Chapter 29
Chapter twenty-nine
“I find pain and sex make a wonderful combination. My heart hurts constantly with missing Abnus, but when James fucks me, I feel as if the pain truly doesn’t matter.” – from the diary of Oren Byrne, age twenty-one.
As I lay in bed, I stared at the ceiling. Mrs. Sarah Kelly was dead. It felt odd to say I mourned her when I wasn’t her family or anyone important to her. I was her employer’s son—well, actually, her employer’s brother.
While I might not have the societal right to mourn her, I did. Mrs. Kelly had been a constant presence at Byrne Manor. She’d been working here since before Father became the lord. Her tuts about clean floors and her scolding us were so frequent that even now I could hear them ringing in my mind.
I closed my eyes as my mind took me to a place oh so long ago.
I’d been a child of eight or nine, and it had been summer, when all of the Byrne cousins, uncles, and aunts returned for a fortnight.
Even then, Father had insisted that I continued with my usual lessons.
I had, of course, not wanted to. I wanted to be out playing, but that wasn’t a possibility.
Laughter and cheers had sounded from beyond the pane of glass that separated me from my brothers. I’d been able to see them from my seat, but my stuffy tutor had kept rapping my knuckles and scolding me about my lack of attention.
Like an angel, Mrs. Kelly had descended on the school room and demanded Mr. Brown settle an academic dispute she was having with the butler.
He’d sighed something fierce, as if the entire world rested on his skinny shoulders, but still he’d left.
Before Mrs. Kelly had closed the door, she’d winked at me.
Not two seconds later, Aidan had burst in and stole me away.
Tears dripped out of the corner of my eyes, and I scrubbed them away. Yes, Mrs. Kelly hadn’t been part of my family, but she’d indeed been someone important to me, and she should’ve been safe here.
Her death wasn’t right. It should’ve never happened.
A knock rang through the silence room, and my heart leaped into my throat—I knew who it was.
“Come in,” I called out in a raspy voice, leaning up on the bed to see the doorway.
Abnus strode inside, and I simply opened my arms. He came to the bed and slipped on top of me, pressing a kiss to my cheek.
I groaned and tilted my head to the side.
His lips trailed over my jaw and down my neck.
When he reached the collar of my nightshirt, he pulled it down, biting my collarbone, and I moaned.
“A ghrá, are you well?”
I shook my head and more tears escaped.
“Oh, my Oren.”
I wanted to force the tears away, but I couldn’t, and nor did I think Abnus would want me to. My tears didn’t upset him.
He gently brushed them away with the pads of his thumbs as he cupped my cheeks. More tears slipped down, and he did it again and again before sitting up and drawing me onto his lap. I wrapped my arms around his neck and let my grief pour out as Abnus rocked me, not saying anything.
Articulating the grief inside of me was impossible, as was the shame for my tears and my sadness, as if I didn’t deserve to mourn the woman I’d known my whole life, because she wasn’t part of my family or because other people, namely her son, were hurting so far greater than I.
Thankfully, Abnus didn’t require me to say anything. He just held me softly and ran his long fingers through my hair. He let me be, let me exist with these jumbled, confusing emotions, and I’d never been more grateful to him.
When my tears subsided, Abnus set me slightly away from him to take my face in his palms once more.
“My dearest Oren, what can I do?”
“Make me forget.”
“That is not a power I possess.”
I closed my eyes as a ghost of a smile tugged on my lips. “But you do, Abnus.”
He didn’t respond, so I gave him a hint by rolling my hips. The sharp inhale of his breath and the hardening of his desire made it obvious that he understood what I wanted.
“For a little while, make me not think about anything besides you,” I begged.
Abnus didn’t say anything, but then again he didn’t have to. His lips found the line of my jaw as he nibbled on the skin. When he reached my ear, he drew the lobe into his mouth and sucked on it. Releasing me, he asked, “Hard or soft?”
“Hard. Make me hurt.” I wanted to feel Abnus and only him, not this grief, not my worry, not my fear, not my anger—nothing. Only he could remain.
Without warning, Abnus ripped the nightshirt off me and forced me onto my back, his solid weight pressing me into the mattress. I kept my hands above my head as I panted beneath him. My cock hardened in a flash from his aggression. More. I needed more.
Abnus stared at me, his breath short and hard. His fingers trailed over my skin in whisper-soft caresses. I arched up, following his movements.
“Abnus,” I cried, lifting my hands toward him. I needed to feel him. All of him.
