“Then why go?”
“Because I want to. I’m afraid because this is something so wholly new. I’ve never left Sídhetír before. It would be odd if I wasn’t nervous. But,” I said, “this has been my dream since I was young. I want this, even if I don’t want to leave.”
“But you want it?”
“Desperately. I’m so happy Aidan is allowing me to go.”
Lord Abnus finally looked at me. “Why wouldn’t he?”
“Well the cost alone might’ve deterred him, but he could’ve needed my…
” I broke off. Aidan didn’t need my help.
I would offer it if he desired, but becoming lord had been easy for Aidan.
He didn’t struggle or ever seem to question his ability, and, while I didn’t want to be, I was supremely jealous of his ease.
I had trained my whole life to be lord and had stumbled the entire time.
Aidan had stepped into the mantle as if he’d been born for it, which he had.
My eyes closed as the fetid darkness grew, spreading through my veins. I was jealous. I was angry. This was poisonous, and yet…
“A ghrá?” Abnus asked, startling me. “Why did you stop speaking?”
“A ghrá? What does that mean?”
“Do you dislike it?”
“No.” I might not know what it meant, but I didn’t mind, not in the slightest.
“Then tell me what you were saying.”
“Aidan might’ve kept me from attending university because he needed my help, but he doesn’t.”
“Why do you say that?”
“He never asks me for anything or talks to me anymore.” I shook my head.
“Since he found out he was the true heir, we haven’t really talked.
” It wasn’t Aidan alone. I had kept things from him as well.
James and our dalliance at the foremost. It felt as if a wall had sprung up between Aidan and I, and I wasn’t sure why or how to surmount it.
Lord Abnus grabbed my hand, and my breath shuddered. Our fingers intertwined without my permission. He pulled our joined hands into his lap. “While Lord Byrne is undoubtedly busy, he shouldn’t make you feel less than. You are everything, Mr. Byrne.”
I flushed, pleased, and yet I felt the need to defend Aidan. “He’s busy, and I could also speak to him.”
“Why don’t you?”
I had no response. Why didn’t I? Aidan and I had shared everything previously. Never had I struggled to confide in him, but now, I couldn’t talk to him about anything.
“I don’t know,” I answered. I truly didn’t.
“Hmm.” Lord Abnus didn’t say anything more but continued to hold my hand.
My thoughts whirled around Aidan and I. What was wrong between us, and how did we fix it?
It had to be fixed. I couldn’t go to school with this tension between us.
I needed to know my brother was behind me, even if he wasn’t shielding me anymore.
I wanted his support, and logically, I knew I had it, but emotionally, I didn’t feel it.
I almost scoffed. Emotionally? I was often told my romantic notions were too much, but I couldn’t help my soft heart.
“Four years,” Lord Abnus randomly said. “That will be fine.”
My eyebrows came together as I looked at him. “What will be fine?”
“Everything, Mr. Byrne.” He gave me the barest smile. “I am very patient.”
I stared at him. What in the world was he talking about?
The front door opened, and a portly man with graying blonde hair in spotless clothes—Mr. Kelly—showed Nevan and Neil out. I stood and moved toward them with Lord Abnus directly behind me.
Nevan raised his hand in greeting. “There you two are. We saw you quite captured by Mrs. Quirke and took our chance to flee.”
“Thank you for that,” I replied, coming to their side.
“It seemed you had it well in hand,” Nevan said.
I wouldn’t have said that. Did anyone ever have Mrs. Quirke well in hand? I doubted it.
Neil cast a glance at me, then Lord Abnus before asking, “Was the conversation stimulating?”
“Not really,” I replied.
Lord Abnus frowned, hands curling into fists before relaxing.
Looking directly at Lord Abnus, Neil asked, “Did she say something to upset you? Something perhaps about Miss Quirke?”
“Everything is fine,” I said when it became apparent that Lord Abnus wasn’t going to.
“I’m sure it is,” Neil said.
Nevan groaned. “This is boring. After the great success we had with Mr. Kelly, we should go to the market and see if there is anything worth spending our newfound fortune on.”
“The fortune is not yet ours, but yes. We did say we would meet Georgie there, and it has been nearly an hour,” Neil replied, glancing at his pocket watch.
Lord Abnus held out his arm for me, and I eagerly took it, resting my hand on his muscular forearm.
Nevan and Neil walked in front of us, leading their horses.
Any time I moved my fingers, the muscles of Lord Abnus’s arm would tense beneath me.
Testing the reaction, I gently dragged my fingers over his sleeve, and he clenched his hand while taking a sharp inhale.
A sort of delighted arrogance bloomed within me. I, not anyone else, was causing this reaction in the dark fae, and he wasn’t as unaffected by my presence as he seemed.
“There you lot are,” Georgie called out, heading in our direction. They swung off their horse with ease. “I thought I’d been abandoned.”
“Of course not,” Nevan said, extending his arm. “We would never leave you. Thomas would never let us hear the end of it.”
They shoved Nevan and held out their arm to Neil, who accepted the proffered appendage. Rolling my eyes at the trio that lobbed insults back and forth, I continued toward the market with Lord Abnus steadily walking by my side.