Chapter 42
Chapter forty-two
“I often wax on about the future being stone, but I find, when I truly allow myself to think about it, what I desire most is someone who loves me as much as I love them.” – from the diary of Oren Byrne, age twenty.
The carriage flew through the sky toward wherever Abnus lived. I had to trust that the coachman wouldn’t lead me astray and that the four pegasi, who were bright white with black feathered wings, would actually be able to support the weight of the carriage.
Yes, they were magic, as was this conveyance, but I greatly wished to be on the ground once more.
I hadn’t minded flying with Abnus’s arms wrapped around me, but that was wholly a different experience than flying in the carriage by myself.
The carriage was made from the same material as the Night Court palace had been, and I quickly found that if I touched the wall, it would turn clear, allowing me to look out of it much as one did with a window—something that was completely terrifying when you were flying through the sky.
I had quickly turned the carriage solid once more and sat carefully in my seat, waiting for it to be over.
This journey would’ve been much more enjoyable if Aidan had been able to come with me, but Cethin had arrived before we’d been able to leave and he’d waylaid Aidan. Though if Aidan had truly desired, he would’ve been able to keep Cethin in Sídhetír—he’d chosen to allow his husband to follow.
Before the carriage had departed, Aidan had whispered in my ear, “This is your choice, Oren, your decision. No one can make it for you, but I shall stand beside you no matter what you pick.” And I knew he would.
The carriage shuddered under me, and I yelped. We were going down. We were landing? We were crashing? Fuck. I gripped the velvet cushion beneath me and tried not to fall off the seat.
With a couple of thumps, the carriage alighted on the ground, and I wasn’t any worse for wear. I couldn’t say the same for Queen Eilidh’s cushion. I’d managed to put small holes in the fabric from my strong grip. Hopefully, she wouldn’t be upset—or hopefully she’d blame Aidan.
The door opened, and a castle with several tall turrets stood in the middle of a snow-covered glade. Snow-capped mountains stabbed the sky in the distance, drawing my eye for the briefest moment before I returned to the castle.
Flowers that matched the tattoos on Abnus filled the area, looking like blood-red drops on the pristine snow.
The footman extended a hand, and I frowned at it.
I didn’t need assistance when alighting from a carriage, but it also seemed rude to ignore the proffered clawed hand.
I was nothing if not polite. I slid my hand into the strong grasp and stepped down, my eyes never leaving the castle in front of me.
I’d sent Abnus away, angry, and now, I needed to talk to him—to tell him I loved him, to tell him that I had wanted this since the moment I saw him, that I was sorry I’d kept him away.
I hoped with all my being that he would forgive me, and that somehow we could find a way to be together as I’d always hoped.
“Careful, laddy,” the coachman said in a raspy voice.
I glanced over my shoulder. The dark fae was tall and spindly, dressed in swaths of black fabric that obscured their features and true form, but I caught a glimpse of their burning red eyes in the darkness.
“I am not afraid of Abnus,” I replied with far more confidence than I felt. Abnus would never physically harm me, but he could shatter my very romantic heart.
“Prince Aidan ordered us to return after dropping you off,” they continued. “You’re on your own. Don’t wander off, unless you want a fate worse than death. Have the lord send you back to your kin.”
Before I could reply, they clicked, and the pegasus ran forward, powerful wings flapping. The carriage lifted into the sky and left me quite alone in the snow.
Shivering, I drew my coat tighter around my form and faced the castle with its looming double door. Each side had an ornate brass knocker; lifting one, I pounded on the door, pulse racing in my throat.
When no one responded, I tried again and again and again. Frowning, I pushed on the doors, attempting to just go inside, but it wouldn’t budge.
Locked, I assumed. I slammed the knocker on the door again, hoping beyond hope that Abnus had servants. If he didn’t, I was going to have to find a window to shimmy into, or, heaven forbid, break open.
Either way, I wasn’t leaving here without speaking to Abnus.
I lifted my hand to beat on the door again when it cracked open. A stout, short woman with gray hair pulled into an immaculate bun between her curled horns peered at me with onyx eyes. Her skin was dusty pink and was covered with wrinkles while a pig snout twitched in the center of her round face.
“Human. Are you here for me to eat?” she asked.
I blanched. “N-no. I belong to Abnus.”
“He doesn’t eat humans,” she said. “I do. Or I used to. I could start again if you were to make yourself a gift to me. A tasty luscious gift that I would treasure well into me dotage.”
Well, this conversation had turned more horrifying than I would’ve guessed. “No, he’s mine and I’m his.”
She stared at me. “You’re human.”
“Indeed you are right, but that doesn’t change the fact that I belong to Abnus.”
The dark fae snorted at me.
How did I prove to her who I was? My hand went to my left arm where the mark rested. The tattoo matched Abnus’s perfectly, but some part of me that I didn’t understand loathed the idea of showing it to her or anyone, even Aidan, though he had seen it in my convalescence.
This belonged to me and Abnus only.
However, I didn’t want to get eaten.
Slowly, I removed my cufflink, and her eyes caught on the gold, snorting. I pulled my jacket up just enough to show the edge of my mark.
“You’re engaged to a fae. I smelled it on you already. I doubt it’s Lord Abnus, though. You being human and all.” She smiled, revealing very sharp teeth. “How about you step inside?”
“How about,” I started, waving the gold cufflink, “I give you this and my other one and you show me to Abnus. If he’s upset, he can deal with me.”
“Deal.” She held out her hand, but I hesitated at the last moment.
“No trying to eat me.”
The fae woman snorted. “I already swore to Lord Abnus not to eat any more humans when I began to serve him after the gate formed. My word to him is far more important than to some measly human that’s only about two mouthfuls, short as you are.”
