Excerpt from Of Pucking Course
I sit up in bed after overhearing what Dakota just said.
Did I just hear that right?
She just said that her ex Jake made her feel self-conscious in the bedroom…that he made her feel uncomfortable…that he never gave her an orgasm…
An angry, restless energy courses through me.
I shouldn’t be doing this, eavesdropping on the conversation she’s having with her friends in my living room. I should be taking a nap and resting up for tonight’s game.
She doesn’t know that I came home early, that I’m in the guest room since my bedroom’s a mess from the remodel, that I can hear every word she’s speaking.
But there’s no way I can ignore what she’s said.
The curious part of my brain goes into overdrive. I need to know exactly what her douchebag ex did to her.
I hear her talking from the living room again.
“I just feel so embarrassed and ashamed,” she says. “I mean, Jake and I were together for almost a year. And not once was I able to have an orgasm with him. ”
“Don’t say that,” Maya says. “This isn’t your fault.”
“It’s absolutely not your fault,” Ingrid says.
“Yeah, the only person at fault here is Jake,” Bella says.
“Totally,” Sophie chimes in. “Jake was your partner, Dakota. Your pleasure in the bedroom should have been his number one priority. Instead, he was a selfish jerk who only cared about getting himself off.”
I nod along with everything they say. Only a selfish asshole would ignore his partner’s needs in the bedroom. Jesus, this Jake guy was an even bigger piece of shit than I thought.
“No, I really think it might be a problem with me,” Dakota says, her tone sad. “I, um, haven’t been able to have an orgasm with most of the guys I’ve dated.”
That angry feeling sharpens inside of me.
“I just…I get so inside of my own head. It’s hard for me to relax and enjoy how sex feels. I always worry that I’m taking too long. And the only times I’ve been able to come with a partner are when I’m using toys.” She’s quiet for a moment. “When I’ve brought it up to the guys I’ve dated, they’re almost always understanding at first. They’re willing to try things to help me. But they all eventually give up. I think they just get sick of dealing with me. Like, they’re frustrated that my problem isn’t an easy fix.”
“That’s because the guys you’ve dated are assholes,” Maya says.
Dakota lets out a sad laugh. “Maybe. Or maybe it’s both. Maybe they’re assholes and my body is defective.”
Maya, Ingrid, Bella, and Sophie reassure Dakota that she’s not.
I sit there going over everything Dakota has just said. My chest aches when I think about how sad and ashamed she sounds .
No one should ever make their partner feel like they’re defective or that something is wrong with them, no matter the reason.
The fact that Dakota has had such a terrible experience with her exes in the bedroom makes me want to rage. Sex is an intimate act and you should always go out of your way to make your partner feel comfortable. Always. That’s baseline. Her exes are the bottom of the fucking barrel if they couldn’t even do that.
“I just want to be a confident sex goddess who has multiple orgasms with a partner. Is that too much to ask?” Dakota’s tone is half joking, half sad.
“You can be,” Bella says. “You just have to find the right guy.”
I lie back down, that restless feeling still coursing through me. There’s zero chance I’m going to get back to sleep now that I’ve learned all this about Dakota.
They hang out for another twenty minutes before I hear Maya and Ingrid say they should get going.
“I need to get back to the arena too for tonight’s game,” Sophie says.
“Thanks again for coming over, you guys,” Dakota says.
“We’re here for you always, no matter what,” Sophie says.
“Anytime you need a girls’ night or a vent session, text us,” Bella says.
Dakota thanks them and offers to walk them out. I listen as they make their way out of the living room, their voices fading.
Slowly, I stand up from the bed and make my way to the door as quietly as I can. I need to walk out of here and go to my bedroom without Dakota seeing me or hearing me. I don’t want her to know that I heard all the personal things she shared with her friends.
I open the door right as I hear the front door close. Dakota tells them all goodbye.
I start to speed-walk across the living room toward the hallway when I trip over the toolbox that my brother-in-law left here the other day.
Pain shoots through my foot.
“Shit!” I cry out instinctively.
