Chapter 27
twenty-seven
EVEREST
Zane blessedly doesn’t say anything about me hanging out at his place more often. I know he wants to tell me he told me so, but he holds his tongue. He knows I’m fucking miserable.
“You can always get a job back at the hot dog stand,” he says as he pulls two shots from his espresso machine. The sight makes my eyes sting. It reminds me of Cielo and his love for lattes.
It’s only been two days, but I feel despondent with the lack of information. Quilliyn still isn’t back yet, and Rathyn hasn’t given me any updates. I don’t even know if he knows Quilliyn is going to speak on Cielo’s behalf.
I feel numb and disconnected.
Mostly because I’m not with Rathyn like I want to be. When I go to his place to sleep at night, I let him use me. And that’s all. It’s nothing more than an exchange of fluids, despite Rathyn trying to show me it’s not. He takes his time with me, forcing me to look at him as he swallows me down.
And when he’s done, he tries to pull me in for a kiss, for a hug, but I turn away from him, and pretend to be too tired. I can feel his hurt from my bedroom, where I toss and turn on the plush mattress, missing the heat of my monster beside me.
It doesn’t help that Rathyn doesn’t let me sleep easily. He refuses to leave me alone.
He prods my mind, speaking to me through that bond we share. He whispers things to me in his language, a lullaby of sorts, a sad song. I hate it and am comforted by it at the same time. I have no idea what he’s saying, but it feels meaningful.
Still, I can’t let myself be vulnerable again.
I ache too damn much. I can’t give myself over to him again. Not until he tells me how he truly feels. If he feels anything for me at all.
“I’m not working at the hotdog stand. I’ll find something else when Rathyn and I end our agreement.”
“And when will that be?”
I pick at the croissant he handed me and sigh. “No idea.” I have a feeling that if it keeps on this path, he’s going to get bored with me sooner rather than later.
Zane says nothing about that either. He must know how upset I am because usually he’s full of opinions when it comes to the Vyastil and their need for human cum.
“Hear anything from Q?” he asks instead.
My eyebrows rise when I hear him call a Vyastil that. “Did you just give a Vyastil a nickname?”
He flushes and glances away. “Whatever, shut up. I can’t pronounce his full name.”
I roll my eyes. “You’re such an asshole. It’s an easy name.”
He shrugs and sips at his latte, staring at me intently, his brows up as if to say, “Well?”
“No, I haven’t heard from him. I don’t think he’s back yet.”
He swirls his cup around, gaze fixed on the foam, before looking back at me. “You think he’s not back because he’s in trouble for trying to help?”
If I didn’t know any better, I’d say Zane was worried. But I do know better. It’s been a while since I proved to him that giving the Vyastil what they need isn’t such a big deal, but his opinions on the matter haven’t shifted.
Bowing my head, I let out a sigh. “I don’t know, but I’d feel like shit if he did. I want to believe he won’t, but it would be just my fucking luck that I’d ruin his life, too. God, I should just stay the fuck away from the Vyastil. I do more harm than good.”
“Yeah, probably,” he murmurs and then looks up at me in a slight panic. “I didn’t mean it like that.”
He probably didn’t, but the words sting anyway. Maybe I really am that useless. Maybe my aunt and uncle were on to something when they tried to lock me away.
I lick my lips and shrug. “Whatever. It is what it is, and I can’t change it. I just need something to focus on.”
“Well, I don’t want you sulking here all day while I’m at work.”
I scoff. “I’m not sulking all day. I’m going to go to the gym to work out.”
He smirks. “Good and then what?”
“Dunno,” I say
He lets out a heavy sigh. “I don’t mean this in a cruel way, but I don’t want to find you here when I get done. You need to start living again, and rotting in your old room isn’t helping.”
I want to tell him that I was living happily with Rathyn until all my hopes and dreams were dashed when he told me I was nothing more than a human cum tool. But I don’t say that.
He gives me another look full of pity, which I hate. “I’m heading out, but text me if you need me, okay?”
There’s a subtext in his tone that says, don’t text me, but I wasn’t going to anyway. He’s not exactly the right person for me to turn to with a broken heart when it comes to the Vyastil.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” I tell him. “Or maybe tonight.”
He lifts a brow. “You’re going to stay?”
“Would that be…I mean, would you mind?”
“You know I never mind. I just don’t want some monster tearing my door down because you didn’t go home for nightly suckies.”
“Fuck off,” I snap, but I almost smile at how ridiculous that sounds. Even if it’s kind of true. But things aren’t getting better. Rathyn is hanging around in my head but not giving me answers, and I’m not going to forgive him just because he misses making out with me.
“I don’t mind if you stay,” Zane says as he grabs his bag. “But you need to decide if you’re in or out.”
