Chapter Twelve
“ W hat the fuck?” Blake grumbles, but Rae is already rallying Autumn, trying to get her to walk on her own. “We’re still—”
Dane scowls. He can’t argue. Otto is being… taken care of, and we have a job to do. Not to mention that we’ve just seen evidence of all the zombies here. If we go back to the Citadel without clearing this place out properly, then that’s it for us.
Never mind what will happen when they discover the people here. If we could find them, they won’t be able to hide from everyone else.
I follow Mason down the slope, a strange numbness spreading through my limbs. Focusing on keeping my steps steady, on not slipping on all the blood, occupies enough of my mind that when I catch up to him at the bottom of the street, I can breathe a tiny bit easier.
We will see what we can do for Otto’s body when we return to the church tonight. And my feelings about all of it are already buried deep. I’ll open that mausoleum when I return to the Citadel or, more likely, on my own deathbed.
“You’re upset,” Mason says, studying my face when I fall into step alongside him. Dirt has been dragged over the cobblestones. The zombies came from somewhere further out.
“I am.”
“Because he’s your friend?”
I look at Mason, confused. “Yeah. As much as anyone can be.”
“What does that mean?”
“Hard to make friends with a job like this. Hard to make friends in the Citadel at all.” I bite back the other words that trip over themselves on my tongue, desperate to be spoken aloud.
It’s hard because it’s meant to be. Because to be friends is to be vulnerable, to trust another person, and outside of the way I trust the team to have my back physically when we’re on a job like this, I don’t trust any of them at all.
Except Otto, maybe. Maybe I should have sought him out at the Citadel. Maybe we could have been friends.
“Oh,” Mason says. “I thought you two might be more than that.”
“Like, we fucked?”
He shrugs, but the sharp flick of his eyes tells me I have the right answer.
Fucking doesn’t have to be vulnerable, and I can’t ever afford it to be.
The fact that I only have sex with men already singles me out as a target, and I have the luxury of not hiding it because the fact that I come out and hunt affords me some degree of privilege.
Still, it doesn’t stop reactions like Autumn’s—I won’t be procreating, so in the Citadel’s eyes, I’m useless.
Hunting makes me less useless. The entire thing gives me a headache.
“We never did,” I say. “It’s not… Men being with men, women being with women—whatever, really; if you’re not going to have kids, then it’s not acceptable.”
“Narrow-minded of them.”
“They’re thinking of survival, not comfort.”
“Still.” When I look at Mason again, his eyes burn. “They should not hurt you because of it.”
It’s not something I know how to make him understand. “It is what it is,” I say instead.
We find no other zombies that day, though I don’t know how focused we are on looking. Even my attention wanders, though Mason seems to be alert enough, and so is Dane. Autumn is no use at all, despite her quick movements earlier. Fear has her in its claws and I’m not certain when it will let go.
When the sun begins to sink, Mason directs us all up back toward the church. Dane makes a half-hearted protest but trots along obediently when Mason simply ignores him.
My steps only slow when we step into the graveyard. My stomach churns and acid rises in my throat. I can’t go in there. I can’t .
Rae stops on my other side. “We have to do it,” she says.
Autumn stops with her and stares ahead, but I think she doesn’t see anything at all.
Maybe the zombie digging its teeth in. That’s all I see, playing on a loop in my mind. That and the ragged wound, blood oozing over too-pale skin.
“Yeah,” I say, voice hoarse. I still don’t move.
Mason looks back. He’s reached the church door, but his eyes unerringly seek out mine. I straighten my back. Yeah. Yeah, I can do this.
One foot in front of the other.
Dane and Blake have stopped, too. I’m surprised by how shaken they seem, but maybe I shouldn’t be. Not that I think they care about Otto. Just… this job is strange. Everything about it is strange. We all let our guards down, even if we didn’t mean to.
“Come on,” Dane says roughly when I reach them. “Let’s get this done.”
I move ahead of them as we ascend the steps into the church. Even in as poor repair as it is, it takes my eyes a second to adjust to the change in light.
