Chapter 23
Chapter twenty-three
“People often say the dark is dangerous, but I haven’t found it so. It’s at the darkest moments that you find out who you truly are. The darkness can illuminate far more than the light, if you’re brave enough to look.” – from the diary of Oren Byrne, age twenty.
Iran my fingers over the thorny vines on Abnus’s chest. The moonlight came through the window and made his skin glow.
A non-existent wind rushed over his tattoos, and sparkling snowflakes skittered across him.
I traced one of the blood-red blooms with a fingertip before kissing it and dragging my tongue over the mark.
Abnus took a deep inhale, and I grinned. He wasn’t loud in his pleasure, but he still showed me what he liked. I kissed him again and looked up at him. His long fingers cupped my hip, playing with the delicate skin there.
“When did you receive your tattoo?” I asked.
“Like all noble fae, both light and dark, we go through the trials when we reach adulthood at twenty-one.”
“Trials?”
“That is private, and something I cannot share.”
I kissed his chest again. “I apologize for asking.”
“Do not. I don’t need or want it. You may ask whatever you wish, and I will answer whatever I can. I wish to hide nothing but what I must from you,” Abnus said.
Of course I wanted to know whatever he couldn’t share with me, but I wasn’t presumptuous enough to ask. Abnus was being very honest with me, and I shouldn’t take that for granted.
“May I ask you a question?” Abnus asked.
“Certainly.”
His fingers continued in their journey up and down my arm. He fell silent, and I was unsurprised. Sometimes Abnus did this, and I simply waited for him to speak again. When he began again, his hand tightened around my arm. “Will your parents make you wed Miss Quirke before you go to school?”
We had discussed this, but much like his jealousy, apparently, he’d continued to worry. I said, “I do not believe so.”
“But you are not certain?”
“No. In truth, I don’t know. I don’t wish to marry her, and she doesn’t want to wed me, but our parents wish us to.
” That might have changed since Mother had seen Abnus and I together.
I kissed his shoulder. “Aidan will fight for me, as the rest of my brothers will, though I truly don’t wish to be someone who needs others to protect him. I wish to stand in my own power.”
“You do, Oren. I have always thought you to be strong.”
A pleased blush rushed to my cheeks.
“You are very strong,” he said, his fingers trailing over my skin. “But there is no shame in asking for help when you need it.”
That was something we would have to disagree on. I’d asked for too much from each of my brothers, and for once, I wanted them to rely on me.
“Will you ever wed?” I asked, not looking at him as I traced his tattoo. The vines shivered and shifted closer to my touch, allowing me to reach more of them.
“I will only wed my fated mate.”
My eyes closed. I’d suspected that, and yet, it gutted me to hear the words from his lips. I needed to accept the present as the gift it was, but I wished for more. My damn romantic heart always wished for more.
Abnus buried his fingers in my hair, massaging my scalp, and I groaned. He kissed the top of my head, and I was sure it was because he guessed at my pain. I angled my face toward him and smiled. Abnus didn’t return it, and I was unsurprised, but he held my cheek, eyes never leaving me.
“Don’t leave me, a ghrá. Please.” His voice had turned thin, like he was truly afraid.
“Never.” I burrowed closer, keeping him securely against me. I would never leave him, but I didn’t want him to leave me. I had to learn how to accept the now and not wish for impossible things. Damn my romantic heart to hell.
“I’m tired,” I said.
“Should I leave you?”
“No,” I snapped instantly, then smoothed a hand over his chest. “No. I want you to stay here. Tell me a story or something.” I no longer wished to discuss his fated mate or the possibility of Abnus marrying anyone; because whoever that person was, it wouldn’t be me.
“We have our own stories of death in mortal form, almost like your necromancers,” Abnus said, cupping the back of my head. “Death who roams the land without night or day.”
“Truly?”
“Fae have queens, but he is called the King of the Seam and he is death and life. He is both.”
I settled in and listened to the deep rumble of his voice as he spoke.
“He was born before the two fae realms crashed together, long before. It was said a day princess and a night prince had an affair. It wasn’t love, but merely lust. Such a liaison bore fruit.”
“She got pregnant?” I asked.
“Indeed. She bore a son who was blessed of day and night. Where he walks death follows, and in its wake, life blooms.”
“Was he despised?”
“Certainly not. Both courts adored him, for he possessed both of our strongest magics. But his life was evidence that we should never intermingle. When the seam came into being and the lands crashed together, he was caught in the middle, trying to hold off the clash of magic.”
I’d never been to the fae realms, but I knew day and night existed as one connected by a stretch of land cursed in permanent twilight that was a scar through the center. “Caught?” I asked.
“He was trapped between the crashing lands, night and day in one place. He wanders the seam. Death he is and death he always will be, but so is he life and he always will be.”
“He’s alone.”
“Yes.”
“He’s still alive?” I asked.
“Yes. He cannot die.”
“Like noble fae? He doesn’t age?”
Abnus lifted my face until my eyes met his. “No. He cannot die. Nothing can kill him. He is death, but he is also life. Cursed to be both by his heritage and the crashing of the magics when the seam was forged. The one true immortal. Forever alone.”
“That’s sad.”
He caressed my cheek. “Many of our stories are.”
I climbed on top of him to kiss his chin. “But ours isn’t.”
“No, Oren. Ours is not. It has never been and never shall be.”
Smiling, I lay on him. “Stay with me tonight.”
“I shall remain until you fall asleep.”
“Not all night?”
“No, I will not risk your reputation or your parents’ wrath, at least not yet.”
I breathed a chuckle. Kissing his neck, I didn’t say anything and allowed Abnus to protect me as he saw fit.