Chapter 9
“So, that was how I finally came to dance with Mr Darcy, despite all my earlier resolutions.”
“Poor Mr Darcy!” Jane sighed into her coffee as Elizabeth finished relating her side of this story from the previous evening. “Mr Bingley was so distressed when he learned what had happened in the ballroom. He was eating supper with me and had no idea of what was happening until later.”
The two young women spoke quietly together at the breakfast table, where their mother sat semi-prostrate at one end, and their father slouched at the other, absorbed in a book.
Their younger sisters had either finished eating or declined to eat and gone to amuse themselves or lie down in the parlour.
“Mr Bingley’s sisters were there in the ballroom,” Elizabeth said with some asperity. “I would have expected them to intervene, both out of duty and out of future hopes, in Miss Bingley’s case. Instead, it was left to me, a guest, to step in and restore order.”
Jane nodded, looking troubled.
“Mr Bingley was upset about that too. I was there when Mrs Hurst said that it would not have been appropriate to involve themselves in Mr Darcy’s affairs. She seemed to think Mr Darcy was somehow to blame, although Mr Bingley did not agree.”
“It was not at all Mr Darcy’s fault,” Elizabeth insisted with a frown. “I think Mrs Hurst only did not want the trouble. The man who insulted him was too drunk and loud, and he spoke very ill of Mr Darcy’s father. I don’t see that Mr Darcy could have ignored such a provocation.”
“No doubt you are right, although I suspect it all happened too quickly for Mrs Hurst to understand, and she only did not want to admit her mistake to her brother. Surely it will all have been resolved at Netherfield Park between their party this morning.”
“What an optimist you always are, Jane! No, I shall continue to believe what I said of Mrs Hurst and Miss Bingley. They wilfully snubbed him last night, after all their previous making up to him. I should not trust them at all if I were you.”
Instead of arguing this point, Jane only smiled.
“There is one thing you have not told me yet, Lizzy. Does Mr Darcy dance well?”
Elizabeth laughed and then smiled back at her sister.
“Yes, I cannot say otherwise. Whatever his true character, Mr Darcy does dance well. I might have even enjoyed it.”
“Ah, yes, my fair cousin, Mr Darcy condescended to dance with you last night, did he not?” interrupted Mr Collins, only now entering the breakfast room and hearing the last words spoken between the sisters. “I hope you are fully cognisant of the honour he did you and our whole family.”
The sisters looked at one another with a slight lift of eyebrows at this speech.
Mr Collins seemed to have quite forgotten that, whatever the relative fortunes of the parties or the consequence of their families, the honour in granting a dance was typically considered to be granted by the lady in question, and not the gentleman.
“You will be pleased to hear, Mr Collins, that Mr Darcy even thanked me for my dance,” Elizabeth told him solemnly. “I have no doubt that my performance on the dance floor was satisfactory, even for the master of Pemberley.”
“Indeed, your dancing is most admirable, Cousin Elizabeth. I could not fault you, but Mr Darcy will be accustomed to dancing with the highest ladies in the land, and his opinion is worth far more than mine, just as his dancing is likely infinitely superior.”
“You speak nothing but the truth, Cousin,” Elizabeth told him with a straight face, while remembering how Mr Collins had trodden on toes, turned the wrong way, and proved a general menace to all dancers in the first two measures he had claimed with Elizabeth.
At the head of the table, Mr Bennet looked up over his book with a slight smile of amusement for his second eldest child. A moment later, he looked as though he might have regretted this when Mr Collins used this opportunity to catch his eye.
“Mr Bennet, Mrs Bennet, Miss Bennet, might I beg your indulgence to speak to Miss Elizabeth alone? There is something I would particularly like to say to her, and it would be best spoken in privacy.”
Alarmed, Elizabeth turned to her mother and shook her head vehemently, but Mrs Bennet was already on her feet, her previous indolence after the late night and ample punch forgotten in her excitement.
