Chapter 22
Chapter twenty-two
“The library is my solace when the pressures are too much or my thoughts are too loud, and that is often. Everything I am meant to be is too much.” – from the diary of Oren Byrne, age thirteen.
Isnuggled into the bed, pillows around me. I was taking a lazy day, and it was selfish, but hearing Mrs. Hillridge sob had torn apart something fragile inside of me. I’d claimed to have caught a chill, and my valet had passed the lie, along with my desire to be alone, to my family.
Reading was my plan. While I would remain abed, I did plan to be useful.
The dry book on magic was old, but it did contain passages on necromancy. There was no way this grimoire was from Rhett’s time. However, it was at least a century if not more in age. The section about necromancy was slim, basically nothing, but it was more information than I’d possessed previously.
It didn’t describe how to actually bring something back to life, but it did extoll how evil the practice was.
Necromancy rotted the practitioner to their core.
How, exactly, I wasn’t sure. I was hoping as I read further that it would at least detail how to find a necromancer or the signs to search for.
Before I could flip the page, my door burst open and Abnus loomed in the doorway. He was breathing heavily as his purple eyes traced my face. He stepped forward, and the door slammed closed without him touching it, but the handle was covered in a film of ice.
“You are sick, Oren. Why did you not summon me?” He was at my side before I had a chance to answer and started to gather me into his arms. “I shall take you to the fae realm and seek a healer. Do not worry.”
“Abnus,” I said, palming his cheeks. “I am well.”
“Your servant said you were ill.”
I sighed. “Put me down.”
“No. I must take you to a skilled healer.”
“I’m not sick,” I repeated, my heart pounding. His worry shouldn’t make my pulse race or set me ablaze, but it did. He cared. He’d said as much, but actions felt so much stronger than words, even a fae’s word. “It was a lie.”
Abnus lowered me to the bed. “Why?”
“I wanted a day to myself after what happened. My family probably knows it was a lie, or else one of my brothers would be here with me.”
He released a long breath, head falling until it rested against mine. “Next time inform me of this lie beforehand. I will always think the worst if your health is in question.”
“I’m sorry.” I arched up to kiss his jaw. “I didn’t mean to frighten you.”
He ran his nose over my hair, breathing deeply, and pulled away. “You wished to be alone, so I shall leave you.”
“I didn’t mean you. You are… different.”
“May I?” he asked, gesturing to the bed.
I nodded. I moved my breakfast tray. I hadn’t eaten either, and there was more than enough for Abnus and I to share if he hadn’t eaten yet.
He removed his jacket, tossing it over the chair in the corner.
His cravat was next. Then he unbuttoned his sleeves and rolled them, allowing me, for the first time, to see his grayish-purple forearms decorated with tattoos.
The swirls of thorny black vines circled his muscular arms and disappeared beneath his black shirt. Red poppies grew along the vines. The flowers moved in an invisible wind that sent drifts of glittery snow across his skin.
My mouth fell open as I looked up at him, and his purple eyes seemed to glow with an internal fire. I knew that fae could alter their appearance with a glamour, so he didn’t have to allow me to see his mark. They were private, from what I understood.
For some reason, Abnus was allowing me to see his mark, and I was unsure why, but it made me feel… dare I say, loved.
He lifted the blanket and settled beside me.
The chill emanating from him wasn’t enough to deter me from pressing against his side as he draped an arm over my shoulders.
His long fingers slid through my hair. His lips found the side of my head, pressing gently, before he whispered, “Never scare me again.”
“I shall endeavor not to.”
“And that shall have to be enough.” His lips found my skin once more, and I smiled.
I pulled the breakfast tray closer. “Are you hungry? There is plenty for us both.”
Abnus kissed me once more. “I will eat with you.”
That wasn’t a yes, but I refused to delve into his words for hidden meaning. If he didn’t want to, I’d have to trust that Abnus would simply tell me no.
As I slathered some marmalade on a slice of bread, I paused, glancing at the door. If any of my brothers or either of my parents entered, we were in a rather precarious position. I already had Cethin on my ass about taking responsibility for Abnus. I didn’t need to add to it.
When I lifted the blanket, Abnus held out a hand. “What's the matter?”
“I need to slide the bolt.”
A slight quirk tugged at the corner of his mouth before he lazily waved a hand. The bolt clunked closed with a sheen of ice over it.
“That is quite an impressive trick,” I commented.