I plopped both of the cufflinks into her waiting grasp and stepped inside.
Fear coiled in my gut, making my stomach climb my throat. I had to swallow repeatedly to keep the contents where they belonged, but nothing could still the shaking that wracked my body.
Being with a fae who admitted they ate humans previously didn’t seem wise, but it wasn’t her presence that had me on edge. I’d kept him away, for weeks, not letting him explain. I’d needed time. Would he understand that? Or was he going to be furious with me?
“Where is he?”
“In his room. His lordship has been in ill humor. I would run while you still can,” she warned. “Powerfully foul his mood is.”
“Where is his room?” I demanded.
She headed up the elaborate staircase that spanned the entryway.
All of the walls were forged of the same frosted glass that reflected the lights from the many chandeliers and sconces burning bright with flames.
Rugs, paintings, and fine furniture lined the floors and walls, but I didn’t care the slightest about them.
It took a few minutes and many staircases and corridors before the fae stopped in front of the large double door at the end of a darkened hallway.
I looked at her, pointing. “Is this door to his room?”
With a slight grin, she said, “You are clever, human, or at least you think you are. If you were truly smart, you would flee. Lord Abnus is in a foul mood, and I don’t want to scrub your blood out of the rugs. But yes, that is the door to his room, and he is in there.”
She started down the hallway, clutching her treasures. “Perhaps he will let me eat your corpse.”
In that moment, I decided if Abnus and I were to spend any significant time here in the future, this fae would have to be kept far from me and any of my brothers, including Aidan.
Without hesitation, I was down the hall, opening the door and stepping inside.
There was a bed in the center of the dark room on a raised platform.
A figure in the bed, under the white silky sheets.
From the corner of my eyes I spotted a sofa, chair, and table, all covered in leather-bound books—filled with sketches, maybe. I wanted to look at them, but not now.
My feet moved of their own will as I crossed the cavernous room toward the bed. I toed off my shoes and climbed up. Abnus. His face was calm and relaxed in sleep, but his features seemed gaunt. My Abnus. Fuck, I liked the sound of that.
Unable to stop myself, I rested a hand on his bare chest, staring at the tattoo I’d seen so many times before. I bent down and pressed a kiss to his skin, groaning. Abnus. My lips trailed over his smooth skin, tasting him as I tugged the sheet down, intending on waking him with a physical apology.
Hands seized my shoulders as he shoved me into the mattress, making me squeak. He growled, “No one kisses me but my mate.”
Heat swelled in my gut. “I believe that is me.”
Abnus hovered over me, panting, eyes wide. “A ghrá. Oren.”
I cupped his face, running my thumbs over his sharp cheekbones. I took in the icy-white horns on his head and the change in his appearance. I loved when he dropped his glamour, when he rarely did.
“You kept me away,” he said eventually.
“I did.”
“Now you’re here.”
“I’m here.”
“Why?”
“Why didn’t you tell me I was your mate?” I asked.
He pulled away, sitting up. I followed him, arms going around my waist. “You didn’t give me a chance.”
“Not after you marked me. Before. Why didn’t you tell me when we met?”
A humorless laugh escaped his lips. “When you were the heir?”
I pursed my lips.
“Oren, you were the heir. We had no future, even though we were mates. Also I refused to take you by force or trickery. I wanted you to care for me as I came to care about you. I kept it a secret.”
“And after Aidan was exposed as the true heir?”
“You wanted to go to school. You told me many times. I would never deny you anything, and I know you. You would’ve said yes without thought, for the mere fact you didn’t want to hurt me, not because you loved me.
I wanted your love. I want it now. I don’t care about fate.
I care about you. I want you, Oren. I want your heart. I want your soul. I want everything.”
I dropped my gaze to the bed, fighting my rush of tears.
He touched my chin, making me look up at him. “When was I to tell you? I wanted to. I want you, but I wanted to give you a choice. I wanted to be assured of your heart.”
“And you’re not?”
“You never said. You’ve never acted as if you wanted me more than what we were, what we are. Then I placed my mark on you, and…”
“I kept you away.” I closed my eyes. I’d made a fucking mess of this. We both had. I faced him, scooting closer until I was on my knees in front of him. I palmed his cheeks, holding him close. “I love you, Abnus.”
He shook his head. “You’re lying.”
Anger curled in my stomach, making me tighten my grip.
“I am not. I am in love with you, and I have been since the first time I saw you. Since the first time you found me hiding in the corner of the library and asked if I wanted tea. I have been since you left after Cethin and Aidan’s wedding.
I have been since you came back. I have been since we studied together.
And I have been since you put this mark on me.
“The truth is, Abnus, I have fallen more deeply in love with you every day.” I shook my head, tears gathering in my eyes. “You don’t get to say I’m lying. You don’t get to doubt me. You don’t have to love me, but don’t say that I don’t love you.”
Abnus pressed his forehead into me. “I have loved you since I saw you on the dance floor that first night. Your cheeks were bright red and your hair kept falling in front of your eyes. You practically ran away after your dance finished and bumped into me. You stammered an apology, and I knew you were my moon, my stars, my soul.”
Heat rushed under my skin, and I mashed my face to his, kissing him roughly. I forced my tongue into his mouth, eliciting a groan from Abnus. I jerked back, and he followed me. “No. Don’t leave.”
“I’m not.” I stroked his cheeks. “Never leave me, Abnus. I want to be with you.” I shook my left arm. “This is a formality. I have wanted you so long, and that is never going to change.”
“Where would I go, Oren? You are all I want, and all I need.”