“Yeah,” I breathe out. He’s not wrong. I can’t live in this limbo forever.
I sulk on the couch for a while before pushing myself up and heading to the gym. I manage a lackluster workout, mostly watching a few Vyastil lift weights. They remind me of Cielo.
Of Rathyn.
I shake that off and continue working the triceps machine when I feel someone watching me.
I turn my gaze and see Dante standing there, wiping his sweaty face with a towel. When our eyes meet, he smiles and waves.
Then he makes his way over to me.
“Hey, you okay?” he asks, and I sniffle loudly.
“Oh, oh shit.” He glances around and then pulls me off the machine. I go easily, letting him guide me into the locker room and into a corner where we can talk privately.
“What is it?”
I sniffle and swipe at my eyes.
“It’s a long story. And it’s so fucking depressing.”
He frowns and then touches my wrist gently. “Okay, I know what you need. Can you wait for me to shower and change? I also need to let my brother know I’m going to ditch him.”
“You don’t need to do that,” I say quickly.
He waves me off. “Nah. Luca’s a gym addict. He’ll be happy he doesn’t have to quit early because of me.”
I nod, and he rushes off, leaving me to lean against the lockers, my eyes closing, my mind reaching out for Rathyn.
I can’t find him as easily as I used to, but a moment later, I feel his presence in my mind. He says nothing, just lingers there, feeling everything I am.
I let him sit with it. The anger, the pain, the sadness.
I hear his low, off-pitch hum before my eyes snap open.
Dante is touching me gently, pulling me out of my mind and into the present. “You okay there? Looked like you dozed off?”
I clear my throat. “I’m good.”
“Alright, come on. Let’s go.”
He links his hand with mine, a friendly gesture more than anything, as we walk out of the gym and into the cold Michigan air.
“Where are we going?” I ask when he moves to his car and unlocks it.
“My shop.”
“Oh.”
“We can talk there privately. I’d take you back to my place, but my cousin and her wife live next door, and they’re super fucking nosy. And I’m assuming you can’t go home?”
I swallow thickly, my throat clicking. “Yeah, I can’t.”
I don’t even know where home is anymore.
We drive in silence, Dante putting on some music, and I let my thoughts drift. When we finally step inside his shop, he flicks the lights on, and I blink in the brightness.
He motions for me to follow him, and we walk down a small hallway to his office. It’s small and cluttered with sex toys and paperwork. But he still pulls out a chair for me to sit in and then grabs something from the mini fridge behind his desk.
“Whiskey, right after a workout?”
“Yeah. Who the fuck cares, right? Life is short.”
He fills up a ceramic mug that says Big Dicks Don’t Lie and pushes it toward me. I don’t even hesitate before swallowing it all down.
He lets out a surprised laugh and fills my cup a little more. “Alright, now tell me everything.”
I shouldn’t, but I don’t give a shit anymore.
Everything is falling apart. So, I let it all out, fragmented details coming out in a rush.
How Rathyn was hurt in his world, how Cielo helped me find him, how they’re both in trouble now.
How upset I am that Rathyn called me a tool, how I feel like a fool in love.
How everything isn’t as it seems. How stupid I was to become his companion in the first place.
It’s all a jumble of words and information, Dante piecing it together bit by bit, stopping me and asking questions when I make no sense.
“But Quilliyn can maybe free him? Because he’s a prince?” He sounds worried which isn’t unexpected. It was obvious he likes Cielo.
“Yeah,” I say, scrubbing a hand down my tired face.
“And Cielo may be banished to Earth?”
“Yeah.”
“And they’re…probably hurting him now?”
I sniffle and swipe at my stinging eyes. “Yeah, fuck. He is probably enduring it all like he thinks he deserves it. But he fucking doesn’t. He’s so fucking sweet.”
“I know,” Dante says quietly, his eyes down at his feet. “He is.”
“He’s the best.”
“Yeah.”
We’re silent a moment, and then Dante adds, “If he is hurt when he arrives back…if Quilliyn can work his magic…bring him to me. I can help take care of him.”
“Oh, he’d probably love that. I think he has a crush on you.”
Dante lets out a small laugh, and his cheeks turn pink. “Ah…well. I’d be happy to help in any way I can.”
We stare at each other, and the room starts to shift slightly. I may have had too much whiskey. Then my stomach growls loud enough for us both to hear.
He huffs a laugh. “Let’s get you something to eat. Booze on an empty stomach isn’t a good idea.”
He reaches into his mini fridge and pulls out a package of cookies and hands me one.
It takes me a moment to recognize the shapes they’re in, but when I do, I huff out a laugh. “Dick cookies?”