“Of course, Mr Collins. Mr Bennet and I were just leaving the table, weren’t we, Mr Bennet? Jane has her embroidery in the parlour, and I know she is keen to finish it before Christmas.”
“Father, Jane, I pray you stay,” Elizabeth pleaded. “I see no need for privacy in anything that might pass between myself and Mr Collins.”
It was no use, however. Mrs Bennet had already chivvied both family members from the table and was ushering all of them out of the door.
Elizabeth would have to face Mr Collins alone, and her heart sank at the likely nature of what she expected him to say, having already made his intentions and his preference all too clear.
As soon as the door closed, the young clergyman came and sat in the chair beside Elizabeth with great ceremony, adjusting his coat tails and clearing his throat.
“Cousin Elizabeth, during the course of my stay here, I have come to value your sensible mind and balanced temper as much as your pretty face,” he began.
“Having observed your wisdom in action at the Netherfield Park ball last night, I knew I must put a most important question to you this morning, and for discretion’s sake, I must do this alone. ”
She steeled herself for what must come next, ready to explain to this foolish man all the reasons why they could never be united in matrimony.
“Given Mr Darcy’s astonishing outburst at last night’s estimable entertainment, what ought I to do?”
Elizabeth blinked at him, her mind going blank for a moment.
“What should you do…?” she queried, and he nodded vigorously.
“You will naturally perceive my awkward position. No-one could be deaf and blind to the scurrilous rumours abroad at Netherfield Park last night, and I know you share my views on the horrors of evil gossip. Given the gracious debt I owe to the generosity of Lady Catherine de Bourgh, I feel bound to act in Mr Darcy’s defence.
Yet, it is unclear to me how best to proceed. ”
The relief of hearing such an explanation of Mr Collins’ turmoil was so great that Elizabeth almost laughed. The smile she bestowed on her cousin was genuine.
“I do not believe you are obligated to take any immediate action, Cousin. Nor should you. The best service we can do for Mr Darcy at the present time is to ignore the gossips and treat him with customary civility, in accordance with his own actions. The gossips themselves will be better tutored by the example of our good behaviour than anything else.”
This answer seemed to please her cousin, who returned her smile with his hands pressed together as though in prayer.
“How thoughtful and wise you are, Cousin Elizabeth. Your estimable qualities have been apparent to me from the moment I entered Longbourn, but they were confirmed forever by your civility and tact in dancing with Mr Darcy last night. That unfortunate scene could not have been better ended by the greatest of diplomats.”
“You are too kind.”
Elizabeth smiled again and made to rise, but an abrupt change in the expression on her cousin’s face stopped her.
“As good as your advice first seemed, I did assure Mr Darcy that I was entirely at his service during my stay in Hertfordshire. Given that, and my connection with Lady Catherine, it may be that he expects more from me in particular than from his general acquaintance. I am minded to go to Netherfield at once and invite Mr Darcy to make whatever use of me he wishes.”
An image of Mr Darcy kicking the obsequiously-bowing Mr Collins into the Netherfield duck pond intruded itself into Elizabeth’s mind.
Putting it aside, she set herself to discouraging her cousin before he could get anywhere near Netherfield or its ponds.
Logistics were the most obvious place to start.
“Mr Collins, are you not returning to Kent this very afternoon? Between now and when our carriage takes you to town to catch the stagecoach, I do not see what could be done, even with the best will in the world.”
“If I am needed at Netherfield, I would naturally extend my stay,” the clergyman announced, much to Elizabeth’s alarm. “For Lady Catherine’s nephew, I would spare no effort, Cousin.”
“I judge a call at Netherfield on this account unwise,” Elizabeth pressed on, having seen Mr Darcy’s reaction to her cousin last night.
“It might even be perceived as giving weight to the gossip you wish to counter. In any case, Mr Darcy would likely find it presumptuous to call on so short an acquaintance. He is a very proud man.”
“What you say might well be true for ordinary men like your father or Sir William Lucas, but different rules apply to the clergy, Cousin Elizabeth. What is presumptuous for a layman may not be so for a cleric. Yes, I believe my presence might be welcomed, or even expected.”