He trapped my hands against the bed, manacling my wrists together. His other hand roughly pinched one of my nipples, and I whimpered at the sharp pain shooting through me. My cock twitched, and a bead of pre-cum dripped from my tip to my stomach.
“Yes,” I groaned, canting my hips toward him in an effort to get friction.
Abnus didn’t allow it. He held me firmly in place, leaving me desperate as he tortured my nipple with his fingers, making me whine and cry. He bent down and took the abused nub into his mouth and laved his tongue over it, making me shout. It stung so perfectly.
My hips bucked beneath him. My cock was desperate for him.
Abnus ignored my whines and kept sucking on my nipple until he pulled off with a pop.
The nub glistened and was pink from his attention.
It burned in the air, but I wanted more.
So much more. He kissed over my chest to my other nipple, giving it the same treatment.
When my nipples matched, he leaned up. “Keep your hands where they are.”
I shook my head. “I want to touch you.”
He nipped my tender nipple, making me groan, as his hand tightened on my wrists. “Let me care for you, pet. You need it, and so do I. Allow me to be the only thing in your mind. I shall give you all that you desire at this moment. You are mine and mine alone. Only I can take care of you.”
Panting, I nodded. I trusted Abnus.
As he let me go, I kept my hands above my head, gripping the headboard to keep from touching his lovely gray skin.
Abnus kissed down my chest, licking and nipping my skin. He left a host of marks behind, claiming me as his. Just his. No one else’s. Each touch on my body made me harder and more desperate for him to be inside of me. I squirmed beneath him. I needed him in me, stretching me, claiming me even more.
Abnus nipped along my hip bones before nuzzling the patch of hair at the root of my cock. He slid his fingers through the wetness beading on the head of my cock, then he teased my foreskin before rubbing his palm on the crown of my cock.
“Fuck, Abnus. Please,” I begged. I didn’t care how needy I sounded. My cock was painfully hard and needed stimulation or I was going to die.
His tongue swiped over the head, and I shouted. He nibbled on my foreskin, lightly tugging, and I cried out from the sharp sting, which had more pre-cum leaking out of me.
Abnus chuckled darkly, kissing down my shaft before he took one of my balls into his mouth, swirling his tongue around one. I clutched the headboard until my knuckles turned white. I couldn’t stop the panting cries even if I wanted to.
“You are going to bring someone, pet,” Abnus said.
“I don’t care.” I didn’t care who came or saw me.
Wet heat swiped my hole, and I grunted, lifting my legs to present myself to him. He licked me again and again, prodding my tight pucker with his tongue. I cried his name, pushing myself down toward him.
“Imagine someone coming in and seeing you like this. Open and needy,” he said as his finger pressed against my hole, teasing the furled skin.
I whimpered. I had to be a sight with my legs up and my cock throbbing with need.
“So desperate for me,” he whispered. “Like you are mine.”
“I am yours.”
“That you are.”
I nodded, biting my lip. My hips wiggled. “Please, Abnus.”
“What do you want?” he asked before returning to licking and sucking on my rim.
Every swipe stole my sanity. My cock throbbed, leaking pre-cum all over my stomach. Animalistic cries came out of my lips as I rocked, trying to get his tongue inside me. “Abnus.”
He slapped my ass, making me jolt, and my cock hardened even further.
Abnus demanded in an unforgiving tone, “Tell me what you want.”
“You.” My breath was harsh.
“What do you want me to do?” he asked, sucking on my balls, ignoring my weeping cock.
“Fuck me,” I begged, squirming.
“As you desire.” He spanked me again, making me groan. “Roll over.”
I did so without question and lifted my ass up.
He brushed a gentle hand over my sore cheek before he vanished, and the bed dipped with his departure.
I was about to ask where he was going when his hands latched onto my ankles, dragging me backward.
I yelped as my cock dragged over the silky sheets.
He pulled me to the edge of the bed and spanked me again, ripping a groan from my throat as my cock leaked against my stomach. My toes could just reach the floor like this. I pushed up, desperate. I reached back for him, but Abnus pushed my hands up and trapped them against the sheets.
“No,” he ordered. “Keep your hands above your head.”
I nodded, gripping the sheets as my hips rocked in an attempt to seek friction of any kind.
The sound of something opening made my pulse jump.
I arched higher. Shit. I wanted him inside me.
His slick fingers circled my rim, and I cried out as the tingles shot straight to my cock. Needy whimpers escaped from my lips.