Chapter 20
twenty
RATHYN
My Everest is asleep. I do not trust the human doctor to know what he’s talking about, even though all of Everest’s vital signs say that he is healthy. He is sleeping more than usual, and I will not be satisfied until I know he’s safe.
I summon Cielo, who stares at me with wide eyes—less afraid of me than before, but he understands his place now. Especially now that I trust he does not feel a need to touch my human.
“Watch him. Summon me immediately if he shows any signs of distress.”
Cielo nods. “Is he injured?”
I hesitate, then decide he’s allowed to know more intimate details. “He ingested some of my breeding seed. I do not know the effects on humans.”
Cielo’s eyes widen, and he nods. “I will keep a close eye on him.”
I feel better about this. They are…friends. I do not like the idea that Everest forms attachments to anyone else but me. It is a new emotion. A very different emotion. One might call it a little too human, but it seems I have no control.
I thought binding him to me as a companion would help ease the need I have for him. That the cravings would dissipate. But being in close proximity to him at all times only seems to make it worse.
Any other logical Vyastil would terminate the contract immediately. But I can’t bring myself to even think of that as an option.
It makes something inside of me ache.
With a breath, I press my palm to the portal side and summon the location of Eissa. He is the closest thing I will ever know to a parental figure, the same way humans have, and he made it very clear that he would help me with my companion upon signing the contract.
I do not know if his help will extend this far, but as he has been the liaison between the Vyastil and humans long before we were established in their world, I trust him not to judge me unless judgment is necessary.
I step through and find Eissa sitting at a long table, flicking through a tablet while eating. He looks mildly startled to see me.
“I am going to assume this is not a social call.” He’s stiff, at attention, nervous. The Tarek at the border have been quiet over the last few months, but none of us will be at ease until there is no longer a threat to our people.
And now that humans are ours, the risk has doubled.
“This is regarding my human.”
He settles and says, “Ah, Everest,” the human way. Gesturing to a chair, he invites me to sit.
“You have had a human companion before.” It’s not a question. Eissa was the first, but he does not talk about it often. His records were redacted and sealed, and I have never felt the need to ask.
Until now.
“Was it…” My words fail me. Everything I wish to ask goes against everything I am. There is an attachment that is forbidden. There are intimacies that would have me publicly flogged and ridiculed. I would lose my position as Vyastil commander.
And yet. I wish to know.
“You like him,” Eissa says after a long moment. “You have enjoyed pleasure with him.”
I bow my head in shame, though I do not feel ashamed. “It was…unexpected.”
“I had a feeling. You were drawn to him the moment you tasted him in the clinic.” Eissa hesitates. “You are connected.”
My hearts skip several beats. How could he know?
“Do you know our history, Rathyn? Of the VySytheh, and how we used to be long before?”
I know some. I know that we were like the Tarek—more barbarian than anything. Brought to our knees by the weakness of emotion. Ruled by our instincts for pleasure and breeding.
We are a better species now.
Except…I don’t know if I can continue to believe that. I have not suffered in my ability to do my job while also having these…these feelings for my Everest.
“I do not understand the meaning of the word.”
“Home,” Eissa says. “The one who is your home, no matter where you are. The one who is meant for you. That is what your Everest is.”
“VySytheh,” I murmur to myself. The word makes me uneasy, and yet, I know it’s right. I feel it beating in my chest like a third heartbeat.
Eissa sighs. “Whatever you do, say nothing. Tell no one.”
“You felt the same,” I say. “With your companion.”
He doesn’t confirm or deny, but the look in his eyes does. “Our companionship was not long. His life was terminated.”
I wonder how, but it must have been the Vyastil. I very much doubt the humans were responsible for that death. Fear creeps over me again. Vyastil are naturally possessive over their things. I would not be looked at askance for keeping Everest to myself.
But if they understood why I didn’t want anyone else near him…
“Do I trust you?”
He looks at me. His ears flick in hurt, and the hum he gives me says the same. “I would never betray you. I know the pain too keenly.”
Closing my eyes, I let my mind wander back to Everest. He’s still asleep, dreaming of our mating. I shift restlessly, wanting to be back with him.
“Will he be safe if I bring him here?”
Eissa blinks for a moment. “If you are careful, yes.”
Everest wants to come back, and I do not blame him. But I am more terrified for his safety than ever before. He is not only vulnerable and weak, but he will become a target to use against me if someone with a hunger for power wants mine.
I don’t know that I would survive losing him.
But I also know I cannot deny him forever.
“He ingested my fluids. My seed. I have not stopped worrying that it will hurt him.”
Eissa stares, then laughs when he realizes my concern. “He will be fine. He may even enjoy that.”
I don’t tell him about the mating herb. “I do not…wish him to be harmed. Ever.”
“Keep those words to yourself, Rathyn,” he says softly. “I raised you better than to show your hearts on your skin.”
I nod, tucking back my emotions. “I do not wish for our companionship to be over.”
So soon, I meant to say, but I can’t because what I mean is, forever.
I want it to last forever.
“Be more clever than I was,” he says. “Understand the risks, and you won’t have to feel the pain I did.”
“Will you take another?”
His gaze turns to the ceiling, and his ears flick. There’s something he’s not telling me, but it’s not my place to demand answers.
Suddenly, I feel Everest start to stir, and I don’t want him to wake without me. “I must go.”
He nods, then stands with me as I step away from the table. He takes my wrist gently, then tilts forward, his forehead pressing to mine. It was the only affection we ever, as young ones, knew. It pales in comparison to what humans can offer.
What my Everest makes me crave.
“Be more clever than I was,” he repeats. “I care for you. I want to see you successful, yes. But also happy.”
Happy was not a concept I understood until my human. But now it is something I want to guard with my life.
“And take care of him, too,” Eissa says as he releases me.
That is something I can promise. I press my hand to my chest and tilt my head down. “Until my final breath.”
He says nothing, but I feel his eyes on me as I step back through his portal and stride to my apartment, where my human is waiting. He’s still asleep. Still dreaming. Still so unaware of me, and yet he seems to sense me.
He turns as I slide atop the covers, and when I open my arms, he rolls into them, resting his weight against me.
This is happiness.
This is what I will guard with my life.