“It does prove useful.”
“I’ll bet it does.” Growing up, it would’ve been useful to keep nosey brothers from my room with a flick of my wrist when I heard them coming.
“It is convenient to not leave the bed to ensure a most desired privacy,” he whispered before placing a lingering kiss on my temple.
A sharp needle stabbed my fragile heart. I knew I wasn’t Abnus’s first, not even close, but the thought of him lying in bed with another, flicking the bolt the exact same way, hurt. I tried to keep a smile on my face and put more marmalade on my toast.
Abnus cupped my cheek and turned me toward him. “I hurt you.”
“I’m fine.”
He nipped my nose, making it sting. “Lie.”
“Yes, you hurt me.” I pulled out of his touch and took a large bite.
“I apologize for your pain, but the past cannot be unwritten, nor will I apologize for what I did years before you even existed.”
I grabbed the hand that hung over my shoulder to interlace our fingers. “I would never ask that of you. Not ever.”
Abnus dragged his nose over my temple.
“I also have a past. Not as prolific as yours, I’m sure, but I won’t apologize for it either.”
His fingers tightened around mine. “You were with someone.”
It was a statement, but I still felt compelled to answer him. “Yes, after Cethin and Aidan’s wedding.”
Kissing the side of my head again, he whispered, “You owe me no explanation, but I will listen if you wish to tell me.”
I shook my head.
“Then I shall not worry about it.”
“Good, for you have nothing to worry about,” I said with complete honesty, because he didn’t.
That small smile appeared again before it vanished into the bland mask he usually wore.
Neither of us spoke as we cleaned the tray of food. When it was empty, I set the tray in the hall and snuggled back into Abnus’s waiting arms. He drew me onto his lap, then snagged the book I’d been reading.
“Another one, Oren?”
“I haven’t finished the first journal yet, but I wanted to read something else for a bit.”
Reading Rhett’s journal was slightly invasive. Also watching the transformation of Rhett as a young man to an adult who feared for his people was far harder than I thought it would be. As was reading of his sister—the necromancer. Her existence made the blood pumping through my veins feel tainted.
Abnus opened the book. “Let’s read together.”
Yes, I had told myself to keep a distance from him in an effort to shield what was left of my fragile heart, but I couldn’t. I craved Abnus too much. I tucked my head against his shoulder and began to read.
Even Abnus’s presence couldn’t lighten up the dry text.
It was dull. If this was magic, I praised the Lord above that I’d never been blessed with it.
After my back started to hurt, we moved to the chair and I summoned tea.
Thankfully, Abnus was able to hear before my valet arrived, though the two cups placed on the tray made Abnus’s hiding superfluous.
John, who’d served since I’d needed a valet, didn’t say anything, but the older man smiled.
The skin crinkled around his soft blue eyes.
When Abnus slipped back into my room, he merely settled me on his lap, and we drank tea and read more.
The day passed with us moving from the bed to the chair and back again. John delivered my meals, with more than enough to share.
The hour started to grow late, and still Abnus didn’t depart, nor did I ask him to. I wanted him to remain with me. My eyes were heavy as I stared at the small text. Abnus gave a breathy laugh, and I started.
“What?” I asked.
“You are falling asleep.”
“No, no, I’m not,” I protested, blinking furiously.
“Yes,” he said, kissing the top of my head. “You are.”
I sighed. He was right. But if I went to sleep, Abnus would leave me, and I didn’t want him to.
Tucking a ribbon between the pages, I closed the book and put it aside.
Before Abnus could move, I straddled him, my arms going about his neck.
His hands settled on my hips. I wiggled, rocking on him to project my intention, and the knot in Abnus’s throat bobbed, making me grin.
Said smile widened as something hard began to press against me.
“A ghrá, are you sure you are well?” Abnus asked.
My lips trailed over his cold cheek. “Yes. I want to taste you. You said next time.” I kissed his neck, finding his apple and sucking gently on the skin. “Please.”
His breathing was growing harder and harder the longer I sucked and licked his skin.
I kept rocking in a steady rhythm, and his grip tightened, grinding me down onto him.
Abnus closed his eyes, and I thought he was about to refuse me, but suddenly, I was on my back and he was hovering over me, his black hair tickling my cheeks.
Abnus rucked up my nightshirt and stripped it off, flinging it to the ground. Panting, he kissed down my neck to my chest. “Oren. How I desire you. How I need you.”