I freeze at the sight before me. Otto is sitting on one of the pews, Sal on one side of him, Emma on the other. She has her hand over the bite mark, but when she looks up and sees us, it falls away…
Revealing smooth, unmarked skin beneath.
I almost drop my bat. Years of muscle memory keep it in my hand, but my fingers twitch all the same, a momentary weakness.
Otto shrinks back. His eyes are clear, skin its usual pale hue. No fever. No signs of the virus.
“How?” I ask, but I’m not the only one who speaks.
“What the fuck ?” Dane snarls. He raises his hatchet high. “You were supposed to take care of him.”
Emma cocks her head to one side. She’s tall but carries none of Dane’s bulk; still, she’s not at all intimidated by him. “We did.”
“That’s not—He’s not—” Rae snaps her mouth shut and shakes her head.
“It’s not possible ,” Blake says.
Autumn isn’t speaking at all. She’s gone pale, practically swaying on the spot. I think she might pass out.
Mason comes up on my other side. His fingers brush my arm. “All kinds of things are possible,” he says lowly. He looks at me through pale lashes. “They’ve taken care of it.”
I don’t know what to say to that. I move closer to Otto instead, and Sal bristles, but Mason must make some gesture because he doesn’t get to his feet. Emma holds my gaze for a second, then shuffles aside.
I reach out and run trembling fingers over the spot on Otto’s skin where I know he was bitten. Nothing. He’s warm to the touch, as he should be. The press of my fingers turns into a grip of his shoulder.
“You feel okay?”
Otto nods quickly. “Yeah.” He darts a look at Sal, then Emma. Whatever they did, he’s not going to tell. “Yeah, I’m fine.”
“Fuck this. He’s not one of us now,” Dane snarls. He storms off down the church and Blake hesitates for only a second before he follows.
I look back at Rae. She has tears in her eyes and one hand on Autumn’s arm tight enough to bruise. “Come on,” she says and tugs Autumn along with the others.
“You should—” I begin, but Sal interrupts.
“He can stay with us.” He casts a dark look down at the altar, where Dane is banging things around. “We already got his stuff.”
“That what you want?” I ask Otto.
He chews his lower lip, darting a quick look back at the others. “Might be for the best. For now.”
“Yeah. Yeah, okay.” My voice is hoarse. I squeeze his shoulder again. “I’m glad you’re okay. Really.”
Otto smiles up at me, a fleeting thing, and when I let go and step back, Sal and Emma draw him away and over to the door that leads under the church.
Mason doesn’t make a sound behind me. I feel his presence, something giant and dark, ready to consume me whole.
“You knew they’d do that, didn’t you?”
“Yes,” Mason says. He’s closer than I expect, and his voice sends a shiver down my spine.
I think back to the interaction, just after Otto was bitten. It’s fuzzy from adrenaline, from fear.
“You told them to do that.”
I know I’m right. I know I’m right the same way I know I’m right about Mason being around that first day, about him appearing with the zombies that first night.
“You see a lot, little lamb,” Mason murmurs in my ear. I turn my head, and he’s right there , face too close. I want to step back, but if I do, I fear, somehow, he might go for my throat.
“Not enough,” I say, and a smile slowly widens on his face.
“Well. Keep those pretty eyes open tonight.” Mason glances past me, down the church. Are the others watching? Can they all see the way my heart is frantically trying to escape my chest? “I fear you have more to worry about than the zombies.”
“They won’t do anything to me.”
Mason makes an amused sound. “Of course.” He reaches out and rubs his thumb over my cheek. It comes away red. “This is a good colour on you.”
I don’t have anything to say to that. Even if I did, Mason takes my words with the movement of his hand, so instead, I turn away from him and head slowly down to the altar.
Autumn is curled on her side on top of her sleeping bag, still shaking. Tears glisten on her cheeks and I swiftly look away. Blake stares in the direction Otto vanished with Emma and Sal, and Rae’s gaze flicks between the door and Autumn, as though she can’t work out where her attention should be.
Dane watches me. I can’t read his dark, hooded eyes, and for once, I don’t try. My arms feel like lead, but I know I’ll raise my bat quickly enough if threatened.