A second later, Dakota comes running over.
“Oh my god. Sam, are you okay?”
I swallow back a groan. “Yeah, just…” I nod at the toolbox while kicking out my foot.
She walks up to me. “I-I didn’t know you were here.”
She glances over at the open door of the guest room. I forgot to close it, so it’s pretty fucking obvious I was in there. Damn it.
“Wait, you were in the guest room?”
I hesitate. “Yeah. I came home a little early and thought I’d try and take a nap in the guest room before tonight’s game since my bedroom is such a mess.”
Her big brown eyes go wide. “Wait, you didn’t hear me talking about…”
I hesitate as she trails off. I can’t look Dakota in the eye and lie to her. But I also don’t want to upset her.
Her cheeks flush. “Crap. You did hear me, didn’t you?”
I nod.
“How much did you hear?”
“Um, pretty much everything. I-I’m sorry, Dakota.”
She covers her face with her hands and falls against the wall. “Oh my god.” She groans. “Oh my god, I’m so embarrassed. ”
“Hey,” I say, my voice gentle. “It’s okay.”
She drops her hands to her sides and her head falls back as she lets out an exasperated laugh. “It’s definitely not okay, Sam. You overheard me rambling about my most embarrassing, humiliating secret.”
“You don’t have any reason to be embarrassed, Dakota. Or humiliated.”
She frowns at me like she’s confused.
“The only ones who should feel embarrassed and humiliated are your exes. I’d be fucking mortified if you were my girlfriend and I couldn’t make you come.”
She blinks at me. A pink flush paints her cheeks.
“I’ve never heard you talk like that,” she says softly.
“Like what?”
“I’m so used to you being so sweet and kind. But you sound almost angry for me.” She bites her bottom lip. She looks intrigued.
“Honestly, Dakota? I am angry. I’m fucking pissed to know there are that many terrible men out there who have made you feel like your body is the problem when it’s not. They are the problem. I’m sorry you went through that.”
“It’s really okay. Other people have it worse.”
Need surges through me. The need to tell her that she’s worthy, that her feelings are important, that she is important.
“Just because other people have it worse doesn’t mean that your feelings aren’t valid too. You matter, Dakota. Your pleasure matters.”
Her gaze turns thoughtful, like she’s just now realizing that.
“And just for the record, you’re not defective. There’s not a single thing wrong with you or your body. The only thing that’s wrong is that you’ve been with selfish and lazy men. The right kind of guy would make it his mission to make his lady feel like a fucking goddess in bed. He would want to give her everything she wants and more. Anything less than that is unacceptable.”
Dakota’s beautiful deep brown eyes are big as she looks up at me. When she blinks, the look in her gaze turns fiery.
She sinks her teeth into her lush bottom lip, holding my gaze. “Is that what you’re like in bed, Sam?”
Raw want flickers in my chest. I know better than to answer that question. If her brother Del were here and could hear me—his teammate and best friend—talking to his little sister like this, he’d kick my ass.
But he’s not here. It’s just Dakota and me.
Just me and the woman I’ve had a crush on ever since I met her five years ago.
Heat rushes through me as I look Dakota in the eye. “Yeah.”
The corner of her mouth hooks up in a shy, sexy smile. “I knew it. I always thought you’d be a sweetheart in bed. That’s how you are as a person.”
I shake my head. “I’m not a sweetheart in bed, Dakota.” My voice is a low growl that makes her eyes widen.
“What are you like then?”
Alarm bells are going off in my brain. This conversation is off the fucking rails. I shouldn’t be talking about sex with my teammate’s sister.
I need to get things back on track right the hell now.
“That’s not for you to know, Dakota.”
I start to walk past her, but she grabs my arm, stopping me. I turn back to her, almost bumping into her. She’s standing so close to me, I can feel the warmth from her body. I can feel when she exhales and her hot, wet breath ghosts my lips. My mouth waters.
She runs her candy pink tongue along her lips, her gaze fiery as she looks at me. “I want you to show me, Sam. Show me what you’re like in bed.”