Chapter 5
The deep bass of the loud dance music pumped through the Hush Hush Club, waking my body up slowly.
I finished the glass of champagne in my hand and reached out to a passing waitress for another. The bubbling sound of laughter surrounded me, the LED lights bathing the skin of some of Hollywood’s most beautiful people as they danced the night away.
Tonight, we were all gathered to celebrate my big brother’s engagement. West and Kaylee were over the moon in love. It was almost hard to watch, but my happiness for the two of them out-shined any envy I may have possessed.
So far, love had escaped me. I had high hopes, though. Maybe someday.
I searched the room and spotted West and Kaylee snuggling in a dark corner of the club. I couldn’t help but smile. They were probably eager to get out of the dance club and move the party downstairs to the basement of this building.
To the secret sex temple West had created with his two business partners, Rian and Theo.
The temple was magical. A place where all inhibitions were shed at the door. Where, within the safety of an NDA, required masks to hide your identity, and strict adherence to boundaries, you could find everything you’d ever wanted.
And it was all beautiful beyond belief.
I was pretty sure we were all addicted to it at this point: me, West, Theo, Kaylee, Rian…and everyone else that was granted membership after a rigorous screening. I never attended at the same time as my brother, of course. And that was the only thing keeping me away tonight. Well, that, and the fact that none of them knew I was actually a member. I’d managed to keep my membership a secret from them, sneaking down in a mask to play with Theo now and then. As far as I knew, Theo still had no idea the mystery woman he’d been playing with for a few weeks was the very person he’d been trying to avoid for years.
I took another gulp of champagne and looked away. My gaze landed on Rian. He was flirting with two beautiful blondes in a corner booth. Knowing him, he’d probably have them both in his bed before the night was over. In spite of his rough exterior, he had no trouble finding companionship, even if it was just for the night.
The deejay switched to a slow song. Watching the couples snuggle up sent a bolt of loneliness through my heart.
It had been so long since anyone held me like that.
To say I longed for human touch was an understatement. That was why I went to the temple. It wasn’t that loving connection I truly needed. It wasn’t emotional. Although, my time with Theo was laced with my own secret emotions, I would never let him see them. Not in the temple.
But it scratched the itch. It gave me just enough to keep functioning during the daylight hours. To get my job done.
Pretending was easy for me. I did it for a living now, but before that I’d pretended for survival.
I wasn’t working right now, but even so I still played a role. The gorgeous Hollywood starlet, the doting sister, the loyal friend.
If anyone knew what constantly stirred under the surface of my carefully sculpted image, they’d be shocked.
I was constantly yearning for love, connection, understanding.
In the meantime, I settled for orgasms provided by anonymous figures in the dark.
I downed my third champagne, and grabbed another, doing my best to avoid looking at the one person I was trying to pretend didn’t exist — Theo.
Nobody in the world made me feel the way Theo did. He was hot and cold, soft and hard, attractive and repulsive, all at the same time. Actually, I only wished he was repulsive. Then maybe I could learn to stay away.
I’ve been drawn to Theo, like a moth to a flame, for years. He’s been my brother’s best friend since we were all kids. We’ve gone through hell and back together.
Theo and I have secrets. The deep, dark kind that could destroy us if they ever get out. But we both pretend they don’t exist. It’s easier that way.
My eyes betrayed me, just as they always did. Slowly but surely, they raked across the crowd, making their way to the corner where I knew Theo would be. It was ‘his’ booth. And, as always, he was surrounded by a group of women who giggled and batted their lashes at his every word.
He was painfully handsome. Still. Not repulsive, no matter how much I wished otherwise. His body still rippled with perfectly sculpted muscles, and his eyes still sparkled with playful mischief. And that damned smoldering heat between us still ripped the breath from my lungs the way it did every single time I allowed myself to watch him like this.
I should know better.
Obviously, I don’t.
Desire washed through me, and I hated him for it.
Damn Theo. Damn his skin, his eyes, his hair — those fucking hands. Damn him for the way I now knew the feeling of his fingertips sliding over my bare skin, or into my mouth.
Damn him for the way I unfortunately still wondered what his beautiful cock would feel like slipping into my pussy. After a few weeks of playing, he’d still not fucked me.
“Fuck!” I muttered under my breath, tearing my eyes away just as his darted over towards me.
I felt the heat of his gaze, but I didn’t dare turn back to meet his eye as I slipped away, hating how I wanted him to watch my ass as I went.