“What did he say?” Dane asks once Mason has slipped through the door and closed it carefully behind him.
For once, we’re all alone up here, though I’ve no doubt that someone will soon be up to join us.
“Nothing useful.”
“Isaac.”
I stare back at Dane, suddenly willing him to start a fight. I’ve no better idea than he does about what’s going on here, and it scares me too, but I’m not about to take it out on the rest of the team.
“ Nothing useful.”
“He knows what they did, though.” Blake scowls. He doesn’t turn his back on the door, and with the way he turns his head, I know he can still see it out of the corner of his eye. “He wasn’t surprised.”
“He wasn’t,” I agree.
“What do you think they did?” Rae asks. “The virus… there’s no cure.”
Next to her, Autumn whimpers and squeezes her eyes shut. I look at Dane, who for once has nothing to say.
He was the one suggesting something else might be at play yesterday, but now? Now he’s quiet?
Vaccinations don’t work like that. Wounds don’t heal like that. Any cure would still have left imprints on his skin, an indelible mark he could never be rid of.
Whatever they’ve done, Otto truly might survive. He’d never be allowed back in the Citadel with a bite mark, virus in his system or not. No mark, no proof, no way to keep him out.
“I don’t know.” I sigh and sit back on one of the pews. “I’ll take first watch.”
It’s a testament to how shaken Rae is, and Blake, too, that neither of them argues. Rae settles quickly next to Autumn, though I don’t think she’ll sleep. Blake stomps around for a while, washing up and changing before he lies down, too, back to us and face towards the door.
Dane says nothing. He vanishes to clean up, like Blake did, but when he sits back down on his sleeping bag, he doesn’t close his eyes. When it comes time for the second watch, the first passing in absolute silence, he gets to his feet.
“Sleep, Isaac.”
To my surprise, I drift off as soon as I rest my head, bat clutched against my chest. My left hand is under my jacket, a makeshift pillow, fingers brushing the hilt of my knife.
I’m just as on edge as everyone else. What if it didn’t work? What if Otto changes during the night? He’s down there with the rest of them, and I don’t know that they’re prepared for that danger.
A sound wakes me. A sound and a shift of air that mean there’s someone too close.
I bring the knife up before I even fully reach consciousness again. Dane hisses through his teeth as he grabs my arm.
“Fuck,” I mutter. I don’t let go of the knife or of my bat. “What are you doing?”
“You looked like you wanted to sleep somewhere more comfortable,” Dane says. His eyes glint through the darkness, running over me heavily.
I recoil in disgust. “Fuck off , Dane.”
Dane huffs. He sounds amused, not annoyed, and that only has my hackles rising even further.
“Don’t be like that.” He shifts from the crouch he’s in to his knees.
I haven’t lowered the knife and my hand doesn’t tremble.
He keeps pushing, and I’ll end this. I won’t even feel guilty about it.
“Don’t we all need some comfort tonight? ”
“Find it elsewhere.”
He cocks his head to one side. “Where would you prefer I find it, hmm? With our little protégé? With our would-be zombie? Or how about with that freak who can’t keep his eyes off you?”
Autumn. Otto. Mason. I bite back a growl.
“Don’t think I won’t kill you. Leave everyone the fuck alone.”
That gets me a chuckle, but it doesn’t sound real. Dane lets go of my arm. The places his fingers bit into pulse with pain, promising bruises in the morning.
“All right, all right,” he says like he’s conceding, like he thinks I don’t mean it. “Keep your eyes open. Something strange is going on here.”
I don’t move again until he walks away, until I can feel his eyes on me, but I know he’s far enough I can settle again. Autumn’s breaths are heavy somewhere to my left, but Rae’s aren’t, and I don’t know if that means she’s awake or not.
Sleep eludes me now, and I roll onto my back, staring unseeing up at the ceiling. Keep your eyes open. Mason said the same thing.
Dane’s warning me about Mason and the town. That much is obvious.
But Mason was right. I shift my knife in my hand.
Out here, if I can’t trust my team, who can I trust?