Chapter 48 Rowe
Rowe
I throw on a jacket and slide through the house in my socked feet. I slip on shoes, open the front door, and throw myself through it.
I blink. Stare. Blink again.
Fairy lights are strung up in my front yard. The pigs are out and playing. They’re making a circle around someone who’s bent down to pet them.
“Pane?”
He glances up, and even with the shadows slicing over his jaw, I would know that silhouette anywhere.
He straightens and I can’t believe it.
He’s wearing overalls.
Overalls.
My heart contracts with joy because that is the one piece of clothing that, months ago, he never would’ve put on.
But now he’s wearing them for me and only me.
I race down the stairs, and before he can say two words, I throw myself into his arms, which open just in time to catch me. He staggers back, and at first I’m certain he’s not going to return my hug, but then he wraps his arms around me and lifts me into the air.
“It’s you,” is all I can say as I push my nose into the crook of his neck. “It’s really you.”
He spins me around and then slowly lowers me to the ground. “I can leave if you want me to.”
“No.” I pull back to look up into those eyes, eyes that make me want to swim in a field of the greenest grass, to dip myself in a jade stone that’s been liquefied. “No. I was wrong. I was so wrong.”
He cocks his head. “Wrong about what, little Sunbeam?”
My heart expands at my nickname. Before every ounce of courage I’ve mustered drains out of me, I grab it like I’m holding on to life itself.
“What I said about how different we are—it’s true.
That’s all true. Nothing will change that.
But sometimes it’s the differences that make everything right.
Pane, I didn’t give you a chance before.
I told you to leave before you were allowed to prove that you wouldn’t go.
You said that you’d stay, and I should have listened.
But my dad had said he would be okay, and Luke had told me he loved me, and both of those turned out to be lies. ”
It all sounds so stupid now that I’m saying it. I rub a hand back and forth over my forehead, as if erasing myself will help me live down some of this humiliation. But I refuse to disappear. It’s time for me to shine.
So I continue, “I know how silly all of that must sound. My dad didn’t plan on dying.
It wasn’t his choice to go. But it stuck with me—and the only way I could prove that it didn’t bother me when someone left was if I didn’t need them in the first place.
If I did everything by myself and never needed anyone, then I couldn’t be hurt. ”
I force myself to look up from his Adam’s apple and into his eyes. I don’t know what I expected—him to be scowling, him looking passive. But he’s neither of those. Pane smiles down on me, looking at me with eyes so full of love that my heart jump-starts to life.
It’s time to leap even further. I’m not done here. There’s a lot of groveling that needs to happen. “I’ve never said this first before, but, Pane, you should know that”—deep breath, take the plunge—“I love you, and if that makes you run, I’m sorry. But you have to know.”
He blinks and shakes his head.
“What?”
“That was a lot to digest,” he explains. “I thought I’d just get a simple hey, what are you doing here, I’m kicking you out again, but that was more than I expected.”
My throat shrivels to the size of a pinhead. I’ve said too much, scared him off. I start to back off, and Pane grabs me by the arm, pulls me to him, and crushes his lips against mine.
I melt and let myself drown in him. I don’t ever want to come up for air. I want to stay like this, fall into him, kiss him until I’m so dizzy that I’ve forgotten my own name.
Every part of me aches for Pane, right down to my toes. If this kiss never ends, I still won’t have had enough of him—because I want everything he’s got to give, and in return I want to give him everything that I have to offer. Without limits, without fear, without holding back.
When we come up for air, Pane takes my face in his hands.
“Sunbeam, I’ve loved you since the moment we met, since you screamed at me not to hit your piggycorns.
I’ve loved you, and even though I tried to deny it, told myself that I needed to focus on the competition, it was impossible to ignore the feeling that took over me from the moment I first laid eyes on you.
” He sighs and brushes hair from my eyes.
“I couldn’t love you any more if I tried. ”
I frown. “Is that a compliment? Or are you saying that you can’t love me more? Or you don’t want to love me mo—”
“Shut up.” He cups my face and kisses me again, harder, until I can’t think. When we part, he presses his forehead to mine. “I love you. I love you. I love you. And please don’t ever doubt me again.”
Breathless, I reply, “I won’t. I won’t ever doubt you again.”
“Good.” He sweeps his nose against mine and says, “Also, I’m building a resort.”
A huge grin takes over my face. My cheeks ache, I’m smiling so hard. “I heard. Does that mean you’re going to need a place to stay while you build it?”
He quirks a brow. “Would you happen to have a shamper available?”
I toss my head back and twine my arms around his neck. “I think we can do better than that.”
“Oh? There’s a piggycorn bed available?”
I kiss him. “Even better than that.”
“A bedroom?”
“One, more specifically.”
“There’s one free in the house?” he says, playing along.
We kiss again, and when we break apart, I tell him, “Mine. My bedroom is available. If you want it.”
He frowns. “And where will you sleep?”
“I was thinking beside you.”
Pane pretends to consider this. “Only if you promise one thing.”
“What’s that?”
“To let me love you.”
I push up onto my tiptoes and kiss him. “I think that can be arranged.”