Mr Collins gave an airy wave of his hand, his face growing dreamy as though already imagining himself in an interview with Mr Darcy at Netherfield Park.
Elizabeth was dismayed, seeing the very real danger that he would carry through this ill-considered mission and make their family even more ridiculous than they had managed themselves last night.
Laying a hand on his forearm for emphasis, Elizabeth looked Mr Collins straight in the eye.
“Mr Collins, you must not go to Netherfield Park today, for Mr Darcy’s own sake. You and I both know the rumours that provoked him to be evil falsehoods, but they will only fade away if we do not dignify them with attention. As a clergyman, your attention can only add even more fuel to the fire.”
Evidently struck both by her hand on his arm and the sternness of her tone, Mr Collins appeared to reconsider.
“Do you really believe that, Cousin Elizabeth? Is this really how you see the truth of Mr Darcy’s situation?”
Did Elizabeth believe what she was saying?
Well, she did not think it was untrue, and she was entirely convinced of the rightness of keeping Mr Collins from Netherfield Park.
As to the truth of Mr Darcy’s situation, Elizabeth did not know what her cousin really meant and doubted that he knew either.
Elizabeth was increasingly of Charlotte Lucas’s opinion that the truth of Mr Darcy’s birth did not actually matter and should be left alone.
His character and behaviour should speak for themselves, whether they spoke well of him or not.
Either way, he did not deserve the creeping social harassment that had been obvious even in the house of his friend last night.
“I believe strongly that you should not go to Netherfield Park today,” Elizabeth assured Mr Collins.
“Aside from anything else, you have been almost two full weeks here at Longbourn, and Lady Catherine de Bourgh will be expecting your return. From respect to your patroness, and concern for your future ambitions, I would urge you not to delay your journey back to Kent.”
The dark cloud lifted from Mr Collins’s brow, and he seemed delighted by Elizabeth’s response, his expression growing almost beatific as he regarded her.
“I shall do exactly as you say, Cousin Elizabeth. What wit and wisdom you possess together in equal harmony! You are Lady Justice herself, tempered by Christian virtue and womanly grace.”
“Thank you, Mr Collins, you are too kind. I am only glad to have helped you in this difficult decision. Now, Jane is not the only one with work to be completed by Christmas.”
This time, Elizabeth did get to her feet in readiness to escape the room, but her route was blocked by Mr Collins unexpectedly falling to his knees in front of her and continuing his previous praise. She had to step back swiftly to prevent him from seizing one of her hands in his enthusiasm.
“What clarity of mind and sensibility of speech! Truly, you are the ideal partner of my life. In giving such excellent guidance to me on this matter, you have passed the ultimate test for any clergyman’s wife – being able to give wise counsel. How happy I am, Cousin Elizabeth!”
Suddenly the door swung open and Mrs Bennet bustled excitedly into the room, in a flurry of lace and lavender, her smile only growing broader to see them in that attitude, Mr Collins kneeling on the floor and Elizabeth looking down on him with great emotion.
“Is everything settled, Mr Collins?” she asked eagerly. “Have you set a date?”
A wave of anger and frustration swept over Elizabeth at being so ambushed and misunderstood.
“Everything is entirely settled, Mother. It is settled that I will never, ever marry Mr Collins and have never given either of you any indication to the contrary.”
Tempted to vent her spleen further and say things she might later regret, Elizabeth rushed from the room.
“Lizzy!” screeched Mrs Bennet’s angry voice behind her, but Elizabeth did not pause or look back.
As she stormed away, Elizabeth briefly caught sight of Charlotte Lucas and her sister in the hallway with Jane and Kitty, evidently just arrived to share in chattering over last night’s ball.
Too overwrought to think of joining the other young women, she only nodded briefly to Charlotte and then hurried upstairs towards her room.
“I have never been so insulted, Madame. I will not stay another hour under this roof!” Elizabeth heard Mr Collins say before she slammed her door closed and threw herself on the bed.